I guess today im really havin a "bloggin spree"
i seem to have or more likely..
WANTING to say stuff..
and really these are the only things i feel liek talkin bout atm..
saddening things like death.. and MY PROBS..
hey.. wat can u say? its my blog and i write what i feel :D
Nice how the whole earthquake thing happend so recently..
which has happend in north eastern pakistan
when teh whole thing jus got ova with the tsunami in SA asia
earlier this yr..
well more of last yr since it was boxing day..
but still
it was a HUGE thing..
and tehn teh bali bombing..
interesting how all i seemed to mainly hear bout on the news
is jus single digit number of AUSTRALIAN ppl dead..
well i jus found out the total dead was around about 20..
saddening?
*sigh*
and what of the london bombings earlier this yr?
i missed them by 3 days...
if our tour had stayed..
we might have been travelling on those busses on the way to shop..
and then BOOM
and the bomb threat on eiffel tower..
what is the point of these ppl?
WHAT is it they want?
protest?
like many questions..
WHERE do you draw the line?
are all these bombings their form of protest?
or are they jus undermining some thing else?
WHAT do they want?
an ulitmate chaos?
scariest thought is jus like what i read in this article
in the paper on the plane to vienna..
EVERYTHING is so accessible..
everything is on the net..
and even if you access it you could access under some random username
people are learning things.
is our great technology also our undoing?
is our technology that great?
so great that we destroy all we have with what we create?
what is the whole meaning of this?
but i guess.
one good point..
well obivously since death and injuries isnt one..
is that there are always those great inspiring survival stories.
as well as medical trimphs eg. fiona wood
(i think? :S) that did that burns thing
and the emergency services also become of use.
but really..
how depressing is the thoughts
of losing a loved one in an instant?
and what if you had a fight with them earlier that day?
ure last memory of them was in an argument..
and you dont even get to say goodbye.
=========================================================
you know the possibility of not being able to sleep
could be the fact ive been turning too much of this stuff
over in my mind..
=========================================================
*sigh*
maybe i should jus go..
nite nite
*hugz*
Monday, October 10, 2005
Quizzes Galore...
Have you ever..
1.Been kicked?Yes but not hard or painful.. tho i feel sorry for some receivers of mine
2.Been punched? No not really
3.Been asked if you were brother's/sister's? yes.. well obviously i HAVE a sister..and obviously her friends ask if im her sista.. -.-" AND ive been asked if im some1 else's lil sister.. as in "IS (insert name) your brother?"
4.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend? No
5.Removed your clothing? well.. if i havent then HOW tha HELL would i change?
6.Been offered a cigarette? No
7.Been offered drugs/alcohol? Not Drugs.. but alcohol yes :D
8.Gone skinny-dipping? No.. well at least not to my memory
9.Walked in on someone while they were changing? Think i have.. cant remember who..
10.Walked in the rain without an umbrella or raincoat? most recent time.. mainly majority of time on music tour.. tho main memory was in Montreux wen the rain was worst with no shelter
11.Been outside between 3 am and 4 am with at least 6 other people? No
12.Lablled someone? huh ?
13.Been called a goth? No.
14.Bitch? Yes
15.Punk? No.
16.Prep? Prep?
17.Slut? Yes. Quite a few times.
18.Whore? No.
19.Hoe? No.
20.Sleazebag? No.
21.Douche? No.
21.Brat? Maybe behind my back when i was younger :P
22.Nerd? Not to my memory. Which these days is fading
23.Dork? No.
24.Wannabe? No.
24.Kissed someone from the same sex? No.
25.Played truth or dare? Yes
if so- taken a dare and successfully accomplished it? Strangely they tend to forget to give me dares since by the time its my turn ppl cant think of anything anymore :P
- taken a truth and actually told the truth? Yes.
26.Played spin the bottle? No.
27.Performed in some way in front of an audience of 100 or more? Yes
28.Pretended to someone on msn that you forgot an away message When you really just ignored them? No.
29.Talked behind a bestfriend's back? No.
30.Cursed while a teacher was standing right beside or behind you? Try not to curse.. well actually.. i try not to at times.. tho sometimes it jus comes out :P but hey teachers dont seem to be around :)
31.Seen a member of the opposite sex naked? Yes. Don't ask.
32.Lied to someone of the opposite sex to get closer to them? Well.. white lies or part truth ? :p but i dun think it was really to get closer to them..
