quizzez...

4m email..

---------HaVe U eVeR---------
1. Been so drunk you blacked? Nope
2. Missed school coz it was raining? Not yet... tho good idea...
3. Put a body part on fire for amusement: O.O im not that much of a pyromaniac..
4. Been hurt emotionally: yes.. number of times..
5. Kept a secret from everyone: -.-" wat u think?
6. Had an imaginary friend: Lol... i did once.. but onli made her up coz every1 else had 1 and i sorta felt left out coz ppl were all playin wit their imaginary friends..
7.Cried during a Movie: So many ive lost count...
8. Had a crush on a teacher: UM... EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
9. Ever thought an animated character was hot? nope
10.had homosexual fantasies? ? ER how bout NO?
11. Been on stage: YES.. but onli forced in2 it and HATED it
12. Cut your own hair? neva tried... afta all if u stuff up ull have 2 live wit it a while.. betta not risk it..

-------------FaVoUrItEs-------------
13. colour[s]: Blu!!!! tho pink is ok...
16. Day/Night: Both :S like day 4 seein ppl.. but more awake at nite...
17. Summer/Winter: SUMMER!! :D but not wen itz 2 hot...
18. Lace or satin: SATIN!! hate lace...
19. Fave cartoon Character: dun have 1...
20. Fave Food: chocolate... pastas... lollies...
21. Fave Advert: I dont realli watch TV
22. Fave Movie: well mainly 4m tha genre of comedy and/or romance
23. Fave Ice Cream: Vanilla or choc
24. Fave Subject: atm its re and h bio
25. Fave 'normal' Drink(s): Water ^^
26. Fave Person to talk to: I like 2 listen... and i love 2 talk 2 ppl.. but i mean i enjoy discussin diff subjects wit diff ppl... so dun exactly have a "FAVE"

------------Right now--------------
27. Wearing: Pink Spag top & Jeans
28. Hair is: Long and straight and part in tha middle
29. I'm feeling: tired... but wanna talk 2 some1... how come wen therez no1 round i feel like talkin sometimes?
30. Eating: air? no not eatin ne thin..
31. Drinking: Water
32. Thinking about: Skool.. hw... mi sad existance
33. listening to: Naughty Girl - Beyonce :P

----------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
34. Cried: nope
35. Worn a skirt: skool uniform? more of a dress actualli
36. Met someone new: nope... wait that ladies who did tha soup patrol talk... tho not exactly meet them.. more of they talk i listen...
37. Cleaned your room: Yes.. tho attempt bout as unsuccessful as usual...
38. Done laundry : Yah....
39. Drove a car: Not licensed yet...

--------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
40. Yourself: sometimes...
41. Your friends: ...? wat u mean by that?
42. Santa Claus: *cries* santa 4got me last yr.. no prezzie... well i dun exactly care so... yah...
43. Tooth Fairy: i got 10 bux wen i wz lil 4m mi parents.... and got mi teeth bak :S so it sorta defeated tha idea of tha tooth fairy story...
44. Destiny/Fate: yah... tho i think it can be affected by what we choose 2 do
45. Angels: Bound 2 be some... i mean on earth i guess u can call em ure friends ^^
46. Ghosts: well we all like 2 believe that our deceased loved ones are alwaiz wit us.. and that they noe wat we're doin... as well as tha ppl we noe... that they go on 2 a next life or realm...
47. UFO : somethin that flies that we dunno wat it is ? :S

friendster bulletin...

1) brand of ur hand phone?
nokia
2) wat'l u do if u see ur gf/bf hugging a girl?
(presumin i have a bf...)ask em watz up and whether or not they value tha relationship we're in coz if not im goin...
3) do you live alone?
no wit parents..
4) hav ur own room?
yah
5) fav pet ?
Annabel ^^
6) 1 thing u cant live w/o?
well THING... um... food...?
7) where do u live?
perth..
8) wat wud u do if sumone tells u he/she likes u?
dunno... neva thought bout it...
9) how are you feelin n0w?
tired... betta sleep soon...
10) where do you hangout?
at home? i guess that is sorta sad... but thatz where i spend most of mi time...
11)what are you good at?
nothing?
12) what is it bout a person you cant stand?
cant think of a person i cant stand atm...
13) what do you want?
a simple happy modest life...?
14) a word that describes you?
me in 1 word? thatz hard... um... apathetic like gar suggested last time??
15) what is ur dream?
2 jus have a good life? nothin that i would regret... tho then again therez things i already regret... *sigh*
16) day/nite?
i liek em both
17) sunset/sunrise?
sunset
18) like a romantic bf/gf?
yes *sigh*
19) what is it about the opposite gender that attracts you?
umm.. next q...?
20) are you an independent person?
not realli...
21)do you like school?
otha than tha studyin bit yes
22) are you stubborn?
i think im passive.. not realli sure
23) believe in God?
sorta...
24)ur favourite sport?
i LOVE most sports ^^ but im REALLI bad at em... -.-"
25) believe in fate?
yes... tho i think that fate can be altered by our actions...
26) get pissed off easily?
on some topics yes....
27) love ur parents?
YES
28) r u a materialistic person?
id like 2 believe taht im not but i prob am...
29) believe in love?
yes but tehn not meant 2 be thinkin bout that now... need 2 study...
even tho im distracted by this...
30) will u get a tattoo?
no dun think ne time soon or eva...
31)smoke?
DEFINATELY NOT
32) club / pub?
neither... i still value mi time at home..
33) wil u forgive ur bf if he cheats on u?
well dun have a bf so dunno if i would... i guess sorta depends on tha person and how i feel at that time...
34)will u expect ur bf to forgive u?
depends on tha matter and type of person...
35) were u on a trip recently?
well america wz quite recent.. tho not THAT recent... but id still call a trip ^^
36)fave country?
Australia... but im bein bit biased...
37) r u impatient?
can be..
39) do u organise parties often
nope not at all... AND im crap at organisin stuff in tha first place...
40)do u hav good friends?
yup ^^ no doubt
41) do u think u r good-looking?
ok.. ne waiz conclusion im not TOTALLI FUGLY or repulsive... tho i wz bak wen i wz younger *shrudderz*
42) do u care about looks?
sometimes... tho i try not 2 judge ppl and i dun realli care bout how ppl look... but i do care if i look like a pain 2 tah eye...
43) do you think that you're a good gf?
um.. neva tried bein 1... so dunno.. and if i did have 1... ask mi bf they'd noe.. not me...
45) do you quarrel with people easily?
depends on tha topic...
46) are you forgiving?
depends on the reason y im annoyed at em... tho ive noticed i get ova somethins surprisinly quickly...
47) do you get hurt easily?
again depends on y... and wat u mean by hurt... as in emotionalli or physicalli.. i do get a lot of injuries and hurt emotionalli..? well depends on how seriously u took somethin and if in a relationship circumstance how much heart u put in..
48) do you prefer gurl wit long/short hair?
umm... wat happened 2 not judgin looks?
49) do u prefer guys wid long/short hair?
ditto bout above... tho sadly i do prefer a guy wit shorter hair than long hair...
50) is ur hair colored?
no jus plain black... tho have some sunstreaks but they're not intentional...
51) are you a romantic partner?
no idea...
52) do you wear a watch??
sometimes.. wen i remember 2 put it on...
53) what kind of clothes do you wear?
...?
54) will you chose love or money?
love ;)
55) do you prefer sleep or eat?
sleep !!!!
56) white or black?
Both.. tho not grey ewwwwww
57) pink or red
pink
58) hate anyone?
try not 2 but some ppl jus plain annoy me...
59) HurT any one?
dun think i have intentionalli... tho i prob have somewhere along tha way of mi life...
60) haTe mosT in Class?
i like most classes.. all cept gnt and ic... hmmm maybe thatz y im failin em...?
61) wHat do yoU think about this?
i wz bored... wat else is there 2 do?

IGSSA

notha week past..
notha w/e worth of sleep ins lost =.=
SO tired..
and apparently mr g want me 2 play in tha orchestra 2moro..
SO doomed
cant play tha piece yet >.<
and dun realli wanna carry a harp round on a mon mornin..
PLUS got physics test 2moro mornin first period..

last week..
had harmony day..
tha assembly wz quite good ^^
i liked watchin it tho tha essays were quite borin..
but good 2 have free dress..
tho i like uniforms coz that way therez less pressure 2 wear somethin nice..
or in fashion...
and there wouldnt be horrible barings of flesh...
but then i still hate our uniforms...
GREEN! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

IGSSA swimming carnival..
well we all noe we came 2nd...
2 penrhos ...
found out that a girl at mi chinese skool goes 2 st marys...
scar came ova afta skool coz then she wouldnt have 2 stay at skool by her self...
went out 2 vn 4 dinner...
started eatin like 5:15 which wz wen we were meant 2 be at skool..
so called up late..
and said we'd meet up at beatty park
wen we got there it wz jus me scar and bec suinerine (how eva spell)
and teachers came...
teacha student ratio ws 2:1 -.-"
wit mr lee and some otha teachas..
then tah ppl on tha bus came...

sat at tha bak of tha stands..
saw arnina...
lol bak row of azns... funny..
ne waiz i found it unfair how mrs gibson made some of tha yr 11s sit at tha front..
and tha yr8s at tha bak...
i mean WAT THA?
and then we were told that we werent allowed stand up coz ppl cant see...
well then y not put tha yr 8 at tha front...?
then they could see and we could stand up and cheer ^^
well scream in mi case...
and high voice by end of nite...
oh and it went bak 2 normal at 12 that nite...

sat..
early mornin chinese skool...
barely past written test 70%...
then spent tha arvo teachin some ppl how 2 dance "IT"
(its tha name of tha dance btw)
gay dance that i wz forced performed last yr...
and 1 that im forced 2 teach this yr..
and doin a diff dance next week..
but im not gonna be there..
i wonder wat its gonna be like..
hopefully better...
coz have 2 choose 1 of tha 2 for performance...

sat evenin..
dia came ova..
tehn went 2 nellie owen and katies bday party..
spent tha whole nite in tah pool..
played 2 games of table tennis..
and truth or dare...
and truthfully there were some interestin dares...
*wink*
and no i didnt do ne of hta dares..
i prefer truth ^^

and 2day..
woke up early..
went wit mi mum swapmeet marketin AGAIN..
and wit mrs tan again...
this time not much buyin of stuff..
then went 2 lunch at some viet resto in mirrabooka
that 1 of tha ladies that works in tha shop recommended...
i guess tha food wz ok..
tho i got sick of it b4 i wz finished..
like u jus had so much that u dun feel like eatin it ne more..
even tho ure still hungry?
heapza either viet or azn ppl in there...
but majority viet obviously...
and like 1 oz guy wit 2 azn ppl...
and went home afta...

and that wz mi w/e..
nothin interestin..
tbo lots 2 rite bout...
hmmm..

