commerce

in commerce atm...
got bout 45 minz b4 i have 2 go...
got notha performance... >.<

last nite i had tha mini harp performance... i did SO crap...

i kept stuffin up...

oh well...



but i guezz itd be heapz worse if i stuff up at tha joondalup eisteidford (how eva spell)...

we're up against st stephenz chior mainly... and chorale has pulled out...

i mean thatz good 4 us...

but then... that meanz that we as a skool prob not win 4 that section...
*sigh*

at least i miss out on skool... but then i also miss out on free dress day...

but then if i wz gonna dress up i wouldnt noe wat 2 wear ne waiz...

i hope mi harp teacha wont find out bout me performin as a choir 4 tha eistedford coz...

she wz liek encouragin 4 me 2 perform on tha harp there.. and tha onli reason she gave up...

wz that i told her that mi parentz wouldnt let me go 4 so much competition....

and now i'm goin 2 go sing...

oh well...

durin tha rehersal thiz mornin... it seemed like every single one of her correctionz were aimed at me... oh well... i neva said i wz good at singin... i jus love 2 sing :D



wat else??? oh in mathz jus b4.. i couldnt believe it... ms bayley had her comp on... and had windowz media player on... so i thought she mite play some music... she told us that she'd play some music on tha comp... turned out 2 be HYMNS!!! -.-" i mean realli... i wouldnt have even minded if it were classical music... BUT they were hymnz... tha onez that we sung 4 college sunday!!! but by some otha random vocalist...



hmm...

maybe i'll jus leave earli...

tara jus told tha teacher we leavin in 17 minz...

wat 2 say for bout 15 minz???

lalala...

scar it tha name of tha song i think wz renew mi heart lord...
oh welll mite as well log offnow...
no point in typin ne morez since i cant think of ne thin 2 say...
bye
*hugz

*sigh* me feelin realli sick... i mean durin p.e. i wz liek seein lil white thingyz floatin everywhere... we played modcrosse... and i ran in2 elissa a few timez... kat got hit by tha ball a few timez as well lolz.... and then afta she asked me 2 look at her head 2 see if she wz bleedin... so cute^^ i cant believe itz thurz... itz like tha time iz goin very slowly yet not as slow as i think... sorta fast and slow... oh well... at least i gettin heapza music practise done.... damn i g2g... bye *hugz

life...

thoughtz thoughtz endlezz thouhtz...
sometimez i guezz wen i realli get bored...
endlezz thoughtz jus run thru mi brain..
and it startz wonderin...
or it could jus be lack of sleep...
oh well...
main point...
i can realli get a headache 4m all thiz thinkin... and yet... wen i do type out mi thoughtz... most of tha time mi comp accidentalli closes it stopz respondin...




gar...
wen u said u me 2 rite in para...
did u mean para as in divided up..
or like chunkz of ritin that goez all tha way across tha page...?
oh well...
i do half half...
and pplz who read can decide...




so ye...most of tha time... tha thoughtz i rite down doez get lost... so somtimez it seemz like there iz no point in ritin mi thoughtz... tha effort 2 actualli type it out iz lost... *sigh* yet it'd be easier 2 type out than actualli rite it out in a diary... pluz itz somethin i can do wen i'm at skool and wen i'm bored... i wonder wat mi life'd be like wit out tha net ne morez... prob i'd be bak 2 watchin tv every nite... doin ne thin 2 avoid doin hw... i guezz itz liek a way of escapin tha thoughtz that come across in mi mind.... i mean realli... sometimez i feel so depressed jus sittin and thinkin... thoughtz runnin thru mi mind... but then i realli love jus sittin down and talkin 2 pplz or jus 2 sit and listen 2 pplz... but then i'm realli crap at comfortin pplz wen they sad... all i can do is jus sit and be wit em in their time of sadness i guezz... i wonder if that realli iz enough... *sigh* but then i guezz havin some1 wit u wen ure feelin realli bad iz good... but then itz like they dont understand... *sigh*




oh well.... hmmm... opportunitiez in life come and go... i guezz sometimez if u dont sieze em... they sometimez neva come bak... but then if u realli wanna... but then wen i think bak 2 thingz i wanted 2 do... itz like tha opportunitez have gone... i mean thinkin bout it soon our high skool livez will be ova... most pplz would have achieved somethin... but then wen i think bout wat i've done... itz like there iz nothin... nothin worth rememberin... cept tha happi daiz i had wit friendz... sometimez itz enough but somez reflectin bak itz as if it wznt enough afta all... everythin wz wasted....