33.Pretended to be scared during a movie so you could cuddle closer to someone? No.
34.Pretended to be bad at pool so someone you liked could "help" you? Well. i Was bad at pool.. still sorta bad.. but learning and No havent had "help"
35.Tanned completely naked? No.
36.Been to a nudist resort/beach/community? No, tho we nearly got to one during a p.e. walking along the beach lesson, we were told to stop before we reached the nudist beach. (thank god)
37.Gone through someone's stuff that you shouldn't have been going through? No.
38.Shoplifted? No.
39..Seen someone shoplift? Yes.
40.Punched someone? Hmm.. not really.. not punch punch.
41.Kicked someone? Yes, too many times.
42.Stolen from a teacher? Well. No.
43.Stolen from your school? Well sorta. didnt intend to but left it at home so literally "permanently" borrowed since i was in yr 7 and i cant go back to return it.
44.Cut class? Not really.
45.had an eating disorder?No.
46.Worn sunglasses on a shady day? Yes, in yr 9 when i had that random eye infection >.<
47.Been on a soccer team? Jus for p.e. in yr 9 WE WON ^^
48.Dived off a diving board? Yesss!
49.fallen off your bike? Yes. But too long ago.
50.Failed a subject? Yes. IC n GnT and maybe physics :(
One or the other?
1. Music/TV: TV
2. Guys/Girls: Both ? :P
3. Green/Blue: Blue
4. Pink/Purple: Pink
5. Sleep/Stay Up: Stay up
6. Summer/Winter: Summer
7. Spring/Fall: SPRING !!
8. Night/Day: Night
9. Hanging Out/Chilling: What's the diff? :S
10. Friends/Lovers: Both.
11. Cold/Warm: Warm.
12. Fast/Slow: Depends on what but prob fast.
13. New/Old: New
14. Dark/Light: Light
15. Sparkle/Shine: Shine.
16. Peach/Plum: Peach.
17. Apple/Orange: Both?
18. Laundry/Dishes: Laundry. I HATE DISHES
19. Hugs/Kisses: Both ^^ *sigh* tho you can have hugs from everyone ^^ so leaning more to hugs
20. Ketchup/Mustard: Ketchup
21. Glass Half full or Half empty: Half Full.
My Favourite?
1. Colour: BLUE.
2. Number: 12
3. Food: just food in general ^^
4. Non-alcoholic drink: Water
5. Alcoholic drink: Baileys.. well dun really have much of a choice at home now do i?
6. Snack: ANYTHING
7. Movie: dunno :S
8. Actor: None
9. Actress: None
10. TV Show: None
11. TV Channel: 10
12. Cartoon: None.
13. Disney characters: Mulan, Pluto ^^ Mickey n Mini
14. Song: Too Many
15. Singer: Dun have 1
16. Band: neither
17. Group: ditto
18. Sport: Most sports ^^
19. Book: Books are good.
20. Board Game: -
21. Card Game: Cheat, Big 2(cant even play that properly -.-"), Spoons. and that other random one oh yah peanut butter and jelly.
22. Smell: Babydoll, some fragrances from fragonard and Echo Woman as well as many more :P
23. Flower: Lotus :)
24. Magazine: -
25. Item of clothing: Jeans
26. Item of jewellery: Earrings, anklets and Necklaces
27. Time of the day: 8 pm
28. Day of the week: Fri
29. Week of the month: Does it really matter?
30. Month of the year: Feb :P
31. Place to be: "Home is where the heart is" Home would be the place to be :)
32. Thing to do in your spare time: MSN ?
33. Thing to do on the weekend: -
Do you..?
1.Cut yourself: No. Not purposely.
2.Kill people: WHY would i? No.
3.Plan on killing any one: Never did.
4.Hate a lot of people: Maybe some.
5.Like a lot of people: Yes.
6.Get grounded often: Never grounded
7.Yell a lot: Ask my family :P
8.Cry a lot: Read post below
9.Cry if your parents died: I'd be worried if i said No. Of Course I'd cry
10.Want to die: No.
11.Steal: No. Why would i?
12.Smoke: I'm not the 1 ruining/shortening my own life tho plz. dun smoke around me.
13.Go to church a lot: Well.. compulosory?
14.Love school: Once. a long time ago.
