skool - s+e

meant 2 be researchin on the cold war 4 common task..
but im takin a quick break ^^
itz makin me think 2 much and i think im startin 2 develop a headache...

nothin happend ova tha w/e..
lina went 2 anotha sleep ova..
and on sun wen she came bak mi mum, mi sista and i were close to non speaking terms...
coz each person had their own reason 2 be pissed off at some 1 else..
and i nearly burst out in tearz liek 3 timez...
coz mi mum wz worried bout mi sista all nite wen she wz at tha sleepova...
and so she called lina at 12:30 am..
and lina got pissed coz she didnt believe that mum couldnt trust her..
and wen lina got bak she wz pissed off at me 4 not fixin tha prob on her comp
while she wz away so that tha net connection worked..
and so i went 2 do it 4 her and wit out ne wordz...
she jus kiked me outta tha room once it worked fine >.<>.<
i mean realli...? wz that neccessary?
and coz lina wz bein so mean wen mi mum started lecturin me i tried 2 breathe properly and talk in a nice tone (coz if i didnt then i'd end up gettin tha "dont talk 2 me int hat tone of voice" lecture) cept it didnt work..
and mi mum took it as if i raised mi voice at her..
and sounded all hurt..
*sigh*
i didnt mean 2 make her sad and pissed off...
oh wellz..
but i guezz most of itz ova...

end of class fini later..

.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~. l8r on at home.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.

*sigh*
sometimez i think bout pplz and wat they do and think...
and i wonder...
do some pplz do wat they do coz they feel insecure...?
like tha way they act is a result of their own inner fear..?

some pplz seem so proud...
and yet wen u get 2 noe them u find out and realise...
itz all jus a mask... to hide away their own insecurites..
itz as if they feel that by actin tha way they do they make themselvez more superior...
betta than otherz and by doin that makin em seem so "perfect"
i guezz..
like they're all bold and careless of everythin...
and yet..
if u realli think bout pplz...
they build up this whole facade..
jus 2 hide their "imperfections" (if u can sorta call it that)

but then there may jus be pplz who are jus tha way they are..
and there may not be a facade at all...
and most pplz accept that...
but i dunno y wen i see some pplz and later on..
wen i think bak bout em...
tehy all seem 2 have some troubled mind or seomthin...
(or it could jus be mi imagination...)
or maybe i jus like 2 sympathise 4 some pplz...
but then maybe tha world realli isnt that much of a sad place...

iz tha world realli a bad place, good place or a place of balance...?
iz there a "big BAD world out there?"
iz there a good side of tha world...?
iz there both..?
(-.-" i sound like some random naive outsider who's been wrapped up in cotton wool all their life...)

i went out 2 tha resto 2 nite...
and i saw one of tha employee's son's...
and i felt so sad...
like how bad would it be if i were their parent..
(btw he'z aged 5 and seemz 2 be mentalli not disabled but like i dun wanna use tha word but sorta retarded >.< )
i mean hez 5 and all he doez is look at u and drool...
and he smiles and everythin..
but he refuses 2 talk..
either that or he dunno how 2..
and he dun wanna eat...
so his mum has 2 like force feed him
and like he refuses 2 hold ne thin..
and all he does is wonder round and look at u and smile and drool..

like maybe he feelz happi bout his life atm..
but how bad would life be later on..?
would he stay that way 4 eva..
*sigh*

and then i think..
how sad i would feel if that were mi own child...?
i mean itz bad enough 2 be a parent wit some child or teen...
wat bout 1 that wz mentalli disadvantaged..?
how heartbreakin would that be..?
oh wellz...
but then i dun think i wanna have ne kidz wen i grow up...
but then again..
thingz may change ...
till then i guezz ...
dun realli need 2 think bout that...

i wonder sometimez...
bout future....
wat would happen..?
would i stuff up tee..?
would i end up goin 2 uni..?

ugh...
gettin late..
g2g sleep
nite nite
*hugz*