Wishes...

Well..
as of a few posts ago..
cant remember how long..
but if not
ppl or should of heard me
talkin bout wanting an older brother..

and well in relation to my msn nick atm
[Wishes can come true :P]
well i sorta did get an older brother today :P

its my grandpa's sister's grandson..
so sorta my cous but not exactly
and he's older than me.. by like 1 yr :D
so im happy now :D
it'll sorta be the closest
i can get to havin an older bro i think
and he seems pretty nice
but he dont speak eng
or canto >.<
so the catch is sorta the language barrier
i have to actually use my mando
and he speaks teo chew fluently
and i only understand a few words
of which i can only say
like some swear thing :S

hmm
i love my cousins so much
i guess i am in quite a close knit family thing
but its HUGE
ah well im lucky then :D
VERY lucky that is

you know i was contemplating the other day
like you know how some ppl say
happiness is sorta inversely proportional
to the amount of wealth you have
and i think
its like
ok first thing would be for the hard working ppl
theres the whole no time
coz ure busy trying to get money
and then also
with the next generation
wouldnt that mean
that if spoilt by parents
with all materialistic things they need
its like they always have this wealth to fall back on
therefore they dont really have to worry bout
whether or not they're gonna fail in life
coz it seems like therez always something there
the back up which makes us secure
and would mean that we would put less effort in
in comparison to those who strive to rise out of what they are
to reach something
the goal to attain something that is like hard to attain
means you have to work hard and put heaps of effort in
and if attained it seems more valuable
than if soemthing you gain is simple
like its given
you think it less worthy once you have it

like having a trophy would mean more if
you had worked so hard and competed and actually won it
in comparison to jus buying it from some shop
to be tailor made for you
or like just rigging it so you will win
like through cheating or soemthing
the trophy wouldnt be as valuble in ure own eyes
since it is something that has no memory of hardship behind it

so like
if you have more wealth..
then as a child of parents whom worked hard for the money
and then if the child is love by the parents heaps
and spoilt as much as possible
then if they want something esp materialistic
then they get it..
what would the child learn from that?
they wouldnt do any thing
dont work hard at all
and still get what they want
and then in the end get nowhere
hmm why does this sorta slightly say bout my family?
:P
anyways
like soon the child is gonna be bored
and not interested with material things
there really isnt that much in them
since they prob have something the same
(unless they're totally gullible towards the media and marketing stuff)
and wont need it
what they still turn to
or want would still be simplistic
love, caring, friendship..
just simple things which everyone can enjoy
no matter what context
(yay i used the word "context")
or maybe not.
since there's still some stuff in some countries
that might not be as ideal as everything i see
in the whole slight eurocentric views
:S

which would that be one of the slight downfalls
in each of the dynasties in china?
ok totally offtopic
but like they always fell after some generations
i guess you could say that its just one of the possible factors
like the princes would always have easy
apparently
jus making TOTAL assumptions here
(since im prob out when it comes to asian history)
and then when the duty of actually ruling came
they became so selfcentred and pleasure seeking
since nothing materialistic could seem to satisfy them?
like they would have seen silk all their life
and gold and other what not
so in finding things that would amuse them
they would start to neglect the state
and sooner or later they brought the state down
by the simple neglect and ruling coz ppl
just up-rose and took over..
or won battles and stuff..
:s

you know
i think i would possibly like debating
if i didnt hate public speaking so much
and not the whole possibility of arguing
bout something that is against ure personal belief
like i actually expressed something today
and it felt good

maybe i just love the feeling of feeling smart :P
not that i am is the thing
but who doesnt enjoy feeling superior in comparison to the inferior
but then again with superiority
always comes with some form of responsibility
or expectations of something
UGH

ah well
life aint perfect
but sometimes things do happen

few weeks till taiwan
it just seems so unrealistic
and hopefully ill update as much as possible
tho i doubt it
since i recently realised
we're living in a uni IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
well not exactly nowhere
but its like rural
>.< which lowers the chances of having net cafe
(apparently)

hmm what else to talk bout?
actually
gonna sleep
have family foto day tomoz.. (my dad's side)
its also pheobe's full month thing :P
that is she's 1 month old now
so nite
*hugz*

Love <3

You know..
ive just realised something else?
i rarely love much..
well ok i LOVE music
and i do LOVE someother things..
or at least i hope i do..

but love is something i dont really express much
like i love my sister and i love my parents
but its seriously something i dont vocalise
fine.
so you dont have to vocalise everything
but then again think of all the tragedies happening today
or at least all the tragedies fed to us by the media
think bout the bombings and stuff
if some1 you loved died..
would you feel bad for not letting them know you loved them
for one last time when you last saw them?
or jus worried the fact that the ppl you love
have suddenly left your lives??

and i noticed
well that is recently
i dont use the word "love" much..
or do i?
(meh something to talk bout in these exam times)

like im fine with saying love
in mando..
i say to my parents
i love them everynite in mando before i go to bed
but i just..
i dont say love in canto.. :S
and i dont say love in english either
like well the fact that the main person
who i can say i love you to in english is my sister
could be a main factor
but it feels weird to say i love somebody
in canto or english
fine i can type out "love"
but then again its something that i dont generally
think about or even discuss..
hmm maybe a few times but hey..
still not a word i use daily
(well if i do..
i dunno maybe i say it unconsciously..
as in without realising it..
not as in i say it whilst im unconsious)

ah well
that was a random ranmble..
for no particluar reason
but i feel like talkin these days
:D
maybe its the fact that the only ppl i talk to
are to ppl i see just like 30 mins before exams each day
followed by 3 hours of silence
then going home
in which the process
im struck quiet since my mum's listening
to her viet news radio in the car
(AND at home)
and drops me off
im home alone
and the only possible source of talk
would be via msn
which btw ppl dont forget my fone fear..
i HATE fones
anyways
besides the point
THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO
my sister comes home
and she closes the door to her room
and tells me to get out wen im in there
plus the fact that both my parents and my sister
now have a reason to be asking me why im talking to them
(why aren't you studying at the current moment?
you should be studying not wasting ure time talking to us)

hmm
another example
yesterday:
went out to the bank with mum
met up with dad who was gonna go to ct with mum and maybe me
then dad changes his mind
Dad:NO you should be home studying for exams
Me:but i wanna spend time with you
Dad:we have plenty of time to spend together
you have no time before exams
me: -.-"

ok fine. its jus the ct
and it IS exam time when i should be studying
BUT I WANNA GO OUT
im sick of facing the walls of my room
for christ's sake i have a max attention span
of an hour of fully or half heart-ed-ly studying
before i go read soemthing else

there is no one to talk to
and everytime i turn to talk to someone
either they cant (exam, work, school)
or they tell me to study
UGHHHHHH

*frustrated*

maybe chinese tomorrow will give me some time to talk
WAIT..
its not like i talk to them that much anyways !
-.-"
GRRR

the only ppl i get to talk to
is when i go to the resto
and majority of them speak viet!!!
>.<
i understand but hello
i dun wanna talk viet when i cant talk to anyone else
and most of the time it takes me 10 mins to think up a sentence

*annoyed*

anyways got caught by dad online jus then
so betta go
nite
*hugz*