15.Wear dark colours: If it suits my mood.
16.Dye your hair: No. Not at all.
Randomness
1.Unwrap a starbust with your tongue? Never tried.
2.Lick your elbow? Physically Impossible.
3.Manipulate people easily? Never tried intentionally.
4.Sing well? I wish. Ask lina She HATES it :P
5.Open your eyes underwater? Yes.
6.Eat whatever you want and not have to worry? At times :P
7.Iceskate? Yep. Not sure bout the number of times ill fall tho :P
8.Sing in front of a crowd? Yes
9.Whistle? Yes. Stuffed round today.. wolf whistled at a staff member as a joke. and a customer looked at me strangely. i think he thinks im less :(
10.Be a bitch sometimes? Can be.
11.Walk in really high heels? YES.
12.Eat super spicy foods? Definately No.
13.Play an instrument? Yes. A few. Tho Jack of all trades :P
14.Block out what someone is saying if you don’t want to hear it? At times.
15.Act like you like somebody you hate? Yes.
16.Attract a lot of boys? I wouldnt know. Nor would I.
17.Skateboard? Dun have 1.
18.Sleep with lights on? Hallway light always on. But i dun mind pitch darkness.
19.Multitask? I wish sometimes.
20.Touch your nose with your tongue? Definate no.
21.Fall asleep easily in a car? Depends on tiredness level.
22.Catwalk? Dun think so. BUT would be fun to try :P
23.Do the 1,2 step? Huh?
24.Blow your nose? Yes.
25.Do the cottoneyed joe? What's this?
26.Tell when a guy is gay? Prob some fit in stereotype, some dont >.<
27.Play DDR and not fail? Definately Not.
28.Surf? Tried long time ago. cant remember result. tho most likely fell off :P
29.Make yourself cry? No.
30.Fit in your locker? Def no.
31.Taste the difference between coke and pepsi? Sometimes.
1.Been kicked?Yes but not hard or painful.. tho i feel sorry for some receivers of mine
2.Been punched? No not really
3.Been asked if you were brother's/sister's? yes.. well obviously i HAVE a sister..and obviously her friends ask if im her sista.. -.-" AND ive been asked if im some1 else's lil sister.. as in "IS (insert name) your brother?"
4.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend? No
5.Removed your clothing? well.. if i havent then HOW tha HELL would i change?
6.Been offered a cigarette? No
7.Been offered drugs/alcohol? Not Drugs.. but alcohol yes :D
8.Gone skinny-dipping? No.. well at least not to my memory
9.Walked in on someone while they were changing? Think i have.. cant remember who..
10.Walked in the rain without an umbrella or raincoat? most recent time.. mainly majority of time on music tour.. tho main memory was in Montreux wen the rain was worst with no shelter
11.Been outside between 3 am and 4 am with at least 6 other people? No
12.Lablled someone? huh ?
13.Been called a goth? No.
14.Bitch? Yes
15.Punk? No.
16.Prep? Prep?
17.Slut? Yes. Quite a few times.
18.Whore? No.
19.Hoe? No.
20.Sleazebag? No.
21.Douche? No.
21.Brat? Maybe behind my back when i was younger :P
22.Nerd? Not to my memory. Which these days is fading
23.Dork? No.
24.Wannabe? No.
24.Kissed someone from the same sex? No.
25.Played truth or dare? Yes
if so- taken a dare and successfully accomplished it? Strangely they tend to forget to give me dares since by the time its my turn ppl cant think of anything anymore :P
- taken a truth and actually told the truth? Yes.
26.Played spin the bottle? No.
27.Performed in some way in front of an audience of 100 or more? Yes
28.Pretended to someone on msn that you forgot an away message When you really just ignored them? No.
29.Talked behind a bestfriend's back? No.
30.Cursed while a teacher was standing right beside or behind you? Try not to curse.. well actually.. i try not to at times.. tho sometimes it jus comes out :P but hey teachers dont seem to be around :)
31.Seen a member of the opposite sex naked? Yes. Don't ask.
32.Lied to someone of the opposite sex to get closer to them? Well.. white lies or part truth ? :p but i dun think it was really to get closer to them..
33.Pretended to be scared during a movie so you could cuddle closer to someone? No.
34.Pretended to be bad at pool so someone you liked could "help" you? Well. i Was bad at pool.. still sorta bad.. but learning and No havent had "help"
35.Tanned completely naked? No.
