nother day went by today
and i found my self yet again
as with countless occasions since uni started
walking through the rain
just letting it pour down on me..
whilst i willingly continued on
without any attempt at sheltering myself against it
mmm.. i HATED it when i used to get caught in the rain..
tho.
nowadays.. some how i just dont mind
and just continue to bear it and walk right through
walking at the same pace..
as if it weren't there
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you know.
talking about blogs to people
about how before it was nearly always about
what had happened through the day
giving every single detail
onto the internet..
thinking that someone out there
would actually care to waste their time reading away
at what you had just done at school that day
from going from one class to the next
about how much one teacher may have annoyed you
or in some cases like mine
about how boring school life was
i'd never actually thought that maybe
no one does actually bother to care about
the EVERY SINGLE DETAIL OF YOUR LIFE
the universe revolved around me back then
or at least it seems to have seemed so..
(cant remember what it was like back then as well anymore)
but anyways like the fact that
i never gave a thought to such a thing
it would never have occured to me..
this time last yr
that in the timeframe of two days
i could have so much exposure to highschool times
all over again
back then..
thinking that yeah being the last year of school
and the pessimistic but close to realistic thoughts
that our friendships weren't strong enough to last
that we wouldnt keep in contact at all
and with the new friends made..
we'd quickly drift apart and become faces in the crowd
and so.
with that mentality.. i was amazed.
yep in two days...
it was
helen, tegan, kali, louise, katie,
ada, fong-yeng, melissa,
scarlet, jade, div, liz, mona, kevin, sarah ng,
and on top of that?
MLC centenary fete..
what does that mean?
my sister invited to me to go..
and yep. an early arvo spent back at high school again
chatting to forma and ann
and well hanging around with my sister n her friends
since i was bussing with her home.
highlight of the day?
seeing MR LEE dressed up as a clown
but.. seeing some teachers
it just reminded me that once again
with our belief that the world revolves around us
how much you refuse to believe
that you didnt leave an impression on some people
its sorta sad i guess.
but at the same time.
what can you really expect for an old teacher to remember
a student who was near invisible in class?
with the large number of students going through every year
it sorta ok i guess.. that people's memories get fuzzy
and well they dont have to recognise you..
but with the selfimportance one may feel
i guess knowing that you're remembered by someone
is a good feeling. and to have been forgotten..
what can i say but the fact that its understandable
and its nothing if its not really that much of a loss
less you knew them well.. which i didnt.
with teachers i guess its happened enough times
it shouldnt be a surprise anymore
but anyways.
with the number of people ive seen in the last two days
getting home to facebooking..
its not really surprising that
i started flicking through people's fotos
people who i used to know..
or least thought i did..
and one thing that struck me
was this trivial thing...
this one particular individual who was so beautiful
had such a strange thing when she smiled
i dont know. but there's something in the face
that gave me the feeling she wasnt happy
least that or
it was a signature grimace she made for every pic
and i guess in the end.
the thing that puzzles me is
how someone could make a smile look non-smile-y
its like.. a smile with a hint of sorrow
or insincerity...? :S
i dunno.. it just seemed really weird
i guess for me.. its hard to grasp
that a smile which is a warming bright friendly emotion
something that represents happiness n sincerity
and yet.. it just seems that this person
went n completely took it and threw it in a blender
and well what came out was...
just not the same effect..
not to say it looks bad..
its just sort of looks awkward or strange
least to me that is.
mm think its time to publish
and to sleep
nite nite
*hugs*
