sitting in my room..
i sorta was a bit on the deflated mood..
searched round thru my documents..
and came across some of these poems
which i saved ages ago..
just poems that i really like
and postin em here..
something i just chose to share with you guys ^^
anyways..
some of my fave poems..
they should be on the other blog.
but i really cbb..
*edit: i ended up postin em up there as well*
i carry your heart
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
~e e cummings
Always for the first time
Always for the first time
Hardly do I know you by sight
You return at some hour of the night to a house at an angle to my window
A wholly imaginary house
It is there that from one second to the next
In the inviolate darkness
I anticipate once more the fascinating rift occuring
The one and only rift
In the facade and in my heart
The closer I come to you
In reality
The more the key sings at the door of the unknown room
Where you appear alone before me
At first you coalesce entierly with the brightness
The elusive angle of a curtain
It's a field of jasmine I gazed upon at dawn on a road in the vicinity of Grasse
With the diagonal slant of its girls picking
Behind them the dark falling wing of the plants stripped bare
Before them a T-square of dazzling light
The curtain invisibly raised
In a frenzy all the flowers swarm back in
It is you at grips with that too long hour never dim enough until sleep
You as though you could be
The same except that I shall perhaps never meet you
You pretend not to know I am watching you
Marvelously I am no longer sure you know
You idleness brings tears to my eyes
A swarm of interpretations surrounds each of your gestures
It's a honeydew hunt
There are rocking chairs on a deck there are branches that may well scratch you in the forest
There are in a shop window in the rue Notre-Dame-de-Lorette
Two lovely crossed legs caught in long stockings
Flaring out in the center of a great white clover
There is a silken ladder rolled out over the ivy
There is
By my leaning over the precipice
Of your presence and your absense in hopeless fusion
My finding the secret
Of loving you
Always for the first time
~Andre Breton
somewhere i have never travelled
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
~e. e. cummings
Reluctance
Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.
The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.
And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'
Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?
~Robert Frost
anyways..
back to study..
or may come back for a decent post..
dunno really..
depends how i feel..
but hope you enjoyed reading em ^^
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Post #290
hmmm...
nearing the 300 mark..
my bloggie's getting old...
anyways..
im waiting for a song to download before i sleep..
so thought id type up a post..
that after a long time..
that is on a happier note..
tho no guarantee..
since its sorta like my mind dumping area...
i received an email forword earlier...
contemplating it..
it just seems so real..
tho whether or not it is or isnt true
is yet another thing..
im not really trying to argue those statements...
but just wondering to what degree that it is true to everyone..?
i guess..
really to people..
it can be believed to be true..
if one or another thing applies to ureself..
i mean of all those things..
how would you know if they were true..
unless you experience it in some way..
damnit..
seems like im reinforcing the degree of truth in those statements
ah well...
you could be in total denial of being weak..
and not realise it yourself..
or
you could just be saying that i wear black coz it
makes me look slimmer or i like that colour
ah well each person to themselves...
the weekend's past by..
AGAIN..
and ive done NOTHING..
-.-
god damn procrastination..
but i watched legally blonde 2..
i wanna watch she's the man and scary movie 4..
anyone care to go to the cinemas with me over the hols??
True colours...
what are each person's true colours?
who are they?
i mean for those who carry their hearts on their sleeves..
is that who they really are?
or just a mask yet again?
actually
im gonna diverge from that..
since by the looks of it seems to be dipping into a low..
yay i used a physics term
"diverge"
god..
i dun even know why im still taking physics
and im updating my ipod atm..
its taking FOREVER..
since i think i recently added some pix
from the ball on to the comp..
so its being sent on to the poddie..
just taking so bloody long..
i just hope i dun get caught soon..
damnit..
my sister came in
tho thank god she didnt stay..
am i even mean to my sister?
lol
by the looks of the blog
and most posts about her you'd think i completely hate her..
mm
today's been an ok day..
sat seeemed great..
cept for the guilt..
of being caught playing mahjong at a temple..
no we weren't gambling..
but still
i feel bad bout it everytime i think bout it..
i went to my grandparents' house on sat..
for rememberance of my great grandpa...
no wait..
my great great great grandpa..
yeah thats rite..
tho i dunno anythin bout...
some of the family met up..
i got to see my nephew ^^
aww he's so damn cute..
he's 2 and half..
but he doesnt talk that much..
tho he was running round the house
holding a baton like ballon and hitting everyone with it..
and him and i had a mini "sword"/ballon baton fight..
was so funny..
the only things i heard him say clearly were
"i want to kick" and "NOOOOOOOO"
mm
and i saw my lil baby cousin
she was so cute as well
and then jackson (my nephew)
got jealous coz his dad was holding our cousin
and not him ^^
which would make it jealous of his aunt... :S
yeah our family tree sounds bit stuffed up..
but its complicated..
and today..
went shopping for next sat's wedding..
and i forgot my harp concert -.-
which was a good thing i guess.
i really wasnt in the state to be performing..
ah well have to face the teacher tomoz
><
wow..
quite an unintentional long post..
that took bout 20 mins..
anyways..
time to go to bed..
school tomoz ><
nite nite
*hugz* to all
nearing the 300 mark..
my bloggie's getting old...
anyways..
im waiting for a song to download before i sleep..
so thought id type up a post..
that after a long time..
that is on a happier note..
tho no guarantee..
since its sorta like my mind dumping area...
i received an email forword earlier...
Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart,
are really are weak and most susceptible?
Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others
are the ones that really need someone to protect them?
Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:
I love you, Sorry and help me
Did you know that those who dress in red
are more confident in themselves?
Did you know that those who dress in yellow
are those that enjoy their beauty?
Did you know that those who dress in black,
are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
Did you know that when you help someone,
the help is returned in two folds?
Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face?
But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?
Did you know that if you ask for something in faith,
your wishes are granted?
contemplating it..
it just seems so real..
tho whether or not it is or isnt true
is yet another thing..
im not really trying to argue those statements...
but just wondering to what degree that it is true to everyone..?
i guess..
really to people..
it can be believed to be true..
if one or another thing applies to ureself..
i mean of all those things..
how would you know if they were true..
unless you experience it in some way..
damnit..
seems like im reinforcing the degree of truth in those statements
ah well...
you could be in total denial of being weak..
and not realise it yourself..
or
you could just be saying that i wear black coz it
makes me look slimmer or i like that colour
ah well each person to themselves...
the weekend's past by..
AGAIN..
and ive done NOTHING..
-.-
god damn procrastination..
but i watched legally blonde 2..
i wanna watch she's the man and scary movie 4..
anyone care to go to the cinemas with me over the hols??
True colours...
what are each person's true colours?
who are they?
i mean for those who carry their hearts on their sleeves..
is that who they really are?
or just a mask yet again?
actually
im gonna diverge from that..
since by the looks of it seems to be dipping into a low..
yay i used a physics term
"diverge"
god..
i dun even know why im still taking physics
and im updating my ipod atm..
its taking FOREVER..
since i think i recently added some pix
from the ball on to the comp..
so its being sent on to the poddie..
just taking so bloody long..
i just hope i dun get caught soon..
damnit..
my sister came in
tho thank god she didnt stay..
am i even mean to my sister?
lol
by the looks of the blog
and most posts about her you'd think i completely hate her..
mm
today's been an ok day..
sat seeemed great..
cept for the guilt..
of being caught playing mahjong at a temple..
no we weren't gambling..
but still
i feel bad bout it everytime i think bout it..
i went to my grandparents' house on sat..
for rememberance of my great grandpa...
no wait..
my great great great grandpa..
yeah thats rite..
tho i dunno anythin bout...
some of the family met up..
i got to see my nephew ^^
aww he's so damn cute..
he's 2 and half..
but he doesnt talk that much..
tho he was running round the house
holding a baton like ballon and hitting everyone with it..
and him and i had a mini "sword"/ballon baton fight..
was so funny..
the only things i heard him say clearly were
"i want to kick" and "NOOOOOOOO"
mm
and i saw my lil baby cousin
she was so cute as well
and then jackson (my nephew)
got jealous coz his dad was holding our cousin
and not him ^^
which would make it jealous of his aunt... :S
yeah our family tree sounds bit stuffed up..
but its complicated..
and today..
went shopping for next sat's wedding..
and i forgot my harp concert -.-
which was a good thing i guess.
i really wasnt in the state to be performing..
ah well have to face the teacher tomoz
><
wow..
quite an unintentional long post..
that took bout 20 mins..
anyways..
time to go to bed..
school tomoz ><
nite nite
*hugz* to all
Friday, March 31, 2006
End of Week 9... 1 Week and 2 and half days LEFT!!!
well according to the title..
its left till the holidays...
which really means more study..
if i can get myself to do it..
i really feel like saying something..
and really i did indeed have something
that i was gonna write for this post..
but i guess i sorta forgot it..
as per usual..
you know..
think ill jus go for a typical day/week post..
and see how things turn out..
had the chem test..
the geog..
and lit oral..
(the presentation actually happend this week on mon)
and the lit long essay..
all the tests sorta turned out ok..
the lit long essay..
i started last nite..
and was due today..
i slept at 12 last nite..
and woke up at 5 am this morning..
to get it done..
FINALLY finished and handed in..
i felt so ELATED!!
like there was this great sense of acheivement..
over a simple LONG essay..
i cant believe how much i missed the feeling..
of being at least slighly carefree...
but then..
as day went on..
back to the drop again..
like it feels like theres no reason for anything.
i dont feel sad..
but i dun feel happy either..
yeah i got in the 80's for my chem test..
i was happy bout that for like 2 mins..
then that disappeared as well..
the av for our class was in the 60's..
yeah..
and a whole list of test coming up next week..
><
ah whole set of consecutive test days...
ah well
at least they're not all on mon ^^
why is it..
that i find that i can talk easily to some..
and sometimes there just seems to be such a gap between others...
and seriously..
even in lunch today..
i was sitting there..
all that happend was a whole series of diff small convos..
and i joined in like a bit..
but i jus felt so detached...
why do i feel this way?
ok i guess i do have to admit..
i dont find it as easy talking bout things to some ppl..
and for some ppl..
i cant even have a decent convo without an argument *cough*
but im not like that all the time..
and like..
why cant i talk..
i dont sorta say i dont trust them..
but i just dont talk to em..
like its just this gap..
i sorta cant really relate to em..
even if i did talk to some of them when
they first started sitting with us
why...??
*sigh*
isnt it amazing the ability to exclude??
but what can you say?
there will always be ppl..
who you find..
that theres like this gut feeling
that you cant talk openly to
or like you jsut cant connect with em as well
and i dont want this..
but i cant help it..
i can..
ive tried..
sometimes.. if im with one single person..
its seems possible to bridge the gap..
but with too many..
it seems like too many to deal with...
ah well..
im lacking sleep and well..
its gettin late and i have chinese tomoz
nite nite
*hugz*
its left till the holidays...
which really means more study..
if i can get myself to do it..
i really feel like saying something..
and really i did indeed have something
that i was gonna write for this post..
but i guess i sorta forgot it..
as per usual..
you know..
think ill jus go for a typical day/week post..
and see how things turn out..
had the chem test..
the geog..
and lit oral..
(the presentation actually happend this week on mon)
and the lit long essay..
all the tests sorta turned out ok..
the lit long essay..
i started last nite..
and was due today..
i slept at 12 last nite..
and woke up at 5 am this morning..
to get it done..
FINALLY finished and handed in..
i felt so ELATED!!
like there was this great sense of acheivement..
over a simple LONG essay..
i cant believe how much i missed the feeling..
of being at least slighly carefree...
but then..
as day went on..
back to the drop again..
like it feels like theres no reason for anything.
i dont feel sad..
but i dun feel happy either..
yeah i got in the 80's for my chem test..
i was happy bout that for like 2 mins..
then that disappeared as well..
the av for our class was in the 60's..
yeah..
and a whole list of test coming up next week..
><
ah whole set of consecutive test days...
ah well
at least they're not all on mon ^^
why is it..
that i find that i can talk easily to some..
and sometimes there just seems to be such a gap between others...
and seriously..
even in lunch today..
i was sitting there..
all that happend was a whole series of diff small convos..
and i joined in like a bit..
but i jus felt so detached...
why do i feel this way?
ok i guess i do have to admit..
i dont find it as easy talking bout things to some ppl..
and for some ppl..
i cant even have a decent convo without an argument *cough*
but im not like that all the time..
and like..
why cant i talk..
i dont sorta say i dont trust them..
but i just dont talk to em..
like its just this gap..
i sorta cant really relate to em..
even if i did talk to some of them when
they first started sitting with us
why...??
*sigh*
isnt it amazing the ability to exclude??
but what can you say?
there will always be ppl..
who you find..
that theres like this gut feeling
that you cant talk openly to
or like you jsut cant connect with em as well
and i dont want this..
but i cant help it..
i can..
ive tried..
sometimes.. if im with one single person..
its seems possible to bridge the gap..
but with too many..
it seems like too many to deal with...
ah well..
im lacking sleep and well..
its gettin late and i have chinese tomoz
nite nite
*hugz*
Monday, March 27, 2006
3rd post in one day... WOW !!! O.o
Hmm..
on a total blogging roll today...
or blogging spree..
but i guess it gives me a voice...
you know..
reflecting on today...
and some days of last week..
i really pity those..
who are so low in self esteem..
and are so insecure of themselves..
that they need to put ppl down in some way
in order to make themselves feel slightly better..
*for once not relating to sister*
like how low MUST you be..?
that you feel the URGE to bitch...
and judge..?
lol
and yet..
i myself am judging just on this fact..
yeah scar.. its true..
everyone bitches..
whether it its more open in public in comparison to private..
i wouldnt know..
tho obviously there's tends towards the continual backstabbing...
hmm..
i guess i sorta lost track of what the hell i was on bout..
sorta just lost the point..
of what i was talkin bout...
anyways..
nite nite
*hugz*
(in much better state than i was at the start of the evening)
on a total blogging roll today...
or blogging spree..
but i guess it gives me a voice...
you know..
reflecting on today...
and some days of last week..
i really pity those..
who are so low in self esteem..
and are so insecure of themselves..
that they need to put ppl down in some way
in order to make themselves feel slightly better..
*for once not relating to sister*
like how low MUST you be..?
that you feel the URGE to bitch...
and judge..?
lol
and yet..
i myself am judging just on this fact..
yeah scar.. its true..
everyone bitches..
whether it its more open in public in comparison to private..
i wouldnt know..
tho obviously there's tends towards the continual backstabbing...
hmm..
i guess i sorta lost track of what the hell i was on bout..
sorta just lost the point..
of what i was talkin bout...
anyways..
nite nite
*hugz*
(in much better state than i was at the start of the evening)
Emotional Survey..
Hmm.. found this quite appropriate..
Survey I stole off Kura's blog who stole it off Al's blog
EMOTION SURVEY
1. what do you do when you're really mad?
Keep it in usually..
if not.. then vent in some way or the other..
but usually keep it in.. goes away soon enough
2. what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
Can't really remember..
tho i think i threw a hissyfit at my sister sometime last yr..
and scared teh shit out of her ^^"
3. ever hurt someone verbally when you're mad?
my sister when i threw that pissed of agro fit?
4. ever hurt someone physically when you're mad?
not anything that caused any extreme bodily harm ^^"
tho really i rarely take things out on ppl..
unless they seriously deserve it..
or im jus prejudiced *cough*
5. do you curse when you're mad?
at times.. not always...
Crying Section
1. last time you cried your heart out?
sometime last yr most likely..
2. ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yeah it happens..
3. ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
Nope.. when i really get that emotional..
usually not really anyone round for a shoulder to cry on..
4. ever cry when you get an injury?
Yeah when i was lil...
5. do certain songs make you cry?
Definately some songs definately evoke V strong emotions..
some songs can make me cry..
but really depends on the memories linked to the song
AND the emotional stability at that time..
Pain Section
1. what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?
Something that happened recently..
of which some ppl know of..
and seriously im scared..
its such a small thing..
its not entirely my fault but then again..
theres that whole guilt..
where yes i contributed to it..
WHY should i have to care?
i dont understand..
thats the real confusion..
the self-centred side says why should i fucking give a bloody damn...
but then sympathetical side just bloody feels guilt.
that its ALL my fault but its NOT entirely my fault
AGGGHHH BLOODY PROBLEM ISSUE THAT FUCKING BUGS ME
and if you do know bout this issue..
and wanna comment..
plz request just to email me..
and not cast it into the open..
i dont want to go thru explainations over it and dig it all up
2. how depressed can you get?
quite a lot..
put in the right surroundings guilt and being alone
can drive the mind into hard thinkign depression
-.-"
damn..
*must think happy thoughts.. think happy thoughts*
Happy Section
1. are you normally a happy person?
Yeah sure..
a few yrs back..
minus the complaints..
wasnt that long ago ^^"
but genuinely..
i can be happy..
just when i can cast aside the imperfections of life..
and concentrate on the present
2. what can make you happy?