ne waiz late...
and im REALLI SLEEPY
nite nite
*hugz*

long w/e

long w/e..
and every1s either got a good life and is havin fun..
or doin their hw.. so doesnt seem 2 be ne 1 online :(
oh well..
but then that is tha sad thing...
tha fact that im online as per usual...
*sigh*

well had dinner on thur nite..
maxy, sheila, yee lian, gar, dia and kat came
and kat, gar and dia slept ova...
and no mona no pix
got 3 hours sleep..
then went 2 tha ct tha next day..
met up wit scar..
walked round...
spent less than an hour in nb...
i found that i quite like taht new game in timezone billy bowl...
but then im so crap at it..
scar and i played in timezone
whilst kat, gar and dia stood round and watched..
AGAIN

update later..
tired now..
nite nite
*hugz*

past week

yayyyyyyyyyy
i dun have 2 take mi physics text book home no more ^^
ive loaded it on 2 tha comp
and no i didtn scan it in2 tha comp...

ne waiz.. random topic of discussion 2day :

we neva want wat we have?

we neva want wat we have...?
and yet wen we lose it then its value suddenly seems so high...
y do we take so many things 4 granted?
i guess i live in 2 much of a wealthy world..
i remember wen i wz lil..
stuff i wanted wz neva allowed coz we didnt have tha money 4 it..
and then therez tha thing were u alwaiz chase afta wat u dun have..
(wait i feel like ive talked bout this b4...)

and i guess sometimes i jus want some1 hug...
and jus feel like i dun need 2 be rushed 2 do 1 thing or another..
2 forget everythin thatz happenin and get lost in time...
*sigh*
(amd this 1 2... oh dun i love 2 repeat miself...?)

and also its been like a week since i last posted...
highlights - tha whole steve thing...
where he wz made redundant due 2 tha skool makin a contract wit some caterin company..
and so tha skool dun hav 2 run both tha dinin hall and tha canteen...
and then students were protestin..
apparently there wz free cake bein given out 2 ppl on tha recess by him on fri...

my grandpa went home...
well its not a highlight its more like a lowlight (if therez such a word)
but i mean its an event 2 talk bout..
an tha nite b4 he left he sorta gave me this lecture on how i cant date till im 25.. and then i can meet guys..
if i realli like 1 i take him home 2 meet tha parents..
and then i can date em..
and i can onli have 1 or 2 bf
then like wen im 28 i marry em
so.. i guess thats sorta mi love life sorted out..
otha than tha guy...

and tha combined skool disco last nite..
it wz ok..
it wz in tha st hildas underground carpark..
quite nice..
tho i sorta broke my bracelet nooooooooooooo
but i sorta fixed it again afta it wz trampled by ppl
coz there wz 2many ppl

it wz sorta a disco/family event..
like outside tha underground carpark on tha oval they had like bouncy castle
and mad cow (i wan anotha go!!!)
and tha disco thing had like half hour sessions...
and we met scarz st hilda friend who she met on tha bus and engineerin camp..
i think?

i hurt all ova now... x.x
my shoulders hurt.. my neck hurt.. my legs hurt.. my arms dun realli hurt...
but ne waiz point is im SO unfit...
AND i havent done so much movement in AGES...

ive gotten mi IC, chem and physics tests bak..
chem i did pretty well im happy coz i fall in between tah grades of a or b..
but IC and physics i barely scraped a pass >.<
must STUDY

4 cadets ive learnt that not realli enough lecturer's available..
so we're gonna do IT AND SURVIVAL ADVANCED 2getha..
which means ill have 2 lecture >.<
oh well
at least i have tha notes 2 it and it'll be practise 4 SNCO, WOFF skool AND CUO course...
and there aint that many ppl in advanced ne waiz so good good

um...
its sorta gettin late so im gonna go sleep...
afta all ive missed out on 3 w/e's worth of sleep ins =o=
nite nite
*hugz*

week long post

well bak 4m choral camp...
and and bout a week (or 2..?) since i last updated...

well it wz mi bday on tha swimmin carnival...
nothin much..
EXTREMELY hot..
tho thank god no work 2 do..
i substituted 4 eve..
coz dia didnt wanna swim and she wz in tha event..
so i jus participated 2 support her..
and so i came last in tha 50m breastroke...
and then came last in tha noodle relay...
and also i had 4gotten mi towel that day
-.-"
but thankfully 4 mona who lent me herz

then tha rest of tha week sorta past...
and had choral camp..
i guess it wz quite alrite..
there wz jade, kathleen, nithya (yay i think i spelt her name rite 4 once on tha first try !!!) an alison..
well there wz also liz, nelly, bec, sarah, helen and tegan
but they were sorta a group of their own...

jade helen and sarah left early..
and 4 tha first time we actualli got thru 3.8 songs in tha 1 camp..
then apparently u could hear mi voice ovall at tha concert ?.?
and there wz onli 2 sop 1s..

ova tha last 3 or so weeks...
ive grown 2 dislike tha blonde techdesk lady more and more...
(i think ive already told some ppl bout this)
i mean 1 fri aftanoon...
it wz round 4..
and tha RC closes at 4 rite?
well instead of jus tellin us that it wz 4 and that we needed 2 go..
she goes and saiz "dont ne of u have ne homes 2 go bak 2?"
in this haughty tone..
i mean dun need 2 be that harsh..
and then..
there wz this arvo where her son wz doin hw in tha RC...
surrounded by these girls..
and they were jus casualli talkin and then tha lady comes along...
grabs her son by tha neck..
and drags him 2 tha next area...
and he falls off tha chair and she KEEPS draggin him..
i mean how MEAN is that?
oh well
shouldnt talk bout other pplz bzness...

eva felt like uve done somethin rong 2 make some1 angry at u?
i dunno y i feel liek that somtimes...
like some ppl seem pissed off at me..
and i jus cant help but wonder wat did rong..
oh well

and eva felt like sayin somethin 2 some1 but just dunno how 2 start?
or that ppl r talk bout u..?
and yet wen u notice they try 2 change subject?
*sigh*

or i could jus be ova reactin 2 everythin..

hmmm...

im realli gettin worried bout mi sista..
and i seriously dunno wat 2 do bout her..
i mean its either me or she suddenly seems OVA self absorbed and materialistic...
AND obssesses bout teachas???
and LOVES showin off wat she owns..

like she took 50 pix of herself coz she wz "bored" !?!?!??!
hallo she wz sittin in a car...

and she takes camera 2 skool and takes pix of TEACHAS!?!?!?!?
and drew pix of her teacha
and WONT STOP TALKIN bout her teacha
and tells me bout HER teacha this and that...
and took pix of her teachaz PASSPORT pic
AND her teacha repeatedly..

AND she takes pix of her DEODERANT!?!?!?!?!?
and her teddy..

i think its either she loves takin pix or she loves her camera 2 much...
but then she doesnt CARE 4 tha camera..
2 her its like wateva
i guess thats her attitude 2 most of her possessions..
coz like tha fact that she believes that dad will buy her a new 1 if it stuffs up..
and yet ppl wonder y we go thru so many items so quickly?
well mi sista doeznt botha carin and let things drop and fall and throw...
and wen i ask her 2 care 4 things i feel SO long winded...

and again im repeatin mi self -.-"

i guess mi sista is mi fave subject coz ive got so much 2 complain bout her lol

well...
happy cny 2 every1..

>.<
i have 5 hours of chem catch up 2 do..
PLUS GnT >.<
oh well..
break 4 now..

tha otha day wen i went 4 tha cosultation wit tha facial/oral surgeon guy...
i wz sittin in tha waitin room..
and i picked up this magazine..
jus flickin thru..
then came across this REALLI disturbin article..

it wz bout parricide..
(tha murder of a mother father or CLOSE relative)
i mean so scary..
and tha article wz mainly focusing on this case of this azn dude..
he wz 19..
and he had a sista who wz 13 (i think...?)
apparently tha family wz quite wealthy..
and afta all this careful plannin he murderd his parents and sista..
i mean how scary..?

and apparently annualli this happens on an average of 12 times..
which is 1 case per month..
and jus imagine it..
some1 u LIVE with could be plottin URE death..

and accordingly tha ppl dun have ne mental issues..
they jus are realli distanced and detached..
and seem 2 show little feeling..

but this azn son jus murdered them..
and pretended like it wz a surprise 2 him for months b4 ppl found out..
and he wz in full mournin and stuff...

and tha most hauntin thing in tha article is that there wz anotha case..
of some white guy...
he murdered his sista mother and lil bro..
coz tha parents WOULDNT LET HIM DRIVE THA FAMILY CAR!!!!
i mean WAT THA?!?!?!?
could DRIVIN A CAR
be worth MORE than ure family's lives!?!?!?!?!?!?
jus tha thought of it makes mi skin crawl...

uh oh..
gettin late..
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

first week of skool...

first week of skoolz finished..
have had most of mi subjects..
and am quite happy..
tho it seemz like hterez heapz of hw..
but its not realli that much..
or it could jus be me...
used 2 gettin away witout doin tha hw..

i wonder..
y do ppl ask "did u miss me?"
i mean wat do they wanna noe?
that we ourselves are lackin such a life
that we're missin em and thinkin of em 24/7?
or that we're so head ova heels that we cant think of ne thin but em?
or wat do they mean by tha actual "MISS"?
yet wen i say i DUN miss em..
they either say im heartless or im lyin....
so wat u want?
an actual lie?
or r u so up of ure self
that ure convincin ure self that im lyin 2 u?
oh well...

ne waiz gettin late...
and mi new yrz resolution wz 2 be asleep by 10 everynite
oh well i broke it...
nite nite
*hugz*

day 3 of skool

3rd day of skool now...
tha teachas i got are ok..
tho not completely happi tho i cant complain
coz some ppl didnt get ne thin they wanted...
turns out that scar chewy and i arent in tha same classes...
oh well
so much 4 hopin 4 tha best..

u noe i wz thinkin 2day...
and i thought...
if ms silberstein say therez tha placebo effect (dunno how 2 spell)
where tha person's heart rate speeds up due 2 tha person thinkin bout it...
and gettin excited therefore increasin tha heart rate...
could some1 by that way convince themselves that they liek some 1?
i mean u could get confused...?
between ure heart rate increasin coz u like that person..
or coz u try and NOTICE whether or not ure heart rate increases..
and there by increasin it?
confusin :S

i realised tha otha day wen i went shopping wit mi mum...
wat i wear is realli gettin more daring...
if u noe wat i mean..?
but them again im not tha 1 doin most of tha choosin..
oh well...

i wonder soemtimes...
how can some ppl go on in their lives not affected by tha way otha ppl talk..?
i mean i can take some..
but i mean i have mi limits...
yet some ppl jus go on by..
or they jus turn it in2 some form of compliment...

