Pathways to Eternity...

Title?
hmm i dunno something on my mind..
but i dunno how to really express it.
tho in away i sorta feel like its sorta summed up by title

and well as with msn..
i sometimes bother to get a dp that suits..
and well was googling pics..
n came up with this pic..
and just the i dunno this feeling of serene calmness..
i couldnt help it..
had to put it up on the blog too :P



how i found it?
i doubt you care.. but its my blog..
so im tellin anyways..
searched up "pathways" and up came a pic..
guess what its called?
"Pathway to Paradise"
isnt it pretty? *sigh*

ok looks like with all this stress
i guess i really just needed some calm..

n well.. intertextuality?
i remembered Robert Frost's Poem we did last yr

- The Road Not Taken -

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Hmm..
mocks.. TEE... stress.. need tranquility..
roads to be taken..
can anyone guess what's on my mind?
*rhetorical no need for answers :)*

could just be the whole choices thing..
i dunno
tho thats sorta not what im feeling..
but this whole roads n pathways theme is really appealing to me...
well it is at the current moment..
wonder what's next next time i post?

well so far its Four down.. n three to go..
yep 4/7 tho in a way..
it really should be 3/6
meh at least over half way
yipeeeeeeeeeeee

tho really
i was shown once again WHY i need a physics tutor..
of which thank god im taking tutoring in the up coming hols

you know sometimes..
despite the fact that sometimes its hard to smile..
thinking again..
sometimes its just starting the fake smile..
that gets you going..
n soon for the next few moments its just actual happiness..
forgotten thoughts slip away..
as you just get lost in the moment..
started by something that's been pasted on..

i wonder really...
well actually thinking bout it..
some of the ppl ive met..
its started off like that..
a pasted on face.. an apparent personality that i let show..
whether or not its entirely intentional i dunno
but i guess in the end.. if we do end up as friends..
who ever i am then is the person i'll be around them
yet always have execeptions -.-

anyways mite go n finish my previous post first
coz i think im digging into that material
nite nite
*hugs*

Just Faces in the Crowd...

just went n deleted bout 2 potential posts
i had started a while back..
both really being only bout 15 lines long..
i guess in the end having something to talk bout
but in the end procrastinated..

===========================================
hmm
and yet above was another one that was left incomplete
well mock period sorta in a way has started..
what with study vac being today n yesterday..
i went to school today and i got my lit essay mark back..
and yet again.. fail... *sigh*
tho i couldnt have done much for that one
since i was unseen and we brought clean sheets of the poems in

atm for lit..
im teetering on an average of pass..
which is good that im passing
but i should be trying for a better pass instead of a scrape pass

main probs i need to work on??
expression n sentence structure *sigh*
of which i can either blame on:
(note: endless ramble on my justifications for my poor marks
skip to next para if you wish not to waste your time..
well actually what i mostly write is a waste of ppl's time
when they read it anyways but point being..
skip if you cbb :D) (note 2: after rereading my reasoning..
im just thinking im aiming this as something which i can vent about.
instead of venting on other things.. so its just an open attack on
self-justification of my bad marks but in the end.. just needing
somethign to vent ON)
(note 3:ok last of all just noticed my
notes in themselves turned into practically nother whole para -.-)

a)i actually do have an inability to express myself clearly

b)i never learnt how to write sentences *cough*bullshit*cough*

c)the fact that im blogging as my main source of written expression
these days therefore the lack of structure in my posting
has seeped across into my essay writing skills

d)the fact that i blog i now do a similar thing in essay writing
and just write blindingly therefore incoherancy

e)the teachers!! :P (this one shouldnt be valid but anyways)
the fact that they dont acknowledge my own personal voice
in the writing of my essays..
(damnit the teacher was going on bout reading into the reasoning
behind the way the poem was ritten n what it conveyed
doesnt that apply to my essay to?
well no since it isnt their job to analyse my essay..
ah damnit.. contradiction!! no wonder i dont cant argue my point in essays!!)

f)the comments.. the teachers contradict themselves in their comments
IN THE SAME ESSAY!!
"incomplete sentence" "sentence too LONG"

g)"read the comments they'll help you improve" HELLO?
the word "expression" isnt very helpful
elaboration would help alot..