Just being around ppl in general...
well that is..
being round ppl i know well
and just having a general talk is all i need ^^
3. do you wish you were happier?
Well being happier really depends on ure self doesnt it?
so in general..
wishing can come true..
Just have to put in the effort..
so i think you should rephrase the q and be
"do you WANT to be happier?"
yeah i'd like to be..
jus need to out and bout bit more..
and ill be happy as larry..
how ever happy that is :S
4. what about being with your friends makes you happy?
DEFINATLEY !!
Love Section
1. have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?
Not likely.. not atm at least..
and coming from an attitude that says..
i dun need boyfriends..
highly unlikely
2. what happend to number two! ? ! XD
huh? what type of q is this?
3.have you loved someone so much,it made you cry?
not quite sure bout this q..
doesnt really make sense to me..
4.has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?
Nope...
Hate Section
1. have you ever been on a hate list?
could be.. no idea really..
and i doubt anyone other than elle has admitted to me they HAVE a hate list
2. have you ever hated any one that broke your heart?
Truthfully...
i have liked and possibly loved but no one has broken my heart..
well maybe my sister :P
Self-Esteem Section
1. is your self-esteem extremely low?
not extremely.. but it has its downward dips..
2.do you believe in yourself?
not really.. sorta lacking in the motivation dept..
3.when people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you deny you are?
i dunno..
really depends who says it..
like i said before..
strangely i can accept such a compliment from an elderly person..
but not from anyone else really..
like ppl my mum's age may say it..
and i just say thanx...
but my peers say it and i totally deny.. :S
4. are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?
no i dun think im TOTALLY ugly dumb and fat..
but im still imperfect..
i still manage to do completely STUPID things..
and i am slightly on the chubby side :P
5. ever wanted to kill yourself cuz you thought you weren't good enough?
how can you ever be good enough for anything?
i mean this world is filled with imperfections..
so why should you ureself be a discount and be utterly perfect???
its impossible..
and seriously
i hate those simple cowards who turn to death..
as a simple outlet..
there are ppl out there dying everyday..
wishing they had just one more day of their life..
where as there many teens jus committing suicide..
not taking a slight thought to the value of their own life..
where later on in their life they could make a change in the world..
and if not..
it would just be brave to go on in consideration of their loved ones..
just to strive on for the sake of their loved ones..
and yeah you can argue they may not have any loved ones
who care for em any more..
but is it still not being a cowardice..
just the fact taht they dotn have anyone who loves them..
arent they still taking a cowardice route..
escaping in the easiest way they think possible?
6.are you happy with who you are?
-no comment- in general..
tho i thank god and my parents for everything i have ^^
who i am..
i really am yet to decide if im happy over..
Survey I stole off Kura's blog who stole it off Al's blog
EMOTION SURVEY
1. what do you do when you're really mad?
Keep it in usually..
if not.. then vent in some way or the other..
but usually keep it in.. goes away soon enough
2. what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
Can't really remember..
tho i think i threw a hissyfit at my sister sometime last yr..
and scared teh shit out of her ^^"
3. ever hurt someone verbally when you're mad?
my sister when i threw that pissed of agro fit?
4. ever hurt someone physically when you're mad?
not anything that caused any extreme bodily harm ^^"
tho really i rarely take things out on ppl..
unless they seriously deserve it..
or im jus prejudiced *cough*
5. do you curse when you're mad?
at times.. not always...
Crying Section
1. last time you cried your heart out?
sometime last yr most likely..
2. ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yeah it happens..
3. ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
Nope.. when i really get that emotional..
usually not really anyone round for a shoulder to cry on..
4. ever cry when you get an injury?
Yeah when i was lil...
5. do certain songs make you cry?
Definately some songs definately evoke V strong emotions..
some songs can make me cry..
but really depends on the memories linked to the song
AND the emotional stability at that time..
Pain Section
1. what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?
Something that happened recently..
of which some ppl know of..
and seriously im scared..
its such a small thing..
its not entirely my fault but then again..
theres that whole guilt..
where yes i contributed to it..
WHY should i have to care?
i dont understand..
thats the real confusion..
the self-centred side says why should i fucking give a bloody damn...
but then sympathetical side just bloody feels guilt.
that its ALL my fault but its NOT entirely my fault
AGGGHHH BLOODY PROBLEM ISSUE THAT FUCKING BUGS ME
and if you do know bout this issue..
and wanna comment..
plz request just to email me..
and not cast it into the open..
i dont want to go thru explainations over it and dig it all up
2. how depressed can you get?
quite a lot..
put in the right surroundings guilt and being alone
can drive the mind into hard thinkign depression
-.-"
damn..
*must think happy thoughts.. think happy thoughts*
Happy Section
1. are you normally a happy person?
Yeah sure..
a few yrs back..
minus the complaints..
wasnt that long ago ^^"
but genuinely..
i can be happy..
just when i can cast aside the imperfections of life..
and concentrate on the present
2. what can make you happy?
Just being around ppl in general...
well that is..
being round ppl i know well
and just having a general talk is all i need ^^
3. do you wish you were happier?
Well being happier really depends on ure self doesnt it?
so in general..
wishing can come true..
Just have to put in the effort..
so i think you should rephrase the q and be
"do you WANT to be happier?"
yeah i'd like to be..
jus need to out and bout bit more..
and ill be happy as larry..
how ever happy that is :S
4. what about being with your friends makes you happy?
DEFINATLEY !!
Love Section
1. have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?
Not likely.. not atm at least..
and coming from an attitude that says..
i dun need boyfriends..
highly unlikely
2. what happend to number two! ? ! XD
huh? what type of q is this?
3.have you loved someone so much,it made you cry?
not quite sure bout this q..
doesnt really make sense to me..
4.has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?
Nope...
Hate Section
1. have you ever been on a hate list?
could be.. no idea really..
and i doubt anyone other than elle has admitted to me they HAVE a hate list
2. have you ever hated any one that broke your heart?
Truthfully...
i have liked and possibly loved but no one has broken my heart..
well maybe my sister :P
Self-Esteem Section
1. is your self-esteem extremely low?
not extremely.. but it has its downward dips..
2.do you believe in yourself?
not really.. sorta lacking in the motivation dept..
3.when people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you deny you are?
i dunno..
really depends who says it..
like i said before..
strangely i can accept such a compliment from an elderly person..
but not from anyone else really..
like ppl my mum's age may say it..
and i just say thanx...
but my peers say it and i totally deny.. :S
4. are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?
no i dun think im TOTALLY ugly dumb and fat..
but im still imperfect..
i still manage to do completely STUPID things..
and i am slightly on the chubby side :P
5. ever wanted to kill yourself cuz you thought you weren't good enough?
how can you ever be good enough for anything?
i mean this world is filled with imperfections..
so why should you ureself be a discount and be utterly perfect???
its impossible..
and seriously
i hate those simple cowards who turn to death..
as a simple outlet..
there are ppl out there dying everyday..
wishing they had just one more day of their life..
where as there many teens jus committing suicide..
not taking a slight thought to the value of their own life..
where later on in their life they could make a change in the world..
and if not..
it would just be brave to go on in consideration of their loved ones..
just to strive on for the sake of their loved ones..
and yeah you can argue they may not have any loved ones
who care for em any more..
but is it still not being a cowardice..
just the fact taht they dotn have anyone who loves them..
arent they still taking a cowardice route..
escaping in the easiest way they think possible?
6.are you happy with who you are?
-no comment- in general..
tho i thank god and my parents for everything i have ^^
who i am..
i really am yet to decide if im happy over..
Emotional Weekend..
GOD...
what is up with me..?
im going from crappy to being closed to f***** up..
with total random fluctuations of crappy moods..
to nearing happy to crappily ALL OVER AGAIN...
WARNING..
emotional out burst session..
does not neseccarily mean ill be in the same mood by the end..
hopefully all this ends up with me finishing happy :D
and back to crappy hw..
and for any **** if you really choose to..
in ure reading insert a vulgar term you know of..
may be more fun for your reading or wahtever..
i dont bloody give a damn..
now where to ...... start...
my main point?
im going bloody insane at home..
on the upside i spent practically the whole w/e
playing mahjong..
on the down side im practically going insane..
i reapeat insane...!!
there is absolutely NO one to talk to..
yeah there's msn.
yeah there's the fone..
but its not the bloody same..
STILL trapped in the same bloody surroundings..
OH and the fucking fact that
i COMPLETELY HATE talking on the FUCKING fone..
HMM..
and my bloody shitty sister..
my great crappy good-ness..
dont you bloody get the fact that
yes i take what you bloody say to heart?
and seriously it HURTS like F-ing hell when you say things?
yeah i like to hear the truth..
yeah i prefer honesty..
but sometimes..
you dont bloody understand do you???
couse you dont..
your so much younger..
so god forsakenly arrogant and selfcentred.
dont even bloody to take into account what you do actually say
it FING cuts some times
oh and the bloody fact that ..
SINCE YOUR my bloody sister..
that you dont seem to be able to get into your head..
that what you say
PPL TEND TO TAKE SERIOUSLY
why?
coz ure my bloody sister..
some ppl dont take into the account the fact that ure joking ...
coz of the fact that ure a KID
and the fact taht ure my sister..
they bloody fuking believe it..
oh waht else???
hmm.. NOT every BLOODY SIDE of me that you see.
IS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF ME..
what do you want me to do?
completly turn???
i have my limits to..
everyone has em..
and there is a certain degree of everything ppl can take..
and take at a certain amount of time..
just coz i dun do this at home..
jus coz i dont do that..
just coz YOU dont seem or hear me doing something.
does not mean that i may or may not do or say it..
god damnit!!
why is it that everyone seems to bind some kind of bloody FUCKING
ideal to every bloody person????
i mean i openly admit i have quite a few fucking sides..
and really
i know some others who have confided in me
that they themselves have more than one side..
now why cant everyone i bloody know accept that i DO
yes indeed i HAVE more than ONE FREAKING side..
i have EMOTIONS TOO!!!
i have the right to bloody react in whatever i choose like doing
i dont want to bloody fit the fucking constraints
of ideals you have of me coz thats only what you fucking see
and what of all the bloody *********** ********* and **********
who bloody stare..
what the bloody hell is wrong with you?
what is bloody wrong with me???
i walk past..
who bloody cares?
look at whatever you like..
but where the fuck is the need for total open staring?
i dont belong in some bloody zoo where ppl pay to come in
and openly stare and gasp at..
i aint trapped and confined to some bloody cage..
so leave me the well alone..
i wear what i choose so what the fuck is wrong with you?
this is a free country..
i wear what i like..
and really i dont bloody give a damn
if what i wear is totally out of fashion
and for the record..
i was NOT wearing anything skimpy..
just a simple tank top and jeans..
so what the hell is wrong?!?!
piss off and keep ure bloody eyes to ure self..
i really shouldnt be fucking aiming my vent at my sister..
but most of it is..
centred that way..
dont you bloody see that what you do really matters to me???
dont you bloody get the fucking stresses and pressures i get?
i seriously dont need shit from you as well!!
dont you bloody ppl see?
that yes..
it seems so much easier just to smile..
than to go thru anything and explain..
just as K's msn nick states???
and of everything..
how bloody easy it is just forget and ignore..
but still when you get home..
the problems will still rise..
if they are problems that seem to slightly come up at home
tho really they arent anything major..
totally minor..
yet why the hell do they bloody affect me like this?
yesterday..
i asked my mum...
if i could work out in the resto..
during the holz..
coz i was going insane at home..
and the only reply i got..
was ill talk to ure dad..
last nite..
was told by my dad
"you dont need friends
you should be concentrating on study
reaching the aims and goals.."
UGH..
i NEED OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE
the HOUSE is driving me insane..
ive been stuck in these bloody fucking walls for so bloody long..
the only settings i only bloody ever see is either school or home
and occasionally
if im lucky the shop or resto...
this literally is TOO MUCH
im SICK OF IT..
i NEED OUT-AGE..
oh..
and then
"if you need to talk to any one..
talk to mum or your sister..
im sure they'll listen"
hmm..
i dont mind but HELLO!!
mum nearly NEVER at home..
and my sister?
sometimes the bloody cause of things..
yeah great that talk that'll end up being...
PLUS the fact that even if i tell her anything?
she'll either twist it totally out of shape and broadcast it..
OR
broadcast it and use it as blackmail for something or the other..
yep..
my dad SO understands the conditions of how much i can talk to ppl..
on the question
WHY THE FCUKING hell am i writing this up?
getting bit too personal..
but *sigh*
i think ill leave it at this..
a part vent is better than none..
nite
what is up with me..?
im going from crappy to being closed to f***** up..
with total random fluctuations of crappy moods..
to nearing happy to crappily ALL OVER AGAIN...
WARNING..
emotional out burst session..
does not neseccarily mean ill be in the same mood by the end..
hopefully all this ends up with me finishing happy :D
and back to crappy hw..
and for any **** if you really choose to..
in ure reading insert a vulgar term you know of..
may be more fun for your reading or wahtever..
i dont bloody give a damn..
now where to ...... start...
my main point?
im going bloody insane at home..
on the upside i spent practically the whole w/e
playing mahjong..
on the down side im practically going insane..
i reapeat insane...!!
there is absolutely NO one to talk to..
yeah there's msn.
yeah there's the fone..
but its not the bloody same..
STILL trapped in the same bloody surroundings..
OH and the fucking fact that
i COMPLETELY HATE talking on the FUCKING fone..
HMM..
and my bloody shitty sister..
my great crappy good-ness..
dont you bloody get the fact that
yes i take what you bloody say to heart?
and seriously it HURTS like F-ing hell when you say things?
yeah i like to hear the truth..
yeah i prefer honesty..
but sometimes..
you dont bloody understand do you???
couse you dont..
your so much younger..
so god forsakenly arrogant and selfcentred.
dont even bloody to take into account what you do actually say
it FING cuts some times
oh and the bloody fact that ..
SINCE YOUR my bloody sister..
that you dont seem to be able to get into your head..
that what you say
PPL TEND TO TAKE SERIOUSLY
why?
coz ure my bloody sister..
some ppl dont take into the account the fact that ure joking ...
coz of the fact that ure a KID
and the fact taht ure my sister..
they bloody fuking believe it..
oh waht else???
hmm.. NOT every BLOODY SIDE of me that you see.
IS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF ME..
what do you want me to do?
completly turn???
i have my limits to..
everyone has em..
and there is a certain degree of everything ppl can take..
and take at a certain amount of time..
just coz i dun do this at home..
jus coz i dont do that..
just coz YOU dont seem or hear me doing something.
does not mean that i may or may not do or say it..
god damnit!!
why is it that everyone seems to bind some kind of bloody FUCKING
ideal to every bloody person????
i mean i openly admit i have quite a few fucking sides..
and really
i know some others who have confided in me
that they themselves have more than one side..
now why cant everyone i bloody know accept that i DO
yes indeed i HAVE more than ONE FREAKING side..
i have EMOTIONS TOO!!!
i have the right to bloody react in whatever i choose like doing
i dont want to bloody fit the fucking constraints
of ideals you have of me coz thats only what you fucking see
and what of all the bloody *********** ********* and **********
who bloody stare..
what the bloody hell is wrong with you?
what is bloody wrong with me???
i walk past..
who bloody cares?
look at whatever you like..
but where the fuck is the need for total open staring?
i dont belong in some bloody zoo where ppl pay to come in
and openly stare and gasp at..
i aint trapped and confined to some bloody cage..
so leave me the well alone..
i wear what i choose so what the fuck is wrong with you?
this is a free country..
i wear what i like..
and really i dont bloody give a damn
if what i wear is totally out of fashion
and for the record..
i was NOT wearing anything skimpy..
just a simple tank top and jeans..
so what the hell is wrong?!?!
piss off and keep ure bloody eyes to ure self..
i really shouldnt be fucking aiming my vent at my sister..
but most of it is..
centred that way..
dont you bloody see that what you do really matters to me???
dont you bloody get the fucking stresses and pressures i get?
i seriously dont need shit from you as well!!
dont you bloody ppl see?
that yes..
it seems so much easier just to smile..
than to go thru anything and explain..
just as K's msn nick states???
and of everything..
how bloody easy it is just forget and ignore..
but still when you get home..
the problems will still rise..
if they are problems that seem to slightly come up at home
tho really they arent anything major..
totally minor..
yet why the hell do they bloody affect me like this?
yesterday..
i asked my mum...
if i could work out in the resto..
during the holz..
coz i was going insane at home..
and the only reply i got..
was ill talk to ure dad..
last nite..
was told by my dad
"you dont need friends
you should be concentrating on study
reaching the aims and goals.."
UGH..
i NEED OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE
the HOUSE is driving me insane..
ive been stuck in these bloody fucking walls for so bloody long..
the only settings i only bloody ever see is either school or home
and occasionally
if im lucky the shop or resto...
this literally is TOO MUCH
im SICK OF IT..
i NEED OUT-AGE..
oh..
and then
"if you need to talk to any one..
talk to mum or your sister..
im sure they'll listen"
hmm..
i dont mind but HELLO!!
mum nearly NEVER at home..
and my sister?
sometimes the bloody cause of things..
yeah great that talk that'll end up being...