g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

BAD DAY

addin 2 tha post on wed...
aust day..
i wz gonna rite more but mi dad wz REALLI annoyed

bein patriotic on aust day is all fine..
but do ppl have 2 turn tha NATIONAL FLAG in2 ITEMS OF CLOTHING?
personalli i find it sorta a form of disrespect
i mean it is tha national flag..
it represents australia..
and ppl turn it in2 clothing..
and jus SIT on it...
*shakez head*

i had tha WORST DAY 2day..
well mi sistaz friend wz goin 2 adventure world
wit friends and family of friends..
and invited her and me..
(plus tha fact that mi mum MADE me go
coz she wz scared taht lina would get lost)
not that i didnt wanna go 2 adventure world
ive neva been..
tho goin wit mi sista and her friends
didnt realli make it seem so appealing as it coulda
but i guess im grateful that they invited me

ne waiz...
all wz goin fine..
then i wz swimmin in tha pool wit this lil girl
who wz tha sista of mi sista's friend's brother's friend
ne waiz
we were swimming..
then she came up and headbutted me in tha jaw..
and since it wz so near mi ear i sorta lost part of mi hearing -.-"
and cos of her age and height...
i missed out on ridin most of tha rides..
coz apparently she wz mi responsibility since i wz tha oldest...
-.-"

tho i did end up ridin tha rampage
and wz scared tha hell outta me...
coz i had jus got outta tha pool b4 i wz still drippin wet...
so wen it wz goin...
i wz slippin and fallin outta tha seat..
and then wen i fell forwards i dunno..
maybe i wz 2 heavy or somethin..
tha safety bar thingy moved forward
and it so freaked me out that i wz gonna fall out...

and then round 2 mi sistaz friend got lost...
so spent tha rest of tha time lookin 4 her..
then i wz late 4 work..
but then turned out that she wz waitin 4 us..
coz she thought we were gonna go on that ride..
but in tha end gave up on waitin in tha line..
and didnt noe that she wz waitin 4 us coz
she had said that she wz gonna go on some ride..
-.-"

so i wz late 4 work...
and mi parents werent home..
i had 2 ask mi sistaz friends mum 2 drop me off at mi house
so i could 2 grab mi clothes 4m mi home
and change at tha resto..
and ended up gettin 2 tha resto
in mi bathers hair out and jus a sarong on
-.-"

and not good since andrew wz workin...
im not sure if i rote bout it..
i jus found out that 1 of tha waiters at mi resto
wz discussin wit his cousin
(whos tha bf of 1 of tha shop's employees who i noe
realli well)
how id react if he (tha waiter) grabbed mi ass
-.-"
and then 2day since i went 2 adventure world..
i got this sunburn (4 tha first time)
on mi face..
and apparently it looked like a blush that wouldnt go away
-.-"
plus plus plus is not good...

and then...
afta i had changed..
i worked tha resto...
i SMASHED 3 glasses..
broke 1 tall glass..
took a menu 2 tha kitchen..
instead of sayin "sorry 2nite tha kitchen is bz"
said "sorry 2nite tha kitchen is bitchin"
cut mi finger...
and a load of otha stuff..
tho cbb mentionin..
plus im sorta runnin outta time..
parents say have 2 turn off SOON

ummm...
went out wit mi sista gar dia and kevin yesterday..
soz scar didnt invite u coz we knew ure still grounded...
originalli it wz gonna be jus me and gar..
but then dia finished her bridgin course jus in time
and wz notified on V LATE notice (15 mins b4 movie start)
we watched alfie..
1 of tha most borin movies...
well in mi opinion tho gar mite have found it interestin
due 2 jude law..
there realli wz no plot 2 tha movie...
tho kevin and lina sittin 2 getha wz a highlite enough
lol

then we ate at sizzlers..
kev and lina sat next 2 each otha again
and played in timezone
well more of me lina and kev played..

and then every1 went home..
and me lina and mum went shopping in westfield..
then bak 2 work that evenin 4 me..

sometimes i wonder..
do i take most things in life 2 seriously..?
like i take jokes 2 seriously..
and i take wat ppl say 2 seriously..

ugh..
g2g
maybe continue thinkin aloud later on...
well not exactly aloud but in written form?
nite nite
*hugz*

aust day

aust day 2day..

stayed at home..
no work coz tha resto wz closed...
tho we ended up goin 2 watch tha fire works..
tho mi dad came late coz he had 2 go buy some stuff...

we arrived at 7..
and sat 4 an hour waitin 4 tha fireworks 2 start..
and while i wz sittin there near tha footpath..
this guy walked past im not sure if he wz sober or drunk
but u noe wat he said?
"its australia day NOT chinese"
i mean im jus slightly offended
but if he wz drunk i guess it wz jus ok..
maybe he didnt noe wat he wz talkin bout in tah first place...
tho if he wz sober...
id be a lil annoyed..
but mostly id sorta pity him
i mean if he realli meant it that way..
i realli feel sorry 4 him
that he didnt think
of tha fact that HE himself ISNT australian...
i mean wat do u have 2 be 2 be considered australian..?
otha than bein borne here wat could he say..?
he WZNT an aboriginal so he cant say his family wz here all along..
so he would jus be as australian as i am..
cept a diff country bakground
ignorant git...

ok
feel much betta
um....
nite nite
*hugz*

annoyed...

dunno..
im not excited that i have 2 go bak 2 skool soon
yet its not like im dreading it...
jus numbness if thats how u can sorta explain it
not realli ne feelin bout it

-.-"
SO annoyed atm..
and some ppl arent helpin at all
bad day of work..
and then ppl who r jus curious..
or love 2 use msn 7 and keep usin tha nudge...
so wen im typin stuff in tagboards
or 4 a post i keep gettin interrupted..
and i think its also how some ppl affect me..
or tha point that i cant stay annoyed at ne 1 4 longer than 20 mins...
or its jus me annoyed at me...
or i could jus conclude pms

ne waiz..
2day...
therez a week left till skool
and how easy is it 2 regret stuff?

and i seriously dunno wat 2 do wit mi sister...
jus tha otha day i caught her tellin some random
which suburb we live in -.-"
or maybe im jus bein paranoid..
oh well
i jus keep tellin her and tellin her..
and now i keep feelin like me mum
i even sound like her sometimes >.<

ne waiz
late
nite nite
*hugz*

Money

money...
*sigh*

i realised recently how much i talk bout it
>.<
and how realli it seems important 2 me i guess...
or not.. ?.?
like how ppl say time is money...
time can sometimes be worth more than money
and with time you can get money..
u could work hard and earn it in time
or win it but all in a matter of time..
but u cant buy time wit money
>.<

i seem 2 waste so much time
and mi parents spend so much of their time 2 get money
and i guess i help 2
but wat 2 do wit so much money..?
u convert such precious time
jus 2 get money
but wat is it worth in tha end?
is that y i keep tryin not 2 spend money...?
i mean i keep talkin bout how little i bought somethin 4
is that y it seems so important 2 me that i save money..?
that its jus time spent converting it 2 money in tha first place..?

its like i wanna get all that time bak..
so i try 2 save money..?
or ...
*sigh*
oh well

time thatz gone cant be retrieved...
yet haunting memories of what was done and wat wznt..
all that could have been changed..
if i had acted differently at that time
and each replay shows a different possibility
a different me..
a different change...
a different ending...
a different everything...
if onli i had done this..
or if onli i hadnt done that..
a variety of wat could have been
yet can no longer be
*sigh*

and then i get flooded with tha empty hollowness...
of great guilt..
like therez no point doin ne thin..
if ure gonna regret it later..
yet i dun think of how by not doin ne thin ill end up regrettin
and i jus seem 2 drift thru time..
second by second..
minute by minute..
hour by hour..
(u prob get tha idea by now)
day by day...
week by week...
yr by yr...
*sigh*

well late
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

y..?

y cant i keep my ... mouth shut?
but then sometimes y cant i tell tha WHOLE truth?
ugh
alwaiz talk in tha rong situations..
maybe i could jus put it as a late new yr's resolution
attempt not 2 speak wen i shouldnt

well last nite wz last nite of freedom..
got work later on..
*sigh*
oh well
but bak 2 talkin 2 more ppl i guess
not that its a bad thing
but then i dun realli like some pplz
plus tha potential of seein some 1 i used 2 noe

well g2g..
finish later

----------------------------------------------
bak 4m resto...

i SERIOUSLY cant teach
ugh..
2 new ppl 2day...
talk bout short of staff atm..
but i guess thatz y we got new ppl in...
seems so awkward..
i mean im used 2 workin wit certain ppl
or i start 2 get used 2 talkin 2 em
but new ppl harder
oh well

i dunno y
i seem 2 jus ignore ppl
wen i first meet em or like not talk much
not more tahn i have 2..
sorta like an uneasiness
i guess its jus easier 2 distance ure self
but then 2 some ppl
i jus meet em and i cant stop talkin
so weird
oh well

nite nite
*hugz*

daiz

well last few days nothin much happening..
well nothin worth ritin bout..
but ill jus rite tha gist..
went 2 sizzler again
but this time wit grandparents..
played at timezone
exchanged tickets 4 a basketball..

and 2day jus went 2 south perth riverside...
me and mi sista rollerbladin
and mi parents ridin..
and then went 2 kings park 4 a ride
then jus a drive round tha ct..

nothin 2 talk bout...
well hope every1z enjoyin their holz
and hope 2 talk 2 u soon

death

*sigh*
wat has this world come 2..?
i mean wit tha whole tsunami incedent..
and then i read in tha paper this arvo..
apparently pplz have gone 2 tah extremes...
stealing jewlery off tha dead corpses...
or cuttin body parts off other ppl 2 get jewelery..

and then dead pplz bodies bein stolen..
so that tha relatives have 2 pay money bak 2 give them a burial..
i mean pplz lost EVERYTHIN in tha disaster..
and now jus 2 give their beloved some nice burial..
they have 2 PAY 2 get tha body bak..!?!?!?

but then y botha ramblin..?
jus read it outta tha paper..
and waste of post realli
and time...

ne waiz
nite nite
*hugz*

well few more hours and new yr..
and i havent realli written in a while...

i spent boxing day evenin lookin at xmas lightin at pplz houses..
then tah next nite i went 2 ms maud's wit mi grandparents 4 a dinner buffet..
tried oysters 4 tha first time...
28th - went 2 garden city 4 shoppin... didnt find a single thing... went 2 sizzlers in innaloo and watched meet the fockers
29th - went wit mi dad to do deliveries to some pizza place in applecross and then ate pizza near tha foreshore somewhere in applecross and rented out movies
30th - went shopping for books with mi piano teacha
(weird huh? well mi mum arranged it) then watched movies at nite
tonite - went 2 cott beach and sat round... ate pizza then went home.. watched movies..

and thats mi last few days and 2nite..
nothin much happenin..
but at least im spendin more time than usual wit mi dad...

g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

yet anotha xmas

merry xmas every1!!

okz its xmas...
and outside it wz 35 degrees 2day..
and it even rained..

well recount on mi xmas 4 this yr...

last nite (xmas eve)
had xmas dinner at mi grandparents house..
wit all tha family..
except some who couldnt come...
we ended up comin 2 and a half hours late...
but at least we arrived b4 ne 1 had left...
which wz good

um..
then we decided 2 go and see some of tha xmas lightin..
tha 1z tha were in tha paper..
ne waiz..
by tha time we got there
(1 of tha randomly picked addresses 4m tha paper)
we were disappointed 2 see they were already off..
(but then it wz 12 am)
and then wen i finalli got 2 sleep..
wz 2 am ...
got woken up at 5:30 am this mornin by mi sista..
(who stayed awake all thru tha nite)
we went 2 tha beach
came home...
had a nice undisturbed sleep again
then went rollerbladin at tha foreshore..
whilst mi parents were ridin bikes..
and then went 2 kings park..
and just had pizza 4 dinner..
all in all it wz nice 2 have a day off..
and time wit tha family...

well i g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

ugh...
jus got bak 4m work...
and i dunno...
in some random mood that is half way between stressed and pissed off...
tho i think afta a while it should disappear...
so this post mainly a pissed off ramble so dun read if u dun wanna noe..

but itz jus work realli i think..
work at tha resto...
tha western pplz who come in and eat...
wen we set tha tables
we give em a fork a spoon and a set of chopsticks and a serviette..
tha fork and spoon are there 4 a reason..
wen they order ne dish but they DUN noe how 2 use chopsticks..
tha fork and spoon are provided 4 em
coz we not expectin em 2 noe how 2 use tha chopsticks...
BUT some pplz jus 2 sure of themselvez..
and decide 2 use chopsticks 2 eat tha rice..
WHICH is served on a PLATE
so they end up gettin tha rice ALL OVER tha table
and fine if u clean it up ureself...
BUT NO most of em jus leave it there
and we do clean up tha dishes and that afta them..
but wit tah rice all ova tha table itz MORE work !!
not that THAT lazy..
BUT it getz annoyin wen tha WHOLE RESTO is bz..
and therez pplz comin in non stop..
and then havin 2 clean up rice and stuff wen pplz are waitin..
itz jus hard 2 do wit all tha pplz...

