Every Second, A Step Closer to the Edge.

the whole week's gone by
sometimes you dont realise
how the minor details just flutter away
and you're in a whole new day the very next moment

i was thinking about beliefs
what do you believe in?
in my utter boredom
i decided to crack open my chem lab manual
to take a sneak peek at what's to come on mon's lab
and to my great astonishment (not really)
there lay my answers.
i knew i could always count on chem :P

Believe nothing,
No matter where you readit,
Or who said it,
No matter if I have said it,
Unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense
-Buddha

it could be like my bible equiv to the world..
wow.

well as people know.
resto's up and running again
for the last month nearly
and with the new opening came a review from the post
everything was pretty much rated excellently
cept for the fact that "service" and "ambience"
scored pretty lowly
around 2 or 3 outta 5
esp with being understaffed
im back to help out 2 hours every night
i think? :S not sure yet..

first evening back to work tonight.
nothing speccy i guess..
would have nothing to blog about
all until i got snapped at.
tho i guess its probs mostly me being annoyed
at being snapped at that im writing this
as well as sorta the principle behind it.
maybe she was having a crappy day too..
i dunno. multiple variables

served up a dish.
and well for most people who eat a diff cuisine
they come for something different
yeah makes sense?
its sorta like part of different culture learning yeah?
its like eat chinese with chopsticks
and well western cuisine with knife and fork?
and other ones with just your hands
its just like another element
to eating a different cuisine yeah?
sorta learning and enjoying the experience

so yeah dish served and i was bored
so was scanning around to see if anyone needs help
noticed the dish i served up before
and well they were eating it
separately instead of together
so i walked over
and just excused myself
and suggested the alternative way of consuming it
which is something i've always done back in yr 10
like you learn some new way of eating
its sorta like enhances the experience yeah?
like there's people who learnt back then
and loved it
but i guess its more of feedback
from regular customers

so back to the story
gave my lil suggestion
and all i got in return was an
"i already understand thanks" snap
you know the cold tone to people's voices?
*sigh*

i dunno maybe its just my view
but if you go to another cuisine
you go for the experience of different foods
and you learn a new way of eating
so why just go eat a different food
and carry across your enthocentric views
otherwise how else will you learn new things?
new style of eating.
im just frustrated at that tho.
but in the end i guess its me
not liking to be snapped at.
but back to my point.
its like the neo-travelling nowadays
where people actually learn the culture
they go into places and learn the lifestyle of places
not to travel just to stay in hotels
where everything is up to international standards
tho then again some people travel just for that...

hmm nothing on beliefs in the end..
well nothing i wanted to write
it was more of a thought of mine after work
so yep getting late
nite nite
*hugs*
-Del

The Little World of Voices in My Head.

do i really have a world of voices in my head?
no i highly doubt it..
unless that's really what they want me to believe!?
what am i on about?
i have no idea
the voices are making me do it.
maybe its just my multiple consciousness-es
and you wonder.
of all the voices
which ones are the way
and the others just noise?
finding the pathway through the haze

*sigh*
i guess in the end its usually when emotions run high
or at least rise and fall
that i have the greatest amount to write about
least when i have time to reflect
and to have those lil conversations in my mind
that those thoughts bubble together
but in your own mind
how much do you trust those voices?
even tho you know them as your own
for some you as enticing as they are you just wanna believe
and yet there's the pull at the other end
the other voices
and there's those that just sit there and commune

isnt it so easy to believe what you're willing to?
and yet in the end
after it all.. all you're left with
is a sense of empty believe that you were once deluded
that or disillusioned.
wasnt it just easier to turn away from the start?
and what of that, that you still wish to deny?
you turn and walk away and yet it pulls you again.
and again. always there
nagging and grabbing for your attention
and yet there's little way to refuse?

what is the self?
the actual individual within you
that makes the decisions?
what if its wrong?
what is there to fall back on afterward?
who's there to console but the silence?
as the noise fades? and you're left with what?
nothing but the reverberations of the past
of what the bright future had bought
the resonance of the days past
was it really what you wanted?
what you wished for?
the hope for the days to come,
all which came to nil? nada? zilch?