PLUS the fact that even if i tell her anything?
she'll either twist it totally out of shape and broadcast it..
OR
broadcast it and use it as blackmail for something or the other..
yep..
my dad SO understands the conditions of how much i can talk to ppl..
on the question
WHY THE FCUKING hell am i writing this up?
getting bit too personal..
but *sigh*
i think ill leave it at this..
a part vent is better than none..
nite
Friday, March 24, 2006
Weekend at LAST!!!
its FINALLY the w/e
yay!!!
mm my week's gone by pretty crappily
i had both a lit oral and a h bio Common Task on thurs..
on wed nite i was up getting them done
(I could bring in an A4 sheet into my h bio CT)
and then
i woke up at like 5:30 am on thurs to get more done..
sent all the work to school..
and at school... in the morning..
the printers STUFFED UP..
i had a near major stress attack !
but yeah.. in the end they printed out the stuff
my h bio CT turned out ok.. i didnt even use the notes..
-.-" the fact that i woke up early to get em done sorta annoyed me..
i was running on lack of sleep..
then due to other groups taking more time than expected..
me and my partner didnt have to do our lit oral on thurs
SO much relief..
but i had a voice lesson after school..
and was told i was TOTALLY UTTERLY off tune..
and was due to tiredness and stress..
so i was like OMG !!
ah well..
guess tip for singing is no stress and tiredness
so got nowhere for that lesson..
then.. left the lesson..
went in search of my sister..
walked round the whole school
and even up to the boarding house and couldnt find her...
5 mins later i was heaps annoyed
and find her on the total opposite side of the school
with mum -.-"
so i was annoyed.. PLUS i was late for an orthodontal appt..
mm and got in a mini argument with mum over my sister and routine..
but ah well..
its ok now..
tho funnily today..
i was reading blogs..
my mum walks into the room..
and she was like "why arent you doing ure hw?"
i was like "im jus reading ppl's blogs"
and she went off on a tangent..
saying how not to read too much
saying that i could become
part of a suicidal cult from depression and reading self degrading material
so much for my mum's belief in my self esteem!!
hmm i havent talked bout today
since the lit oral was delayed..
i was sure that i had to present it today..
went into class
teacher asked what was wrong..?
coz i was fully stressed..
and i was like " i HATE orals.. im totally scared and can barely deal with em"
then teacher goes off on a patronising role liek she's meant to..
to comfort etc..
cept for me..
all that did was make me tear-y eye-d..
and im not sure if she realised it..
as she talked..
more tears welled up..
so she keeps talking...
then i sorta rudely walked out on her talking..
i HAD to go to the bathroom to wipe away the tears...
my god..
i gone from total stress and near break down..
to literal tears and crying.
talk bout instability/stress and nervous/mental breakdowns..
*sigh*
i went back to class all good..
then teacher who doesnt realise it..
went off AGAIN -.-"
i ended up CRYING ALL over again
my god..
im not sure if she realised she was partly triggering it..
i tried self composure again..
and she put in a few comforting words again..
And tears came again..
which in the end i was feeling really frustrated..
coz i wanted her to stop saying things so that i would stop crying..
cept she didnt get the point..
-.-"
so all the frustration..
i just ended up getting MORE stressed..
and got a blood nose
my day just was CRAPPY...
and these days..
i think i tend to have stress induced blood noses..
there doesnt seem to be any other possible factor other than weather..
i had a blood nose during chem test..
in the MIDDLE of the test..
and then some times when im stressed..
or tensed up.. or over excited.. tho rarely..
mainly occur due to stress..
tho only started this yr really..
ah well..
all i can say is THANK GOD for the weekend !!
yay!!!
mm my week's gone by pretty crappily
i had both a lit oral and a h bio Common Task on thurs..
on wed nite i was up getting them done
(I could bring in an A4 sheet into my h bio CT)
and then
i woke up at like 5:30 am on thurs to get more done..
sent all the work to school..
and at school... in the morning..
the printers STUFFED UP..
i had a near major stress attack !
but yeah.. in the end they printed out the stuff
my h bio CT turned out ok.. i didnt even use the notes..
-.-" the fact that i woke up early to get em done sorta annoyed me..
i was running on lack of sleep..
then due to other groups taking more time than expected..
me and my partner didnt have to do our lit oral on thurs
SO much relief..
but i had a voice lesson after school..
and was told i was TOTALLY UTTERLY off tune..
and was due to tiredness and stress..
so i was like OMG !!
ah well..
guess tip for singing is no stress and tiredness
so got nowhere for that lesson..
then.. left the lesson..
went in search of my sister..
walked round the whole school
and even up to the boarding house and couldnt find her...
5 mins later i was heaps annoyed
and find her on the total opposite side of the school
with mum -.-"
so i was annoyed.. PLUS i was late for an orthodontal appt..
mm and got in a mini argument with mum over my sister and routine..
but ah well..
its ok now..
tho funnily today..
i was reading blogs..
my mum walks into the room..
and she was like "why arent you doing ure hw?"
i was like "im jus reading ppl's blogs"
and she went off on a tangent..
saying how not to read too much
saying that i could become
part of a suicidal cult from depression and reading self degrading material
so much for my mum's belief in my self esteem!!
hmm i havent talked bout today
since the lit oral was delayed..
i was sure that i had to present it today..
went into class
teacher asked what was wrong..?
coz i was fully stressed..
and i was like " i HATE orals.. im totally scared and can barely deal with em"
then teacher goes off on a patronising role liek she's meant to..
to comfort etc..
cept for me..
all that did was make me tear-y eye-d..
and im not sure if she realised it..
as she talked..
more tears welled up..
so she keeps talking...
then i sorta rudely walked out on her talking..
i HAD to go to the bathroom to wipe away the tears...
my god..
i gone from total stress and near break down..
to literal tears and crying.
talk bout instability/stress and nervous/mental breakdowns..
*sigh*
i went back to class all good..
then teacher who doesnt realise it..
went off AGAIN -.-"
i ended up CRYING ALL over again
my god..
im not sure if she realised she was partly triggering it..
i tried self composure again..
and she put in a few comforting words again..
And tears came again..
which in the end i was feeling really frustrated..
coz i wanted her to stop saying things so that i would stop crying..
cept she didnt get the point..
-.-"
so all the frustration..
i just ended up getting MORE stressed..
and got a blood nose
my day just was CRAPPY...
and these days..
i think i tend to have stress induced blood noses..
there doesnt seem to be any other possible factor other than weather..
i had a blood nose during chem test..
in the MIDDLE of the test..
and then some times when im stressed..
or tensed up.. or over excited.. tho rarely..
mainly occur due to stress..
tho only started this yr really..
ah well..
all i can say is THANK GOD for the weekend !!
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Reflection and possible Vent
Sittin here..
and i hear fireworks outside :S
i was lookin thru some of my posts throughout the 3 yrs..
or nearing three yrs..
but realised how much my style has sorta changed..
jus the fact that its changed from a total diary...
a recount of what ive done each day/week
to something that's practically my
mental dumping ground..
or at least emotional venting place..
and seriously..
some of the things that i had done as quizes..
like quiz results..
i guess some of them are really applicable..
you know..
a thought that really sorta bugs me atm...
and i havent typed out..
well hopefully not..
its the fact that in both lit and RE..
they're like
"yes" we encouage you to think, challenge and interpret"
but they're like
"no, but you see..."
when you do make some interpretation..
and changing ure interpretation
-.-"
ugh..
where is the freedom of reading what you wanna read?
ugh..
realised im flooding my own board..
scar...
you said that feminine guys are hot...?
ure referring to those who are metro?
or just those who are in touch with their feminine side?
======================================================
And yet again..
a left over post from the previous day..
that was the 18th..
today's the 19th..
hey thats freaky..
scar you mentioned church on my tagboard..
and from yesterday's post
i was slightly talkin bout RE (Religious Education)...
which is now officially called CE (Christian Education)
since some BLOODY person had to be so bloody specific..
even tho we dun have much of a Christian orientation
int the subject anyways..
ok far from the whole making links between stuff..
why is it that..
if i look depressed that the assumption over the sadness
is either school or guys?
you know ppl..
you could just ask what its bout...
instead of randomly stabbing blindly in the dark..
trying to find the answer..
and if i choose to tell you then..
YAY you get to know..
other wise stuff u..
well not exactly stuff you..
but if i choose not to tell you ..
then you can either stay concerned..
OR
dont worry..
ppl get over things sooner or later..
but then again somehtings never change..
well unless ppl choose to and will to change..
its the whole choice thing then..
anyways..
continuing on with the vent..
questioner continues..
Quote: You're hot, You're rich.. wat else could be wrong?
whether im hot..
well up to each individual..
coz im not gonan argue bout pplz tastes...
but rich?
im not rich..
my parents bloody work their asses off..
its just that we have enough just to get by..
and what else could be wrong?
a whole bloody ton of things..
i dont wanna be perceived as taking everything for granted..
but there can be things that can be wrong..
and it doesnt have to be related to wealth, boys or education
well some of my issues do revolve around guys and education..
but that wasnt the reason i was sad..
well more of looking pissed off and annoyed..
anyways..
on to happier note..
yeah i agree with you scar..
feminine guys are really appealing..
tho depends to what degree..
:S
im jus picky i think with things..
well picky or pedantic bout randomt things..
and if not that..
im feeling guilty or regretful over one thing or the other..
*sigh*
hmm where did the happy note go to?
off with the fairies..
since it was happy and didnt really coexist
with my current mental state..
well im not sad atm
but im not happy either....
tho in away..
i was happy most of today..
which is goood :D
anyways..
chem test tomoz..
and i really cbb studying..
well im writing out some notes atm for revision..
and guess ill be doing revision qs early tomoz morning..
ugh..
this is just another reason for distraction..
kk gonna go study now..
nite
*hugz*
and i hear fireworks outside :S
i was lookin thru some of my posts throughout the 3 yrs..
or nearing three yrs..
but realised how much my style has sorta changed..
jus the fact that its changed from a total diary...
a recount of what ive done each day/week
to something that's practically my
mental dumping ground..
or at least emotional venting place..
and seriously..
some of the things that i had done as quizes..
like quiz results..
i guess some of them are really applicable..
you know..
a thought that really sorta bugs me atm...
and i havent typed out..
well hopefully not..
its the fact that in both lit and RE..
they're like
"yes" we encouage you to think, challenge and interpret"
but they're like
"no, but you see..."
when you do make some interpretation..
and changing ure interpretation
-.-"
ugh..
where is the freedom of reading what you wanna read?
ugh..
realised im flooding my own board..
scar...
you said that feminine guys are hot...?
ure referring to those who are metro?
or just those who are in touch with their feminine side?
======================================================
And yet again..
a left over post from the previous day..
that was the 18th..
today's the 19th..
hey thats freaky..
scar you mentioned church on my tagboard..
and from yesterday's post
i was slightly talkin bout RE (Religious Education)...
which is now officially called CE (Christian Education)
since some BLOODY person had to be so bloody specific..
even tho we dun have much of a Christian orientation
int the subject anyways..
ok far from the whole making links between stuff..
why is it that..
if i look depressed that the assumption over the sadness
is either school or guys?
you know ppl..
you could just ask what its bout...
instead of randomly stabbing blindly in the dark..
trying to find the answer..
and if i choose to tell you then..
YAY you get to know..
other wise stuff u..
well not exactly stuff you..
but if i choose not to tell you ..
then you can either stay concerned..
OR
dont worry..
ppl get over things sooner or later..
but then again somehtings never change..
well unless ppl choose to and will to change..
its the whole choice thing then..
anyways..
continuing on with the vent..
questioner continues..
Quote: You're hot, You're rich.. wat else could be wrong?
whether im hot..
well up to each individual..
coz im not gonan argue bout pplz tastes...
but rich?
im not rich..
my parents bloody work their asses off..
its just that we have enough just to get by..
and what else could be wrong?
a whole bloody ton of things..
i dont wanna be perceived as taking everything for granted..
but there can be things that can be wrong..
and it doesnt have to be related to wealth, boys or education
well some of my issues do revolve around guys and education..
but that wasnt the reason i was sad..
well more of looking pissed off and annoyed..
anyways..
on to happier note..
yeah i agree with you scar..
feminine guys are really appealing..
tho depends to what degree..
:S
im jus picky i think with things..
well picky or pedantic bout randomt things..
and if not that..
im feeling guilty or regretful over one thing or the other..
*sigh*
hmm where did the happy note go to?
off with the fairies..
since it was happy and didnt really coexist
with my current mental state..
well im not sad atm
but im not happy either....
tho in away..
i was happy most of today..
which is goood :D
anyways..
chem test tomoz..
and i really cbb studying..
well im writing out some notes atm for revision..
and guess ill be doing revision qs early tomoz morning..
ugh..
this is just another reason for distraction..
kk gonna go study now..
nite
*hugz*
Friday, March 17, 2006
Week 6 Term 1 of Yr 12... Now End of Week 7
Well really feel like bloggin..
but well nothign really to talk bout..
should be studying h bio..
but im sorta bored of that..
im hating my chem teacher atm..
she's so...
im actually dreading chem now..
which is a surprise..
ive always liked chems and pracs..
well pracs in general :P
im actually for the first time in my life
falling asleep in chem..
which is another new thing..
well not really first time ive fallen asleep
but its happend so much more often these days..
i seriously feel as if the lessons are pointless...
im serious..
i miss havin ms lewis teach..
its jus not the same..
physics..
im considering bout a tutor..
lit..
i so far aint liking..
the style of the poet we're studying now..
she seems interesting and all..
but i dun like her style of writing..
applic...
feels like i never have those lessons..
geog..
teacher is so cute ^^
so funny as well
and obviously the fact that
we have those lil 5 minute rests :P
h bio..
not really much comment..
my teacher is my tutor..
at least she aint checkin hw :P
well..
long w/e is over..
my highlight i guess was really mon nite..
went out to sizzlers with parents..
and watched casanova after..
nice movie..
my mum sorta didnt understand it much..
my sister found it boring
my dad slept thru the whole thing..
i wonder who enjoyed it most?
ah well at least it was time spent as family :D
hmm had a random thought..
guess i will be typing an slightly opinionated post after all..
:P
Note: TOTAL generalisation..
not directed at anyone like some posts..
and off the top of my head...
why is it..
that guys..
well..
==========================================
taht was nearing a whole week ago
-.-"
that was the 8th of March..
it is now the 13th...
so off the top of my head..
i cant exactly remember the main topic..
-.-"
==========================================
14/3/06
wanna get this post over and done with..
i dun want this overhanging posts..
jus sitting there..
jus like some others of mine..
which never end up being published..
and you know what?
i remembered what i was typin bout..
the very first time..
before the cut off...
guys..
why is it..
(and i guess can be partly my fault)
that unless they open a conversation..
there is a lower chance of replies?
like a conversation does require a person speaking
and a person replying..
ugh.. its jus a stinking tuesday..
i want the w/e..
looks like this wont be finished.. -.-"
===========================================
ok seriously determined to finish this...
its the 17th..
but dunno what to talk of....
and ive totally completly lost the idea
of my weirded convo discuss thingy..
bleh..
dying post..
better end it here..
nite nite
*hugz*
but well nothign really to talk bout..
should be studying h bio..
but im sorta bored of that..
im hating my chem teacher atm..
she's so...
im actually dreading chem now..
which is a surprise..
ive always liked chems and pracs..
well pracs in general :P
im actually for the first time in my life
falling asleep in chem..
which is another new thing..
well not really first time ive fallen asleep
but its happend so much more often these days..
i seriously feel as if the lessons are pointless...
im serious..
i miss havin ms lewis teach..
its jus not the same..
physics..
im considering bout a tutor..
lit..
i so far aint liking..
the style of the poet we're studying now..
she seems interesting and all..
but i dun like her style of writing..
applic...
feels like i never have those lessons..
geog..
teacher is so cute ^^
so funny as well
and obviously the fact that
we have those lil 5 minute rests :P
h bio..
not really much comment..
my teacher is my tutor..
at least she aint checkin hw :P
well..
long w/e is over..
my highlight i guess was really mon nite..
went out to sizzlers with parents..
and watched casanova after..
nice movie..
my mum sorta didnt understand it much..
my sister found it boring
my dad slept thru the whole thing..
i wonder who enjoyed it most?
ah well at least it was time spent as family :D
hmm had a random thought..
guess i will be typing an slightly opinionated post after all..
:P
Note: TOTAL generalisation..
not directed at anyone like some posts..
and off the top of my head...
why is it..
that guys..
well..
==========================================
taht was nearing a whole week ago
-.-"
that was the 8th of March..
it is now the 13th...
so off the top of my head..
i cant exactly remember the main topic..
