Just One Last Time...?

unless you think about particular occurences
it seems just too easy it seems
to float along in life
not realising what happens
or thinking about the effects or repecussions
of what you do, say, n well even think
(attitude affecting behaviour?)

tho sometimes things happen to make you wonder
if there really is a god above
at least you think about it
and hope for least someone who has the power
to be overwatching you and possibly guiding you
someone who cares...?

its just like this occurence
reported on the ninemsn videos..
hmm well it caught my eye.
but since i cant actually load the video
coz the net is slow and will take forever to load.
im basing this on the single sentence recap

an american couple who
tragically lost their three children
in a car accident
have been blessed with the news
that they are expecting triplets

like.. awww
god? karma? or like random spontaneous luck??

atm. i just wanna believe.
no. i hope that things dont happen jus coz of random coincidence.
anyways.
something better left for another day's thinking
headachey and after 3 days of exams and morning crams
im just so not up to thinking..
at all..
i have now even lost my ability to count..
sadly. i was having troubles counting to 20
to make sure the 20 pages of exam was actually there
oh god..
and bout my previous posts
its not uni.. its ME

*hugs*
nite nite

*Pop*

ok so now it is truly
'three to go'
but with the 'two down'
in front of it
mhmm exam finished

==========================

make that 'three down and two to go'
i never thought it was possible
but this morning
i found myself actually not being able to
WAIT till my exam started
I WANTED TO HAVE START MY EXAM at 9am
hmm...
BUT. you cant always have what you want
so was waiting away at 2 for it
and FINALLY over n done with ^^

but sadly my nightmare isnt over yet
not that its really a nightmare.
just a troublesome, bothersome assessment
meanwhilst despite the amount of time ive spent on MBC study..
which is not really alot
but in comparsion to my other units
which means WAY MORE
i still know nothing...
somehow i forsee at least one fail this sem *sigh*
well one fail for MBC
and just stating another to give myself some leeway
meh means no disappointment later if it comes true..
just hope that its not a self fullfilling one tho ><

meanwhilst during my h bio exam...
i learnt:
a) like i've said before my attention span's reduced

b) to be grateful for calculators..
despite the fact it took me a HALF HOUR
for to remember bout their existence whilst i sat there
n fumbled through trying to work out simple maths..
no wonder i dont take maths..
adding on to my shame.. what i needed to calculate was this:
1-(1/30)=...?
*sigh* half hour of my 2 hour exam WASTED.

c) i can no longer write essays.
what little i ability i used to have in writing essays
whilst lit teachers deemed as being badly expressed n what not
no longer just springs outta my mind
h bio essay...?
q chosen verily easily
but the actual words?
think as hard as i may..
not a single sentence came to mind
think think think thank thank thunk!
NOTHING. not a single string of words that could
be put together accordingly to good syntax
which could possibly pass for as 'language'
i guess in the end the psych textbook was right...
use it or lose it..
i havent written an essay in...
i have no idea. meanwhilst in the last 2 days
ive had to gather what little white and grey matter i had
that had yet to degenerate to drivel away 3 essays -.-

meh
off to sleep
nite nite
*hugs*

One Down.. ONE ON THE WAY.. and Three to go.

'Hi Everybody!
Hi Dr...' actually.. lets not go there..
eee i miss the simpsons
i remember in yr 10 when we had the mining camp
on that bright overly early morning
on our great journey to kirkalocka
that someone managed to discover another's
ability to laugh just like crusty the clown..

ok. why am i talking about that now?
its 6:42am.. i have an exam at 9:00am
i should be cramming
but at the current moment my head is buzzing
with either the sound of flies in my skull
coz the brain has shrivelled and shrunk to the size of a walnut
and the remaining space has given rise to a colony of flies
gees.. with summer round the corner i wouldnt be surprised :P
i hate flies ><
as does many people...
OOOOORRRR
hmm i cant think of an alternative reason to a humming in my head...
not that flies hum..
oh but humming birds doo!
no.. i dont think one would fit inside my head..

you know..
waking up this early..
well earlier since ive now given up on study
and with the great boost of human overconfidence.
probs due to the lack of knowledge
the mental processsing of a concrete operational child
since ive found that not all heuristics apply
and...
all i wanna do is listen to music

meanwhilst hearing my mum ask my sister whilst
she is in a half asleep state in the room across
if 'that's a sprinter?'
meaning that thing that's sitting in her room
that's attached to a computer
that has the ability to 'run' a lotta paper through it
ehehehe the amusement.

hmm of which why is my blog called angelic tears..??
oh.. coz the template says so.
so template change = blog name change?
i think so too *nods*
but gotta be sometime soon
i dont think i could handle the next few days worth of exams
whilst still layout searching

anyways.
back to my hopefully helpful
if only existant
cram
good luck to me..
and anyone else..
who should be studying :P

*hugs*

It's Written in The Cards.. and thus it shall be so.

things are the way they are
need there be a reason for their existence?
yet somehow for us who seek a rationale
a reason for being
a confirmation of our existance
we yet to realise that despite our own selves
its not likely that with the number of us
our impact will be large
our greatest significance will be to those who know us
careful what you do n say
for a coincedence is coincidence
but to be grateful for all around
there is not changing what has past
but for what is to come.
there is always time
but in the cessation of of your own existence
does that not dash away all dwindling hope?

hmm what am i talking about??

bleh back on track :P

nope guess not.
i got distracted..
what with you may just possibly ask?
if you're actually reading this?
well.. cardomancy.
and after much googling on the subject..
yes quite a many things can catch my attention
right about now.. im sick of looking at text book
i learnt to much of my amusement the existance of myomancy
ehehee... let the mice run free!
and then the decision is made~!
hmm no i dont mean to be mocking it
but like wow. talk about not having much decision making
but on the plus if any thing happens.. it wasnt me!!
it was the RAT the RAT declared so.. IT WASNT ME!!!
hmm tho then again.
wiki says something bout mice being symbols of destruction.
mm maybe not wiki.. but someone said it THROUGH wiki..

hmm
late
nite nite
*hugs*

Tickity Tock.

