It's All in the Mind

You know I was thinking today about depression and the feeling depressed...

So what do I know about it?
It's a chronic disease which has high burden on society and on a person's quality of life.

It's prevalence globally is on the rise and you can get drugs that are supposed to help you manage it through changing your biochemical balance in the brain.

But we don't quite seem to know enough about how it comes about other than high stress levels and feelings.

I know I blame alot of it on PMS... But it's true I have huge mood swings.

I find it amusing... You don't really take things in until it truly hits you close to home. I was discussing with my collegues (ooo I feel so pro saying that... No it's just work colleagues) about how depression is largely affecting alot of her friends who are post menapausal and that it seems that pill popping of anti-depressants is a total norm.

She's very physically active, taking part in triathlons and such which means that it doesn't really affect her.

I had also recently read an article on how there is a lack of satisfaction in people in current society because of the conveniece of life. How without the struggle to attain a goal we become less appreciative of what we have.

A further idea is also that as humans, for the development of fine motor skills, a large proportion of our brain is dedicated to the hands and that this area is closely linked to the pleasure centre of the brain. As there is a decrease use of fine motor skills in everyday life, it is believed that we are less content.

So these are ideas that suggest as to why we may have lowered happiness levels. The time spent with family nowadays is highly decreased. Children too are growing up too fast in my own beliefs.

I feel so disgusted when I see the sexualisation of children in their primary school years even worse in children even younger. I feel so sad when I hear about the people who lose their first time when they're drunk, that they were dumped the day after or sleep around.

Not that I'm saying I'm mightier than thou or that shun them that they're not pure. I'm not saying that I deny the socially accepted norm but I feel a sense of pity. It's ok if to say you've done it and not regretted it but I say I feel sad and pity for those who do.

It's only going to be as special as you make it, just like eevery other thing in life. But the question is that since when did the brightness in life disappear; it just doesn't excite you as much as much as it did before.

Where did the sparkle just fade to? Is it that you don't appreciate it anymore? You take it for a given because that's the social norm and that every other person does it or have it too. And since it doesn't shine and that it's just going to be that way from now on... Are you just going to fall further?

Or is it expectations? Have you been framed and boxed into a particular way? That you can never meet their expectations or your very own? That you've tried but it keeps falling out.

The bare minimum you can keep up is that same mask. Everyday you put it on and for that moment it merges with your skin, it melts in, integrates and things get pushed back yet don't disappear... Yet it's a fine line that is being followed.

There are cracks and splits all the way through and at any moment, every personal nudge gives rise to more of the sadness pushed back to seep out. To just keep holding on it's another task in the daily schedule of things to do. Although you can totally immerse yourself in the things you enjoy, as soon as you surface it's as if nothing's changed.

There isn't much that can be done until the underlying issue is completely resolved and there is closure... However at the end of it all you can sit down and wonder what it was all for; those born into the great can seek for normalcy whilst the average try to aim for the great and we all end up trying to get what we don't have.

But what of those in the middle? Are they content to remain at that point?Are they even able to sustain the balance or end up slipping to the grips of either extreme?

For what is the balance we need to be the best we are; for ourselves, for our families, for our community?

What is it that we live for?
Self gratification?
Our duty?
Our morals?
Our faith?
Our love?
Our beauty?
Our youth?
Our dream?
Our fantasy?
Our collective whole?
Or is it that we live to exist?
To prove our existence and make a mark?
For what mark will there be without the legacy?
If there is none to pass it on there is nothing to pass on.

We exist because there is a future potential.
For without that, why would you live another day.
If there is no hope then there is no need to hold on because it can be so much easier to give up if the only other option has no meaning... And it is meaning that gives us a purpose to strive forward to the next moment.

You know I think I've found it again, that voice of mine inside my head. I welcome it as it fills my head as I type... The words that fill my mind and this moment in cyberspace(well more like my iPhone atm... no net available). This is my bloggie and this is my existence

*hugs* & love

-Del
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Long Time Mo See

Heellllllllooooo
hmmm my dear bloggie
it's been a while hasn't it
rather lately it's been a while nearly everytime :(

So why the sudden return?
Coz I miss theeeeeee
And well when I vent I think
So it's good for everyone right ?
Well cept for those who hear me grumble n moan in complaints then read it all again

So yes...
I got an iPhone so with the new app maybe you'll be hearing more from me.

I was thinking rather than continual splurges of text the minimal aim will be 3 best things of the day.

So here goes:
Good things about today?
-my group proposal and presentation is over
-I've found this app
-I woke up from a happy dream n actually for the first time in a while felt refreshed
-getting some exercise in
-walk with mum through uni grounds

Well that's it for now until I have better content for discussion

Random thought today:
Why is it that I dreamt of you to soothe my heavy heart?

*hugs* & love

-Del
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