-.-"
==========================================
14/3/06
wanna get this post over and done with..
i dun want this overhanging posts..
jus sitting there..
jus like some others of mine..
which never end up being published..
and you know what?
i remembered what i was typin bout..
the very first time..
before the cut off...
guys..
why is it..
(and i guess can be partly my fault)
that unless they open a conversation..
there is a lower chance of replies?
like a conversation does require a person speaking
and a person replying..
ugh.. its jus a stinking tuesday..
i want the w/e..
looks like this wont be finished.. -.-"
===========================================
ok seriously determined to finish this...
its the 17th..
but dunno what to talk of....
and ive totally completly lost the idea
of my weirded convo discuss thingy..
bleh..
dying post..
better end it here..
nite nite
*hugz*
Random Tags...
This random tag thingy....
*self tagged since im bored.. off kura's blog*
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
After my picture fades and darkness has turned to grey.
Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm OK.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Empty Space..
3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?
um.. the commonwealth games opening ceremony..
well not the whole thing.. in attempt of taping it..
due to the fact i sorta had to write notes for geog..
as my form of study yesterday..
4.Without looking, guess what time it is:
Well.. came home 4:30 so approx 5:30pm ?
5.Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
What's the Time Mr Wolf?
It's 5:28 o'clock in the arvo
6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Song: Dong Xin
its pretty nice ^^
otherwise.. i hear my mum clanking away in the kitchen..
dunno what she's doing..
7.When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
when i got home.. went outside..
to see the what the person dude who's building for us
has done so far..
-.-" i jus found out today we're having something built
8.Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Kura's blog? that is where i got i from..
9.What are you wearing?
Do you really need to know?
blue singlet top.. and jeans
10.Did you dream last night?
No.. too tired for that..
well at least if i did i doubt i'd remember by this time of day..
11. When did you last laugh?
mm.. some time in private study..
cant remember over what tho :S
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
On the walls? nothing really.. got a few stars..
the walls are light pink.. and um..
they'res gonna be those glow in the dark hearts on em..
when i get the botherance to actually stick em up..
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Life in General?
14. What do you think of this quiz?
thought it would be an original diff one at the start..
but now the q are getting pretty boring..
15. What is the last film you saw?
Notebook.. a few days ago..
we rented it out..
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
no idea... better world? tho totally naive.. we can always dream:P
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
i am ALIVE!!
nah... um...
what dont you know?
you dont know me..
there can be too many sides..
of which no one has seen all
god sounds so corny -.-"
=============================================
that was yesterday...
anyways continuing on...
18. If you could change one thing about the world,
regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
simple... ask for a better world.. as naive as that thought is..
19. Do you like to dance?
Yes!! but doesnt mean im can -.-"
20. George Bush:
Current President of USA
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Haven't thought that far..
and cbb
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
ditto above answer...
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
ditto above.. tho europe or USA seems nice
-------------------------------------------------
Random thingy 2..
Starting off with 100%..
minus 1% point per thing you admit to have done..
Me : 60%
1.Smoked
.2.Drank alcohol.
3.Cried when someone died.
4.Been drunk.
5.Had sex.
6.Been to a concert.
7.Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
8.Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
9.Been verbally sexually harassed.
10.Verbally sexually harassed somebody.
11.Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12.Laughed so hard something came out of your
nose.
13.Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14.Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15.Been to prom.
16.Cried at school.
17.Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18.Went streaking.
19.Given a lap dance.
20.Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
21.Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22.Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23.Kissed a stranger.
24.Hugged a stranger.
25.Went scuba diving.
26.Driven a car.
27.Gotten an xray.
28.Hit by a car.
29.Had a party.
30.Done drugs.
31.Played strip poker.
32.Got paid to strip for someone.
33.Ran away from home.
34.Broken a bone.
35.Eaten sushi.
36.Bought porn.
37.Watched porn.
38.Made porn.
39.Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
40.Been in love.
41.Frenched kissed.
42.Laughed so hard you cried.
43.Cried yourself to sleep.
44.Laughed yourself to sleep.
45.Stabbed yourself.
46.Shot a gun.
47.Trash talked someone and then acted like their
best friend the next day.
48.Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
49.Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
50.Watched an animal die.
51.Watched a person die.
52.Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with
at least 1 person present.
53.Pranked somebody.
54.Put somebody in the hospital.
55.Snuck into someone's room and/or your own
room after being out.
56.Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57.Dressed punk.
58.Dressed goth.
59.Dressed preppy.
60.Been to a motocross race.
61.Avoided somebody.
62.Been stalked.
63.Stalked someone.
64.Met a celebrity.
65.Played an instrument.
66.Ridden a horse.
67.Cut yourself.
68.Bungee jumped.
69.Ding dong ditched somebody.
70.Been to a wild party.
71.Got caught stealing something.
72.Kicked a guy in the balls.
73.Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74.Went out with your friend's crush.
75.Got arrested.
76.Been pregnant.
77.Babysat.
78.Been to another country.
79.Started your house on fire.
80.Had an encounter with a ghost.
81.Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82.Been asked out by someone that you never
though you'd to be asked out by.
83.Cried over a member of the opposite sex
84.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
85.Sat on your ass all day.
86.Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87.Had a job.
88.Gotten cut from a sports team.
89.Been called a wh0re.
90.Danced like a wh0re
91.Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92.Been in a car accident.
93.Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94.Been told you have beautiful hair.
95.Raped somebody.
96.Danced in the rain.
97.Been rejected.
98.Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99.Punched someone/slapped someone in the
face.
100.Been raped
*self tagged since im bored.. off kura's blog*
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
After my picture fades and darkness has turned to grey.
Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm OK.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Empty Space..
3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?
um.. the commonwealth games opening ceremony..
well not the whole thing.. in attempt of taping it..
due to the fact i sorta had to write notes for geog..
as my form of study yesterday..
4.Without looking, guess what time it is:
Well.. came home 4:30 so approx 5:30pm ?
5.Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
What's the Time Mr Wolf?
It's 5:28 o'clock in the arvo
6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Song: Dong Xin
its pretty nice ^^
otherwise.. i hear my mum clanking away in the kitchen..
dunno what she's doing..
7.When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
when i got home.. went outside..
to see the what the person dude who's building for us
has done so far..
-.-" i jus found out today we're having something built
8.Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Kura's blog? that is where i got i from..
9.What are you wearing?
Do you really need to know?
blue singlet top.. and jeans
10.Did you dream last night?
No.. too tired for that..
well at least if i did i doubt i'd remember by this time of day..
11. When did you last laugh?
mm.. some time in private study..
cant remember over what tho :S
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
On the walls? nothing really.. got a few stars..
the walls are light pink.. and um..
they'res gonna be those glow in the dark hearts on em..
when i get the botherance to actually stick em up..
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Life in General?
14. What do you think of this quiz?
thought it would be an original diff one at the start..
but now the q are getting pretty boring..
15. What is the last film you saw?
Notebook.. a few days ago..
we rented it out..
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
no idea... better world? tho totally naive.. we can always dream:P
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
i am ALIVE!!
nah... um...
what dont you know?
you dont know me..
there can be too many sides..
of which no one has seen all
god sounds so corny -.-"
=============================================
that was yesterday...
anyways continuing on...
18. If you could change one thing about the world,
regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
simple... ask for a better world.. as naive as that thought is..
19. Do you like to dance?
Yes!! but doesnt mean im can -.-"
20. George Bush:
Current President of USA
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Haven't thought that far..
and cbb
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
ditto above answer...
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
ditto above.. tho europe or USA seems nice
-------------------------------------------------
Random thingy 2..
Starting off with 100%..
minus 1% point per thing you admit to have done..
Me : 60%
1.Smoked
.2.Drank alcohol.
3.Cried when someone died.
4.Been drunk.
5.Had sex.
6.Been to a concert.
7.Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
8.Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
9.Been verbally sexually harassed.
10.Verbally sexually harassed somebody.
11.Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12.Laughed so hard something came out of your
nose.
13.Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14.Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15.Been to prom.
16.Cried at school.
17.Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18.Went streaking.
19.Given a lap dance.
20.Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
21.Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22.Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23.Kissed a stranger.
24.Hugged a stranger.
25.Went scuba diving.
26.Driven a car.
27.Gotten an xray.
28.Hit by a car.
29.Had a party.
30.Done drugs.
31.Played strip poker.
32.Got paid to strip for someone.
33.Ran away from home.
34.Broken a bone.
35.Eaten sushi.
36.Bought porn.
37.Watched porn.
38.Made porn.
39.Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
40.Been in love.
41.Frenched kissed.
42.Laughed so hard you cried.
43.Cried yourself to sleep.
44.Laughed yourself to sleep.
45.Stabbed yourself.
46.Shot a gun.
47.Trash talked someone and then acted like their
best friend the next day.
48.Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
49.Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
50.Watched an animal die.
51.Watched a person die.
52.Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with
at least 1 person present.
53.Pranked somebody.
54.Put somebody in the hospital.
55.Snuck into someone's room and/or your own
room after being out.
56.Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57.Dressed punk.
58.Dressed goth.
59.Dressed preppy.
60.Been to a motocross race.
61.Avoided somebody.
62.Been stalked.
63.Stalked someone.
64.Met a celebrity.
65.Played an instrument.
66.Ridden a horse.
67.Cut yourself.
68.Bungee jumped.
69.Ding dong ditched somebody.
70.Been to a wild party.
71.Got caught stealing something.
72.Kicked a guy in the balls.
73.Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74.Went out with your friend's crush.
75.Got arrested.
76.Been pregnant.
77.Babysat.
78.Been to another country.
79.Started your house on fire.
80.Had an encounter with a ghost.
81.Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82.Been asked out by someone that you never
though you'd to be asked out by.
83.Cried over a member of the opposite sex
84.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
85.Sat on your ass all day.
86.Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87.Had a job.
88.Gotten cut from a sports team.
89.Been called a wh0re.
90.Danced like a wh0re
91.Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92.Been in a car accident.
93.Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94.Been told you have beautiful hair.
95.Raped somebody.
96.Danced in the rain.
97.Been rejected.
98.Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99.Punched someone/slapped someone in the
face.
100.Been raped
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Long Weekend... Viva Love Generation
Well..
nearing a whole week from the ball...
and atm..
all i feel is weak...
well at the very current moment that is..
really this post was gonna be all happy happy
recaps and everything..
but i just cant bring myself up to it..
now that i have time to actually type this..
its just like total deflation..
im writing an email to someone atm...
and like seriously..
it feels like there's nothing happening..
the week after the ball its just all downhill..
its like there's nothing to look forward to..
but at the same time..
suffering post ball blues..
its like..
im distracted even tho im not meant to be..
i should be concentrating..
i stuffed up my lit essay on wed..
and well today...
3 assessments were totally two words...
F-KED UP
*sigh*
On the monday after the ball..
went on soup patrol...
guess it really was a new experience...
just the sight of so many ppl...
well i was sorta expecting more in my mind..
but still
the fact that there really are ppl there
who do use the services..
yes its good they do get a decent food intake..
but it just disturbs me..
the fact taht there were ppl there
i didnt really mind..
the fact taht i saw a kid there who ran away from home
really shook my lil bubble world...
the fact taht some kid really did just run away
and was perfectly happy bout living on the street...
i sorta shouldnt be talking bout it..
and well im not really making judgements on anything
but for me personally i found it as something
that i really hadn't encountered before..
the whole soup serving was actually quite fun..
the cleaning obviously wasnt..
and getting home...
EVERYWHERE i went..
even AFTER a shower...
and changing...
i STILL smelt it EVERYHWERE
the bloody soup smell..
UGH...
it was like mush..
but hey most likely nutritional..
made by a hospital
so bound to have all needed nutrients im sure..
Great way to start a w/e...
finding out there's talk of you in another school
*sigh*
and thats on top of the already thing
that is still overhanging some other school...
i have no connections to these things
i dont really have close friends in other schools...
WHY me???
why is it that i cant escape these things?
tho then again..
sometimes i just wish that i had a friend..
that i totally grew up with..
where there really would be no problem discussing things with..
coz i know there are things i can talk bout to some ppl
but then again i cant talk to others about...
and really..
there's the whole distrust..
no offense to some ppl..
if ure reading and you do get offended...
but somethings.. if it talk too much bout it..
i feel like im just self obsessing..
others i feel like i cant talk..
in fear of it becoming any form of gossip..
and then on top of that..
for some i feel like i cant talk over connections..
liek i can talk bout ppl..
but if they dun know the person im talkin bout..
its like pointless..
since all taht happens is i have to explain everything..
of which i'll just end up telling part truth..
which will lead to further repurcussions of the same subject...
coz i wanna finish it off..
*sigh*
why is it that there really isnt anyone..
that knows of the ppl i wanna talk bout..
that i can talk to in total full confidience?
but at times there are..
but then again..
its just that there's teh fear of waht i say..
being used against me..
after all it happens alot...
*sigh*
with this whole build up..
its just like..
it just feels weakening..
it just lowers me..
dragging me down..
why i cant get over these things i dunno..
and really..
seeking comfort over things..
its just like there seems to be no place i can hide..
not really a shelter..
where i can just block out any thoughts in any set of moments..
and over all..
overshadowing all this..
it always leads to my sister..
both my mum and my sister..
i dont wanna blame em..
but then again..
it feels like im tied down to my sister..
well yes..
it is the whole duty..
but..
i feel like i blame it too much
over the whole lack of childhood "friends"..
but of the ones i really did have
i dunno
they just really arent that close..
if i keep pushing the blame..
i could blame em forever..
but really i think as far as friendships go..
i think it just seems to be..
that there is the lack of connection..
could be that i just dont open up or whatever..
yes in the last few yrs ive gotten to know really lovely friends..
but sometimes..
i feel like the link there..
in itself is just too weak..
and really..
it takes two to keep any relationship going
any friendship..
any connection..
when talk becomes scarce..
all that happens will be the thin-en-ing
of the connection..
ppl become distant..
*sigh*
somethings scare me..
somethings just too confusing..
and as my usual..
i try not to face it...
but i guess these things..
they really surface..
when anyone reminds me..
or just teh simple fact that i have time to think..
reflection..
what has happened..
what could happen...
i really..
i dunno i wanna just hide..
hide from the world..
hide from causes..
and hide from teh effects..
maybe it could be a slight factor of my oblivious-ness..
i just dont wanna know
i wanna be shielded..
just Dont wanna know..
well anyways..
getting late
nite nite
*hugz*
nearing a whole week from the ball...
and atm..
all i feel is weak...
well at the very current moment that is..
really this post was gonna be all happy happy
recaps and everything..
but i just cant bring myself up to it..
now that i have time to actually type this..
its just like total deflation..
im writing an email to someone atm...
and like seriously..
it feels like there's nothing happening..
the week after the ball its just all downhill..
its like there's nothing to look forward to..
but at the same time..
suffering post ball blues..
its like..
im distracted even tho im not meant to be..
i should be concentrating..
i stuffed up my lit essay on wed..
and well today...
3 assessments were totally two words...
F-KED UP
*sigh*
On the monday after the ball..
went on soup patrol...
guess it really was a new experience...
just the sight of so many ppl...
well i was sorta expecting more in my mind..
but still
the fact that there really are ppl there
who do use the services..
yes its good they do get a decent food intake..
but it just disturbs me..
the fact taht there were ppl there
i didnt really mind..
the fact taht i saw a kid there who ran away from home
really shook my lil bubble world...
the fact taht some kid really did just run away
and was perfectly happy bout living on the street...
i sorta shouldnt be talking bout it..
and well im not really making judgements on anything
but for me personally i found it as something
that i really hadn't encountered before..
the whole soup serving was actually quite fun..
the cleaning obviously wasnt..
and getting home...
EVERYWHERE i went..
even AFTER a shower...
and changing...
i STILL smelt it EVERYHWERE
the bloody soup smell..
UGH...
it was like mush..
but hey most likely nutritional..
made by a hospital
so bound to have all needed nutrients im sure..
Great way to start a w/e...
finding out there's talk of you in another school
*sigh*
and thats on top of the already thing
that is still overhanging some other school...
i have no connections to these things
i dont really have close friends in other schools...
WHY me???
why is it that i cant escape these things?
tho then again..
sometimes i just wish that i had a friend..
that i totally grew up with..
where there really would be no problem discussing things with..
coz i know there are things i can talk bout to some ppl
but then again i cant talk to others about...
and really..
there's the whole distrust..
no offense to some ppl..
if ure reading and you do get offended...
but somethings.. if it talk too much bout it..
i feel like im just self obsessing..
others i feel like i cant talk..
in fear of it becoming any form of gossip..
and then on top of that..
for some i feel like i cant talk over connections..
liek i can talk bout ppl..
but if they dun know the person im talkin bout..
its like pointless..
since all taht happens is i have to explain everything..
of which i'll just end up telling part truth..
which will lead to further repurcussions of the same subject...
coz i wanna finish it off..
*sigh*
why is it that there really isnt anyone..
that knows of the ppl i wanna talk bout..
that i can talk to in total full confidience?
but at times there are..
but then again..
its just that there's teh fear of waht i say..
being used against me..
after all it happens alot...
