Breathe.
Just breathe.
Deep breath in.
And blow it out.
Let all that stress out.
But it just keeps bubbling and boiling.
'Why are you be stressing?
It's a day off, take your time
Enjoy yourself!'
!!!
Really? What really? I seriously must be dreaming, there's no way those words came out of her mouth.
They didn't.
I was dreaming afterall.
Afterall... Afterall...
After everything, still nothing,
Always plenty to do, plenty to think.
If you're not being productive its sinful.
I have it easy, oh how easy I have it.
No, no complaints, it's all self-inflicted.
Stop being ambitious. It would really, really, REALLY help.
But not driving myself would mean to be pushed towards elsewhere... And to be pushed where you don't want to go? You might as well pick a path and drag your legs in that direction.
But what I'm unsatisfied about myself is my inability to power on and follow through with my own choices. There's sort of a sudden loss of passion when it comes about to completing the tasks for each step of the staircase to the destination; an uphill journey.
And yet from my current stand point, all I seem to do is just to take out my binoculars and scan the mountainous range around me and dream of an alternate mountainous path I can strive for the following year.
What, oh, what am I doing to myself?
Ambition?
Ha!
More like procrastination and day dreaming.
So why is it that I'm holding my breath? Am I waiting for something?
Am I just lost?
Or am I just so far ahead of myself I've just gone and given myself altitude sickness?
Confused,
-Del