AND THEN...
therez tha whole thing where pplz..
OUR RESTO is a SMALL area...
we have VERI LITTLE space...
so PLZ MOVE wen we TRY 2 walk past...
WE ARE NOT ALL STICK THIN

AND THEN...
therez tha whole starin thing happenin again..
this time...
it wz afta i lifted anotha 2 chairs...
i mean WAT is rong wit me bein able 2 lift chairs ova mi head..?
tha customers give me lookz as if ive grown 3 heads or somethin -.-"
and then therez all those whispers i hear...

AND THEN...
whilst i wz liftin a chair..
nearli speared chichi wit a chair leg..
she came racing in ...
and she touched mi bak ..
and i got so freaked out that i nearly speared her wit tha chair leg...

and 2 day i saw this guy...
OMFG he wz SO bloody TALL..
i mean i wz wearin heels..
but he HAD 2 be at least 1 metre taller than me..
i swear..
and he wz round mi height wen he sat down
-.-"
iznt it nice 2 be reminded that ure short..?

ugh..
gettin late..
finish ritin later...
nite nite
*hugz*

new poem blog

well..
ive made a start on that poem blog thingy that i said id do last nite...
tha bakground of tha template is tha 1 that gar used 4 her dp i think..
and i couldnt realli find ne nice blogskins...
so ill stick wit that 1 4 now..
coz i g2g out 2 work soon...
im not sure if ill onli rite poems in there...
depends on how much time i have...
and also if i find an inspiration 4 a poem
or story or a composition of ne kind...

Oh and wen u go 2 tha site it onli shows tha blog body..
but if u wanna comment i have a tagboard...
but u have 2 click on tha word "tagboard" 2 see it..
and same wit tha word "blog" and "info"
well
g2g

i mite rite more later 2nite if i can think of ne thin 2 rite...
bye
*hugz*

new template

well new template...
not realli enough space in tha side bar thingy
2 put in tha quotes or tha idioms and metaphors thingy...
and i doubt u read em ne waiz...
so..
jus leave em out...
i mite put tha happeninz bak in tho i doubt i need that 2..
jus see if i can be bothad..

um...
2day nothin...
jus work again..
kim didnt come 2 tha resto... dunno y..
um...
i got tha boostrix injection at last..
and i soon realised that i had mi hep b wen i wz lil..
coz i thought i had missed em

and pplz...
seemz like no 1 otha than me iz updatin..
oh wellz...
wat can i say...?
otha than me most of u are either :
(a)ova seaz
(b)2 bz
(c)neva online
(d)cant be bothad...
if u pplz did update tho at least thered b somethin4 me 2 do on tha net which is interestin 2 read...
oh wellz
ure choice wen u update..

wat else 2 talk bout 2 pass time...?
nothin...
coz nothin happenz..
maybe ill jus start a poem blog like mona..
somethin 2 rite bout then..
or attempt 2 i guezz...
ill do that 2moro i think...
or wen eva i have tha time..

ne waiz gettin late
i g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

anotha day has gone...
*sigh*
nothin 2 do...
and linaz bored enough goin round and readin mi blog...
so hi lina if ure readin this...

um...
i found tha minin camp certificate thingy 2day..
and thinkin bak it wz SO long ago >.<

and new yrz approaching...
so wat will tha new yr bring..?
new challenges...
new studies..
MORE studies 2 >.<
MORE work
1 more yr of knowledge..
MORE expectations to fulfill
MORE AND MORE...
>.<
and wit somethings less and less...

*sigh*
i think ill do a yr review later on..
cbb now

>.<
parents annoyed...
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

ice skatin

went ice skatin 2 day ^^
and for tha first time
NO FALLZ !!!
ah so happi..
i mean it wz somethin 2 do..
but saddenin still coz there wz no 1 there i knew otha than mi sista...
and her friend -.-"
but somethin 2 do outside tha house so fun ^^
altho i wz a total loner >.<

i g2g get ready 2 go out 2 work
maybe rite later
*hugz*

work

well...
a nice day of work 2day...
-.-"
there wz anotha joke bout aaranged marriage...
and then there wz tha randomz on tha street that said hi 2 me...
*rollz eyez*
um...
went shoppin 2 day 4 once...
bought nothin realli...
i bought a dvd of mean girls 4 mi sista as her xmas present...
and since i went out shoppin in a black skirt and spag top..
and wen we got bak home it wz time 4 work i had 2 work like that
-.-"

so hard 2 waitress in a skirt...
hopefulli dun have 2 do that again...

umm.. wat else..?

goin iceskatin 2moro..
wit mi sistaz friendz and mi sista -.-"
oh wellz
somethin 2 do

hmm...
i jus realised tha majority of tha friendz ive met a chinese skoolz ive been 2 r guyz...
or like hta pplz i feel closest 2 are guyz...
well in yr 1-3 i didnt realli noe tha pplz...
and afta that i got 2 noe this guy..
and we spent recesses 2getha..
then i change chinese skool..
then i went 2 tha 1 near dalkeith...
total loner..
then just got 2 noe this guy...
then change skool again..
and then loner 4 AGEZ...
then got 2 noe this girl...
then she left..
then got 2 noe this guy...
and this otha guy..
and then 1 of tha guyz left chinese...
and yah...
thatz tha gist...
of mi life as tha antisocial person at chinese...

i guezz thatz jus tha story of tha evenin...
gettin late and me got a throbbin headache >.<
nite nite
*hugz*

well these daiz still nothin 2 rite bout..
so i dun post that often ne morez...

mi mum rote up a time table 4 us 2 follow..
so life is beginnin 2 seem like skool again
wit time restrictions and tha whole repitition of wat 2 do...
herez tha time table:
(since i dun realli have ne thin 2 talk bout)

9am - get up
10:30am - readin or ritin
12:30pm - lunch
1:30pm - clean up round tha house
3:00pm - rest
4:30pm - aftanoon tea
5pm - go out 4 work
then round 8-10 come home...
then online till tha latest which is 11pm.. and sleep

work is like practicalli tha main event of event of tha day these daiz..
i mean 4 once itz actualli startin 2 get interestin...
like therez more staff that mi dad has employed then there used 2 be...
and so more variety of pplz..
and it wz close 2 more like jus a time 2 meet pplz...
and get 2 noe em...
but then realli ive onli worked wit 3 diff pplz in tha last 3 daiz..
andrew... tha playboi of tha resto...
humphery... tha interlectual whoze mum keepz tellin him hez stupid
and kim... well 4 her shez jus nicknamed "tha bitchy lady" by chewy...
and i mean im startin 2 like kim more than i used 2..
coz b4 she wz alwaiz DEAD serious bout everythin..
but now i guezz wit andrew and humphery workin
there seemz 2 be less tension between tha rest of tha staff...

wit tha work...
nothin realli...
um...
i had a total of $4.70 tip 2 day...
and sadly that wz mi highlite 4 tha day..
so i guezz it shows how bored i am dun it..?

there wz this azn guy at tha resto 2 nite...
and wen he came in they needed anotha chair 4 tha table..
and i couldnt get thru coz tha resto wz packed...
so i lifted tha chair above mi head and carried ova 2 their table...
he jus stared at me and then he asked "do u work out heapz?"
-.-"
i mean seriously...
wat am i ..? some bloody weakling..?
do us girls have 2 work out jus 2 be strong enough lift a bloody chair..
or r we so frail that we have 2 stay at home and jus sew ?!?!??!?!?!?!?!
or im just takin that comment 2 seriously..
also some random azn dude wz eyeballin me again at tha resto 2 day...
*rollz eyez*

and some pplz jus dun get a hint of wen 2 leave...
i mean i wz closin tha doorz and all they did wz stare at me and continued talkin
and then i gave em tha bill..
and they jus kept talkin..
-.-"
oh wellz

well i sorta ran outta stuff 2 talk bout..
and im startin 2 get tired so yah..
nite nite
*hugz*

regret...
wen thoughts wonder...
sometiemz it jus comes across tha things that have happened in tha past...
and sometimes all i can do is regret...
regret 4 things i have done..
and somethins which i which i should have done...
or tried 2 do...
*sigh*

ne waiz..
nothinz happend realli..
this week ive gone 2 tha ct 3 timez..
once wit jus gar..
once wit jus scar..
and once wit gar, kat, chewy, jade and some 1 else... cant reamember >.<
(soz if its u i dun mean 2 4get... jus cant think atm) or maybe that wz jus it...

umm...
jade came 2 mi house b4 tha speech nite..
and we found out that our rest iz in tha TOP 5 take away places in WA !!! ^^
ummm..
wat else..?
nothin realli happend..
got full attendance 4 chinese..
(realli saddenin award realli..
all i got wz this dodgy pen that has this pull out map of taiwan on it)

oh..
g2g
parents callin >.<
nite nite
*hugz*

okz i owe every1 a nice LONG post..
but personalli cant be stuffed ne more these daiz..
dunno y im jus not in tha mood of bloggin recently realli...
but herez a post i rote earlier in tha day...

okz im typin this in notepad atm...
coz im not allowed on tha net..
ne waiz..pplz dun have 2 read this coz itz gonna be a jumble of complaints mainly...
since this is a form of stress realease okz..?

atm in big pissed off mood at mi sista...(again)
maybe itz jus that fact that mi sista getz SO many exeptions...
and tha lack of freedom in mi part..
i mean im stuck wit responsibility 4 her..
and i miself cant go ne where wit out her..
OR
do ne thin wit out her buttin in and wen she findz me doin somethin SHE wantz 2 do it as well..