*sigh*
with this whole build up..
its just like..
it just feels weakening..
it just lowers me..
dragging me down..
why i cant get over these things i dunno..
and really..
seeking comfort over things..
its just like there seems to be no place i can hide..
not really a shelter..
where i can just block out any thoughts in any set of moments..
and over all..
overshadowing all this..
it always leads to my sister..
both my mum and my sister..
i dont wanna blame em..
but then again..
it feels like im tied down to my sister..
well yes..
it is the whole duty..
but..
i feel like i blame it too much
over the whole lack of childhood "friends"..
but of the ones i really did have
i dunno
they just really arent that close..
if i keep pushing the blame..
i could blame em forever..
but really i think as far as friendships go..
i think it just seems to be..
that there is the lack of connection..
could be that i just dont open up or whatever..
yes in the last few yrs ive gotten to know really lovely friends..
but sometimes..
i feel like the link there..
in itself is just too weak..
and really..
it takes two to keep any relationship going
any friendship..
any connection..
when talk becomes scarce..
all that happens will be the thin-en-ing
of the connection..
ppl become distant..
*sigh*
somethings scare me..
somethings just too confusing..
and as my usual..
i try not to face it...
but i guess these things..
they really surface..
when anyone reminds me..
or just teh simple fact that i have time to think..
reflection..
what has happened..
what could happen...
i really..
i dunno i wanna just hide..
hide from the world..
hide from causes..
and hide from teh effects..
maybe it could be a slight factor of my oblivious-ness..
i just dont wanna know
i wanna be shielded..
just Dont wanna know..
well anyways..
getting late
nite nite
*hugz*
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Email Forward : How old is Grandma ?
i really should be posting bout ball
it was fun and all
but cbb atm..
maybe next week ill do a summary with pix...
since i can load atm..
but here's an email forward i got..
interesting..
tho not sure bout the accuracy in age...
since it being an email..
and well times change
so not known the number of yrs to add on to the age of the email
and the answer
but ah well
================================================
How old is Grandma?
Stay with this the answer is at the end it will blow you
away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about
current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the
shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born
before:
*television
*penicillin
*polio shots
*frozen foods
*Xerox
*contact lenses
*Frisbees
*the pill.
There was no:
*radar
*credit cards
*laser beams
*ball-point pens
Man had not invented:
*pantyhose
*air conditioners
*dishwashers
*clothes dryers and the clothes were
hung out to dry in the fresh air
*and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.
*Your Grandfather and I got married first-and then lived
together.
*Every family had a father and a mother.
*Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir'- and
after I turned 25, I still called policemen
and every man with a title, 'Sir.'
*We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers,
daycare centers,and group therapy.
*Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,
good judgment, and common sense.
*We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong
and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
*Serving your country was a privilege
*living in this country was a bigger privilege.
*We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
*Having a meaningful relationship meant
getting along with your cousins.
*Draft dodgers were people who closed their
front doors when the evening breeze started.
*Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the
evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
*We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
typewriters, yoghurt, or guys wearing earrings.
*We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's
speeches on our radios.
*And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out
listening to Tommy Dorsey.
*If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
*The term 'making out' referred to
how you did on your school exam.
*Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
*We had 5 &10-cent stores where you
could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
*Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi
were all a nickel.
*And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel
on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
*You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600
but who could afford one?
*Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day:
*"grass" was mowed
*"coke" was a cold drink
*"pot" was something your mother cooked in and
*"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
*"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office
*"chip" meant a piece of wood,
*"hardware" was found in a hardware store and
*"software" wasn't even a word.
*And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady
needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and
confused" and say there is a generation gap...
and how old do you think I am?
I bet you have this old lady in mind...you are in for a shock!
pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the
same time.
This Woman would be only 58 years old!
hope you enjoyed
nite
*hugz*
it was fun and all
but cbb atm..
maybe next week ill do a summary with pix...
since i can load atm..
but here's an email forward i got..
interesting..
tho not sure bout the accuracy in age...
since it being an email..
and well times change
so not known the number of yrs to add on to the age of the email
and the answer
but ah well
================================================
How old is Grandma?
Stay with this the answer is at the end it will blow you
away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about
current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the
shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born
before:
*television
*penicillin
*polio shots
*frozen foods
*Xerox
*contact lenses
*Frisbees
*the pill.
There was no:
*radar
*credit cards
*laser beams
*ball-point pens
Man had not invented:
*pantyhose
*air conditioners
*dishwashers
*clothes dryers and the clothes were
hung out to dry in the fresh air
*and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.
*Your Grandfather and I got married first-and then lived
together.
*Every family had a father and a mother.
*Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir'- and
after I turned 25, I still called policemen
and every man with a title, 'Sir.'
*We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers,
daycare centers,and group therapy.
*Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,
good judgment, and common sense.
*We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong
and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
*Serving your country was a privilege
*living in this country was a bigger privilege.
*We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
*Having a meaningful relationship meant
getting along with your cousins.
*Draft dodgers were people who closed their
front doors when the evening breeze started.
*Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the
evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
*We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
typewriters, yoghurt, or guys wearing earrings.
*We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's
speeches on our radios.
*And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out
listening to Tommy Dorsey.
*If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
*The term 'making out' referred to
how you did on your school exam.
*Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
*We had 5 &10-cent stores where you
could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
*Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi
were all a nickel.
*And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel
on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
*You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600
but who could afford one?
*Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day:
*"grass" was mowed
*"coke" was a cold drink
*"pot" was something your mother cooked in and
*"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
*"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office
*"chip" meant a piece of wood,
*"hardware" was found in a hardware store and
*"software" wasn't even a word.
*And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady
needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and
confused" and say there is a generation gap...
and how old do you think I am?
I bet you have this old lady in mind...you are in for a shock!
pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the
same time.
This Woman would be only 58 years old!
hope you enjoyed
nite
*hugz*
Thursday, February 23, 2006
PISS OFF!!!
ok..
this is totally not directed in anyone in general
but i really wanna vent this off..
well actually it is directed at someone..
just an msn contact...
who most likely doesnt read..
FUCKING HELL..
don't you get the fact that i DELETED AND BLOCKED YOU..
i DON'T wanna TALK TO YOU..
i HAVENT spoken to you AT ALL
for like nearing TWO or THREE YEARS..
and yet you add me all over AGAIN
with a DIFF EMAIL
and just say how "offended" you are that i blocked you
and you found out..
whoppiee..
fine i apologised..
and since that conversation..
where i went on a total guilt trip over blocking you...
i havent talked to you in weeks nearing months..
even tho u and i are online all the time...
dont you get the point?
i STILL dont wanna talk to you..
GO AWAY..
dont you get it?
you talk to me
and i choose not to answer the questions
and i truthfully did say that i did not wanna tell you stuff
so seriously stop asking q
i dont want anything to do with you
====================================================
ok ok
much much better
i'd like to type a full post
on actual opinions..
but since my parents are home
nite nite
*hugz*
this is totally not directed in anyone in general
but i really wanna vent this off..
well actually it is directed at someone..
just an msn contact...
who most likely doesnt read..
FUCKING HELL..
don't you get the fact that i DELETED AND BLOCKED YOU..
i DON'T wanna TALK TO YOU..
i HAVENT spoken to you AT ALL
for like nearing TWO or THREE YEARS..
and yet you add me all over AGAIN
with a DIFF EMAIL
and just say how "offended" you are that i blocked you
and you found out..
whoppiee..
fine i apologised..
and since that conversation..
where i went on a total guilt trip over blocking you...
i havent talked to you in weeks nearing months..
even tho u and i are online all the time...
dont you get the point?
i STILL dont wanna talk to you..
GO AWAY..
dont you get it?
you talk to me
and i choose not to answer the questions
and i truthfully did say that i did not wanna tell you stuff
so seriously stop asking q
i dont want anything to do with you
====================================================
ok ok
much much better
i'd like to type a full post
on actual opinions..
but since my parents are home
nite nite
*hugz*
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Disgusted . . .
over and over again..
why oh why do i even find shock in it?
i mean HOW MESSED UP CAN SOME PPL GET..
ok there are really sickening ppl in the world..
but some deeds just get WAY to sickening
well ok fine SOME deeds my have a reason behind em
and you have to look at the circumstances
and both sides of the story
but sometimes just the side that is reported
just feels like its enough heard to really convict ppl
or just label them for the monster they could be OR are..
and yes..
from the single sided view of media..
watched the news this evening..
first time ever! well not really...
but first time in a long time..
anyways..
there was this story in the latter part of the news..
so not really one of those major headline things..
but still sickening...
some CARETAKER of a nursing home for the elderly
RAPED yes RAPED (ok being raped is sorta normal is
kk brb...
gotta go watch the odessy
finish later ============
and yes..
i have to get this done..
other wise yet another procrastinated post is added on to the list..
back to the news story..
Caretaker of elderly nursing home + RAPED + ...
several ELDERLY GRANDMAS!! some with a deteriorating mind =
the thought is just sickening..
over a bloody TWO month span this whole thing kept occuring
and guess what?
the elderly ladies were aged 90+
that is just plain FOUL
sexual assault towards these citizens
whom really should be receiving care and respect..
put in a nursing home..
where they're own family would be trustingly believing
their parents were in great hands..
maybe of prof staff?
and this kinda thing happens..
well thats my view...
after the presentation from the media..
but like.. if i saw other reasons..
i may side with the dude..
but really from what i see?
THERE should be ABSOLUTELY NO sympathy for him..
there are no possible reasons i can think of
for these kinds of acts..
being judgemental really..
i dunno whats up..
im actually expressing opinions more often..
or that i just noticed that i DO express my opinion quite a lot..
:S
anyways..
im just guilty over judging some ppl..
and actually either thinking it up..
or actually saying it..
but still
what they CHOOSE to do is their CHOICE..
they will always be bound to judgement FOR their choice
coz if one person doesnt express..
another will surely..
i mean how many ppl observe how many acts?
some go unseen..
some uncommented..
but still
acts will be judged..
and the fact that once observed..
the observer will form a judgement
and views of a person can change so easily
the way that ppl react..
to something new..
to something that may totally
bring down the ideals of a person..
a person's world can just collapse..
but what they choose to do after that..
how they deal can be something admired..
or something that is observed by another in total disgust..
god..
im generalising so much
but this is really my life recently
a whole series of events..
one linked to another in some way
just everything linked
spiralling around...
swirling around in my mind..
whether the action occured near me..
or i heard it second hand..
third hand even..
and what of rumours?
dont we all love them?
god im subject hopping a lot..
no wonder my lit essay had no structure -.-"
ugh well
at least something to talk bout..
or im just rushing
the need to get this done..
i have no idea personally
but somethings just have to be expressed..
sometimes often..
sometimes not at all..
but sooner or later..
what's boiled up inside..
may explode..
and what as seen as calm and collect..
may just be another savage life changing crisis...
and what of our lives?
how some simple single acts..
in a few seconds.. minuets..
hours...
our life takes another sharp turn...
everything which you worked for...
can just totally tumble..
and all those aims..
beautiful dreams and endless skies..
what of them?
nothing but dreams in the end..
when shattered..
the bits of glass..
of which we were looking through.
our lovely vision
gone.. floats away..
out of our grasp
out of our reach..
no longer part..
no longer touchable...
*sigh*
train of thought just derailed..
:(
just went and talked..
and gone now
*sigh*
my dear muse..
where art thou?
and no im not suggesting any particular person..
just a something to say to get me typing again.
and yay it worked :D
...
..
.
or not..
-.-"
*sigh*
or maybe this should be long enough...
for those who've read this far..
congrats:D
wd with the endurance of reading..
or just skimming..
kk
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*
why oh why do i even find shock in it?
i mean HOW MESSED UP CAN SOME PPL GET..
ok there are really sickening ppl in the world..
but some deeds just get WAY to sickening
well ok fine SOME deeds my have a reason behind em
and you have to look at the circumstances
and both sides of the story
but sometimes just the side that is reported
just feels like its enough heard to really convict ppl
or just label them for the monster they could be OR are..
and yes..
from the single sided view of media..
watched the news this evening..
first time ever! well not really...
but first time in a long time..
anyways..
there was this story in the latter part of the news..
so not really one of those major headline things..
but still sickening...
some CARETAKER of a nursing home for the elderly
RAPED yes RAPED (ok being raped is sorta normal is
kk brb...
gotta go watch the odessy
finish later ============
and yes..
i have to get this done..
other wise yet another procrastinated post is added on to the list..
back to the news story..
Caretaker of elderly nursing home + RAPED + ...
several ELDERLY GRANDMAS!! some with a deteriorating mind =
the thought is just sickening..
over a bloody TWO month span this whole thing kept occuring
and guess what?
the elderly ladies were aged 90+
that is just plain FOUL
sexual assault towards these citizens
whom really should be receiving care and respect..
put in a nursing home..
where they're own family would be trustingly believing
their parents were in great hands..
maybe of prof staff?
and this kinda thing happens..
well thats my view...
after the presentation from the media..
but like.. if i saw other reasons..
i may side with the dude..
but really from what i see?
THERE should be ABSOLUTELY NO sympathy for him..
there are no possible reasons i can think of
for these kinds of acts..
being judgemental really..
i dunno whats up..
im actually expressing opinions more often..
or that i just noticed that i DO express my opinion quite a lot..
:S
anyways..
im just guilty over judging some ppl..
and actually either thinking it up..
or actually saying it..
but still
what they CHOOSE to do is their CHOICE..
they will always be bound to judgement FOR their choice
coz if one person doesnt express..
another will surely..
i mean how many ppl observe how many acts?
some go unseen..
some uncommented..
but still
acts will be judged..
and the fact that once observed..
the observer will form a judgement
and views of a person can change so easily
the way that ppl react..
to something new..
to something that may totally
bring down the ideals of a person..
a person's world can just collapse..
but what they choose to do after that..
how they deal can be something admired..
or something that is observed by another in total disgust..
god..
im generalising so much
but this is really my life recently
a whole series of events..
one linked to another in some way
just everything linked
spiralling around...
swirling around in my mind..
whether the action occured near me..
or i heard it second hand..
third hand even..
and what of rumours?
dont we all love them?
god im subject hopping a lot..
no wonder my lit essay had no structure -.-"
ugh well
at least something to talk bout..
or im just rushing
the need to get this done..
i have no idea personally
but somethings just have to be expressed..
sometimes often..
sometimes not at all..
but sooner or later..
what's boiled up inside..
may explode..
and what as seen as calm and collect..
may just be another savage life changing crisis...
and what of our lives?
how some simple single acts..
in a few seconds.. minuets..
hours...
our life takes another sharp turn...
everything which you worked for...
can just totally tumble..
and all those aims..
beautiful dreams and endless skies..
what of them?
nothing but dreams in the end..
when shattered..
the bits of glass..
of which we were looking through.
our lovely vision
gone.. floats away..
out of our grasp
out of our reach..
no longer part..
no longer touchable...
*sigh*
train of thought just derailed..
:(
just went and talked..
and gone now
*sigh*
my dear muse..
where art thou?
and no im not suggesting any particular person..
just a something to say to get me typing again.
and yay it worked :D
...
..
.
or not..
-.-"
*sigh*
or maybe this should be long enough...
for those who've read this far..
congrats:D
wd with the endurance of reading..
or just skimming..
kk
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*
Monday, February 20, 2006
Need to Vent - - -
OK..
long time no postie..
and i really need to talk
well its not like i dont have anyone to talk to
but then again..
im wasting too much time online anyways
mainly on msn..
Oh i LOVE the new access system for the school :D
i mean you can now access ure school drives !!!
i mean HOW COOL?
haha no need to use the comps at school
to get stuff from the S drive and H drive
what's happend last few weeks?
time's drifted by
mainly coz it disappears on msn
but :S
since we've gotten back
we havent done anything together yet
but totally understandable with the whole "study"
but :S
but but buts
its all i ever say -.-"
Ball's coming up
and the places which are manifested with yr 12s
are alive with ball buzz..
ALL ball talk EVERYWHERE
i mean its exciting and all
and even i talk bout it
but when i get home..
everything just dies down
nothing...
jus sudden HUSH...
but then again
go online
and talk to scar bout ball talk if she's on
or just talk to taiwan ppl
:D
a GREAT thanx to all who sent me a bday msg
MUCH appreicated :D
===============================================
at least four days later...
yes.. that was day after my bday...
and i felt liek the post was bit incomplete
but i cant remember what i wnated to write anymores
*sigh*
first few assessments for the yr have started..
and once again...
really fallen back into old habits...
not good
><
so im gonna see if i can do a whole time managment thing..
yes ive done so many..
and they never work
and obviously i started one at the start of this term
and well...
it lasted 2 days...