36.Been to a nudist resort/beach/community? No, tho we nearly got to one during a p.e. walking along the beach lesson, we were told to stop before we reached the nudist beach. (thank god)
37.Gone through someone's stuff that you shouldn't have been going through? No.
38.Shoplifted? No.
39..Seen someone shoplift? Yes.
40.Punched someone? Hmm.. not really.. not punch punch.
41.Kicked someone? Yes, too many times.
42.Stolen from a teacher? Well. No.
43.Stolen from your school? Well sorta. didnt intend to but left it at home so literally "permanently" borrowed since i was in yr 7 and i cant go back to return it.
44.Cut class? Not really.
45.had an eating disorder?No.
46.Worn sunglasses on a shady day? Yes, in yr 9 when i had that random eye infection >.<
47.Been on a soccer team? Jus for p.e. in yr 9 WE WON ^^
48.Dived off a diving board? Yesss!
49.fallen off your bike? Yes. But too long ago.
50.Failed a subject? Yes. IC n GnT and maybe physics :(
One or the other?
1. Music/TV: TV
2. Guys/Girls: Both ? :P
3. Green/Blue: Blue
4. Pink/Purple: Pink
5. Sleep/Stay Up: Stay up
6. Summer/Winter: Summer
7. Spring/Fall: SPRING !!
8. Night/Day: Night
9. Hanging Out/Chilling: What's the diff? :S
10. Friends/Lovers: Both.
11. Cold/Warm: Warm.
12. Fast/Slow: Depends on what but prob fast.
13. New/Old: New
14. Dark/Light: Light
15. Sparkle/Shine: Shine.
16. Peach/Plum: Peach.
17. Apple/Orange: Both?
18. Laundry/Dishes: Laundry. I HATE DISHES
19. Hugs/Kisses: Both ^^ *sigh* tho you can have hugs from everyone ^^ so leaning more to hugs
20. Ketchup/Mustard: Ketchup
21. Glass Half full or Half empty: Half Full.
My Favourite?
1. Colour: BLUE.
2. Number: 12
3. Food: just food in general ^^
4. Non-alcoholic drink: Water
5. Alcoholic drink: Baileys.. well dun really have much of a choice at home now do i?
6. Snack: ANYTHING
7. Movie: dunno :S
8. Actor: None
9. Actress: None
10. TV Show: None
11. TV Channel: 10
12. Cartoon: None.
13. Disney characters: Mulan, Pluto ^^ Mickey n Mini
14. Song: Too Many
15. Singer: Dun have 1
16. Band: neither
17. Group: ditto
18. Sport: Most sports ^^
19. Book: Books are good.
20. Board Game: -
21. Card Game: Cheat, Big 2(cant even play that properly -.-"), Spoons. and that other random one oh yah peanut butter and jelly.
22. Smell: Babydoll, some fragrances from fragonard and Echo Woman as well as many more :P
23. Flower: Lotus :)
24. Magazine: -
25. Item of clothing: Jeans
26. Item of jewellery: Earrings, anklets and Necklaces
27. Time of the day: 8 pm
28. Day of the week: Fri
29. Week of the month: Does it really matter?
30. Month of the year: Feb :P
31. Place to be: "Home is where the heart is" Home would be the place to be :)
32. Thing to do in your spare time: MSN ?
33. Thing to do on the weekend: -
Do you..?
1.Cut yourself: No. Not purposely.
2.Kill people: WHY would i? No.
3.Plan on killing any one: Never did.
4.Hate a lot of people: Maybe some.
5.Like a lot of people: Yes.
6.Get grounded often: Never grounded
7.Yell a lot: Ask my family :P
8.Cry a lot: Read post below
9.Cry if your parents died: I'd be worried if i said No. Of Course I'd cry
10.Want to die: No.
11.Steal: No. Why would i?
12.Smoke: I'm not the 1 ruining/shortening my own life tho plz. dun smoke around me.
13.Go to church a lot: Well.. compulosory?
14.Love school: Once. a long time ago.
15.Wear dark colours: If it suits my mood.
16.Dye your hair: No. Not at all.
Randomness
1.Unwrap a starbust with your tongue? Never tried.
2.Lick your elbow? Physically Impossible.
3.Manipulate people easily? Never tried intentionally.