and i mean wen pplz say every 1 iz special and individual in their own way..
well seems like i have no individuality at ALL
itz like lina jus believes that we're 1 person..
or a set of twins...
EVERYTHING i DO she has 2 do...
EVERYTHING i HAVE she has 2 have...
and wen onli i have that thing...
she'll take it off me wen i dunno and it annoys me that wen i need it i cant find it..
and in a few daiz find it in her room -.-"

see perfect example..
she jus came in and asked wat i wz doin..
i said i wz typin a post in notepad so i could post it later..
and jus then she goez and saiz "im doin that TOO"
agggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i jus wanna scream and throw things..
but no i cant do that coz then mi parents'll think im thowin some temper tantrum 4 no reason...
and then wen i tell em tha whole reason it'll jus end up as some discussion between mi parents later on at nite"oh adela doeznt noe how 2 share things"
or "oh adela wont let her sista learn new things"
HOW DOES COPYING ME ALLOW 4 MI SISTA 2 LEARN!?!?!??!

so
im left wit just silently seething bottled up madness
and i guezz tha onli thing i can do iz rite it out..
but i mean i noe there are otha waiz of stress relievin...
i mean i find it quite soothing jus 2 play tha piano or some instruments..
but then half way thru
mi sista jus comes in and saiz "oh i need 2 practise TOOOOOOOOOOO"
and i say "no coz im practising atm"
and mi sista goez 2 mum (or calls her on tha fone)
and soon i hear mi mumz voice goin
"adela get off the piano and let ure sista practise"or something of that sort...

and then i try just turnin music on and upcept i cant wit out turnin tha comp on..and so lina decides to and turns on tha net and talks 2 her friends..
(she has her own cd player >.<)
and i get told off 4 lettin mi sista go on tha net...
and wit tha ban...
itz drivin me crazy..
coz mi parents are tellin me 2 disable it on her comp so that she doeznt use tha net..
cept wen i do..
she getz pissed at me 4 it..and mi parents get pissed at me if she enable it..
so i get stuck in tha middle of everything...

and ive practicalli been actin mum AND sister 4 mi sista all mi life come 2 think of it..
and itz jus realli gettin 2 me...
i mean like i have 2 be her sista and sorta her mother at tha same time...
and i find as if i cant be silly once in a while..
or jus have fun..
everythin jus seemz like it has 2 be serious...
and not laugh...
maybe thatz y seem 2 treasure tha times that im outta tha house..
itz like as if itz a place where everythin seemz so uptight..
maybe thatz y i have so many sides...
i mean i had a realli nice time yesterday..
like i felt like 4 once i could jus be carefree...
and laugh and have fun afta chinese skool..
and PLUZ mi sista wznt thereand it felt as if there wz a load taken off me..as if i had no job at all..
nothin i had 2 worry bout...

=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

okz..
afta that nice random ritin...
im feelin much betta...

i feel like a mum -.-"

possession

i past tha audition 2 go 2 tha music tour !!! ^^

jus got bak 4m tha resto...
and i have realised i cant teach...
not that i believed i could in tha first place...
jus that it has been evidently supported now..
well ne waiz..
spent round 3-4 hours in tha ct 2day...
and wen i got home i wz told 2 help out at tha resto 2nite coz therez a new person...
so i wz given tha job of teachin him...
-.-"
it wz okz..
but it felt random tryin 2 teach some1 older than u..
well jus 1 yr older...
he wz 1 of tha employee's son..
so yah..
and his name iz humphery (i dunno y i dun like that name)...
and it felt so awkward...
so i sorta jus didnt say ne thin..
and tha lady (nown 2 chewy as "that bitchy lady")
sorta tried 2 teach him..
and i sorta jus sorta taught by example...
if u can say that...
he jus watch as i did work...
i sorta didnt say much...
so.. i conclude im not a teacher..
i jus sorta lead by example..

and i wz sittin in commerce tha otha day..
playing gamez...
and listenin 2 music..
and a thought sorta hit me...

tha word possession....
do we as humans all strive 4 it...?
i mean we want 2 possess things..
2 own them..
and wen itz in our reach it sorta loses its value...
i dunno y..

and i guess its also tru wit pplz i guess..
like some pplz liek 2 play hard 2 get...
and i guess it sorta seemz 2 raise their "value"...
if u sorta noe wat i mean (i dun seem 2 be makin sense 2 miself -.-")
like u put more effort in..
tha more valueable it seemz...
tho sometiems it realli doeznt seem worht it afta some time has past..
and a new target is set i guezz...

ne waiz....
itz gettin late..
i betta go 2 sleep
nite nite
*hugz*

Happi bday alex !!!
tho i noe he dun read this...
but hey.. it makez me feel good 2 say it ^^
less guilt 4 not gettin him ne thin or sayin ne thin...
tho i dunno how id give it 2 him...

and on tha same note...

Happi bday gar!!!
well 4 2moro that iz...

hmm...
im startin 2 worry bout mi mum and mi daughter motha relationship...
i mean in tha time frame of half an hour...
mi mum and i rose our voices at each otha of a total of 7 timez...
>.<
i mean and that wz at peppermint grove...
and pplz were starin at us -.-"
coz we were shout in at each otha in canto
and apparently accordin 2 lina..
tah guy standin behind me wz laughin
-.-"
watz so funny bout an argument between motha and daughter...?!?!?!?

i guezz life at home is gettin more and more tense...
like there alwaiz seemz 2 be some form of tension..
either between me and mi sista..
or me and mum..
or mum and lina...
or all 3 at tha same time...
thing we can blame it on is hormonal imbalances i guezz....
not good >.<

tired..
gonna go sleep..
nite nite
*hugz*

S+E

cant be bothered searchin bout vietnam again...
but itz due 2day...
>.<
oh wellz...

i have mrs hardy as well...
well maybe she dunno that she has 2 collect it...
coz she said we're supposed 2 be do researchin bout terrorism..!?!??!?!
meh...

and tha lady at tha tech desk refuses 2 give us head fones...
AGAIN
so we playin music out loud...
and mrs hardy wont allow...
so we've found a limit 2 her hearin...
so she cant hear it but we can ^^

i cant get ova tha launch 2day!!!
im so proud
it actualli flew!!!
lolz... coz afta 10 attempts of tryin 2 launch it with no avail...
i thought tha engine wz stuffed like dia said...
but it launched !!!
yay

oh well betta get bak 2 work...
update later 2nite

.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~. l8r on at home.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.

home...
nothin 2 talk bout...
but i guezz have anotha performance 2 practise 4 now
>.<
ummm...
wat else?
spent agez on tha net so cant realli be bothaed 2 think up somehtin 2 rite...

ummm..
dun realli have a topic 2 talk bout..
and no opinion
-.-"
so prob gonna end up as random ramblins...


r we goin out this w/e or not??

if we do...
then wat we gonna do?
since we're gonna spend tue wonderin round tha ct
wat we gonna do this sat...?
or sun?
which 1????
sat or sun!?!?!??!

ne waiz...
gettin late
nite nite
*hugz*

truths...

>.<
i dunno y...
wen i talk 2 pplz...
or wen i try 2 tell em stuff...
2 some pplz i tell tah WHOLE truth..
2 some i tell part truths...
2 some i tell mixed truths wit a lil lie..
and sometimez i jus lie out rite...
*sigh*

but then i sometimez think bout wat ive said 2 diff pplz...

and i feel guilty 4 not tellin everythin...

and tehn later...
wen i wanna clear thingz up...
and tell tha whole truth..
it sometimez endz up like im repeatin mi self...
which i do a lot of tha time
-.-"

well 2day wz a good day i guezz...
dispite tha fact that i had french and wz REALLI tired...
practically a realli easy goin day...
and then had mass choir rehersals afta...
and i wz dizzy and headachey AND had a sore throat afta
>.<

gettin late
nite nite
*hugz*

commerce...

in commerce wit a free period ^^
but dunno wat 2 do..
so make up 4 mi daiz of not ritin wit anotha post..
even tho i bearly have ne thin 2 rite about..
it takes mi mind off things wen i blog sometimez...

>.<
i feel like goin out some where...
ANYWHERE...

.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~. l8r on at home.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.

jus come home afta cadets...
yet again im gonna get outta grad parade ^^
hehe..
i already put in leave so dun have 2 go...
so free next fri afta mass choir rehersal !!!!

there wz a new girl who came 2 cadets 2nite..
funnily enough she bought tha lil doll imitation of a real baby...
u noe those that cry if itz hungry..
and if u abuse em...
and well coz i went on sick...
i helped look afta tha baby..
ure not meant 2 let itz head go bak...
and in total i let his head fall bak 4 timez...
spanked it once unintentionalli...
lolz..
and tha funni thing wz of all nitez..
it had 2 be 2nite..
grad parade practise...
so yah...
we were forced 2 watch...
yet every so often tha silence wz broken by tha babyz wailin..
1 thingz 4 sure...
i aint gonna have a baby 4 AGEZ..
i mean it wz SO much work...
>.<

hmm..
next yr speech nite is on tha same day as tha last day of skool..
i wonder if we get 2 go home early then...?

sleep time...
nite nite
*hugz*

detached

sometimez i wonder...
is it that some pplz closed out 2 me..
or do i miself seem cold and shut pplz out and avoid em..?
i dunno y...
it seemz both waiz sometimez...
i dunno
i jus feel detached...
oh wellz...

dun realli feel like bloggin these daiz...
*hugz*
nite nite

kz..
1/3 typin this
1/3 playin tha commerce game we made and
listenin 2 music at tha same time
-.-"
in debt 4 tha game again..
now itz like up to $95 in debt...
hope it doeznt get as bad as last time wit $565...
oh wellz...

kz..
mi week...
well..
last thur...
cant remember
last fri..
had choir...
then skool ( had 4 substitues 4 tha 5 periodz i had in1 day
-.-" do mi teachaz hate me that much..?)
then cadetz...

then sat..
chinese skool..
mi sista got 2 skip due 2 her wantin 2 avoid tha poem recitin comp and her chinese test...
so she went out 2 wit her friendz...
i had chinese....
wz forced 2 participate in tah poem recitin thingy..
since each class needed 4 representatives and in our class there wz onli 4 pplz there on that day
since our teacha and 3 of tha pplz had exams 4 uni...
i recited tha poem...
and came equal 3rd -.-"
there wz like 1st (some lil 11 yr old girl)
2nd and 3rd there were 3 pplz...

end of class finish later....

.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~. l8r on at home.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.

and then afta chinese...
went 2 tha ct and harbour town wit mi mum...
she wz lookin 4 a new bag...
but couldnt find tha rite 1...
afta bout 3 hourz searchin she found tha perfect 1 in harbour town..
we kept browsin round...
tehn went home..

then wen we got home..
we realised that i must have accidentalli lost it in 1 of tha shopz..
since i wz in charge of holdin tha bagz and everythin else...
so mum wz pissed off at me..

then went bak 2 harbour town on sun..
went bag searchin till we found it again..
spent aht rest of tha day in harbour town...

and then spent tha rest of tha nite doin mi english assignment...
and nothinz realli happend 2day...

