home again..

well..
linaz at her dance comp thingy...
good luck 2 her...

hmmm...
u noe 2day mi dad wz meant 2 get a new car 2 replace his old 1 which is like fallin apart....
and he sold tha maxi taxi van a while ago... *sob*
so yah... he wz meant 2 get a new car...
so that he can actualli do some of tha deliveries 4 tha shop..
but guess wat...?!?!?!?
instead... mi grandparents decide they want tha car instead...
-.-"

so wat does mi dad do?
he GIVES tha car 2 mi grandparents...
i mean itz rite and all..
but WAT will mi dad do now...?
still go drivin round in his old tatterd car which is like a road risk...?
and itz not like mi grandparents dun have a car...
cept itz not suitable 2 do tha deliveriez in...
i mean how good is mi dad...?
he jus gives up his new car and keepz drivin tha 1 he has...
which i think is like a hazard coz like bits are fallin off tha car...
*sigh*

but then cant realli change mi dadz mind...
since i dun have a say in ne of this..
oh wellz...
sometimez i wonder if there could be ne 1 nicer than mi dad...
i mean 2 our family hez like perfect son... perfect husband... perfect father...
wat else...?
hmm... dunno bout bro tho...
but then he usualli has otha pplz interests firsts...
i love mi dad ^^

hmm...
i wonder...
do pplz change or do they stay tha same all tha way thru their life...?
i mean obviously therez tha physical change...
and then learnin 4m mistakes i guezz...

doez EVERYTHIN come in pairs...?
i mean think bout it..
pairz could be total opposites or fit 2getha...
i mean wit love therez hate...
male and female obviously...
then black and white...
and with sadness there is happiness...
for the elderly there are the youthful...
there are tall and short pplz...
tha list could go on and on...

but jus coz there are differences...
are there times wen thingz go 2 far..?
like how therez discrimination...
and racism..
and sexism... (discrimination of gender)
and homophobia...
u sometimez hear bout em..
but then do they go 2 far sometimez...
i mean if itz a protest and everythin 4 human rites and stuff..
but do pplz sometimez go ova tha top bout it...?

i mean 4 eg. wit feminism...
girlz can blame and say that they are bein sexist...
jus coz itz not goin tha rite way 4 em...

and 4 eg. racism...
some1 in class could easily say that tha teacha iz racist jus coz they got a low mark...
i mean sometimez tha cases maybe tru..
but in some otha cases...
r pplz abusin tha fact that there are such reasons...?

like wen u go 2 a lil playground...
and u hear kids playin..
u can sometimez ovahear tha ova used term "bully"
i mean a simple joke and act of takin a child's hat could result in cries of " give it bak u bully!"
they've been taught about bullying...
yet...
wat is bullying..?
it is wen a person who KEEPS doing or saying things to have power ova another person
so..? it is ova used..
could all the forms of prejudice be used in this same way..?

i mean all these thingz go under prejudice...
and wat is prejudice but a baised point of view of individual, group, race or class?
but then wit bein against prejudice...
are u ureself not bein exertin ure own pov against pplz who are prejudice...
wen they are doin exactly tha same...?
itz sorta hypocrisy i guezz...
but then bein against tha prejudice...
would u be generalising a group in particular...?

am i gettin 2 tired...
coz it soundz like im randomly ramblin on bout random stuff (again!!!)...
-_-"

oh wellz i betta go sleep...
nite nite
*hugz*

english...

in english atm...
15 minz left of class 4 tha day....
cbb researchin ne morez...
mite as well type a quick post...

yesterday..
had tae bo 4 pe..
and now mi arms kill like hell wen i straighten em out >.<
nm otha than that..
cant remember ne thin...

2day..
nothin either..
got up earli 4 choir..
got rained on...
had mathz - nothin special
commerce - nothin special
house acts - softball
french - last assessment eva !!! i sorta gave up half way thru tha assessment... and started drawin on mi drink bottle....
and english - well meant 2 be free readin period or research.. our choice realli... and well i jus chose 2 do half half cept i cbb doin ne more research

scar...
maybe u r rite..
maybe im thinkin 2 much again these daiz..
well itz more of me typin mi thoughtz i guezz...
i guezz i think that tha reason i liek tha net in general so much..
is coz wen i chat 2 pplz or play gamez...
it sorta clears mi mind..
and i dont think up random thingz..
i mean i can do tha same wit bookz as a form of escapism...
cept tha thing is that im such a picky reader >.<
i get bored of some bookz so easily..
or if i get caught up in a book i wont be able 2 put it down..
tho turnin off tha comp at nite isnt that easi either...