"tick tock tick tock
listen to the busy clock.."
"hickory dickory dock..
the mouse ran up the clock."
tick tick tick
time flies by like that
back to childhood...
n somewhere mixed amongst
all those memories lies the confusion
in the sense of ridicule
i turned out lucky in the end i guess..
(i dont wanna ramble about exams atm)
but here confusion comes again
i am normal arent i??

tho when i should be studying what am i doing?
downloading ebooks. thanks to albie.
who sent the 'how to use the mind'
ive just followed the links in that document
and now i can find ebooks...
mm more procrat...?
why is it that ebooks download faster than ilectures?
-.-
still waiting on ilectures.

anyways.
maybe back to my emo rant?
maybe.. maybe not..
see where my typing takes me.
well more of my mind maybe??
interesting tho..
plato's texts are like available on the web.
so what are they?
but copies.
and as far as copies go..
that means there's bound to be discrepancies
to what extent would they exist huh?
and to the text we got in phil last sem
were they off the net too?
or that they were from books?
mm i just found my phil course reader just then
which reminds me this time last sem
when exams were on.
i remember really not looking forward
to this particular exam
despite its content. which was pretty interesting
to read. NOT STUDY.

grrr..
i just realised the similarity of some lecture outcomes...
happens to be all by the same lecturer
-.-
damnit. and its THAT lecturer's lectures that i didnt go to too
*sigh*
there's study.. then there's effective study
then there's reading everything..
and realising it just disappears
after it travels through the conjuctiva,
through the aqueous humorous, through the pupil
defracts whilst pasting through the lens..
its the fovea stimulating the cones which are highly concentrated
in that particular region,
forming (most likely? not sure any more) an action potential
which then inititates a nervous impulse
and travesl along the optical nerve,
crosses at the optical chiasm and then hitting the occipital lobe
where it sorta is processed through association neurons
and then with a *poof* and:

'what did i just read....?
damnit. must clarify
*sigh*
have to read it again'

yees.
i love my MBC notes.
i love the content of MBC.
prob explains why im still studying it
despite the multiple complaints
on how could they expect us to study
i love it all the same..
too bad my notes dont really extend that far..
tho somehow.. strangely
studying it now and realising
how little time i have to study it.
why am i thinking about writing and finishing the rest of it
AFTER EXAMS when i have time!?
O.o

hmmmm
gah. frozen notes..
icky.
tho on the plus im getting some work done
tho hopefully i wont lose it..
i spent the last hour on them.. damnit shoulda saved.
phew. no big drama.. just retype a few sentences.
but then again not as if you care right at the moment right?
you're s'posed to be studying.. why are you reading huh?
then again so am i. and im typing this -.-
but i like typing. :D
yep that's my excuse.
it's a destressor that is why im typing *nods*
not that im stressed atm
which sorta revokes my reason
but its not like you knew that right?
ok now i feel slightly blonde.
talking to a reader who i dont even know exists or not.
see? its all dependant on
whether people willingly come to read
so nope. its not my fault if
you do worse than you should yeah?
is this slight example of projection?
maybes :P in a weirdly applied way...?
i dunno.

hmm should be bout time i sleep now
i actually need my brain
for the weekend upcoming to actually function
hmm function through secretion and absorption?!
eugh. but still a synapse is what i mean
nitenite
*hugs*

(wow. this post was started at 10:30 today
and now its 11:56 pm hmm did i procrat much today?
*thinks*
ah well. tick tock.)

Waiting on the World to Change...

mm...
waiting lectopia.
so what am i doing??
i be-eth reading... my blog.
:)
how sad.
and procratty
but interesting.
and procratty.

what am i thinking?
YEAR'S NEARLY OVER!
is it a good thing...
maybe.
bye bye first yr of uni...
(well after exams that is)
but still
wow. i survived it
what does it say many posts before?
"half the yr's gone by
my first sem's over already"
or something of the like..
i like paraphrased it - despite quotation marks

anyways
wow it really has
and supposedly.
so many things have happened
day to day. i go around n meh
it feels like. 'just another day'
but really unless i bother to stop n reflect
it just seems like there's nothing there
really. you cant appreciate anything
unless you actually think about what it means to you
and that i think is why i like reading my bloggie
its when i actually think about things
or least process things through secretions
(neurotransmitters mind you.. im studying h bio)
'life is sad really..
its basically always about secretion and absorption'
and in a way true.. that is taking the physiological perspective
hmm dunno if im even using 'physiological' right or not.
bleh

i liked that last-ish molec bio lecturer..
he somewhat reminded me of forma
tho thing is we got so much less freedom..
i like the freedom bit bout being in forma's class ^^
mm that and pracs readily available to be doing :P
anyways back to lecturer
he was good. but he spent forever on somethings
meaning he fell behind in lectures
but he gave random facts.. :p
hmm i still cant belive forma wrote textbooks.

but anyways.
what has uni done to me..?
reduced my attention span..
what used to be 'omg the lecture's over already'
at the start of the yr due to class time/lecture time differences
has become
'OMG...
i cant believe
there's another half hour of this to go..
its only been 15 mins!?'
hmm back in time class was 65 mins.
now lectures only 45 mins.
or.. its just the plain fact
that i stopped trying to write notes in lectures anymore
not that i wrote notes in class in the first place..

mm i give up waiting.
and since my memory is proving to get rusty
i think i really should catch up on the needed sleep
nite
*hugs*