4.Sing well? I wish. Ask lina She HATES it :P
5.Open your eyes underwater? Yes.
6.Eat whatever you want and not have to worry? At times :P
7.Iceskate? Yep. Not sure bout the number of times ill fall tho :P
8.Sing in front of a crowd? Yes
9.Whistle? Yes. Stuffed round today.. wolf whistled at a staff member as a joke. and a customer looked at me strangely. i think he thinks im less :(
10.Be a bitch sometimes? Can be.
11.Walk in really high heels? YES.
12.Eat super spicy foods? Definately No.
13.Play an instrument? Yes. A few. Tho Jack of all trades :P
14.Block out what someone is saying if you don’t want to hear it? At times.
15.Act like you like somebody you hate? Yes.
16.Attract a lot of boys? I wouldnt know. Nor would I.
17.Skateboard? Dun have 1.
18.Sleep with lights on? Hallway light always on. But i dun mind pitch darkness.
19.Multitask? I wish sometimes.
20.Touch your nose with your tongue? Definate no.
21.Fall asleep easily in a car? Depends on tiredness level.
22.Catwalk? Dun think so. BUT would be fun to try :P
23.Do the 1,2 step? Huh?
24.Blow your nose? Yes.
25.Do the cottoneyed joe? What's this?
26.Tell when a guy is gay? Prob some fit in stereotype, some dont >.<
27.Play DDR and not fail? Definately Not.
28.Surf? Tried long time ago. cant remember result. tho most likely fell off :P
29.Make yourself cry? No.
30.Fit in your locker? Def no.
31.Taste the difference between coke and pepsi? Sometimes.
Bitching and Stealing
========================================
finishing this off..
but it was started a few days ago
========================================
something which i dun understand here..
y do ppl bitch?
and
Y do ppl steal?
ok in like those first world countries and stuff..
where ppl dun have anything to eat..
so they resolve to stealing i understand..
sorta..
but Y in our society?
mainly..
well in the suburbs around us?
ok..
now bitchin?
ugh..
hate it but then again so easy to do?
i jus hope i dun bitch that much
tho some ppl *shakes head*
but y would they do that?
hate? or jealousy? or...
i dunno..
=====================================
sorta lost the drift of things..
but ill try
=====================================
hmm realised i could slightly be bitchin bout ppl..
but im making a comment..
maybe thats what they as themselves are thinking?
and the thing of "bitching" labelled as a girl thing right?
-.-"
they still talk..
question: do i know enough guys to draw that conclusion
prob no..
*sigh*
but hey..
there are still words that go round..
Eg. "slut"
tho then again guys are most likely to be using em :P
but why is it that females more likely to bitch?
here's some of my thoughts?
a) we have need something to talk bout
b) we have a longer extent of want of talking in comparison to guys who tend to grunt alot.. (esp wen it comes to my relatives -.-")
c) we can talk whilst working.. its part of multitaskin :P
d) for some.. the thought of down troddening some1 else makes them feel empowered?
e) i said it before.. jealousy..
what is the point of this post?
i personally do not know..
oh well at least its finished :P
ne waiz
*hugz*
finishing this off..
but it was started a few days ago
========================================
something which i dun understand here..
y do ppl bitch?
and
Y do ppl steal?
ok in like those first world countries and stuff..
where ppl dun have anything to eat..
so they resolve to stealing i understand..
sorta..
but Y in our society?
mainly..
well in the suburbs around us?
ok..
now bitchin?
ugh..
hate it but then again so easy to do?
i jus hope i dun bitch that much
tho some ppl *shakes head*
but y would they do that?
hate? or jealousy? or...
i dunno..
=====================================
sorta lost the drift of things..
but ill try
=====================================
hmm realised i could slightly be bitchin bout ppl..
but im making a comment..
maybe thats what they as themselves are thinking?
and the thing of "bitching" labelled as a girl thing right?
-.-"
they still talk..
question: do i know enough guys to draw that conclusion
prob no..
*sigh*
but hey..
there are still words that go round..