i mean sometimez... itz like there iz no point at all... but then sometimez life iz like thiz whole competition... i mean even i mi famili itz liek competition... therez tha educational part.. and then jus parentz who have siblin rivalry and like are comparin children 2 compare raisin skillz... i mean realli... itz like so competitive as if we have 2 strive 2 be tha most favourd child and grandchild... i mean... i even had 2 get up and sing in chinese 4 tha whole family jsu 2 show how betta am i am... i mean i udnerstand if they wanna be proud and all that... but still... itz like therez heapza pressure... 2 be 'perfect...' i mean on mi mumz side itz like pretty eazi... since i am like tha eldest /child daughter of tha onli daughter... so ye... but like on mi dadz side itz like full competative... i mean they've even gone down 2 if they marry well and blah blah blah... i mean on mi mumz side mi couz iz gettin married soon... and like itz actualli quite interestin that shez gettin married tha same as mi mum wz married and i am like tha same age as she wz wen mi mum got married.... ne waiz... like afta her on mi mumz side therez liek only bout 3 more and then itz like 2 me... and every1 will be lookin at me... i mean even like mi lil couzin jessica noticed that... i mean at chineze skool like durin one of tha recesses she siad 2 me... on our side/ mi dadz.. therez liek 2 more and then pplz will be lookin at me 2 get married... i mean itz suddenly a pressure 2 get married.. i mean last time i saw pplz they were askin if i have a bf yet... *sigh* but that wz like sometime last yr or tha yr b4... but then it may not be me on thiz side coz therez still inge and vincent... but on mi mumz side... therez like thiz gap... and itz like jus me only... *sigh* i think i'll think bout thiz sometime later...




wat else...? starz starz starz... me makin paper starz.... sometimez i wonder... destiny... iz there such a thing??? do we need 2 work 2 meet tha destiny ritten 4 us??? or do we jus float along life wit tha destiny leadin us along tha way... or choicez... do choicez affect destiny??? or are our choicez made accordinly 2 wat destiny has ritten out 4 us??? or iz it jus that there iz no such thing as destiny... and our future iz all tha consequencez of our choicez??? *sigh* r these q meant 2 be answered??? or r we put here 2 answer our own questionz... of our dear inquisitive mind....? *sigh* and then... wat bout love??? r u destined 2 be wit a particular person??? or do u jus come across some 1 and then doez wat happen meant 2 happen??? whether they stay 2getha or drift apart... wat bout friendship??? do pplz jus "clik" or do u have 2 actualli develop a trust... as u talk more and get 2 noe eacha otha??? *sigh* life long questionz i guezz... questionz that appear in mi head wen i have nothin 2 do... jus lettin mi mind wonder....
*sigh*

mi time on tha net iz up...
nite nite
*hugz

F*ck... -.- i lost mi post 4 like tha 5th time 2 day.. -.-" i realli havin bad day... maybe i jus cant eva take tha time 2 say wat i thinkin... *sigh* maybe if i remember... i'll rite it out 2moro nite... hopefulli i'll remember... gettin late ne waiz... but i'll start ritin it... if i dotn fini i fini 2 moro nite... actualli realli cant be stuffed ne morez... i'll get mi thoughtz 2 pplz one day... i have a whole life time 4 that... well nite nite *hugz*

Commerce

in commerce...

*sigh*

nothin 2 do...

hmmm our class is gettin ivaded by yr 12z...

oh well...

hmm...

i realli wonder...

should i realli be that truthful on mi blog...

so open...

i mean i could put on a javascript like gar...

but then i'd actualli have 2 go round tellin pplz wat tha word iz 2 get thru and stuffz...

hmmm...

i havent put in tha archivez bak in2 thiz blog...

should i???

but then therez not realli ne point in it...

pplz are actualli doin work now...

maybe i should...

or maybe i jus cant be stuffed...

*sigh*

2 tired i guezz...

i slept at like 11pm last nite...

but then for tha first time...

i'm actualli REALLI sleepy durin tha day...

ususalli by recess i'm fine...

and interestinly i had slept at 11...

which iz 1 hour earlier than tha time i sleep these daiz...

maybe i juss need 2 get heapza rest....

or maybe i slept realli bad last nite...

*sigh*

oh well...

damn...

i have piano/guitar 2 day...

lookz like i wont be gettin 2 sleep afta skool...

-.-

i mean i could jus lie down and fall asleep rite now...

