bleh.

so once again i seem to have something
that i should be doing. and here i am typing.
i need to pack. but what do i need to pack?
other than clothes n toiletries stuffs?
hmm cant think of anything else.. i is stuck.

n im also sitting here on msn
and i think about it. but was it always like this?
i always sit here waiting for someone to talk to?
since i first started using msn?
back how long ago would that have been?
yr 8? that makes it 6ish years?
that ive like whittled away time just sitting in a spot
not thinking about anything in particular
just jumpin from page to page
waiting waiting waiting
for someone to turn their thoughts this way..
but in the same thought.
why not just reach out through the dark..?

meanwhilst..
Christmas is nearly here..
and another year gone round.
this time last yr what was it?
but the anxious nerves about how i'd went
wondering where my exam results would take me
whether my educational side of life
would end? would detour? or just continue on?
just another milestone or feather to the cap?

times just go by

=============================================

well that's it then i guess
typing from a whole nother country..
its like a split post..
meh.
leave it here so i can start a fresh

Muted Glory.

so how's my post examic life?
other than the rantful post time before.
life has pretty much been quiet
many more rants. but its exhausting to type.
with work. then home. food making. chat n anime then sleep.
to be up again the next day to repeat the cycle all over again
there goes 2 weeks of my hols.
by the end of the day
i wonder 'when are the hols gonna start?'
to realise im supposedly living em now.

======================================================

so.
by now exam results are out.
for those of us willing to know
about how our academic year went.
so yep. and with that marks the complete end
of an entire uni year. results are out.
n what's left but to enrol?
or apply for graduation?
but. for me that's years yet to come.

and yet i cant believe it.
this time last yr was bout the time
when i suggested that there's nothing left to blog about.
well yeah in a way sometimes it feels like its true
other times you realise that once again you're thrust
into yet another new situation.
or more of one just like before.
but seemingly much more complex
or just the same cept for once
you're considering and exploring
more possible sides to the same coin...

so yes. usually bloggings of mine
occur when im procratting for something
well either that or im feeling bit on the emotional side.
n what is it now? its supposed to be packing.
yep im jetsetting away overseas in a few days.
mm something like in 2ish days?

mm end of my first year of uni
n its around this time.
when we're nearing the end of the year
that with the reflexions you'd think
there'd the be possibilities of highlights
n recaps. i wanna do that. but.
with the amount of time i have at the moment
it doesnt exactly look that likely.
and somehow.. along the way.
there seems to be the feeling of leaving the past
for whatever it just is. as you move forward
on to the next day, in the new rising of the sun
that there will be time n hope yet to change
the course we've taken in the past.

but how is it that you can choose wisely
without reflecting? its the experience we gain
that guide us along. as well as the adivise of peers
which give us direction. if we choose to heed.

to excite takes effort.
but in the highs of euphoria.
there will come a time of a fall
is it better to live the constant?
or to rise n fall?
in the end the interweaving of choices
that both we and those that exist in our world
that shape what will occur in the end
as you may tangle threads
to a form which in an abstract form
which could be beautiful beyond expression
in the same breath break apart
just cut it at some point or unwind
and the entire form may crumble
(hmm somehow a tangle of threads dont exactly
form a pretty picture in my mind.
but maybe its just
my un-arty un-abstracty appreciative mind
unless its sorta like a spiderweb or something)

why is it..
that are minds can become so focused on negatives?
that despite the possibly overwhelming praises over time
for all that believe and support.
that the words of one.
who shouldn't even matter
seem to be able to affect so harshly?
is it that our beliefs are possibly threatened?
in my days where the majority of comments
are predominantly positive.
how is it..
how can it just be that
words of what should be insignificant
have such a greater blow n effect?
is it not just in the mind?
so why the focus there despite
the unwillingness to believe
those nonsensical words in the first place?
is it that despite what i choose to believe
that im among those of today.
who were raised in the cottonball world?

i mean really...
sesame street rated for 'adults-only'
-.- gees.
yes. its true that some of the possible readings
may give the child viewers bad social influence
such as the 'mean-ness' of oscar the grouch
but should the child not be able to learn
in their time to be able
to distinguish the good from the bad?
instead of the cushioning of viewing restrictions
and ernie and bert sleeping the same bed
suggesting homosexuality...?
cmon they're kids.
is this not suggesting that the minds of those rating these
may possibly either have gutter minds
and disapprove of homosexuality?
or just the fact that they're so old
that they've lost the ability
to think from an innocent point of view
OR. im just underestimating the minds of the young these days

can it be..
that also in the rush-rush world we live in now
that the only company children have anymore
stems from their friends and the tv?
that if isolated from the friends.
that in the end you just end up being isolated
and for those who experience this alienation
and ostricisation to an extreme
curl up in the deepest dankest corners of our rooms
lock ourselves there and cry to sleep?
where is the interaction once you lose the friends?
espcially now with possibilities opening up
such as the ability to drop children off
at earlier ages such as 2 or 3 at private schools
at 6:45 - 7am where they have the facilities
and not pick them up till 6pm coz its just too busy at work.

where.
there give a language barrier
the lack of individual attention
competition for food, toys and whatever other items
you have instant clingy child
that suddenly has no ability to socialise
without the parents around and even at that
with the insecure attachment cry
everytime a stranger enters the room and looks at them

anyways
its late.
and for what i thought was the end of work for the year
became a call in for work for morning shift tomorrow
i shall call it a night
nite nite
*hugs*