><
so ive got bout half an hour before im gonna go offline
and actually start this thing called "study"
my yr recap and new yrs resolution is still coming
more of on the list of procrastination..
but thats besides the point
ill do it when my pile of hw has diminished
hehe yay im using an extended vocab to my usual talk
or ramble.. whatever it is..
right now im on a total blank of what to say
tho my title is "need to vent"
due to the fact i did need to vent
but my dear bloggies been on a bit of a silence trip
since i havent actually published anything ive ritten
the ball thing is slowly creeping up..
well more of its at the door step
and i just have to make it to the door
and open the door
i just hope its gonna be fun..
after all that non-stressful stress..
if you know what i mean?
what's crappy?
im going white...
my sister keeps going thru my hair when she's bored
and pulls out white hairs..
they're all like half white half black
what's up with me?
either stress..
malnutrition
OR usual.. thinking TOO much
you know how we had those guest speakers..
like on mon..
and some other talks we had to listen into?
i think for something's its just SO true..
but then again that sorta is their job..
or they could just be great entertainers
and feed us a load-a crap..
whatever..
i just went thru the school email today
UMAT is july 26th?
and there's also that GAP thingy..
i think i wanna do it..
but then again..
im not sure..
ah well talk to parents bout it..
but i think they'll be all
"take UMAT and go to uni next yr"
ah well
would be good experience
and the GAP thing is still open to ppl aged 25
but ill still be studying med then if i get into med ><
*sigh*
i guess its just the whole future thing..
its jus so daunting
as well as the fact that all ive always experienced
so far in my life is day in day out of school
everything is school related
i cant see me working day in day out
and not having hw
and not seeing everyone..
on that note
my sister saw some of my primary school friends
at her youth group last fri..
so yea..
interesting..
mite get a lil catch up soon
tho this fri is sorta nite b4 ball
so not sure bout going this fri
maybe sometime later..
*sigh*
i still REALLY miss the ppl i met from taiwan..
for those reading and were in Taiwan..
I MISS YOU ALL!!!
its just not the same
not seeing everyone everyday
as much as there are the fotos..
the surroundings and ppl round are not the same
so even if i do see some other ppl
its not the same..
well..
there goes a whole 26 mins..
*sigh*
no wonder i get no hw done...
time keeps flying away
k im officially going to do my hw..
maybe post some time later
have a good arvo
*hugz*
-Del-
long time no postie..
and i really need to talk
well its not like i dont have anyone to talk to
but then again..
im wasting too much time online anyways
mainly on msn..
Oh i LOVE the new access system for the school :D
i mean you can now access ure school drives !!!
i mean HOW COOL?
haha no need to use the comps at school
to get stuff from the S drive and H drive
what's happend last few weeks?
time's drifted by
mainly coz it disappears on msn
but :S
since we've gotten back
we havent done anything together yet
but totally understandable with the whole "study"
but :S
but but buts
its all i ever say -.-"
Ball's coming up
and the places which are manifested with yr 12s
are alive with ball buzz..
ALL ball talk EVERYWHERE
i mean its exciting and all
and even i talk bout it
but when i get home..
everything just dies down
nothing...
jus sudden HUSH...
but then again
go online
and talk to scar bout ball talk if she's on
or just talk to taiwan ppl
:D
a GREAT thanx to all who sent me a bday msg
MUCH appreicated :D
===============================================
at least four days later...
yes.. that was day after my bday...
and i felt liek the post was bit incomplete
but i cant remember what i wnated to write anymores
*sigh*
first few assessments for the yr have started..
and once again...
really fallen back into old habits...
not good
><
so im gonna see if i can do a whole time managment thing..
yes ive done so many..
and they never work
and obviously i started one at the start of this term
and well...
it lasted 2 days...
><
so ive got bout half an hour before im gonna go offline
and actually start this thing called "study"
my yr recap and new yrs resolution is still coming
more of on the list of procrastination..
but thats besides the point
ill do it when my pile of hw has diminished
hehe yay im using an extended vocab to my usual talk
or ramble.. whatever it is..
right now im on a total blank of what to say
tho my title is "need to vent"
due to the fact i did need to vent
but my dear bloggies been on a bit of a silence trip
since i havent actually published anything ive ritten
the ball thing is slowly creeping up..
well more of its at the door step
and i just have to make it to the door
and open the door
i just hope its gonna be fun..
after all that non-stressful stress..
if you know what i mean?
what's crappy?
im going white...
my sister keeps going thru my hair when she's bored
and pulls out white hairs..
they're all like half white half black
what's up with me?
either stress..
malnutrition
OR usual.. thinking TOO much
you know how we had those guest speakers..
like on mon..
and some other talks we had to listen into?
i think for something's its just SO true..
but then again that sorta is their job..
or they could just be great entertainers
and feed us a load-a crap..
whatever..
i just went thru the school email today
UMAT is july 26th?
and there's also that GAP thingy..
i think i wanna do it..
but then again..
im not sure..
ah well talk to parents bout it..
but i think they'll be all
"take UMAT and go to uni next yr"
ah well
would be good experience
and the GAP thing is still open to ppl aged 25
but ill still be studying med then if i get into med ><
*sigh*
i guess its just the whole future thing..
its jus so daunting
as well as the fact that all ive always experienced
so far in my life is day in day out of school
everything is school related
i cant see me working day in day out
and not having hw
and not seeing everyone..
on that note
my sister saw some of my primary school friends
at her youth group last fri..
so yea..
interesting..
mite get a lil catch up soon
tho this fri is sorta nite b4 ball
so not sure bout going this fri
maybe sometime later..
*sigh*
i still REALLY miss the ppl i met from taiwan..
for those reading and were in Taiwan..
I MISS YOU ALL!!!
its just not the same
not seeing everyone everyday
as much as there are the fotos..
the surroundings and ppl round are not the same
so even if i do see some other ppl
its not the same..
well..
there goes a whole 26 mins..
*sigh*
no wonder i get no hw done...
time keeps flying away
k im officially going to do my hw..
maybe post some time later
have a good arvo
*hugz*
-Del-
Saturday, February 04, 2006
First Week of School... YR 12 !!!
Ok 4 days since school started
not much really that much to comment on
the week just passed by
on the first day it just was a bit weird
with the whole 12 uniform
I LOVE IT!!!
whilst my sister on the first day of yr 8
was like
Lina:they should make the whole school wear that
Del:but it's the yr 12 uniform
Lina:well then make the school wear that one
and the summer dress the yr 12 uniform
-.-"
i so wouldnt have it the other way!
anyways
the reason why it was weird with the 12 uniforms?
not that i was wearing it
but every time i walked into a classroom
seeing all these 12s,
i automatically thought i was still in 11
and was thinking "shit wrong classroom"
walked out
then walked back in a while later
thinking "oops.. i AM a 12"
-.-"
but sorta got used to it now
alotho still a lil abnormal
and so the week past
and it was good to see everyone again
but it seems like theres nearly not enough time to talk
to everyone
or its just me who wants to talk too much
or still used to having ppl to talk to 24/7 thats not my sister
ah well...
um yes to the main point of actually writing this post
was really just to say that i have a bday suggestion :P
for celebration of Dia and my bday..
well actually between me and my mum
and since its just a suggestion PLZ tell me any ideas
or maybe tell me if you wanna change time
coz the real reason for this is just that
i want to just have everyone together
and just spend some time together
it is our last yr and yes we do have heaps of work to do
so tell me if anything clashes with school work
bleh.. whatever..
ok... going weekend wise this is really our times available
Feb 11-12 - Boarder's Closed Weekend
Feb 18-19 - My Cousin's b'day thing and also Chorale Camp and Dia's B'day
Feb 25-26 - Ball and day after ball
Since that's really what's happening for the upcoming w/e
mum and i were thinking
have a sleep over after the ball
and then on the sunday after the ball go watch a movie and eat together
maybe like at sizzler's innaloo and watch memoirs of a geisha?
or any other movie suggestions?
anyways that would prob be the sunday
and getting ure stuff to my house
my mum offered to collect all the bags of clothing
and what other stuff you need
to sleep over after school fri so it'll all be there
at my house when we get there after the ball
and you'd have stuff to change in to etc.
any thoughts?
would like em soon..
esp if you wanna change the date of all this
and suggestions and stuff
well i g2g now
*hugz*
not much really that much to comment on
the week just passed by
on the first day it just was a bit weird
with the whole 12 uniform
I LOVE IT!!!
whilst my sister on the first day of yr 8
was like
Lina:they should make the whole school wear that
Del:but it's the yr 12 uniform
Lina:well then make the school wear that one
and the summer dress the yr 12 uniform
-.-"
i so wouldnt have it the other way!
anyways
the reason why it was weird with the 12 uniforms?
not that i was wearing it
but every time i walked into a classroom
seeing all these 12s,
i automatically thought i was still in 11
and was thinking "shit wrong classroom"
walked out
then walked back in a while later
thinking "oops.. i AM a 12"
-.-"
but sorta got used to it now
alotho still a lil abnormal
and so the week past
and it was good to see everyone again
but it seems like theres nearly not enough time to talk
to everyone
or its just me who wants to talk too much
or still used to having ppl to talk to 24/7 thats not my sister
ah well...
um yes to the main point of actually writing this post
was really just to say that i have a bday suggestion :P
for celebration of Dia and my bday..
well actually between me and my mum
and since its just a suggestion PLZ tell me any ideas
or maybe tell me if you wanna change time
coz the real reason for this is just that
i want to just have everyone together
and just spend some time together
it is our last yr and yes we do have heaps of work to do
so tell me if anything clashes with school work
bleh.. whatever..
ok... going weekend wise this is really our times available
Feb 11-12 - Boarder's Closed Weekend
Feb 18-19 - My Cousin's b'day thing and also Chorale Camp and Dia's B'day
Feb 25-26 - Ball and day after ball
Since that's really what's happening for the upcoming w/e
mum and i were thinking
have a sleep over after the ball
and then on the sunday after the ball go watch a movie and eat together
maybe like at sizzler's innaloo and watch memoirs of a geisha?
or any other movie suggestions?
anyways that would prob be the sunday
and getting ure stuff to my house
my mum offered to collect all the bags of clothing
and what other stuff you need
to sleep over after school fri so it'll all be there
at my house when we get there after the ball
and you'd have stuff to change in to etc.
any thoughts?
would like em soon..
esp if you wanna change the date of all this
and suggestions and stuff
well i g2g now
*hugz*
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Back...
Yes i am back in Perth..
a whole 2 days ago
and well i was gonna post the day i was back
but i ended up not finishing and deleting the post as usual
yes i will postpone that yr recap/new yrs resolution/ taiwan tour recap
for later
coz im sorta bz atm with the whole organising new yr stuff
since mum isnt at home neither is lina
and my dad's busy working
and since ive been back my room is all a mess all over again
and really im only postin coz of that tagging game
which i have no idea how im gonna answer with.
============================================================
The rules/procedures are as follows:
The first player of this game starts with the topic
"five weird habits of yourself,"
and people who get tagged need to write an entry
about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly.
In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged
and link to their web journals.
Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or
journal that says "You are tagged"
(assuming they take comments)
and tell them to read yours.
============================================================
1. I have weired-ed mini monologues with myself when im alone
2. I have this mini obssession.. its kinda weird..
can sorta be classeds as obsessive compulsive or whatever
but like when i use cream like body lotion or whatever
if it comes in a tub.. or like those body shop lipglosses
that you get in those mini tub things
when i use it i try to make this like dip thing in the middle
like i try to make a funnel like shape and i HATE it wehn like
you get this random dip coz some one just stuck their finger in it
3. Not really a choice of mine but at times my sister and i are
dressed in clothing either similar in some way... or EXACTLY the SAME
4. Tend to be oblivious about the majority of the stuff
that occurs anywhere int eh vicinity of my life?
5. I tend to randomly want hugs or just hug people coz i feel like it..
(well couldnt be entirely random
or weird-ed but i cbb thinkin up something else)
================================================================
Five People:
*Kura
*K
*Bear Bear (Albert/Kevin)
*Dia
*Inge
(Lol. nearly everyone on that list has K in their name
well except dia.. soz.. but ure lil bro is Kevin :P)
well there DONE at LAST
next post..
i promise i'll write :P
a whole 2 days ago
and well i was gonna post the day i was back
but i ended up not finishing and deleting the post as usual
yes i will postpone that yr recap/new yrs resolution/ taiwan tour recap
for later
coz im sorta bz atm with the whole organising new yr stuff
since mum isnt at home neither is lina
and my dad's busy working
and since ive been back my room is all a mess all over again
and really im only postin coz of that tagging game
which i have no idea how im gonna answer with.
============================================================
The rules/procedures are as follows:
The first player of this game starts with the topic
"five weird habits of yourself,"
and people who get tagged need to write an entry
about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly.
In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged
and link to their web journals.
Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or
journal that says "You are tagged"
(assuming they take comments)
and tell them to read yours.
============================================================
1. I have weired-ed mini monologues with myself when im alone
2. I have this mini obssession.. its kinda weird..
can sorta be classeds as obsessive compulsive or whatever
but like when i use cream like body lotion or whatever
if it comes in a tub.. or like those body shop lipglosses
that you get in those mini tub things
when i use it i try to make this like dip thing in the middle
like i try to make a funnel like shape and i HATE it wehn like
you get this random dip coz some one just stuck their finger in it
3. Not really a choice of mine but at times my sister and i are
dressed in clothing either similar in some way... or EXACTLY the SAME
4. Tend to be oblivious about the majority of the stuff
that occurs anywhere int eh vicinity of my life?
5. I tend to randomly want hugs or just hug people coz i feel like it..
(well couldnt be entirely random
or weird-ed but i cbb thinkin up something else)
================================================================
Five People:
*Kura
*K
*Bear Bear (Albert/Kevin)
*Dia
*Inge
(Lol. nearly everyone on that list has K in their name
well except dia.. soz.. but ure lil bro is Kevin :P)
well there DONE at LAST
next post..
i promise i'll write :P
RA!
Guys, guess what? (No, its not Christmas again you idiot) ADELLA'S BACK! Now we can i can crash all the parties she goes to!! SCORE!! Yay,
btw HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY BABES!!!
I'm going to go to sleep now, bye ppls!
btw HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY BABES!!!
I'm going to go to sleep now, bye ppls!
Sunday, January 22, 2006
hail to delpoleness continued///
yo wassup y'all. ><
I'll start talking normally here. Anyhow I miss Adella like crazy man! (God knows what I'll do to her when I see her, lol =P)
And I await for the 24th......
(btw this was written by scarlet again if you didnt notice)
I'll start talking normally here. Anyhow I miss Adella like crazy man! (God knows what I'll do to her when I see her, lol =P)
And I await for the 24th......
(btw this was written by scarlet again if you didnt notice)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Last week
Well..
last time on the comps in the uni in taiwan
well unless i can be bothered to walk to the office tomorrow to use the comp
but highly unlikely
i cant believe the tour is over..
well not officially
since we have graduation tomoz
as well as the whole 3 day tour...
tho ronald wont be going since apparently
he's on like NEGATIVE points
lol
tho its sorta not surprising
at least he can go spend time with his relatives
do whatever he likes
god im so gonna miss everyone on this tour
:'(
waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
well obviously there's the ppl who are from perth
but i see em every w/e practically
except for sam
unless ppl change school or decide not to go anymore
god...
the time given for comp class is like nothing
since like i never seem to be able to finish the posts
before i have to go..
lol it wont be amazing to most ppl
if they see me online everynight wehn i get back :P
i've made friends on this trip
and i know that we've got em on the contact list and all
but i highly doubt we'll keep that much in touch
since as usual ive done the thing
where i stay in a close circle of ppl
so turns out i dont really know that many ppl that well
>.<
*sigh*
Well overall despite the whole schooling
im so gonna miss everyone and all the fun we had
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
not fair
im having a mini graduation thingy
at the start of my last yr in highschool
NOOOOOOOOOO
OMG
its most likely our last yr together
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NO WAY
Scar...
HOW COULD YOU ? :P
you were meant to be flooding all you liked...
but oh well
oh btw.. have fun on ure WA science thingy
since i cant go :(
since ive got my 3 day graduation trip for the tour
ah well..
maybe we'll have time after that science thing
to go out..
did we go out before i left?
i dont think so..
hmm... should i get my hair done? :P
nah my parents will kill me
and if it looks bad ill be stuck with it for the ball ><
i still cant get over the fact im in yr 12
aggghhhh
welll g2g
mite write up a full detailed recap
as well as new yrs and last yrs recap when i get back
nite nite
*hugz*
last time on the comps in the uni in taiwan
well unless i can be bothered to walk to the office tomorrow to use the comp
but highly unlikely
i cant believe the tour is over..
well not officially
since we have graduation tomoz
as well as the whole 3 day tour...
tho ronald wont be going since apparently
he's on like NEGATIVE points
lol
tho its sorta not surprising
at least he can go spend time with his relatives
do whatever he likes
god im so gonna miss everyone on this tour
:'(
waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
well obviously there's the ppl who are from perth
but i see em every w/e practically
except for sam
unless ppl change school or decide not to go anymore
god...
the time given for comp class is like nothing
since like i never seem to be able to finish the posts
before i have to go..
lol it wont be amazing to most ppl
if they see me online everynight wehn i get back :P
i've made friends on this trip
and i know that we've got em on the contact list and all
but i highly doubt we'll keep that much in touch
since as usual ive done the thing
where i stay in a close circle of ppl
so turns out i dont really know that many ppl that well
>.<
*sigh*
Well overall despite the whole schooling
im so gonna miss everyone and all the fun we had
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
not fair
im having a mini graduation thingy
at the start of my last yr in highschool
NOOOOOOOOOO
OMG
its most likely our last yr together
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NO WAY
Scar...