Eg. "slut"
tho then again guys are most likely to be using em :P
but why is it that females more likely to bitch?
here's some of my thoughts?
a) we have need something to talk bout
b) we have a longer extent of want of talking in comparison to guys who tend to grunt alot.. (esp wen it comes to my relatives -.-")
c) we can talk whilst working.. its part of multitaskin :P
d) for some.. the thought of down troddening some1 else makes them feel empowered?
e) i said it before.. jealousy..
what is the point of this post?
i personally do not know..
oh well at least its finished :P
ne waiz
*hugz*
WARNING: LONG EMOTIONAL POST (#250)
ok..
lost my last post..
have to type it up again..
last thurs..
spent the day doing paperwork..
driving around getting this done that done..
and we stopped by the ct..
and we bought a pedometer for dad..
this morning i woke up early..
and found that he had left it so i thought..
hmm let me try it..
(as slightly inaccurate as it will be since its set for my dad)
stayin at home wouldnt really work..
so i decided to help out at the shop..
nothing really to do cept act as a messenger between the shop and resto..
good i guess walking increase pedometer :D
but there seemed so be something i noticed..
i always walked the front way..
that is along the st where there's lots of shops and restos..
and i realised..
many shops = many windows.
many windows = many reflections
AND I COULDNT STOP LOOKIN AT MYSELF IN THE REFLECTIONS
therefore today's question:
am i EXTREMELY self-conscious or jus SELF obssessed in they way i dress?
funny thing tho..
in the morning..
i neva care bout teh way i dress..
well not entirely true..
coz i dun always wanna look like a total hag
but i walk out the house with MINIMUM care of my image
===============================================
THANK god for recover post...
nearly had to restart a third time..
i jus realised that it was there -.-"
===============================================
ok back to waht i was talking bout..
-.-" lost the drift of things..
umm..
oh yah and whilst i was waiting for mum..
wen we were bout to go home..
it was a while before
i realised was staring at the reflection of myself on the car window
-.-"
worrying...
anyways..
since i dun feel like talkin taht anymore..
i just thought bout something
what is up with some ppl and their one tracked minds?
ok ok
there is the female multitasking thing
but hey..
u dun go and NEVER talk to some1..
then out of the blue talk to them
then ignore em after you get the info you want..
maybe i jus cant get over this topic.
but i seriously find it annoying
you dont not talk to some1 then go talk to them jus coz u need help.
ok a person should be helpful and all
but still
isnt it rude?!?!
get what u want..
then after that say bye and start ignoring them all over again?
*sigh*
im going round in circles..
and the blog post that i still havent published taht i spent days on..
since i had to keep starting it ova and ova
coz of the windows closing due to some error or the other..
i dunno what to do with it..
i dun feel like finishing it either..
and its jus gonna sit there..
oo this is my 250th post!!!
happy 250th post..
hmmm saddening my life is isnt it?
what else is there to talk bout..
its 4:21 in tha arvo..
and i bored to death..
my organic chem booklet is only half finished
and its the only subject ive started on..
ooo
heres something to talk of..
I CANT SLEEP
i dunno HUGE problems sleeping these days..
not the whole i cant sleep coz im thinking of some1 prob..
but more of i cant get to sleep
it thinketh that it could partly be stress..
stress of gettin things handed in etc..
not sure if everyone noes..
IM GOING TO TAIWAN!!!!
tho not a perfectly good thing...
since its 6 weeks of study in my SUMMER HOLIDAYS >.<
back to the sleep thing..
its weird coz like i wanna sleep...
and wen i try to sleep i think ...
i think of parents
i think of school
i think of life.
i think of my sister.. :S
i think of music
i think of annabel
i think of resto
i think of jane mann and the whole brain tumour ting
i think of the tragic things on the news
i think of EMBARESSING memories
i think of memories in general
i think of TOO many things..
and then somewhere along the way..
i drift into this random state where im still thinking..
but im also asleep.. but not asleep asleep if u noe wat i mean?
like im still conscious and thinking and all
but rested..
i dunno how to better say it..
then later on
i think of im gonna wake up
i think of no back to sleep
i think of no wake up
i think of back to sleep
i start aguing with myself whether or not to wake up !??!!?!
what tha?
and then if i continue sleeping..
i wake up later on..
still realising i havent really slept slept..
look at the clock and its O.o
FOUR AM
-.-"
and sometimes wen im in tah half thinkin sleeping thing..
my sister kiks the door
(her bed is now blocking the door..
therefore her leg can reach it)
and its this HUGE BOOM
and it wakes me up >.<
at like TWO AM
I CANT SLEEP
AGH!?!?!
and also..
ive noticed..
i sorta tear..
like i dun fully cry and bawl out and everything..
and its not the whole shruddering watery nose thing..
its jus tears that keep falling..
drip drip dripping..
falling
down down down
but i dunno y i cry?