all this while, the around the outside
everything else turns, you stand still
and yet the world revolves
you want it to stop to notice you long enough
for you to get back on to your feet
to be the way you were before your path branched
and you made your choice of the split
amongst all the noise, all the distractions
you dont need the world to revolve around you
but could it not just stop for a few seconds?
reading this.
all you could think would be pathetic?
well what are emotions for you?
if you numb it all off...
is it not the same end?
all minus the knowledge of the moments of delusion
is the fall worth the moments of disillusion?
for those who've known the sweetness
how can they return?
and yet for those who have not known
live as they were previously not knowing
the product, the cost nor its worth
so tell me dear.
which path is it you follow?
can you really hear the melody amongst the noise?

you know?
its has yet to be a full week of uni yet.
and its been pretty good
day after day a new surprise
something that i guess i never thought possible
for mid-year since its sem 2
but day after day has yet to disappoint me
ranging from people who've helped me
to those who are just are are around to spend time with
and of course to those people of the past who've appeared
like OMG Praggie :D
small world after all

getting late now
nite nite
*hugs*
-Del

*Think Think Think*

You know..
someone told me today..
that the more you try to remember something
the less likely you're able to remember it..
is it true?
hmm maybe for things forgotten i guess

what i dont understand tho
is the need for people to put their feet up
in the middle of lectures
on the seats in front of them
i swear i was in h bio sitting there
intently listening then
*THUNK*
i look to my right and there's this foot
right where the seat next to me is
the leg is basically in line with my face
-.-
look back to the front trying not to be distracted
by the thoughts of annoyance bubbling up
but its in the corner of my line of view
so turn around to look at the person
but nope not a glare
look back to the front
ah well let it go
after a while...
thank goodness..
they take their foot away
coz there's a new slide
with lotsa words
so busily scribble away
then
*THUNK*
the leg again
-.-
new slide
*legs removed*
then hoping that finally they finished
*THUNK THUNK*
great.. double thunk..
no not one leg bouncing up n down
BOTH OF THEM
Grrrr...
on the whole least they were wearing shoes

i guess that's something ill never get
public places and putting your feet up.
anyways
ive yet to remember what i wanted to write about
nite nite
*hugs*
-Del

Like No Other... Do You Believe?

Home Sweet Home.
Gone for two-ish weeks and back once again.
But ive nothing to say..
hmm.
maybe i still need more sleep?

==========================================

mm first day back
what happened?
not much really..
class class n more class
i like writing about my thoughts more
more meaningful for me..
but more boringful for whoever chooses to read
bleh MY blog :D

damn i actually had thoughts today too
cant remember them..
bleh lets talk about my two weeks away

i guess one of the more shocking stories
of what i saw..
more of what lina saw
and i sorta just glanced coz i was busy
and lina went to stop it
was that in one of the flooded regions
coz they were living in temp built disaster tents
was that there was this kid who had gotten so hungry
saw that there was a loose nail from a wooden chair
so (s)he pulled the rusty nail
and started sucking and chewing on it

and then there's those other people
who's zippers on teh pants are so broke
and they have no money to buy new clothes
so they use a thin rope
to zig zag sew across the zipper line
and then when the rope reaches the top of the pants
doesnt sew it in
but leaves it open so that they can go to teh bathroom
then pull the top end to close up their pants instead of using zippers

the other was this gentleman
who instead completely sewed up the zipper bit
which i guess assumes the zipper was broken
since they were so big and used a rope to tie around the waist

*sigh*
other than that i dont really remember anything
i remember long bumpy car rides
in cars which smelled like petrol
had leaked into the aircon system
with people who smoked any and everywhere
and not to mention the lovely squat pans
or at times rows of sectioned of tiled trenches
for toilet usage and within them their lovely poo piles

after all i say
i still havent thought of what i thought of this morning
ah wells.
next time maybe
*hugs*
-Del