fini chinese skoolz 4 tha term 2day...
and got reportz bak...
*sigh*

mi sistaz gigglin and typin at tha same time
at her comp again...
i wonder wat she rote thiz time...
betta not be like last time...
-_-"

i got mi chinese resultz bak...
all a's execpt for 2 b's...
*sigh*
i'm gettin worse...
time wz i used 2 get some a+'s...
oh well..
i did skip some classes...
but then...
i doubt they'd of done that much durin that itme...
oh well..
y do i care?

we had class 1st period...
then spent 2nd period singin...
3rd period we had a mini party...
thanx 2 tha teacher who paid...
and raymond who went and bought tha stuffz...
but then no point ritin it here is it???
oh well..

so ye..
we sat outside..
listenin 2 music and jus eatin junk food...

then aftawardz...
bout 1pm...
mum picked us up.... (1 hour late)
oh well... she bz...
and we went 2 harbour town...
walked round bit...
then went home at 5pm...

interestin tho that we didnt have 2 pay tha parkin fee...
tha parkin pplz gave us these otha ticketz...
and we didnt have 2 pay...
do they usualli do that?
oh well...
life goez on...

i bought anotha bag...
and guess wat colour??
bluuuuuu!!!!

hmm...
wat else happendz?

damn..
g2g sleepz..
nite nite
*hugz

these daiz i think i think bout life 2 much..
some timez life is so bad...

so many thingz happenz...
i mean soon time upz...
and fini high skool...
i mean itz already end of semester 1 ...
so FAST!!!!

and then on top of that...
coz mi parentz so bz..
i have 2 look afta mi sista as well...
i ask her 2 do thingz..
and she jus ignorez..
for me it jus getz realli hard..
i mean mi mum tellz me 2 make sure i look afta her...
and stuffz...
and then i ask her mi self and she ignorez it completely..
and then i ask her again...
and again...
and again..
and by then i'm realli pissed off..
so i end up shoutin...
and she thinks i'm bein mean 2 her on purpose...
-_-"
and then on top of that...
mi mum comez home...
ask me y not ready or wateva...
and then i cant say ne thing...
MI resposibility...
bla bla bla...
and so mi mum start 2 lecture...
and then wen lecture...
i start gettin annoyed...
on tha fact that i have 2 keep tellin mi sista off...
and then i end up shoutin sometimez at mi mum...
or most of tha time...
i end up sighin repeatedly...
and then mi mum startz believin i'm pissed at her..
and startz off on a lecture how i cant be pissed at her..
and mi sista totalli getz forgotten...
no trouble 4 her...
jus me...
y alwaiz me??!?!??!??!?!
and then tha whole family practicalli getz pissed..
so much tension at home...
-_-"

and then somtimez wen i'm out at tha resto...
and this sorta thing happenz..
i get an extra set of lecturez...
-_-"
mi grandma hearz tha lecturez and joinz in...
and wat can i say?
i jus have 2 listen...
listen and say ok...
so much...
i jus cant take it ne morez...
gettin 2 much...

damn..
run outta time 2 fini wat i wanna rite wat i say again...
i gotta stop chattin whist ritin mi posts...
-_-"
nite nite

ugh...
feel so bad...
i jus got bak 4m swimmin at beatty park....
*sigh*
now mi eyez have gone fuzzie..
i can bearly see...
i think there wz 2 much chlorine in tha water....
and plus on top of that mi sinuses are blocked
and i'm developin a headache...
god i feel sick...

omg i've had such a bad day...
i mean i wz practicalli fine until english...
i wz sittin there...
and then got so bored...
i started thinkin bout watz comin up and everythin as well as mi life atm...
then i thought bout how much time i've got...
and then slowly it jus got 2 much 4 me...
i dunno...
i started gettin so stressed...
and then i started hyperventalatin... ?.?
and then there wz like this full on panik attack...
at least i got betta...
but ye..

and then afta skool i practicalli burst in2 tearz...
2 much pressure i guess...
i mean i'm practicalli bz every aftanoon...
and i jus cant be stuffed wit hw ne morez...
coz it jus pile upz...
and i jus want some free time 2 mi self...
jus 2 maybe go outside for a walk or somethin..
itz jus 2 much stuffz goin on at tha same time
and i find that i end up jus practicalli fallin apart..

or it coulda jus been pms...
but i dunno...
itz jus 2 much pressure and expectationz..
no fun at all realli...
but i guess that for once i spoke openly 2 mi mum
since agez...
she 2 bz...
and ye...
afta her many suggestionz of me not eatin properly
or not sleepin rite..
but then...
how could that relate 2 me feelin like there are 2 much expectationz???
oh well..
ne waiz
afta heapza talkin...
finally made a conclusion of quittin tutorin...
YAY!!!!
i mean itz not like i need it that much...
so ye..
have 1 afternoon off now that aint weekend!!!
so happi!!