*sigh*
there really isnt anything to cry about really..
nothing i feel emotionally saddened about...
jus this whole numbness when ever i think of things sad..
yet i "cry" wen im trying to sleep
a silent weep if you can call it that..
its a numbing weep..?
im really confused i guess.
and sometiems it feels like theres no1 one
round to talk bout anything to..
could be overall stress..
but i dunno
and i mean thinking too much...
really can literally drive you insane..
like you get all these mixed emotions..
going from one thought to another..
sorta goes from a dull lack of thinking on the computer..
to a numbing flood of thoughts and emotions..
plus the fact taht my sight is gettin worse due to spending my time
in front of the comp this whole hols..
i need a hug :'(
ah well..
like ive told so many
life goes on..
i can do fine by myself..
and jus go on as if nothing happens..
but what does all this end in but drifting??
and where is the drifting me ?
lack of study..
and the belief that ill get good marks even if i dun study..
which nowadays dun work that way..
well ive reached a conclusion i guess..
the source of my not studying..
but how DO you study?
you know?
sometimes thinking of somethings..
jus runs shivers up my back..
there's this cold feeling..
a lacking of something..
this coldness..
this strange alien feeling..
maybe its jus the loneliness.
its not like my sister cares
and dont you just love that quote..?
"you can be in a room full of people and still feel as lonely as ever"
i dunno if i really love it..
but it seems so true..
time passes..
time may change things..
but somethings never change..
some too fast
too fast to grasp..
but what caused the change?
what is the catalyst..
or the peservative?
time keeps turning
but us people caught within the spokes..
may be tossed around
swinging from one personality to another
or stuck at the bottom remaining unchanged at all
and dejavu?
i dream up these things..
and some of them come true.
question is..
if we were reincarnated..
maybe this life has happend before
and we were sent to correct something
is it that our dreams are meant to remind us that something WILL reoccur
or tha something should be prevented from happening?
are things we dream things that should happen or not?
as real as they feel in the dream?
*sigh*
like i said before.
thinking can drive you insane..
and i still..
need a hug...
have a good avo..
*hugz*
lost my last post..
have to type it up again..
last thurs..
spent the day doing paperwork..
driving around getting this done that done..
and we stopped by the ct..
and we bought a pedometer for dad..
this morning i woke up early..
and found that he had left it so i thought..
hmm let me try it..
(as slightly inaccurate as it will be since its set for my dad)
stayin at home wouldnt really work..
so i decided to help out at the shop..
nothing really to do cept act as a messenger between the shop and resto..
good i guess walking increase pedometer :D
but there seemed so be something i noticed..
i always walked the front way..
that is along the st where there's lots of shops and restos..
and i realised..
many shops = many windows.
many windows = many reflections
AND I COULDNT STOP LOOKIN AT MYSELF IN THE REFLECTIONS
therefore today's question:
am i EXTREMELY self-conscious or jus SELF obssessed in they way i dress?
funny thing tho..
in the morning..
i neva care bout teh way i dress..
well not entirely true..
coz i dun always wanna look like a total hag
but i walk out the house with MINIMUM care of my image
===============================================
THANK god for recover post...
nearly had to restart a third time..
i jus realised that it was there -.-"
===============================================
ok back to waht i was talking bout..
-.-" lost the drift of things..
umm..
oh yah and whilst i was waiting for mum..
wen we were bout to go home..
it was a while before
i realised was staring at the reflection of myself on the car window
-.-"
worrying...
anyways..
since i dun feel like talkin taht anymore..
i just thought bout something
what is up with some ppl and their one tracked minds?
ok ok
there is the female multitasking thing
but hey..
u dun go and NEVER talk to some1..
then out of the blue talk to them
then ignore em after you get the info you want..
maybe i jus cant get over this topic.
but i seriously find it annoying
you dont not talk to some1 then go talk to them jus coz u need help.
ok a person should be helpful and all
but still
isnt it rude?!?!
get what u want..
then after that say bye and start ignoring them all over again?