thinkin bout time..
i cnat believe tha net iz onli bout 10 yrz old !!!
i guezz wit pplz our age growin up wit it...
itz as if itz been here 4 us all along..
i mean no wonder mi parents dunno how 2 use tha net that well...

well end of lesson i betta go..
maybe type some more 2 nite wen i get home...
byez
*hugz*

skool - s+e

meant 2 be researchin on the cold war 4 common task..
but im takin a quick break ^^
itz makin me think 2 much and i think im startin 2 develop a headache...

nothin happend ova tha w/e..
lina went 2 anotha sleep ova..
and on sun wen she came bak mi mum, mi sista and i were close to non speaking terms...
coz each person had their own reason 2 be pissed off at some 1 else..
and i nearly burst out in tearz liek 3 timez...
coz mi mum wz worried bout mi sista all nite wen she wz at tha sleepova...
and so she called lina at 12:30 am..
and lina got pissed coz she didnt believe that mum couldnt trust her..
and wen lina got bak she wz pissed off at me 4 not fixin tha prob on her comp
while she wz away so that tha net connection worked..
and so i went 2 do it 4 her and wit out ne wordz...
she jus kiked me outta tha room once it worked fine >.<>.<
i mean realli...? wz that neccessary?
and coz lina wz bein so mean wen mi mum started lecturin me i tried 2 breathe properly and talk in a nice tone (coz if i didnt then i'd end up gettin tha "dont talk 2 me int hat tone of voice" lecture) cept it didnt work..
and mi mum took it as if i raised mi voice at her..
and sounded all hurt..
*sigh*
i didnt mean 2 make her sad and pissed off...
oh wellz..
but i guezz most of itz ova...

end of class fini later..

.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~. l8r on at home.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.,.~^*^~.

*sigh*
sometimez i think bout pplz and wat they do and think...
and i wonder...
do some pplz do wat they do coz they feel insecure...?
like tha way they act is a result of their own inner fear..?

some pplz seem so proud...
and yet wen u get 2 noe them u find out and realise...
itz all jus a mask... to hide away their own insecurites..
itz as if they feel that by actin tha way they do they make themselvez more superior...
betta than otherz and by doin that makin em seem so "perfect"
i guezz..
like they're all bold and careless of everythin...
and yet..
if u realli think bout pplz...
they build up this whole facade..
jus 2 hide their "imperfections" (if u can sorta call it that)

but then there may jus be pplz who are jus tha way they are..
and there may not be a facade at all...
and most pplz accept that...
but i dunno y wen i see some pplz and later on..
wen i think bak bout em...
tehy all seem 2 have some troubled mind or seomthin...
(or it could jus be mi imagination...)
or maybe i jus like 2 sympathise 4 some pplz...
but then maybe tha world realli isnt that much of a sad place...

iz tha world realli a bad place, good place or a place of balance...?
iz there a "big BAD world out there?"
iz there a good side of tha world...?
iz there both..?
(-.-" i sound like some random naive outsider who's been wrapped up in cotton wool all their life...)

i went out 2 tha resto 2 nite...
and i saw one of tha employee's son's...
and i felt so sad...
like how bad would it be if i were their parent..
(btw he'z aged 5 and seemz 2 be mentalli not disabled but like i dun wanna use tha word but sorta retarded >.< )
i mean hez 5 and all he doez is look at u and drool...
and he smiles and everythin..
but he refuses 2 talk..
either that or he dunno how 2..
and he dun wanna eat...
so his mum has 2 like force feed him
and like he refuses 2 hold ne thin..
and all he does is wonder round and look at u and smile and drool..

like maybe he feelz happi bout his life atm..
but how bad would life be later on..?
would he stay that way 4 eva..
*sigh*

and then i think..
how sad i would feel if that were mi own child...?
i mean itz bad enough 2 be a parent wit some child or teen...
wat bout 1 that wz mentalli disadvantaged..?
how heartbreakin would that be..?
oh wellz...
but then i dun think i wanna have ne kidz wen i grow up...
but then again..
thingz may change ...
till then i guezz ...
dun realli need 2 think bout that...

i wonder sometimez...
bout future....
wat would happen..?
would i stuff up tee..?
would i end up goin 2 uni..?

ugh...
gettin late..
g2g sleep
nite nite
*hugz*