i wz gonna say happi b'day 2 scar...
but she wz complainin how i wz turnin in2 kat
so... no happi b'day 4 her..

watz happened tha last few daiz..?
doin role play election in class 4 s+e...
and tha votes are gonna be counted by tha electoral commision...
4 mi class i'm in tha national party...

well...
i g2g
mi dad brought pizza home
(damn gettin fatter and fatter every day...)
nite nite
*hugz

hmm...
i typed this realli long post but it accedentalli got deleted..
-_-"
oh well..

damn...
mum..
g2g
nite nite
*hugz

*sigh*
there are so many unanswered questions in tha world...

and yet so few answers....

y is mi sista so different 4m me? and yet so similar?
(damn i talkin bout mi sista again..)
i mean she's SO literate...
she takes thingz so literaly..
do i do that???
hmmm...
but on tha outside we're so similar...
i mean she's catchin up on me...
she's nearly tha same height...
and now there is only 1 SIZE DIFFERENCE between our shoe sizes...
(hmm did i say that last time????)
oh well...

y are pplz either so paranoid, obssessed and/or scared?!?!?!?
i mean mi uncle is obssessed bout cleanliness as well as bein paranoid bout bein robbed and stuff bein stolen... (well.. guess since he is a tour guide he prob had 2 many experience of bein robbed)
scar obssessed bout constipation atm... or so it seemz...
pplz have a word obssessions....
there is fear everywhere...
and there is stress..
and embarressment...
*sigh*
there are all these emotionz round...
everywhere different experiences...
but y?
pplz react differently in each situationz i noe that but y?
would it be part of their personality or would it be affected but past experiencez???
y do certain pplz make certain decisionz?

and wen parentz say itz 4 ure own good sometimez i wonder...
wat good???
are they bein ova protective?
or do they already noe tha possible resultz coz they've experienced it???

but then...
mi parentz jus have recently become paranoid bout tha net...
but then itz not like they use it that much...
could it be they forbid thingz coz they fear it or becoz they judge accordin 2 wat they noe or hear? or experiencez?

?.?

oh well...
some parentz explain...
othaz dont...
different pplz learn and teach in different waiz...
still i wonder...
y is there fear??
are we taught to fear or do we develop it???
y are we against some moralz???
are we taught 2 or do we decide such thingz???
are we different coz we have wat we think as an education which teachez wats 'rite'????
are we that gullible? do we take info that is given 2 us and jus believe it???

i mean in some countriez itz normal 4 violence and 2 kill anmialz etc..
but pplz ova here in our western society are different...
we are against cruety 2 animalz...
do we decide that ourselvez?...
or we are told that...??
there is violence against women also....
yet again...
if tha pplz who commit violence against women were educated against violence against women would they do wat they do now??? would it depend...
but then there is also hypocritz....
preach and dont act...
covered up truth...
nothin is known....

is ne thing permanent?
to us personally i guess there are memoriez...
memoriez of happiness...
but then that eventualli maybe forgotten...
or we may die...
but then wat of structures?
concrete thingz...
do they last?
or do they break down slowly???

wat of love?
would that last?
hmm... i dunno...
but then there are alwaiz obstaclez...
probz...
but would it last?
even if 1 of tha parnerz were dead?
would it continue?
is that perminant??
wat does last forever?
there is a balance i do believe...
would that mean that nothing lasts?
there is the construction and the equal distruction...
beginnin and end...
happiness and sadness...
all opposites...
are there oppositez 4 everythin in tha world? if there are are they equal???

there are upz and downz in life...
but are there timez wen there seemz to only be upz?
wen everything is good???
would that be followed by an equalli long time of bad thingz???
*sigh*

wat would happen wen tha world endz???
would it eva end???
how would it end???
by destruction... caused by humankind???
becoz of our stupidity????
our ignorance???
or a natural disaster????
how would i end???
of old age????
of sickness???
all by miself???
or die wit some1 like in a car crash????

deep thoughtz...
some questionz could be answered some wouldnt...
wz our world created by some super bein???
for in this world wen i dare to look around i see...
delicate patterns of work...
a rose for example...
so pretty..
yet...
has thorns...
smells so sweet...
but still there are the thorns...
painful...

and each other plant and animal...
so unique...
so special and different in their own way...
did some1 plan and design it all???
or was it all a product of evolution???
or maybe both???
were there realli iceagez???
were there actualli dinosaurz???
can science actualli support these theoriez?
wat about chem???
about atomic and valence structures?
all theoriez...
is there a truth out there???
how about another place where there is life???
wat will happen afta our time????

damn...
mi mum callin...
i g2g...
nite nite..
*hugz
(i guess this is the end of this post....)