End of Week 9... 1 Week and 2 and half days LEFT!!!

well according to the title..
its left till the holidays...
which really means more study..
if i can get myself to do it..

i really feel like saying something..
and really i did indeed have something
that i was gonna write for this post..
but i guess i sorta forgot it..
as per usual..

you know..
think ill jus go for a typical day/week post..
and see how things turn out..

had the chem test..
the geog..
and lit oral..
(the presentation actually happend this week on mon)
and the lit long essay..

all the tests sorta turned out ok..

the lit long essay..
i started last nite..
and was due today..
i slept at 12 last nite..
and woke up at 5 am this morning..
to get it done..
FINALLY finished and handed in..
i felt so ELATED!!

like there was this great sense of acheivement..
over a simple LONG essay..
i cant believe how much i missed the feeling..
of being at least slighly carefree...

but then..
as day went on..
back to the drop again..
like it feels like theres no reason for anything.
i dont feel sad..
but i dun feel happy either..

yeah i got in the 80's for my chem test..
i was happy bout that for like 2 mins..
then that disappeared as well..
the av for our class was in the 60's..

yeah..
and a whole list of test coming up next week..
><
ah whole set of consecutive test days...
ah well
at least they're not all on mon ^^

why is it..
that i find that i can talk easily to some..
and sometimes there just seems to be such a gap between others...

and seriously..
even in lunch today..
i was sitting there..
all that happend was a whole series of diff small convos..
and i joined in like a bit..
but i jus felt so detached...
why do i feel this way?
ok i guess i do have to admit..
i dont find it as easy talking bout things to some ppl..
and for some ppl..
i cant even have a decent convo without an argument *cough*
but im not like that all the time..

and like..
why cant i talk..
i dont sorta say i dont trust them..
but i just dont talk to em..
like its just this gap..
i sorta cant really relate to em..
even if i did talk to some of them when
they first started sitting with us

why...??

*sigh*
isnt it amazing the ability to exclude??
but what can you say?
there will always be ppl..
who you find..
that theres like this gut feeling
that you cant talk openly to
or like you jsut cant connect with em as well

and i dont want this..
but i cant help it..
i can..
ive tried..
sometimes.. if im with one single person..
its seems possible to bridge the gap..
but with too many..
it seems like too many to deal with...

ah well..
im lacking sleep and well..
its gettin late and i have chinese tomoz
nite nite
*hugz*