... zzzZz...zzzzzzZzzzzzz...zzzzzzZzzzzzz....zzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzz
so sleepy...

and there iz like nothin 2 do...

so i jus have 2 sit here and type out wat i'm thinkin atm...

hmmm...

s+e next...

gr8...

get 2 fall asleep listenin 2 econ...

i mean mr o iz a realli nice teacha..

but he doeznt force us 2 hand stuff in..

or ne thing like that...

jus 2 slack...

so all i eva do is jus sit and talk...

or jus fall asleep....

and itz like last period so y not???

i can bearly keep mi eyez open...

hmmm..

wat 2 do afta piano/guitar???

prob 2 dark..

if not maybe i could go and rollerblade...

and gett realli hurt..

coz of mi lack of balance...

but i guezz itz like tha onli way of keepin mi sista entertained...

and stop her 4m annoyin me...

but then if itz liek 2 dark it juz feelz dangerouz...

pluz i doubt i even have a sense of balance so how???

i prob will end up wit heapza injuriez...

i mean tha scar 4m last time haz bearly gone yet...

-.-

now i jus got a patch of linez on tha side of mi leg...

oh well...

or...

wat else could i do???

i noe let mi sista play simz and i could sleep!!!

nah...

i'll prob end up goin online and jus talk 4 a while...

maybe type in thiz blogg 4 a lil while..

and then mi parnetz will come home...

and then i'll ahve 2 sleep ne waiz...

hmmm...

strange..

some of tha blog posts are sided in tha middle...

and some are jus 4m tha left...

i wonder y...

oh well...

damn...

i 4got 2 check tha timez 4 mi music lesson 2 moro...

oh well...

at least i got tha discus thingy sorted out...

i got so freaked out thiz mornin..

tha coach 4 discus came 2 me 2 ask me 2 go see her...

and then it wz bout trainin and y i didnt turn up...

then luckkily i checked my diary and i wont be here 4 tha IGSSA athz carnival...

yay!!

that meanz i dont have 2 compete which meanz no trainin...!!! yay!!!

i still cant believe i got in in tha first place...

21.05 m iznt realli a throw i could do...

musta been a huge mistake....

itz gettin funni...

i remember bak wen i just started postin...

there wz like nothin 2 talk bout...

now i jus rite wat i'm thinkin atm...

b4 i wz alwaiz choosin wat 2 include...

i guezz i wz much more cautious bak then...

oh well....

pplz change...

therez nothin 2 do...

commerce iz so borin...

our orderz have sorta stopped comin in...

oh well...

all we can do iz jus hope 2 sell more 4 small business day...

but thatd mean heapza work...

i mean our whole group sorta slacked off...

all cept lian of course...

*sigh*

y do i sigh so much more theze daiz???
thoughtz???
plauged mind...???

hmmm...

i jus noticed..

wenever i find timez where i sorta feel bad..

i jus usualli talk 2 some1...

or type in thiz blog...

if not i seem2 go and practise mi music...

itz sorta like a form of strezz release...

or sorta like somethin 2 think bout 2 stop me 4m thinkin that much...

time...

a precious resouce which we cannot hold to...

we may wish for it 2 go faster...

or slower...

but it jus goez on at itz own pace...

y?!?!!?!?!?!?

wen i seem 2 have tha worst time..

it jus slowz down 2 tha slowest possible rate...

and wen i'm actualli enjoyin life..

it jus fliez by....

and wen u think bak bout it...

it jus sadenz me 2 think bout all that time that i may have lost...

as if i wasted it....

*sigh*

need somethin else 2 think bout...

itz startin 2 get depressin again...

i wonder....

i realli wonder y life goez on tha way it doez..

wen u wanna spend heapza time wit pplz...

itz seemz limited..

as if there iz no such thing as time...

as if everythin has no purpose...

as if we're jus driftin along...

waitin 4 our ending...

*sigh*

okz...

need new thought soon b4 i drown in depression...

er...

holidaiz..

hmmm..

wat comin up..

tha rs!!!

but then thatz spendin heapza money...

i mean realli....

so much can be spent...

hmmm..

mi parentz were thinkin of havin a stall there thiz yr..

should they???

i guezz if they did i'd be gettin free entrance as alwaiz...

but then i'd be workin..

but then i'd still get 2 go round a lil...

waste...

waste of money...

tha rs iz such a waste of money...

but then we still want 2 go...

and there realli iz no main difference...

