Long Weekend... Viva Love Generation

Well..
nearing a whole week from the ball...
and atm..
all i feel is weak...
well at the very current moment that is..
really this post was gonna be all happy happy
recaps and everything..
but i just cant bring myself up to it..
now that i have time to actually type this..
its just like total deflation..

im writing an email to someone atm...
and like seriously..
it feels like there's nothing happening..
the week after the ball its just all downhill..
its like there's nothing to look forward to..
but at the same time..
suffering post ball blues..
its like..
im distracted even tho im not meant to be..
i should be concentrating..

i stuffed up my lit essay on wed..
and well today...
3 assessments were totally two words...
F-KED UP
*sigh*

On the monday after the ball..
went on soup patrol...
guess it really was a new experience...
just the sight of so many ppl...
well i was sorta expecting more in my mind..
but still
the fact that there really are ppl there
who do use the services..
yes its good they do get a decent food intake..
but it just disturbs me..

the fact taht there were ppl there
i didnt really mind..
the fact taht i saw a kid there who ran away from home
really shook my lil bubble world...
the fact taht some kid really did just run away
and was perfectly happy bout living on the street...
i sorta shouldnt be talking bout it..
and well im not really making judgements on anything
but for me personally i found it as something
that i really hadn't encountered before..

the whole soup serving was actually quite fun..
the cleaning obviously wasnt..
and getting home...
EVERYWHERE i went..
even AFTER a shower...
and changing...
i STILL smelt it EVERYHWERE
the bloody soup smell..
UGH...
it was like mush..
but hey most likely nutritional..
made by a hospital
so bound to have all needed nutrients im sure..

Great way to start a w/e...
finding out there's talk of you in another school
*sigh*
and thats on top of the already thing
that is still overhanging some other school...

i have no connections to these things
i dont really have close friends in other schools...
WHY me???

why is it that i cant escape these things?
tho then again..

sometimes i just wish that i had a friend..
that i totally grew up with..
where there really would be no problem discussing things with..
coz i know there are things i can talk bout to some ppl
but then again i cant talk to others about...

and really..
there's the whole distrust..
no offense to some ppl..
if ure reading and you do get offended...
but somethings.. if it talk too much bout it..
i feel like im just self obsessing..
others i feel like i cant talk..
in fear of it becoming any form of gossip..
and then on top of that..
for some i feel like i cant talk over connections..
liek i can talk bout ppl..
but if they dun know the person im talkin bout..
its like pointless..
since all taht happens is i have to explain everything..
of which i'll just end up telling part truth..
which will lead to further repurcussions of the same subject...
coz i wanna finish it off..
*sigh*

why is it that there really isnt anyone..
that knows of the ppl i wanna talk bout..
that i can talk to in total full confidience?
but at times there are..
but then again..
its just that there's teh fear of waht i say..
being used against me..
after all it happens alot...
*sigh*

with this whole build up..
its just like..
it just feels weakening..
it just lowers me..
dragging me down..
why i cant get over these things i dunno..
and really..
seeking comfort over things..
its just like there seems to be no place i can hide..
not really a shelter..
where i can just block out any thoughts in any set of moments..

and over all..
overshadowing all this..
it always leads to my sister..
both my mum and my sister..
i dont wanna blame em..
but then again..
it feels like im tied down to my sister..
well yes..
it is the whole duty..
but..
i feel like i blame it too much
over the whole lack of childhood "friends"..
but of the ones i really did have
i dunno
they just really arent that close..
if i keep pushing the blame..
i could blame em forever..

but really i think as far as friendships go..
i think it just seems to be..
that there is the lack of connection..
could be that i just dont open up or whatever..
yes in the last few yrs ive gotten to know really lovely friends..
but sometimes..
i feel like the link there..
in itself is just too weak..

and really..
it takes two to keep any relationship going
any friendship..
any connection..
when talk becomes scarce..
all that happens will be the thin-en-ing
of the connection..
ppl become distant..
*sigh*

somethings scare me..
somethings just too confusing..
and as my usual..
i try not to face it...

but i guess these things..
they really surface..
when anyone reminds me..
or just teh simple fact that i have time to think..
reflection..
what has happened..
what could happen...
i really..
i dunno i wanna just hide..
hide from the world..
hide from causes..
and hide from teh effects..

maybe it could be a slight factor of my oblivious-ness..
i just dont wanna know
i wanna be shielded..
just Dont wanna know..

well anyways..
getting late
nite nite
*hugz*

Email Forward : How old is Grandma ?

i really should be posting bout ball
it was fun and all
but cbb atm..
maybe next week ill do a summary with pix...
since i can load atm..

but here's an email forward i got..
interesting..
tho not sure bout the accuracy in age...
since it being an email..
and well times change
so not known the number of yrs to add on to the age of the email
and the answer
but ah well

================================================

How old is Grandma?
Stay with this the answer is at the end it will blow you
away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about
current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the
shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born
before:

*television
*penicillin
*polio shots
*frozen foods
*Xerox
*contact lenses
*Frisbees
*the pill.

There was no:
*radar
*credit cards
*laser beams
*ball-point pens

Man had not invented:
*pantyhose
*air conditioners
*dishwashers
*clothes dryers and the clothes were
hung out to dry in the fresh air
*and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

*Your Grandfather and I got married first-and then lived
together.
*Every family had a father and a mother.
*Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir'- and
after I turned 25, I still called policemen
and every man with a title, 'Sir.'
*We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers,
daycare centers,and group therapy.
*Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,
good judgment, and common sense.
*We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong
and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
*Serving your country was a privilege
*living in this country was a bigger privilege.
*We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
*Having a meaningful relationship meant
getting along with your cousins.
*Draft dodgers were people who closed their
front doors when the evening breeze started.
*Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the
evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
*We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
typewriters, yoghurt, or guys wearing earrings.
*We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's
speeches on our radios.
*And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out
listening to Tommy Dorsey.
*If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
*The term 'making out' referred to
how you did on your school exam.
*Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
*We had 5 &10-cent stores where you
could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
*Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi
were all a nickel.
*And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel
on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
*You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600
but who could afford one?
*Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:
*"grass" was mowed
*"coke" was a cold drink
*"pot" was something your mother cooked in and
*"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
*"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office
*"chip" meant a piece of wood,
*"hardware" was found in a hardware store and
*"software" wasn't even a word.

*And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady
needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and
confused" and say there is a generation gap...
and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old lady in mind...you are in for a shock!

pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the
same time.

This Woman would be only 58 years old!

hope you enjoyed
nite
*hugz*