>.<
i still cant get ova tha fact that mi mum told me...
that she wouldnt mind wat path or occupation i choose..
as long as im happy...
but thinkin bout it..
it jus makez me think of how i wished she said it earlier..
i mean then i would maybe able 2 make a different decision...
oh wellz...
i mean i grew up bein told that they wanted me 2 be a doctor..
and since i wz round aged 2 or 3 i sorta grew up wit that as mi goal since i wz lil..
well actualli..
it wz more of doin it 2 make mi parentz happi..
and then since thatz wat they wanted 4 me..
id wanted to go 2 that occupation..
but now afta tha otha day..
i dunno wat 2 think..
like should i jus go on wit wat i sorta have half chosen or find somethin else..
it sometimez makez me feel like itz 2 late 2 change..
i dunno y..

regret..
haz ne 1 realli regretted ne thin they've done in their lives so far...?
i mean i spend time thinkin bout wat ive done so far..
and i think bout it and i regrett...
4 not doin somethingz...
4 not seizin tha opportunitiez..
and sometimez i jus regret doin some thingz...
it goez both waiz i guezz...
itz like tha chance of either regret doin somethin outta curiosity..
and then not doin somethingz outta fear..
and sometimez u think bak and there may not be that same opporutinity eva again...
*sigh*
oh wellz..

somethin i found out on sat...
mi mum readz mi sistaz diariez..
which meanz therez a possibility she goez thru mi thingz as well..
tho i have nothin 2 hide thankfully..
mi sista on tha otha hand..
i worry bout her...
and i guezz given tha circumstances..
i understand and it seemz reasonable 4 mi mum 2 read thru mi sistaz diary and look thru her stuff..
coz shez such a closed in person..
i dunno y..
but i feel like therez a total barrier between mi sista and tha rest of tha family..
itz like as if shez alienated herself..
and wen i talk 2 her...
i jus have this realli uncomfortable feelin..
and wen i go in2 her room..
again she closes me out and wen she closes tah door 2 her room..
itz like she closes tha whole family out..
i mean i can also understand how her friendz mite out weigh her family in importance 2 her at this stage...
but there is no reason y she wont talk 2 us bout ne thin of her frienshipz or skool or nethin in general...
oh wellz
hope she get ova it soon
*sigh*

and tha second thing...
mi mum asked me wat tha word "hump" means..
-.-"
and u noe where she read it 4m..?
4m mi sistaz diary...
SERIOUSLY i have no comment..
and then i asked her in return in wat sentence did she read it 4m..
and tha sentence wz " I will HUMP him!"
i mean wat tha?!?!?!?
it makez me wonder wat it wz all bout..
but then i aint gonna go as low as mi sista...
goin thru pplz stuff coz she wz bored..
>.<

i had tha best moment 2day...
i mean it wz afta skool...
and i wz at corylynne...
lyin in tha grassed shady area starin up at tha cloudz..
with a slight breeze...
and it felt like i hadn't a care in tha world..
i jus love those momentz...
i mean just 2 stop ure life and just rest..
and reflect ova watz happend lately...
2 bad not htat many pplz there..
jus felt like talkin 2 some 1 2
>.<
oh wellz

i g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

S+E

in s+e atm...
maybe scar iz rite..
im neva doin tha thing im meant 2 be doin or at tha place im meant 2 be....
i mean seriously...
yet again im listenin 2 music...
and typin away at mi blog instead of actualli researchin "Nam"
i mean i should be a lil interested in tha viet war..
as that iz 1 of tha reasons im actualli here in tha first place...
but i cant be stuffed sortin thru all taht info thatz available on tah net or in bookz...

ugh...
ms fletcher is FULLY supervisin us..
i mean she walkz round and starez and readz watz on each screen...
funnily enough...
wen she wz doin tha roll...
she had me down as away on peer support work...?!?!?!?!?
but im not a peer support leader..
so y...????
oh wellz...

i dunno y some pplz seem 2 annoy me so...
i mean i dun wanna talk bout it or think bout it..
but some pplz DO annoy me...
and itz funny how sometimez i can trust tha strangest pplz...
even if i wouldnt actualli normalli trust them...
wait..
i think i talked bout that a while ago..
cant remember tho..
yet it alwaiz feelz like im repeatin miself all tah time..
and most of tha time itz tru -.-"
soon thiz blog'll be SO borin....
wait...
it already iz...
oh wellz..
some way 4 me jus 2 rite out most of mi thoughtz...

tha teacha iz realli buggin me atm >.<
itz like some random alwaiz tryin 2 find out wat ure doin..
coz i keep seein her at tha corner of mi eye and itz realli freakin me out...

im lookin thru galleriez of pix 4m tha viet war..
itz realli freakin me out..
i mean they had pix of lil boiz out there actin like soldierz..
it scarez me now...
like wat if that wz wat happend 2 1 of mi parentz...???
*shrudderz*
some pix are jus 2 much 2 bear..
i mean realli..
y are there warz...?
is tha consequence of a war realli a worth payin for what tha pplz wanted...???
oh wellz..
itz already ova...

nearly time 4 mathz >.<
i dun wanna do mathz...
i dunno y i dun wanna do ne more skool..
itz like i jus wanna give up on everythin...
just 4get bout education and jus drift along in life

english...

in english

i didnt noe that andrew worked at our resto...!?!?!?!?!?
and he drivez..?
and i alwaiz thought he wz younger than me
-.-"
oh wellz...

ne waiz...
i wz in french b4...
and realised i have 30 cousins and 1 "nephew"
-.-"
how big is mi family...?
and i have no idea how many second couz i have...
*shrudderz*
scarez me that thought realli...
end of class...
maybe type more later

,.-~^*^~-.,.-~^*^~-.,.-~^*^~-. later @ home.-~^*^~-.,.-~^*^~-.,.-~^*^~-.,

-.-"
cant be stuffed thinkin up somethin 2 rite...
i opend this page up like 2 hourz ago..
and went off 2 read....
so ya..
havnet typed ne thin..
ne waiz
nite nite
*hugz*

crappy daiz gettin worse and worse...

-.-"
me in realli BAD mood atm..

okz...
well mi week so far...

well thur - i cant remember...

fri - well i had skool then cadetz... think mi cold got worse... wz loner all nite >.<

sat - well obviously yesterday wz our lovely outin 2 watch bjd2 ^^...
all in all i guezz it worked out quite well
tho i had 2 leave chinese early which i used as a bribe 4 mi sista..
had lunch at oriental inn...
walked round nb...
then watch movie... then went home...

and 2day...
it wz a pretty bad day..
tho i guezz couldnt be that bad compared 2 some pplz...
well i woke up round 10...
did mathz catchup 4 tha time i missed out durin mi trip ova seaz...
got a headache 4m that...
and still didnt get a word of it (i got mathz test 2moro)
then wz told i had bout 10 minz b4 i had 2 work at tha resto...
since one of tha employeez wz gonna be late...
so i went out and helped...
mi mum promised me that i'd be home by 8...

continued workin...
then had thiz pair of guyz apparently watch me most of tha nite...
*shrudderz*
like im not sure if ne 1z had that feelin where u feel as if they're alwaiz beein watched...
then tha LONG winded man came in 4 dinna...
-.-"
which meanz he TALKED so much..
i mean it... but of ALL nitez it had 2 be 2nite -.-"
i tried avoidin his table 2 avoid listenin 2 him talk...
and had 2 serve this otha table..
turned out it wz of tah table of 3 wit 2 guyz that were starin at me -.-"

and then 1 of tha guyz started battin his eyelashes..
and i wz like WAT THA?!?!?!?!
left 2 get more dishez...
then 1 of them asked me " watz that red thing on ure face?"
-.-"
how bout somethin called a cheek..? or a pimple? or an insectbite...?
went of again...
walked past...
and tha otha guy asks me "u seem bz need ne help?"
funnily enough... onli half tha resto wz full...
tha employee that wz gonna be late didnt end up comin...
and didnt even call 2 say she couldnt come...
so i kept workin...

then i cleared tha table 4 tha pplz...
and 1 of tah guyz askz mi 4 mi name...
me thinkin it wz pretty normal jus answered wit mi name..
then tha guy next 2 him asked 4 mi phone number...
-.-"
halloz!?!??! couldnt they see i wz younger than em...!?!?!?!
they were like in their 20z..
and NO i didnt give em mi number...

and then later on on top of all that...
i jus found out that i have a new baby couz AGAIN...
im not sure if i should be happy...
or sad that im LAST 2 noe again
>.<

sometimez i wonder...
y do pplz seek 4 wat they dun have..?
i mean cant pplz jus be happi wit wat they have..?
but then i guezz if ure not satisfied wit wat u have it givez u motivation..
2 go and seek and gain wat u want...
but then therez tha failure..
and wen that doez happen...
it jus makez pplz so depressed...
oh wellz..

itz gettin late..
betta go sleep..
nite nite
*hugz*

home again..

well..
linaz at her dance comp thingy...
good luck 2 her...

hmmm...
u noe 2day mi dad wz meant 2 get a new car 2 replace his old 1 which is like fallin apart....
and he sold tha maxi taxi van a while ago... *sob*
so yah... he wz meant 2 get a new car...
so that he can actualli do some of tha deliveries 4 tha shop..
but guess wat...?!?!?!?
instead... mi grandparents decide they want tha car instead...
-.-"

so wat does mi dad do?
he GIVES tha car 2 mi grandparents...
i mean itz rite and all..
but WAT will mi dad do now...?
still go drivin round in his old tatterd car which is like a road risk...?
and itz not like mi grandparents dun have a car...
cept itz not suitable 2 do tha deliveriez in...
i mean how good is mi dad...?
he jus gives up his new car and keepz drivin tha 1 he has...
which i think is like a hazard coz like bits are fallin off tha car...
*sigh*

but then cant realli change mi dadz mind...
since i dun have a say in ne of this..
oh wellz...
sometimez i wonder if there could be ne 1 nicer than mi dad...
i mean 2 our family hez like perfect son... perfect husband... perfect father...
wat else...?
hmm... dunno bout bro tho...
but then he usualli has otha pplz interests firsts...
i love mi dad ^^

hmm...
i wonder...
do pplz change or do they stay tha same all tha way thru their life...?
i mean obviously therez tha physical change...
and then learnin 4m mistakes i guezz...

doez EVERYTHIN come in pairs...?
i mean think bout it..
pairz could be total opposites or fit 2getha...
i mean wit love therez hate...
male and female obviously...
then black and white...
and with sadness there is happiness...
for the elderly there are the youthful...
there are tall and short pplz...
tha list could go on and on...

but jus coz there are differences...
are there times wen thingz go 2 far..?
like how therez discrimination...
and racism..
and sexism... (discrimination of gender)
and homophobia...
u sometimez hear bout em..
but then do they go 2 far sometimez...
i mean if itz a protest and everythin 4 human rites and stuff..
but do pplz sometimez go ova tha top bout it...?

i mean 4 eg. wit feminism...
girlz can blame and say that they are bein sexist...
jus coz itz not goin tha rite way 4 em...

and 4 eg. racism...
some1 in class could easily say that tha teacha iz racist jus coz they got a low mark...
i mean sometimez tha cases maybe tru..
but in some otha cases...
r pplz abusin tha fact that there are such reasons...?

like wen u go 2 a lil playground...
and u hear kids playin..
u can sometimez ovahear tha ova used term "bully"
i mean a simple joke and act of takin a child's hat could result in cries of " give it bak u bully!"
they've been taught about bullying...
yet...
wat is bullying..?
it is wen a person who KEEPS doing or saying things to have power ova another person
so..? it is ova used..
could all the forms of prejudice be used in this same way..?

i mean all these thingz go under prejudice...
and wat is prejudice but a baised point of view of individual, group, race or class?
but then wit bein against prejudice...
are u ureself not bein exertin ure own pov against pplz who are prejudice...
wen they are doin exactly tha same...?
itz sorta hypocrisy i guezz...
but then bein against tha prejudice...
would u be generalising a group in particular...?

am i gettin 2 tired...
coz it soundz like im randomly ramblin on bout random stuff (again!!!)...
-_-"

oh wellz i betta go sleep...
nite nite
*hugz*

english...

in english atm...
15 minz left of class 4 tha day....
cbb researchin ne morez...
mite as well type a quick post...

yesterday..
had tae bo 4 pe..
and now mi arms kill like hell wen i straighten em out >.<
nm otha than that..
cant remember ne thin...