h)i dont like the teacher (yet another invalid.. but still)
hey wait.. if the teacher student relationship doesnt do as well
then they work against each other therefore marks = bad
hmm cant do much in the end tho..
cant exactly swap classes coz i hate the teacher

i)...


oke..
to the heading of this post?
in one day i had seen 2 ppl from my primary school..
and its just amazing that you can talk to someone everyday..
and yet time passes and you cant even recognise em enough..
even to approach em to say hi..
i guess in the end there's also the uncertainty..
well for me MAJOR uncertainty..
what with my recognition-challenged ability to recognise ppl -.-
*sigh* the only way it was fully confirmed for one
was that their DOG recognised me n i remembered the dog..
it was a suspicion it was confirmed by the presence of a dog tied outside..
how sad.. the dog was all happy to see me n all
*sigh*

and yet on the other hand..
the other person i saw..
i recognised em..
what can i say? ive seen em every once in a while..
but yeah i didnt even say high..
more of a nod n smile of recognition..

tho then again..
for those who do end up approaching me..
(hmm this usually occurs when its some past classmate's parents)
say "hi adela" im thinkin in my mind "um who are you?"
n they're like "i cant believe your this big now..
i remember when you were such n such tall/little"

or there's those parents friends..
who ramble off on a tangent..

and then there's those who love to say..
"oh i'd love for you to meet my son.."
or suggest
something along the lines of marriage..
*shrudder*
im not intending that any time soon..

and now bordering on the closing of yr 12.
well ok still have exams n all..
but do we really see each other that often on exams?
will it just turn out to be faces in the crowd?
*sigh* i hope not..
well let alone first having to see each other in the first place
the likelihood... hmmm...

ever wonder if the concept of "forever" just being an illusion
just coz you dont wanna face it?
actually just the pessimistic view..
would be that forever is an optimistic light cast on the idea
of keeping together..
i mean who wants to be reminded that life is short??

you know..
when it comes to times of study..
when its so intense...
i realised how easily procrastination takes hold..
n well suddenly there's so many more interesting thing around...
*sigh*

anyways
nite nite
*hugs*

Disappointment...

you know thinkin bout it..
its sad that i had to jump from the last post..
being more of
"yeah the world is a horrid place but look
aren't small things pretty n can light up your life"
to this life can be disappointing..
and really
adding up from last weeks episode of house..
being that over multitudes of disappointments.
in the end you just cease to care..
just as self protection you just dont bother anymore..
(hmm def not a direct quote..
i may have just tweaked it a bit ^^")
anyways..

on either side of disappointments..
its still crappy being in such a situation..
and referring to K's post..
well there wouldnt be the good memories without the bad..
and as albie's said "in a world of happiness how would you know you're happy?"

dishing out the disappointment..
you just dont wanna have to face that person again..
that the fact that you let someone down..
and the blame is on you..
for ppl like me facing it in the end is
something i choose to avoid as much as possible..

=================================================
continuing on from last nite..
of which today i realised i missed my harp lesson AGAIN..
great thing to add on as a point of disappointment *sigh*
damnit.. del + hungry = forgetful and not feel good
lovely word equation of mine rite? :P

anyways..
feeling much more on the happy side
in comparison to what i was feeling today..
dunno was on the side of i feel crappy n dont wanna talk to ppl..
n sorta stare evils..
or stand there n watch/listen to ppl's convos
so soz to those who suffered.. namely scar..
my apologies again

on disappointment..
i really cbb any more..
so a disappointing post? :P
bleh im lame i know...
nah..
i sorta more have lost the plot of this post..
coz its sorta been a drag on over like 3 or 4 days now
since i was thinking it a few days back
and well now ive moved on..
tho what my current thought is i dunno
tho ive acheived a bit today in the means of study n hw..
but i wish i sorta started n well consistently did it earlier
and well for those who've noticed..
i sorta havent been online any time before 9 or 10 pm.
which would be due to the fact i cant get home before then
coz i go out to the resto to get hw n study done..
other wise i jus sit n stare at the screen on my desktop..