HOW COULD YOU ? :P
you were meant to be flooding all you liked...
but oh well
oh btw.. have fun on ure WA science thingy
since i cant go :(
since ive got my 3 day graduation trip for the tour
ah well..
maybe we'll have time after that science thing
to go out..
did we go out before i left?
i dont think so..
hmm... should i get my hair done? :P
nah my parents will kill me
and if it looks bad ill be stuck with it for the ball ><
i still cant get over the fact im in yr 12
aggghhhh
welll g2g
mite write up a full detailed recap
as well as new yrs and last yrs recap when i get back
nite nite
*hugz*
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Hail to delpole'ness
Dear Adella,
It pains me very dearly at heart to realise that I have been neglecting my duty of flooding your respectable weblog! Please forgive me, my dearest! Although I shan't flood your weblog, I shall continue to cherish your dear presence when you return from wagga-wagga.
Yours sincerely,
Secretary/Treasurer of the Delpole'ness club
SCARLET NG
It pains me very dearly at heart to realise that I have been neglecting my duty of flooding your respectable weblog! Please forgive me, my dearest! Although I shan't flood your weblog, I shall continue to cherish your dear presence when you return from wagga-wagga.
Yours sincerely,
Secretary/Treasurer of the Delpole'ness club
SCARLET NG
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
week 5
times flown by
test tomorrow >.<
but at least the teacher gave me an easier text
in comparison to doing the test on the whole course
since im in the lower part of A class
im sick >.<
it was an upper respiratory tract infection ><
well according to to the doctor
at this clinic outside the uni
since apparently the doctors in the uni suck
coz apparently all they give you is sleeping pills
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*
test tomorrow >.<
but at least the teacher gave me an easier text
in comparison to doing the test on the whole course
since im in the lower part of A class
im sick >.<
it was an upper respiratory tract infection ><
well according to to the doctor
at this clinic outside the uni
since apparently the doctors in the uni suck
coz apparently all they give you is sleeping pills
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*
Saturday, December 31, 2005
week 3 and new yr.. another start
well answering qs first
off the tagboard
since i cbb to tag so many times
gar...
scenery in taiwan
havent really seen that much of it
since i spend most of the time in the uni
and also there is the whole i cbb
to look out the window
in the bus when we go out
since they play movies in the bus
so im just watching them or talking
scar
dun miss speaking canto or eng
since i spend most of my time out of class
speaking canto and eng
since heaps of ppl speak..
yep it was those things which you write your wishes on
so pretty
coz we spent time putting them together
and all..
happy belated xmas everyone
and happy new yr..
i had actually typed up a post before
on tues during computer class
but the post was lost since some1 turned off my comp
so im in the office now typin up
there is never anyone online >.<
well on tues nights that is
and mona.. ure off watching tv :(
so how's everyone?
for xmas..
had an xmas party down here
nothing much..
majority of the ppl were from our tour
and the rest were some random uni students
we had this whole thing where they had ppl teach us to dance
and we got partners by just drawing outta a bag of balloons
the dude i got was some uni student
who was half taiwanese half american
who later on that nite confessed his love for his gf
it was so cute..
like he had this dog with balloons tied on its back
neways
g2g now
since goin to taipei 101 for new yr's eve
nite
*hugz*
off the tagboard
since i cbb to tag so many times
gar...
scenery in taiwan
havent really seen that much of it
since i spend most of the time in the uni
and also there is the whole i cbb
to look out the window
in the bus when we go out
since they play movies in the bus
so im just watching them or talking
scar
dun miss speaking canto or eng
since i spend most of my time out of class
speaking canto and eng
since heaps of ppl speak..
yep it was those things which you write your wishes on
so pretty
coz we spent time putting them together
and all..
happy belated xmas everyone
and happy new yr..
i had actually typed up a post before
on tues during computer class
but the post was lost since some1 turned off my comp
so im in the office now typin up
there is never anyone online >.<
well on tues nights that is
and mona.. ure off watching tv :(
so how's everyone?
for xmas..
had an xmas party down here
nothing much..
majority of the ppl were from our tour
and the rest were some random uni students
we had this whole thing where they had ppl teach us to dance
and we got partners by just drawing outta a bag of balloons
the dude i got was some uni student
who was half taiwanese half american
who later on that nite confessed his love for his gf
it was so cute..
like he had this dog with balloons tied on its back
neways
g2g now
since goin to taipei 101 for new yr's eve
nite
*hugz*
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
lost count of days.. but week 2..
hey..
computer class again
and really nothin much happening cept class
went to some small town on sun
and the rest of the other time i can barely remember
ive been to the small night market nearby...
umm
got bout 4 and half weeks to go..
just cant believe its only been 1 week..
since like ive said its like ive been here for ages
seriously nothing to talk bout..
oh for those who want my number atm
its 0917388954
well thats what it is over here
not sure of its what it really is calling from home..
um..
talkin bout sunday
it was sorta like an excursion
went to a village where we learnt bout its train history
visited a mine/museum thing
looked at some of the scenery
and also launched sky lantern things
like they were mini hot air balloons
but like you write ure wishes on them
and they get sent up...
sorta like wishing on a shooting star
um...
sorta tired these days
well more of the lethargic..
how's everyone doing?
gar.. have fun in nz..
dia in brisbane ? :S
and mona and scar in perth..
ive spent 1 and half hours here
NOTHING to do
you'd think with the reduction
in usage of computers i'd be desparate bout using it
ah well
maybe just not really anyone to talk to
ugh...
so annoying
nothing to talk bout
blah blah
wlkaefwaoe;iawh4tfo;aw4ehweairhgWEA4g
ever bored of my blog?
YESS..
just so repetitive..
hmmm
ne wais
bye
nite nite
*hugz*
computer class again
and really nothin much happening cept class
went to some small town on sun
and the rest of the other time i can barely remember
ive been to the small night market nearby...
umm
got bout 4 and half weeks to go..
just cant believe its only been 1 week..
since like ive said its like ive been here for ages
seriously nothing to talk bout..
oh for those who want my number atm
its 0917388954
well thats what it is over here
not sure of its what it really is calling from home..
um..
talkin bout sunday
it was sorta like an excursion
went to a village where we learnt bout its train history
visited a mine/museum thing
looked at some of the scenery
and also launched sky lantern things
like they were mini hot air balloons
but like you write ure wishes on them
and they get sent up...
sorta like wishing on a shooting star
um...
sorta tired these days
well more of the lethargic..
how's everyone doing?
gar.. have fun in nz..
dia in brisbane ? :S
and mona and scar in perth..
ive spent 1 and half hours here
NOTHING to do
you'd think with the reduction
in usage of computers i'd be desparate bout using it
ah well
maybe just not really anyone to talk to
ugh...
so annoying
nothing to talk bout
blah blah
wlkaefwaoe;iawh4tfo;aw4ehweairhgWEA4g
ever bored of my blog?
YESS..
just so repetitive..
hmmm
ne wais
bye
nite nite
*hugz*
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Day 3
another day past..
learnt how to play mahjong :P
so far havent really learnt much in the ways useful
ah well..
had the opening ceremony
and also had the intros..
well the official ones
so actually had to stand up and speak
*shrudders*
dun wanna go thru that again
i still really hate public speaking
but then again who doesnt?
Seems like ive been here for ages
but then again
its only the 3rd day
and i dunno
just the whole routine thing
i dunno
maybe i just like routine
everything just takes so long
and like bleh
i dunno i feel like saying something
but it always feels like theres some1
behind me watching..
liek it jus feels so unnatural
i got into the top class btw
Class A :P
go me..
there is like no one online
and i have another hour here
unless i ask for permission to go back to the dorms
but theres nothing to do back there
i wanna play sports
but the gym etc is all taken up by the uni students
some ppl are out playin bball atm
but like id rather not join
me and my room mates were in this class earliest
and since everyone arrived
its just gotten so busy and loud
its just weird
im prob just used to having the whole area to myself
dun really have much to talk bout
the temp round here is ok
cold but not freezing as ppl said it would be
i wonder how my bro is doing in class?
ah well maybe i worry too much
theres such a range in ages of ppl here
i dunno
like theres the youngest as i think is 14
even goes 21+
well i think thats it..
yesterday we had aerobics and yoga
but it was sorta weird since it was in chinese
ah well
same pain tho..
so no difference there
havent really heard from anyone
other than mona who's online every night
ne ways
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*
learnt how to play mahjong :P
so far havent really learnt much in the ways useful
ah well..
had the opening ceremony
and also had the intros..
well the official ones
so actually had to stand up and speak
*shrudders*
dun wanna go thru that again
i still really hate public speaking
but then again who doesnt?
Seems like ive been here for ages
but then again
its only the 3rd day
and i dunno
just the whole routine thing
i dunno
maybe i just like routine
everything just takes so long
and like bleh
i dunno i feel like saying something
but it always feels like theres some1
behind me watching..
liek it jus feels so unnatural
i got into the top class btw
Class A :P
go me..
there is like no one online
and i have another hour here
unless i ask for permission to go back to the dorms
but theres nothing to do back there
i wanna play sports
but the gym etc is all taken up by the uni students
some ppl are out playin bball atm
but like id rather not join
me and my room mates were in this class earliest
and since everyone arrived
its just gotten so busy and loud
its just weird
im prob just used to having the whole area to myself
dun really have much to talk bout
the temp round here is ok
cold but not freezing as ppl said it would be
i wonder how my bro is doing in class?
ah well maybe i worry too much
theres such a range in ages of ppl here
i dunno
like theres the youngest as i think is 14
even goes 21+
well i think thats it..
yesterday we had aerobics and yoga
but it was sorta weird since it was in chinese
ah well
same pain tho..
so no difference there
havent really heard from anyone
other than mona who's online every night
ne ways
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Hi from taiwan - Day 2
well im in taiwan now obviously
just a quick note to say hi
if you wanna talk..
i'm online every tue night
or at least i should be..
the flight was ok..
nothing really special
but my expectations were
sorta to be like the school boarding house
it's sorta round bout similar
but sorta like below my expectation
i dunno its like..
well main thing is
they dont have irons..
and i dunno
im sorta used to having and iron to use
so it'll just end up being sorta like
either drying the clothes by hang drying
to avoid creases
or spin dry and wear them creased
i dunno
maybe ive just made a
huge deal outta this no iron thing
majority of things is alright
i just had my placement test
and well there will only be 2 classes
which sorta makes it obvious which one ill be in
since ppl either cant speak/understand/read/write/chinese
OR...
they can
umm...
some ppl are just too loud
and the rest are pretty nice
of the food i dun really know since ive only had dinner
i sorta g2g now
nite nite
*hugz*
just a quick note to say hi
if you wanna talk..
i'm online every tue night
or at least i should be..
the flight was ok..
nothing really special
but my expectations were
sorta to be like the school boarding house
it's sorta round bout similar
but sorta like below my expectation
i dunno its like..
well main thing is
they dont have irons..
and i dunno
im sorta used to having and iron to use
so it'll just end up being sorta like
either drying the clothes by hang drying
to avoid creases
or spin dry and wear them creased
i dunno
maybe ive just made a
huge deal outta this no iron thing
majority of things is alright
i just had my placement test
and well there will only be 2 classes
which sorta makes it obvious which one ill be in
since ppl either cant speak/understand/read/write/chinese
OR...
they can
umm...
some ppl are just too loud
and the rest are pretty nice
of the food i dun really know since ive only had dinner
i sorta g2g now
nite nite
*hugz*
Monday, December 12, 2005
G'day
G'day folks, I do believe you all recognise who I am. I am the legendary Scarlet wahahahahah. As you all know, Adella is flying to wagga-wagga (aka Taiwan) at precisely 1am; 13 December 05 , and she shall be away from us for a dreary six weeks.
Wahahahahahaha I am the king of delpole's blog!!
Wahahahahahaha I am the king of delpole's blog!!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
fare thee well :D
well goin tomorrow nite..
wishin everyone a happy hols if i dun blog again
and well
maybe scar mite blog..
since she asked to..
and well i sent her an invite..
so might hear from her..
btw scar..
if you do..
plz dont change any of the previous posts..
since i dun get how this add members thing works :S
*hugz*
wishin everyone a happy hols if i dun blog again
and well
maybe scar mite blog..
since she asked to..
and well i sent her an invite..
so might hear from her..
btw scar..
if you do..
plz dont change any of the previous posts..
since i dun get how this add members thing works :S
*hugz*
Thursday, December 08, 2005
4 days left...
well 4 days till taiwan
and im not ready
theres so much to do
and such little time
but i really cant be stuffed
i feel all lethargic and stuff..
hmm..
funny eh?
my dad these days is like
"dw as long as you get in UWA"
like trying to lower the pressure and all
but tehn again
he jus gave me this thing a few days ago.
its like a CD for the comp..
and its..
"interactive medical encyclopedia"
hmm..
doesnt matter what course eh?
on the up.
it'll help me for h bio next yr
my sister's graduated yr 7
yr 8 next yr..
scary huh?
i seriously cant imagine seeing her so much
well actually i noe how its like
i mean being in same primary and all
but i think i forgot what its like
and now?
have to adapt all over again
well not that i dun see her at lunch once in a while
but bleh
last few days ive really been on the whole
"emotional rollercoaster"
i mean seriously
ive had HUGE moodswings
esp yesterday
i think i managed to go from happy to crying
and being pissed off
in like 2 mins
and it happened so much
i seriously have NEVER had such huge
difference in emotions
a mean i may be pissed off all day
or jus be happy
but not like huge changes
that happen so frequently
ah well
anyways
thats the update for now
byes..
if i have time
ill try update as much as possible
in taiwan
*hugz*
and im not ready
theres so much to do
and such little time
but i really cant be stuffed
i feel all lethargic and stuff..
hmm..
funny eh?
my dad these days is like
"dw as long as you get in UWA"
like trying to lower the pressure and all
but tehn again
he jus gave me this thing a few days ago.
its like a CD for the comp..
and its..
"interactive medical encyclopedia"
hmm..
doesnt matter what course eh?
on the up.
it'll help me for h bio next yr
my sister's graduated yr 7
yr 8 next yr..
scary huh?
i seriously cant imagine seeing her so much
well actually i noe how its like
i mean being in same primary and all
but i think i forgot what its like
and now?
have to adapt all over again
well not that i dun see her at lunch once in a while
but bleh
last few days ive really been on the whole
"emotional rollercoaster"
i mean seriously
ive had HUGE moodswings
esp yesterday
i think i managed to go from happy to crying
and being pissed off
in like 2 mins
and it happened so much
i seriously have NEVER had such huge
difference in emotions
a mean i may be pissed off all day
or jus be happy
but not like huge changes
that happen so frequently
ah well
anyways
thats the update for now
byes..
if i have time
ill try update as much as possible
in taiwan
*hugz*
Thursday, December 01, 2005
counsel..
hmm whenever there isnt much to talk bout
and i feel like blogging
its always so hard to start
but there i go
ive started
now i can start going off on my random tangents of nothing-ness
went to ah-gong's house today
for phoebe's full month
well she's now officially 1 month old
doesnt feel like a month ago when i found out
i had another baby cousin
but then again
trying to actualli remember the morning i found out
seems like 2 yrs ago or something
:S
nm much happend
coz we sorta came late as usual...
things were as usual..
all the kids in the living room
whilst the adults were practically shouting at each other
in the kitchen/dining room
and well there was the whole
"you should study *insert uni course* it'll be a good job"
OR
"you should become a *insert some high paying job*"
-.-"
im still worrying bout my subject choices
not bout my future career..
well ok my subject choices should be
directed at some part of my career
but not at a family gathering >.<
====================================================
EXAMS has fini
YAY
but now im still stuck with 2 days off..
which im glad of..
and i wanna go out
but i noe its not likely tomorrow
bleh there goes one day
you know..
its realy stressing sometimes
you feel like discussing things
but then again finding the right person
for talkin bout each topic i feel like talkin bout
its jus so annoying
you wanna talk bout something
but then again you want em to understand
some1 who has the similar thing
like if they dont understand
you mite as well be talking to a bloody brick wall
or how bout..
even a bloody pet?
its weird
when your life is divided into all these little worlds
of your own..
little worlds which you are a part of
but then again not every1 you know is in
life would be easy if all of them were a lil connected
but anything stuffs up
and all of htem collapse
but in disconnection
anything happesn to one
you can seek resort in another
hiding may not be the answer
but in the time it takes to heal
somteimes its worth the avoidance
===========================================
not in mood for talking..
tho all i can say..
is i duno i just feel so empty
and hollow
nite nite
*hugz*
and i feel like blogging
its always so hard to start
but there i go
ive started
now i can start going off on my random tangents of nothing-ness
went to ah-gong's house today
for phoebe's full month
well she's now officially 1 month old
doesnt feel like a month ago when i found out
i had another baby cousin
but then again
trying to actualli remember the morning i found out
seems like 2 yrs ago or something
:S
nm much happend
coz we sorta came late as usual...
things were as usual..
all the kids in the living room
whilst the adults were practically shouting at each other
in the kitchen/dining room
and well there was the whole
"you should study *insert uni course* it'll be a good job"
OR
"you should become a *insert some high paying job*"
-.-"
im still worrying bout my subject choices
not bout my future career..
well ok my subject choices should be
directed at some part of my career
but not at a family gathering >.<
====================================================
EXAMS has fini
YAY
but now im still stuck with 2 days off..
which im glad of..
and i wanna go out
but i noe its not likely tomorrow
bleh there goes one day
you know..
its realy stressing sometimes
you feel like discussing things
but then again finding the right person
for talkin bout each topic i feel like talkin bout
its jus so annoying
you wanna talk bout something
but then again you want em to understand
some1 who has the similar thing
like if they dont understand
you mite as well be talking to a bloody brick wall
or how bout..
even a bloody pet?
its weird
when your life is divided into all these little worlds
of your own..
little worlds which you are a part of
but then again not every1 you know is in
life would be easy if all of them were a lil connected
but anything stuffs up
and all of htem collapse
but in disconnection
anything happesn to one
you can seek resort in another
hiding may not be the answer
but in the time it takes to heal
somteimes its worth the avoidance
===========================================
not in mood for talking..
tho all i can say..
is i duno i just feel so empty
and hollow
nite nite
*hugz*
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Wishes...