2day..
nothin either..
got up earli 4 choir..
got rained on...
had mathz - nothin special
commerce - nothin special
house acts - softball
french - last assessment eva !!! i sorta gave up half way thru tha assessment... and started drawin on mi drink bottle....
and english - well meant 2 be free readin period or research.. our choice realli... and well i jus chose 2 do half half cept i cbb doin ne more research

scar...
maybe u r rite..
maybe im thinkin 2 much again these daiz..
well itz more of me typin mi thoughtz i guezz...
i guezz i think that tha reason i liek tha net in general so much..
is coz wen i chat 2 pplz or play gamez...
it sorta clears mi mind..
and i dont think up random thingz..
i mean i can do tha same wit bookz as a form of escapism...
cept tha thing is that im such a picky reader >.<
i get bored of some bookz so easily..
or if i get caught up in a book i wont be able 2 put it down..
tho turnin off tha comp at nite isnt that easi either...

thinkin bout time..
i cnat believe tha net iz onli bout 10 yrz old !!!
i guezz wit pplz our age growin up wit it...
itz as if itz been here 4 us all along..
i mean no wonder mi parents dunno how 2 use tha net that well...

well end of lesson i betta go..
maybe type some more 2 nite wen i get home...
byez
*hugz*

skool - s+e

meant 2 be researchin on the cold war 4 common task..
but im takin a quick break ^^
itz makin me think 2 much and i think im startin 2 develop a headache...

nothin happend ova tha w/e..
lina went 2 anotha sleep ova..
and on sun wen she came bak mi mum, mi sista and i were close to non speaking terms...
coz each person had their own reason 2 be pissed off at some 1 else..
and i nearly burst out in tearz liek 3 timez...
coz mi mum wz worried bout mi sista all nite wen she wz at tha sleepova...
and so she called lina at 12:30 am..
and lina got pissed coz she didnt believe that mum couldnt trust her..
and wen lina got bak she wz pissed off at me 4 not fixin tha prob on her comp
while she wz away so that tha net connection worked..
and so i went 2 do it 4 her and wit out ne wordz...
she jus kiked me outta tha room once it worked fine >.<>.<
i mean realli...? wz that neccessary?
and coz lina wz bein so mean wen mi mum started lecturin me i tried 2 breathe properly and talk in a nice tone (coz if i didnt then i'd end up gettin tha "dont talk 2 me int hat tone of voice" lecture) cept it didnt work..
and mi mum took it as if i raised mi voice at her..
and sounded all hurt..
*sigh*
i didnt mean 2 make her sad and pissed off...
oh wellz..
but i guezz most of itz ova...

end of class fini later..

.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~. l8r on at home.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.

*sigh*
sometimez i think bout pplz and wat they do and think...
and i wonder...
do some pplz do wat they do coz they feel insecure...?
like tha way they act is a result of their own inner fear..?

some pplz seem so proud...
and yet wen u get 2 noe them u find out and realise...
itz all jus a mask... to hide away their own insecurites..
itz as if they feel that by actin tha way they do they make themselvez more superior...
betta than otherz and by doin that makin em seem so "perfect"
i guezz..
like they're all bold and careless of everythin...
and yet..
if u realli think bout pplz...
they build up this whole facade..
jus 2 hide their "imperfections" (if u can sorta call it that)

but then there may jus be pplz who are jus tha way they are..
and there may not be a facade at all...
and most pplz accept that...
but i dunno y wen i see some pplz and later on..
wen i think bak bout em...
tehy all seem 2 have some troubled mind or seomthin...
(or it could jus be mi imagination...)
or maybe i jus like 2 sympathise 4 some pplz...
but then maybe tha world realli isnt that much of a sad place...

iz tha world realli a bad place, good place or a place of balance...?
iz there a "big BAD world out there?"
iz there a good side of tha world...?
iz there both..?
(-.-" i sound like some random naive outsider who's been wrapped up in cotton wool all their life...)

i went out 2 tha resto 2 nite...
and i saw one of tha employee's son's...
and i felt so sad...
like how bad would it be if i were their parent..
(btw he'z aged 5 and seemz 2 be mentalli not disabled but like i dun wanna use tha word but sorta retarded >.< )
i mean hez 5 and all he doez is look at u and drool...
and he smiles and everythin..
but he refuses 2 talk..
either that or he dunno how 2..
and he dun wanna eat...
so his mum has 2 like force feed him
and like he refuses 2 hold ne thin..
and all he does is wonder round and look at u and smile and drool..

like maybe he feelz happi bout his life atm..
but how bad would life be later on..?
would he stay that way 4 eva..
*sigh*

and then i think..
how sad i would feel if that were mi own child...?
i mean itz bad enough 2 be a parent wit some child or teen...
wat bout 1 that wz mentalli disadvantaged..?
how heartbreakin would that be..?
oh wellz...
but then i dun think i wanna have ne kidz wen i grow up...
but then again..
thingz may change ...
till then i guezz ...
dun realli need 2 think bout that...

i wonder sometimez...
bout future....
wat would happen..?
would i stuff up tee..?
would i end up goin 2 uni..?

ugh...
gettin late..
g2g sleep
nite nite
*hugz*

bout 2 weekz since mi last post...
mi apologiez...
coz i sorta wz sick and then afta that...
i kept gettin distracted by msn...
so by tha end of tha post bein ritten there wz like onli 3 linez ritten...
so no point in publishin...
and then afta that i sorta had a time of loss of internet connection due to some random reason...
which seemed totalli horrible 4 me...
since i jus realised how much i depend on tah net and how much time i spend on it...

hmm...
watz happend since mi last post...?
semester 2 music concert - our choir sounded as if there wz no sound produced...

voice recital - it went ok i guezz i stuffed up a few timez... mi teacha said i did well tho ^^

muck up day - got drenched >.< and covered in shaving cream or shampoo wat eva it wz... but not as bad as some pplz i guezz...

heather lamont - well they cancelled tha house dance >.< so didnt get 2 watch that...
umm... i entered 3 catergories... french play... textiles and craft (tha tute skirt)... and tha cake which i guess wz falling apart but i guezz it tasted good and we had fun ^^ tho i think now im prob double size of wat i wz b4 i shared tha cake wit scar ^^"

and thatz bout it...
how borin is mi life...?
oh wellz...
i got friendz and family 2 talk 2
so all iz good ^^

tha otha day durin re...
we were talkin bout if there wz an existance of god...
and ms raston wz like givin this hand out bout some evidence 2 support tha existance of A god...
or at least some creator...
and tha otha day i wz standin ..
and again i noticed all tah beauty round us...
tha trees whose leaves of so many shades of green dancing in tha wind...
and tha clear blue sky dotted with scatterings of clouds...
and lil buds bout 2 open...
*sigh*
i mean seriously all this beauty must have been created...
how could it have all been accidental...?
but then some of tha stuff could be evolution...
but how could such a "perfect" world be an accident?
i meant therez tha whole balance of tha seasons...
and tha food chain...
and tha whole reproduction thing
which all leads to possible global sustainability...
tho if us humans continue wreckin tha world there may ne world left...

but then im jus sittin here bein hypocritical bout tha destroyin tha world...
coz i am still contributin 2 it -.-"

i wonder...
could it all jus be human nature...?
to both create and destroy all tha things each other owns or loves and cherishes..?
all beginnings have ends...
but y is it that we seem 2 end everything around some1 else...?
with all those wars that happend...?
a struggle for power and resources...
and jus endin lives of pplz and then leave their love ones in pain...
all that grief..?
was it realli worth it?
as a whole...? all that happend?
*sigh*

but tehn i think how mi life'd be if all that didnt happen...
i prob wouldnt be livin here...
wit this access 2 tha net..
and havin such good education...
oh wellz...
shouldnt wonder bout wat could have been now that itz already happend...

sometimez i wonder...
am i realli nice and polite....? or do i act nice and polite?
do i act nice round pplz coz im afraid that pplz wont accept me 4 me...?
but then strangely i can open up and talk 2 some of tha most strange pplz...
and i dunno y i seem 2 trust...
but so far wen eva i have trusted pplz and told em tha ENTIRE truth...
soon rumors start goin round...
and im sick and tired of wat pplz say..
seemz like i usualli end up trustin tha rong pplz...

i dun wanna hear wat pplz tell othas...
im sick of bein tha topic of rumors sometimez...
and then afta pplz start sendin those weird glances...
and quiet giggles...
and talkin bout stuff behind ure bak...

and then therez jus tha pplz who judge by appearance...
whom seem 2 peeve me coz they dont seem 2 understand...
i mean i may sound cliched bout findin tha inner beauty...
and gettin 2 noe tha person and how they've lived their life so far...
how much they've suffered or enjoyed jus by tha way they dress...
or appear...
*sigh*

who am i...?
i wonder that also...
pplz say ure shaped by wat u like and dislike and tha way u act and appear...
yet if i find miself like drifting along in life...
nothin i REALLI like or love or am passionate bout...
nothin im REALLI against... or hate...
tha way i act is jus a result of mi reaction 2 tha pplz around me...
and tha way i appear iz wat mi mum deems as acceptable 2 wear..
since she practicalli buyz mi clothes 4 me wit out me knowin...

maybe i jus want independance...?
i wanna know who i am..
but doesnt everybody..?
2 find a place where they believe they belong...
wen they actualli realise they do..?

i guess itz realli tha nicest feelin wen u lose track of time..
and jus enjoy wat u have and accept ure self 4 who u are...
and jus know ure loved and believed u belong...
i guezz thatz how felt at athletics carnival...
totalli carefree..

but wen i start thinkin...
and tha mind wonders..
and remembers...
everythin that wz covered...
jus seemz 2 reappear..
and i jus get in2 tha most saddening depressions...
as if tha world doesnt care...
and there is no point in your own existance..
as if it wz all a mistake...

tho i hope thatz not tru...
coz every1 wants 2 believe that they're important 2 at least 1 otha person in tha world...