the performance thingy i had...
turned out to be pretty pointless..
well not pointless..
but a crowd of bout 60 of which 30 were bout primary school kids
with the only sound heard from the singers being 2 kids
shouting a song out into a mic sorta is well..
how will i put it?
EMBARRESSING?!!?!?
tho in a way i sorta think bout it again
and well its better to have more ppl?
then to have a duet..
or triplet..
or quartet..
so im still thankful ^^"
tho now ive got the upcoming performance in bout a month
which is for the moon cake fest..
as nice as it is to be pushed towards these things..
well they dont really look that appealing after mocks
or after study of any kind..

and just thinking bout it its just funny..
that i love singing this much..
and that as a kid i always wanted to sing
yet the opportunities dont really look that appetising..
tho could jus be song choice (school)
and well being forced (c school)
dont really look that appealling

ah well
late
n i was gonna do an early morning again
nite nite
*hugs*

Rainbows 'N' Sun Showers

Dunno what was up with me today..
but i feel so much more elated than i do recently..
But its not like feeling elated is a bad thing..
just i dunno the world around me seems just so wonderous atm..
(hmm wonder what tragedy im getting over?
yah know..
the whole "i never new the world was so beautiful
until this crisis occured so i treasure the world oh so much more" thing?)

ANY ways..
was in the car this morning..
n looking outta the window..
through the dark haze of the looming storm like clouds..
there stood.. a glimmer of this rainbow..
not entirely in its full coloured glory..
but in a dim.. through and after a storm sorta rainbow...
(hmm what really is up with me?)
well i dunno bout thru the storm..
coz well aren't rainbows after?
anyways..
it was SO beautiful.. just the plane contrast
of this dark opaque haze..
and the transparency of this glowering rainbow..
*sigh* so pretty..

and well..
walking towards the lockers..
the haze was letting up..
well if not then there was no haze in the direction where i was going..
but anyways..
the sun was out..
n it wasnt the whole glare n burning sun..
but just mild on an autumns day type
nice n warm n soft..
and then it began to shower..
and i was like "awww.."
like it seemed so...
i dunno
but thinkin bout it..
its the water from the rain n the light from the sun..
which gives the plants its energy..
the life giver
the essence of life..
hmm maybe.. maybe not..
but still
water is like the lifeline of living beings..
and it just lightly danced its way down..
well it wasnt snowing..
(and hmm i seem to be romantisising all this -.-)
but that's seriously what it seemed like..
it had this sorta healing good feeling..
just to walk thru it all
n totally forget..
for those few moments..
just to drift through this warm light whilst just sprinkled
by this delicate shower

and well on the gross side it turned into rain.
and well rain n uniform = BAD..
my blazer STUNK.. ><

but anyways..
it just felt so good..
such a new start to the day.
n when i got home
just the fact that the week's over..
n that a weekend is on its way..
everything felt so good..
n i had a nice long singing session..
well in my backyard..
so yeah belle ended up having to listen to it all
since no one else was round..
but ah well

I guess with exams upcoming..
this overburdening cloud that's ever present..
it just for today lifted..
well that is before n after school..
school sorta = assessments..
and just for those moments..
to as if i was walking thru a dream...
so happy ^^

and well
later on and well now since i just got back..
went to see "Trojan Women" a play by Euripides
same playwright for my lit drama text...
so was recommended to watch it..
so was in nb round 7..
walked round for bout half an hour..
then walked down to the door of the stage
when it was time..
then we realised that we didnt have the tickets!!
><
we LOST em!!
there were 3 tickets in an envelope
*sigh*
frantically ran back n round looking for it..
of which in that time i tried running AROUND a couple
but in the end STACKED it..
in the middle of a pathway -.- *sigh*
in the end we were allowed in coz we asked em for their ticket sales records..
and our names were there..
so it worked out..
but sitting down on stage..
dia realised she had tucked em up her sleeve -.-
we went searching ALL that time...
to realise she had em on her the whole time
ah well at least we got to go n watch it..