*sigh*
im going round in circles..
and the blog post that i still havent published taht i spent days on..
since i had to keep starting it ova and ova
coz of the windows closing due to some error or the other..
i dunno what to do with it..
i dun feel like finishing it either..
and its jus gonna sit there..
oo this is my 250th post!!!
happy 250th post..
hmmm saddening my life is isnt it?
what else is there to talk bout..
its 4:21 in tha arvo..
and i bored to death..
my organic chem booklet is only half finished
and its the only subject ive started on..
ooo
heres something to talk of..
I CANT SLEEP
i dunno HUGE problems sleeping these days..
not the whole i cant sleep coz im thinking of some1 prob..
but more of i cant get to sleep
it thinketh that it could partly be stress..
stress of gettin things handed in etc..
not sure if everyone noes..
IM GOING TO TAIWAN!!!!
tho not a perfectly good thing...
since its 6 weeks of study in my SUMMER HOLIDAYS >.<
back to the sleep thing..
its weird coz like i wanna sleep...
and wen i try to sleep i think ...
i think of parents
i think of school
i think of life.
i think of my sister.. :S
i think of music
i think of annabel
i think of resto
i think of jane mann and the whole brain tumour ting
i think of the tragic things on the news
i think of EMBARESSING memories
i think of memories in general
i think of TOO many things..
and then somewhere along the way..
i drift into this random state where im still thinking..
but im also asleep.. but not asleep asleep if u noe wat i mean?
like im still conscious and thinking and all
but rested..
i dunno how to better say it..
then later on
i think of im gonna wake up
i think of no back to sleep
i think of no wake up
i think of back to sleep
i start aguing with myself whether or not to wake up !??!!?!
what tha?
and then if i continue sleeping..
i wake up later on..
still realising i havent really slept slept..
look at the clock and its O.o
FOUR AM
-.-"
and sometimes wen im in tah half thinkin sleeping thing..
my sister kiks the door
(her bed is now blocking the door..
therefore her leg can reach it)
and its this HUGE BOOM
and it wakes me up >.<
at like TWO AM
I CANT SLEEP
AGH!?!?!
and also..
ive noticed..
i sorta tear..
like i dun fully cry and bawl out and everything..
and its not the whole shruddering watery nose thing..
its jus tears that keep falling..
drip drip dripping..
falling
down down down
but i dunno y i cry?
*sigh*
there really isnt anything to cry about really..
nothing i feel emotionally saddened about...
jus this whole numbness when ever i think of things sad..
yet i "cry" wen im trying to sleep
a silent weep if you can call it that..
its a numbing weep..?
im really confused i guess.
and sometiems it feels like theres no1 one
round to talk bout anything to..
could be overall stress..
but i dunno
and i mean thinking too much...
really can literally drive you insane..
like you get all these mixed emotions..
going from one thought to another..
sorta goes from a dull lack of thinking on the computer..
to a numbing flood of thoughts and emotions..
plus the fact taht my sight is gettin worse due to spending my time
in front of the comp this whole hols..
i need a hug :'(
ah well..
like ive told so many
life goes on..
i can do fine by myself..
and jus go on as if nothing happens..
but what does all this end in but drifting??
and where is the drifting me ?
lack of study..
and the belief that ill get good marks even if i dun study..
which nowadays dun work that way..
well ive reached a conclusion i guess..
the source of my not studying..
but how DO you study?
you know?
sometimes thinking of somethings..
jus runs shivers up my back..
there's this cold feeling..
a lacking of something..
this coldness..
this strange alien feeling..
maybe its jus the loneliness.
its not like my sister cares
and dont you just love that quote..?
"you can be in a room full of people and still feel as lonely as ever"
i dunno if i really love it..
but it seems so true..
time passes..
time may change things..
but somethings never change..
some too fast
too fast to grasp..
but what caused the change?
what is the catalyst..
or the peservative?
time keeps turning
but us people caught within the spokes..
may be tossed around
swinging from one personality to another
or stuck at the bottom remaining unchanged at all
and dejavu?
i dream up these things..
and some of them come true.
question is..
if we were reincarnated..
maybe this life has happend before
and we were sent to correct something
is it that our dreams are meant to remind us that something WILL reoccur
or tha something should be prevented from happening?
are things we dream things that should happen or not?
as real as they feel in the dream?
*sigh*
like i said before.
thinking can drive you insane..
and i still..
need a hug...
have a good avo..
*hugz*