Well..
as of a few posts ago..
cant remember how long..
but if not
ppl or should of heard me
talkin bout wanting an older brother..
and well in relation to my msn nick atm
[Wishes can come true :P]
well i sorta did get an older brother today :P
its my grandpa's sister's grandson..
so sorta my cous but not exactly
and he's older than me.. by like 1 yr :D
so im happy now :D
it'll sorta be the closest
i can get to havin an older bro i think
and he seems pretty nice
but he dont speak eng
or canto >.<
so the catch is sorta the language barrier
i have to actually use my mando
and he speaks teo chew fluently
and i only understand a few words
of which i can only say
like some swear thing :S
hmm
i love my cousins so much
i guess i am in quite a close knit family thing
but its HUGE
ah well im lucky then :D
VERY lucky that is
you know i was contemplating the other day
like you know how some ppl say
happiness is sorta inversely proportional
to the amount of wealth you have
and i think
its like
ok first thing would be for the hard working ppl
theres the whole no time
coz ure busy trying to get money
and then also
with the next generation
wouldnt that mean
that if spoilt by parents
with all materialistic things they need
its like they always have this wealth to fall back on
therefore they dont really have to worry bout
whether or not they're gonna fail in life
coz it seems like therez always something there
the back up which makes us secure
and would mean that we would put less effort in
in comparison to those who strive to rise out of what they are
to reach something
the goal to attain something that is like hard to attain
means you have to work hard and put heaps of effort in
and if attained it seems more valuable
than if soemthing you gain is simple
like its given
you think it less worthy once you have it
like having a trophy would mean more if
you had worked so hard and competed and actually won it
in comparison to jus buying it from some shop
to be tailor made for you
or like just rigging it so you will win
like through cheating or soemthing
the trophy wouldnt be as valuble in ure own eyes
since it is something that has no memory of hardship behind it
so like
if you have more wealth..
then as a child of parents whom worked hard for the money
and then if the child is love by the parents heaps
and spoilt as much as possible
then if they want something esp materialistic
then they get it..
what would the child learn from that?
they wouldnt do any thing
dont work hard at all
and still get what they want
and then in the end get nowhere
hmm why does this sorta slightly say bout my family?
:P
anyways
like soon the child is gonna be bored
and not interested with material things
there really isnt that much in them
since they prob have something the same
(unless they're totally gullible towards the media and marketing stuff)
and wont need it
what they still turn to
or want would still be simplistic
love, caring, friendship..
just simple things which everyone can enjoy
no matter what context
(yay i used the word "context")
or maybe not.
since there's still some stuff in some countries
that might not be as ideal as everything i see
in the whole slight eurocentric views
:S
which would that be one of the slight downfalls
in each of the dynasties in china?
ok totally offtopic
but like they always fell after some generations
i guess you could say that its just one of the possible factors
like the princes would always have easy
apparently
jus making TOTAL assumptions here
(since im prob out when it comes to asian history)
and then when the duty of actually ruling came
they became so selfcentred and pleasure seeking
since nothing materialistic could seem to satisfy them?
like they would have seen silk all their life
and gold and other what not
so in finding things that would amuse them
they would start to neglect the state
and sooner or later they brought the state down
by the simple neglect and ruling coz ppl
just up-rose and took over..
or won battles and stuff..
:s
you know
i think i would possibly like debating
if i didnt hate public speaking so much
and not the whole possibility of arguing
bout something that is against ure personal belief
like i actually expressed something today
and it felt good
maybe i just love the feeling of feeling smart :P
not that i am is the thing
but who doesnt enjoy feeling superior in comparison to the inferior
but then again with superiority
always comes with some form of responsibility
or expectations of something
UGH
ah well
life aint perfect
but sometimes things do happen
few weeks till taiwan
it just seems so unrealistic
and hopefully ill update as much as possible
tho i doubt it
since i recently realised
we're living in a uni IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
well not exactly nowhere
but its like rural
>.< which lowers the chances of having net cafe
(apparently)
hmm what else to talk bout?
actually
gonna sleep
have family foto day tomoz.. (my dad's side)
its also pheobe's full month thing :P
that is she's 1 month old now
so nite
*hugz*
as of a few posts ago..
cant remember how long..
but if not
ppl or should of heard me
talkin bout wanting an older brother..
and well in relation to my msn nick atm
[Wishes can come true :P]
well i sorta did get an older brother today :P
its my grandpa's sister's grandson..
so sorta my cous but not exactly
and he's older than me.. by like 1 yr :D
so im happy now :D
it'll sorta be the closest
i can get to havin an older bro i think
and he seems pretty nice
but he dont speak eng
or canto >.<
so the catch is sorta the language barrier
i have to actually use my mando
and he speaks teo chew fluently
and i only understand a few words
of which i can only say
like some swear thing :S
hmm
i love my cousins so much
i guess i am in quite a close knit family thing
but its HUGE
ah well im lucky then :D
VERY lucky that is
you know i was contemplating the other day
like you know how some ppl say
happiness is sorta inversely proportional
to the amount of wealth you have
and i think
its like
ok first thing would be for the hard working ppl
theres the whole no time
coz ure busy trying to get money
and then also
with the next generation
wouldnt that mean
that if spoilt by parents
with all materialistic things they need
its like they always have this wealth to fall back on
therefore they dont really have to worry bout
whether or not they're gonna fail in life
coz it seems like therez always something there
the back up which makes us secure
and would mean that we would put less effort in
in comparison to those who strive to rise out of what they are
to reach something
the goal to attain something that is like hard to attain
means you have to work hard and put heaps of effort in
and if attained it seems more valuable
than if soemthing you gain is simple
like its given
you think it less worthy once you have it
like having a trophy would mean more if
you had worked so hard and competed and actually won it
in comparison to jus buying it from some shop
to be tailor made for you
or like just rigging it so you will win
like through cheating or soemthing
the trophy wouldnt be as valuble in ure own eyes
since it is something that has no memory of hardship behind it
so like
if you have more wealth..
then as a child of parents whom worked hard for the money
and then if the child is love by the parents heaps
and spoilt as much as possible
then if they want something esp materialistic
then they get it..
what would the child learn from that?
they wouldnt do any thing
dont work hard at all
and still get what they want
and then in the end get nowhere
hmm why does this sorta slightly say bout my family?
:P
anyways
like soon the child is gonna be bored
and not interested with material things
there really isnt that much in them
since they prob have something the same
(unless they're totally gullible towards the media and marketing stuff)
and wont need it
what they still turn to
or want would still be simplistic
love, caring, friendship..
just simple things which everyone can enjoy
no matter what context
(yay i used the word "context")
or maybe not.
since there's still some stuff in some countries
that might not be as ideal as everything i see
in the whole slight eurocentric views
:S
which would that be one of the slight downfalls
in each of the dynasties in china?
ok totally offtopic
but like they always fell after some generations
i guess you could say that its just one of the possible factors
like the princes would always have easy
apparently
jus making TOTAL assumptions here
(since im prob out when it comes to asian history)
and then when the duty of actually ruling came
they became so selfcentred and pleasure seeking
since nothing materialistic could seem to satisfy them?
like they would have seen silk all their life
and gold and other what not
so in finding things that would amuse them
they would start to neglect the state
and sooner or later they brought the state down
by the simple neglect and ruling coz ppl
just up-rose and took over..
or won battles and stuff..
:s
you know
i think i would possibly like debating
if i didnt hate public speaking so much
and not the whole possibility of arguing
bout something that is against ure personal belief
like i actually expressed something today
and it felt good
maybe i just love the feeling of feeling smart :P
not that i am is the thing
but who doesnt enjoy feeling superior in comparison to the inferior
but then again with superiority
always comes with some form of responsibility
or expectations of something
UGH
ah well
life aint perfect
but sometimes things do happen
few weeks till taiwan
it just seems so unrealistic
and hopefully ill update as much as possible
tho i doubt it
since i recently realised
we're living in a uni IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
well not exactly nowhere
but its like rural
>.< which lowers the chances of having net cafe
(apparently)
hmm what else to talk bout?
actually
gonna sleep
have family foto day tomoz.. (my dad's side)
its also pheobe's full month thing :P
that is she's 1 month old now
so nite
*hugz*
Friday, November 25, 2005
Love <3
You know..
ive just realised something else?
i rarely love much..
well ok i LOVE music
and i do LOVE someother things..
or at least i hope i do..
but love is something i dont really express much
like i love my sister and i love my parents
but its seriously something i dont vocalise
fine.
so you dont have to vocalise everything
but then again think of all the tragedies happening today
or at least all the tragedies fed to us by the media
think bout the bombings and stuff
if some1 you loved died..
would you feel bad for not letting them know you loved them
for one last time when you last saw them?
or jus worried the fact that the ppl you love
have suddenly left your lives??
and i noticed
well that is recently
i dont use the word "love" much..
or do i?
(meh something to talk bout in these exam times)
like im fine with saying love
in mando..
i say to my parents
i love them everynite in mando before i go to bed
but i just..
i dont say love in canto.. :S
and i dont say love in english either
like well the fact that the main person
who i can say i love you to in english is my sister
could be a main factor
but it feels weird to say i love somebody
in canto or english
fine i can type out "love"
but then again its something that i dont generally
think about or even discuss..
hmm maybe a few times but hey..
still not a word i use daily
(well if i do..
i dunno maybe i say it unconsciously..
as in without realising it..
not as in i say it whilst im unconsious)
ah well
that was a random ranmble..
for no particluar reason
but i feel like talkin these days
:D
maybe its the fact that the only ppl i talk to
are to ppl i see just like 30 mins before exams each day
followed by 3 hours of silence
then going home
in which the process
im struck quiet since my mum's listening
to her viet news radio in the car
(AND at home)
and drops me off
im home alone
and the only possible source of talk
would be via msn
which btw ppl dont forget my fone fear..
i HATE fones
anyways
besides the point
THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO
my sister comes home
and she closes the door to her room
and tells me to get out wen im in there
plus the fact that both my parents and my sister
now have a reason to be asking me why im talking to them
(why aren't you studying at the current moment?
you should be studying not wasting ure time talking to us)
hmm
another example
yesterday:
went out to the bank with mum
met up with dad who was gonna go to ct with mum and maybe me
then dad changes his mind
Dad:NO you should be home studying for exams
Me:but i wanna spend time with you
Dad:we have plenty of time to spend together
you have no time before exams
me: -.-"
ok fine. its jus the ct
and it IS exam time when i should be studying
BUT I WANNA GO OUT
im sick of facing the walls of my room
for christ's sake i have a max attention span
of an hour of fully or half heart-ed-ly studying
before i go read soemthing else
there is no one to talk to
and everytime i turn to talk to someone
either they cant (exam, work, school)
or they tell me to study
UGHHHHHH
*frustrated*
maybe chinese tomorrow will give me some time to talk
WAIT..
its not like i talk to them that much anyways !
-.-"
GRRR
the only ppl i get to talk to
is when i go to the resto
and majority of them speak viet!!!
>.<
i understand but hello
i dun wanna talk viet when i cant talk to anyone else
and most of the time it takes me 10 mins to think up a sentence
*annoyed*
anyways got caught by dad online jus then
so betta go
nite
*hugz*
ive just realised something else?
i rarely love much..
well ok i LOVE music
and i do LOVE someother things..
or at least i hope i do..
but love is something i dont really express much
like i love my sister and i love my parents
but its seriously something i dont vocalise
fine.
so you dont have to vocalise everything
but then again think of all the tragedies happening today
or at least all the tragedies fed to us by the media
think bout the bombings and stuff
if some1 you loved died..
would you feel bad for not letting them know you loved them
for one last time when you last saw them?
or jus worried the fact that the ppl you love
have suddenly left your lives??
and i noticed
well that is recently
i dont use the word "love" much..
or do i?
(meh something to talk bout in these exam times)
like im fine with saying love
in mando..
i say to my parents
i love them everynite in mando before i go to bed
but i just..
i dont say love in canto.. :S
and i dont say love in english either
like well the fact that the main person
who i can say i love you to in english is my sister
could be a main factor
but it feels weird to say i love somebody
in canto or english
fine i can type out "love"
but then again its something that i dont generally
think about or even discuss..
hmm maybe a few times but hey..
still not a word i use daily
(well if i do..
i dunno maybe i say it unconsciously..
as in without realising it..
not as in i say it whilst im unconsious)
ah well
that was a random ranmble..
for no particluar reason
but i feel like talkin these days
:D
maybe its the fact that the only ppl i talk to
are to ppl i see just like 30 mins before exams each day
followed by 3 hours of silence
then going home
in which the process
im struck quiet since my mum's listening
to her viet news radio in the car
(AND at home)
and drops me off
im home alone
and the only possible source of talk
would be via msn
which btw ppl dont forget my fone fear..
i HATE fones
anyways
besides the point
THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO
my sister comes home
and she closes the door to her room
and tells me to get out wen im in there
plus the fact that both my parents and my sister
now have a reason to be asking me why im talking to them
(why aren't you studying at the current moment?
you should be studying not wasting ure time talking to us)
hmm
another example
yesterday:
went out to the bank with mum
met up with dad who was gonna go to ct with mum and maybe me
then dad changes his mind
Dad:NO you should be home studying for exams
Me:but i wanna spend time with you
Dad:we have plenty of time to spend together
you have no time before exams
me: -.-"
ok fine. its jus the ct
and it IS exam time when i should be studying
BUT I WANNA GO OUT
im sick of facing the walls of my room
for christ's sake i have a max attention span
of an hour of fully or half heart-ed-ly studying
before i go read soemthing else
there is no one to talk to
and everytime i turn to talk to someone
either they cant (exam, work, school)
or they tell me to study
UGHHHHHH
*frustrated*
maybe chinese tomorrow will give me some time to talk
WAIT..
its not like i talk to them that much anyways !
-.-"
GRRR
the only ppl i get to talk to
is when i go to the resto
and majority of them speak viet!!!
>.<
i understand but hello
i dun wanna talk viet when i cant talk to anyone else
and most of the time it takes me 10 mins to think up a sentence
*annoyed*
anyways got caught by dad online jus then
so betta go
nite
*hugz*
Monday, November 14, 2005
Post #259
why is it that i love pracs..
but i SUCK at physics pracs?
this doesnt make sense...
or the fact that there are no instructions..
ah well
i think i did pretty well with the h bio
and the lit oral was delayed
since not enough class time today
but that means i have to do it tomorrow
which is still bad coz that sense of forboding
is SO annoying
====================================================
miss my bloggie...
ok exams in 3 days approx :S
done minimal study
which is BAD
and not recommended but i cant concentrate
>.<
i mean at sometimes i even start checkin up wats on the NEWS
thats how bored i am
ah well back to my study..
but i SUCK at physics pracs?
this doesnt make sense...
or the fact that there are no instructions..
ah well
i think i did pretty well with the h bio
and the lit oral was delayed
since not enough class time today
but that means i have to do it tomorrow
which is still bad coz that sense of forboding
is SO annoying
====================================================
miss my bloggie...
ok exams in 3 days approx :S
done minimal study
which is BAD
and not recommended but i cant concentrate
>.<
i mean at sometimes i even start checkin up wats on the NEWS
thats how bored i am
ah well back to my study..