*sigh*

betta go sleep now...
nite nite
*hugz*

realisationz...

>.<
sick atm and mi throat killz like hell so i cant realli speak...

and tha music concert iz 2moro nite...
and tah voice recital iz on sun...
not good since mi voice iznt workin atm...
but then it mite turn out that i wont have 2 sing ^.^

i had mi first harp lesson 2day wit tha new harp teacha...
i dun realli like her already...
and onli in 1 lesson...
oh wellz...
at least its gonna be a short term...

u noe these last few daiz ive made a few realisationz....
i jus realised that mi mum actualli iz a lil jealous of tha opportunitez mi sista and i have !!!
thatz actualli quite interestin...
i mean she keepz goin on bout "wen i wz ure age..."
i neva actualli thought taht she would be a lil jealous...
coz she wz talkin bout her childhood again durin tha w/e
then for tha first time i actualli notices a twinge of jealousy...
and a bit of bitterness...
or it could be that she wz jus pmsin...
i dunno... but it sounded like jealousy 2 me...

and i made a few otha realisationz... but i cant remember wat they were...

hmm...
itz 4 hourz afta i opendd thiz window and ive bearly ritten all tha stuff i wz gonna rite...
and now i cant remember -.-"
cbb

nite nite
*hugz*

lazy

hmmm...
these daiz startin 2 get 2 lazy 2 blog...
i mean i do open up tha window and start typin..
but then by tha end of tha nite ive onli ritten a few linez so cbb publishin....
(either 2 distracted by msn or playin gamez...)

afta an extremely long week of 4 daiz...
itz tha weekend at last !!!
seemz like agez ago since skool started...
i got mi french and math resultz bak....
mi french wz round 72%
and mi math wz 63% and ms bayley took tha liberty 2 rank our scores between her 2 classes...
i got ranked 42/51 >.<
and s+e i got 72.5% ( accordin 2 mr o every1 in tha class did betta than their usual except 4 me who got below mi standard -.-")

realli nothin 2 talk bout this week...
had chinese skool 2day 4 first day of term 4...
changed classroomz...
saw andy....
then went 2 airport 2 pick up mi grandparents...
they had jus come bak 4m a 3 week trip 2 India...
then went home and net....

okz
nite nite...
*hugz*

first few daiz bak at skool...

well skoolz started...
and bout 2 daiz till tha weekend ^^

im startin 2 get bak tha resultz 4 mi exams...
their alrite i guezz.. im not totalli devastated...
but then im not that happi bout them...

Chem - 85% (mi mumz askin y i didnt get 100% -.-" but ovall im happi wit it... coz i didnt realli finish tha paper)
Phys - 77% (soso... )
Bio - 72% (not realli carin bout it...)
English - 5b (they didnt give us a mark >.<>.<
wat would happen then? would it be survival of tha richest?
or would we try 2 find a planet 2 live on?

they talk bout how if tha rich pplz gave money 2 tha pplz who are poverty stricken...
maybe there'd be a balance...
but then pplz are greedy...
pplz will do wat eva they can 2 get easi cash $.$
and therez gonna be tha queue jumpin...
and maybe deathz jus 2 get richez...
and who would give money out in tha first place...?
i mean even i admit im materialistic...
and i keep wantin 2 buy new stuffz...
tha old stuff getz given 2 mi sista but who'd want our stuff ne waiz...?
plus i do realise that i dont wanna give it 2 ne1 coz itz MINE
jus so hard i guezz...

hmm...
wen i opend thiz it wz 4:25...
thatz 6 hourz ago...
oh wellz
thatz wat msn doez 2 me i guezz...
cant type post and talk

hmm.. choir 2moro mornin
nite nite
*hugz*
bye

2nd last day of freedom...

*sigh*

2 nite itz like tha most pplz online 4 me in agez...
yet...
no1 2 talk 2 on msn...
and so soon tha holz are ova...
oh wellz...

well tha rest of tha day..
nothin that special....
went out 2 nb wit mi mum 2 buy beansprout coz ran out at resto..
then went 2 help out in tha shop...
well mainly jus sit at tha bak..
but i helped close up since tha person whoez sick didnt turn up 2day...
which caused tha cancellation of mi day wit mi parents...
well i mopped up tha shop 4 tha first time since i wz 7...
so yah i could bearly remember how...
but i rememberd afta a while wat i needed 2 do...

then went ova 2 tha resto..
waitressed 4 bout 5 minz...
then went home...

and yah...
tatz tha rest of mi day...

hmmm..
sudden attack of msg..
me gonna go chat
nite nite
*hugz*

>.<

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????????????????

ne waiz....
me so bored...
2day wz meant 2 be a day where i spent some more time wit mi family...
which 4 once mi dad wz gonna spend some tiem wit us...
but turnz out tha whole day wz cancelled...
y?
coz julian sick so cant come 2 work >.<
tha onli day in tha holz that i can spend a WHOLE day wit BOTH mi parents AND mi sista
cancelled....
-.-"

so instead mi mum decided 2 drag me and mi sista along 2 some swap meet/flea market place...
and me wz in pissed off mood all tha way...
plus i had thiz swollen eyelid thing so i could bearly see ne thin...
and mi mum started lecturin me on how i should speak more kindly so pplz dont mistaken me 4 bein pissed off...
but tha thing wz i realli wz in a bad mood

and yah thatz been mi day so far 2day...

umm...
wat happend yesterday...?
well mi mum decided 2 go 2 tha ct...
but this time she wanted 2noe wat it would be like 2 take tha train...
-.-"
so we parked in claremont...
took tah train 2 ct...

walked 2 nb...
yum cha...
then saw andy walk 2 tfusion...
ignored him and went 2 ct...

walked round wit mi mum...
saw bonnie and her friend in crazy clark's...
i couldnt recognise her and got scolded by mi mum...
coz she assumed i wznt greetin a realli good friend..
but in fact that i could bearly recognise bonnie...
since i dont realli see her outta uniform
then took train home...

and that wz it realli...
nearly tha end 2 mi holz...
oh wellz...
gonna go find somethin 2 do
*hugz*

holz nearly ova

afta thiz weekend and mon...
it'll be bak 2 skool...
i cant believe how fast tha last 2 weekz have gone past....
i cnat even remember tah examz....

well..
watz happend...
mi sista had her friend ova...
had pizza 4 dinner last nite...
then this mornin took em out 2 tha shop 4 a walk...
came bak...
most of it wz jus mi sista and her friend attached 2 tha computer...
and ann on tha otha comp..
and me on mine...
so nm goin on realli

mi mumz planned 2 spend time wit me and mi sista 4 tha weekend
so everythinz lookin briter ^^
good family time...
but then sadly mi dad wont have ne time 2 spend wit us :(
oh wellz...
im happi that mi mum can spend time wit us still

oh wellz
betta go 2 sleep
nite nite
*hugz*

worried...

well got mi comp bak ^^ !!!

watz happend tha last few daiz???
well on mon didnt do that much as usual...
jus wondered round tha house...
and i cnat rmemeber doin ne thin else....

tue - well scar organised 2 go 2 tha ct...
got there round 930....
sat and waited 4 scar....
walked round lookin at stuff in tha ct...
didnt buy a thing...
then ate sushi 4 lunch...
walked 2 nb...
went 2 timezone...
then went 2 gelare...
lina and scar ate waffles whilst i watched...
sat in tfusion for an hour...
saw andy and jono...
lina and scar ran round wantin 2 take pix of andy and jono...
they managed 2 get a pic of andy...
whom soon got hold of tha cam and worked out how 2 delete it and deleted it..
then walked scar bak 2 tha ct so she could catch her bus...
lina and i took tha train home...

yesterday...
well... um...
i cant remember much but i dont think i did much in tha mornin...
then took lina rollerbladin 2 tha shop...
then went 2 annz house....
picked her up....
and now shez ova on a sleep ova
and we rented some movies out...
and watched lookin 4 alibrandi and a walk 2 remember...
ended up sleepin round 2 in tha mornin >.<

and since ann has a habit of wakin up at 7...
she woke me up >.<
but luckkily i can fall asleep again easily
but poor thing she jus sat round till i woke up 2 find her somethin 2 do...

oh betta go get somethin done...
bye
*hugz*

thoughts...

half tha holz are ova... >.<

ne waiz...
i spent yesterday cleanin tha house...
and i sorta realised how materialistic i am...
and how much i cling 2 tha past...
tho some of it i wanna forget..
and how much i hate throwin stuff out..
i jus cant let go of stuff...

no wonder mi room is such a mess...
itz mainly cluttered up wit random stuff i don wanna throw out...
so i have no where 2 put em...
and i dunno y i wont put it in tha garage...
oh well...
me jus strange...

then afta that i sorta started thinkin...
and sorta realised most pplz confuse me...

like itz either that pplz are complicated...
or i have 2 much of a simple mind 2 understand...

i mean 4 mi grandparents (both sides)
2 them pplz hearts and intentions are complicated...
and that pplz are out 2 plot against em...
but i dunno...
i think itz jus pplz in general confuse me...
oh wellz...
*sigh*

mona came 2 mi resto last nite... ^^

well 4 dia hope u have a safe trip if i dont see u 2moro ^^

wat happend 2day..?
well went 2 tha ct wit mona, dia, sheila and monaz bro
monaz dad drove us 2 harbour town...
let mona eat breakky..
spent bout 20 minz in harbour town...
walked and took tha train 2 ct...
walked round...
met up wit dia...
watched cinderella story whilst steven wz in nb wit his friend...
then went home afta that..

and that wz mi day...
not that interestin...

hmm...
im wonderin now y tha reasons y i like goin on tha net htat much...
i think itz coz it makez me think of wat 2 type..
instead of lettin mi mind wonder bout random stuffs....
like rite now wen im jus typin out mi thoughts...
but therez a difference coz im actually focused on thinkin up wat 2 type...
and also choosin wat 2 reveal bout miself and mi life...
whereas wen im doin wateva i do durin tha day..
mi mind jus wonders freely..
and i jus think up random thoughts bout things in life...

lallala...
dunno wat 2 rite now..
but yet again im usin blogger as a means of stayin online longer...
so if u wanna u can give up readin now coz im jus gonna ramble on bout crap...
wateva comez in2 mi mind....

-.-"
i jus lost mi train of thought...
ugh...
jus wen i decided 2 rite tha first thing that comez in2 mi mind i get a mind blank...
i realli cant think of ne thin 2 rite...
or maybe mi mind is preoccupied wit msn 2 much...
thinkin wat 2 say...
oh stuff it...
cbb tryin 2 stay online ne longer..
mite as well get some sleep

nite nite
*hugz*
bye