4 minz till end of class...

a class i wasted time doin nothin but typin out mi thoughtz...

oh well...

bye

*hugz

new blogskin

okz...
afta agez of edittin...
i've changed tha template/blogskin...
wateva...
itz more condensed...
less spacious...
but then u dont have 2 scroll so far 2 tha rite...
tha old template wz sorta borin me...
even afta all that effort...
2 work out how 2 get tha snow 2 work...
oh well...

ne waiz...
had college sunday 2day...
annoyin day where they decided 2 have a church...
sermon thingy on a sun...
2 make us go 2 skool in uniform...
and giv em money 2 give 2 charity...
2 make it look like tha skoolz realli charitable...
*shakez headz*
i mean how much money doez our skool have???
y not jus use that money???
but no...
our skool iz like a business....
have 2 get profitz outta our parentz....
and waste it on serviettez wit tha skool logo on it...
and random itemz which we dont need...
such as those random balloonz...
and yo-yoz...
i mean who wit a rite mind would want a yoyo...
wit tha skool logo on it...???
ugh...
and wat else do they have???
stupid bookmarkz....
and random pamphletz....
i mean itz a whole marketin thing...
and wat r we???
as studentz we are sorta tha productz that they're marketin...
-.-"
and yet we are bound by their rulez....
and we get nuffin...
no bloody aircon in ne of tha roomz...
otha than tha RC...
-.-"
and there wz tha bloody shirt incedent...
y did mr lee have 2 sign that contract...
4 bout 7yrz worth of that material???
i mean i noe tha yr 12z want their individuality...
y not find some otha privilidge?
i hate tha colour green...
y doez our skool make tha most stupid desicionz???
i mean wznt tha uniform blu b4 then they changed it...
jus 2 suit that green and gold tie???
i mean tha WHOLE uniform jus 4 one tie...
*takez a breath in*

hmmm....
betta talk bout somethin else...
b4 i bore every1...
so we had college sunday...
and it fini round 11:30...
garz dad took us 2 tha ct...
me dia and gar walked round 4 a while...
ate lunch down a tha food hall....
then went shoppin...

me and dia bought similar skirtz 4m sportzgal...
but then mine $10 cheaper...
hehe
mine wz denim and diaz i cant remember...
walked down 2 diva...
were bout 2 buy some earringz...
gar and i stayed in tha store..
and dia went 2 get her jap exchange sistaz...
(cant remember their namez... -.-")
they came bak...
and we sorta walked round....
took em 2 some souvenir placez...
so that they could buy prezziez 4 pplz....

walked round 4 bit longer...
well...
until 5pm...
gar went home...
me and dia and 2 jap exchange pplz went by train...
got bak 2 claremont...
and dia and em walked off somewhere...
and i walked bak 2 hj...
and jus waited 4 mum 2 pick me up...

so ye...
thatz all thatz happend 2day...
at least we all bought at least one thing....

these daiz...
thinkin bout it...
we're actualli startin 2 fit in2 tha stereo type of a typical teenager...
interestin...
but then not entirely fittin....

hmmm...
no 1 2 talk 2...
most tha pplz online are either bz...
or away...
-.-"
wat iz up wit that on a sun nite???
or maybe jus gettin their hw done...
unlike me...
and i dunno...
tha rest of tha otha pplz i dont feel like talkin 2...
no offence if ure readin.....
me jus bein truthful...

i wonder y tha truth hurt sometimez...
i noe itz tha whole thing that u see wat u dont wanna...
but then y dont we wanna noe tha truth???
see tha truth???
y do we wanna hide away in our lil worldz...
thinkin that every thin iz good...
jus as we want...
y cant we as pplz jus accept that there iz bad...
and jus try 2 resolve it instead of igronin it...
but i guezz...
thru ignorance we gain tha bliss...
of jus not noein there iz a bad side...
of our big bad world...

but i guezz...
there iz tha whole balance theory...
where they say there iz a balance...
for good and evil....
and jus lucki thingz and unlucky...
but iz there a balance for everythin???
if thiz wz tru...
would that mean for every good deed done...
and a bad deed may occur????
or every bad deed done a good occurz...???
or doeznt it happen at all???
maybe deedz good or bad occur...
because some1 choosez 2 perform it???
or doez it happen by chance...
or destiny???

and then they also say...
knowledge iz power...
but then...
if thiz iz so...
then would be ignorant and not learnin ne thing....
leave u defenseless and blissful???
or iz it that ignorance iz talkin bout not bein observant???
but then by observin do u not learn???
and by learnin u gain knowledge...
which inturn iz power accordin 2 tha sayin...
so...
wat doez it all mean???
do tha quotez contradict???
or do they all tie in 2getha???
iz there a greater picture we have yet 2 see???

and then i wonder...
do i reveal that much bout mi self in tha way i post???
do i actualli say that much bout me and pplz round me???
god...
i think i startin 2 get a headache...
suddenly so much thinkin...
-.-"

i need 2 think of stuff 2 rite...
i dunno...
but sometimez it feelz like thiz has turned in2 mi diary...
so much easier 2 rite in thiz...
than tha diary i have...
i guezz it goez along wit tha convenience thing...
hmmm...
mi thoughtz so borin 2 read...

oh well...
gettin late..
nite nite
*hugz