lasting bout an hour..
it really was bout dispair n desparation of the women..
of their pain and agony for their loss..
of their loved ones
of a city
of their home destroyed (
and well as the name suggests the city was troy)

i guess in light of this..
i was happy for well before n afterschool today..
but what sparked it other than the weather..
i dunno
i think it was just the shear beauty..
or the disillusionment..
the illusion of a rainbow..
the romantisism of anything..
the fact that nearly anything can be romantisied
just present it right..
and well you could just sell it of as something else
disguised and hidden from the eyes..
but in the end..
isnt the plain bland confrontational truth
covered up a total lie..?
the truthfulness of anything can be sugar-laced?
sweetened..
and in that case..
is it totally toning down really what the thing deserves?
or is it that facing it gonna help anymore?
an attempt is an attempt..
just that..

hmm of which im thinking im digging into some issues..
of which i dont even know what or why..

but in the end..
im glad today happend..
that in the end..
there are the highlights..
the memories of which brightens our life
for without it there would be no happiness..
for pain n angony would be but normality.
and without the pain and agony happines would be but norm
and we would not know of either..

so till the ends of this..
i guess all i can say is that
at least life is interesting in its own ways :D

*hugs*
-Del

Pointless...

Ya know..
with exams on the rise..
i dunno guess im not thinking much..
well could be coz
im not at home alone all the time these days..
so i guess more human interaction means that
im not sitting in my chair infront of the comp
having random conversations with myself in my own mind..
ok that seems like im schitzo.. eh cant spell it..
but mental disorder..
but as it is they're never self-diagnosed..
so yay im still safe ^^

and well
not thinking much means that
i dont really have any point in my blog posts..
or just have any point in what i do wanna say..
and yet i wonder if i make any sense usually anyways..
that is what i say has a point in the first place..
i guess this post could be bout the possible pointless-ness of talking
but i dunno
seems a bit dodge.
ah well..

tho im wondering.
if life atm just seems like a total bore..
a deflation..
bubble world just went and got squished..
so its not bright n happy and full of gas..
maybe its just routine i guess..
everythings setting in and well
study sorta has to settled in...
well to some degree :P
and staying at the resto has pulled me away from the net.
which i guess in a way is good..
coz it just means that im not wasting time..
jus sitting there.. hoping for someone to talk to..
or for someone who isnt too busy to talk to me..
but on the neg.. :(
no instant replies when it comes to using email instead.
ah well.. maybe one day i'll move backward n start using the fone..

ah well
nother pointless one bout pointless-ness.
which gives it a point int he first place
but initially not meant to have a point at all..
yep my head is construed..
*hugs*
-Del

Mindless post... not really readworthy.. just felt like a rant..

well actually for me..
it was more of lake to surf..
yeah i did the 4km and well..
hmm i managed it in 40 mins..
but in a way i tired pretty much of it..
i guess in away if i really wanted a challenge
12km woulda been better
but i woulda be dead today..
wouldnt wanna get outta bed in the morning
and well
with school n all
dont think that it woulda been that good.
plus i would have had to woken up earlier for the start
and well there'd be huges crowds and i'd be in a bitta
ache n pain for next few days..
(hmm if you havent realised yet..
im self-justifying why i didnt do the 12km
and well atm have no idea if this post is gonna be
heading anywhere readworthy..)

yes..
that was my sunday.
of which following the 4km jog..
i had to walk from school back to the shop..
since dad kept saying "go to the shop" over the fone.
so i gues that woulda added nother at least 2 km on there..
yes i did bout 6 km yesterday
of which i realised today..
over the last 2 yrs.
ive managed to do bout more than
a yrs worth of exercise in one morning
that is im referring to last yrs 10 km jog
from scotch to somewhere near freo n back..
god i hurt for the next 3 days > <

and yes..
this yr it was approx 6 km of which
im pretty glad im not suffering at all.
well except for this morning's reluctance to get out of bed at all.

yah know..
i just also realised..
that i never ended up doing a recap for the ball
and neither have i done my 2005 recap..
well actually ive started it and its sitting round her somewhere unfinished
and saved as a draft..

my weekend so far?
since im sure everyone is OH SO EAGER to hear..
bleh actually i have nothing else to talk bout..
actually come to think of it i just thought of something..
but cbb now that this post so far has been so pointless..
i wasted away my friday..
had chinese on sat.. followed by LONG sleep
and then yesterday had teh run
followed by boating..
where yet AGAIN we went no where..
coz my dad ended up accidentally pulling out some pipe..
so in the end couldnt go anywhere since its sorta bit well un-piped
and dunno what's gonna be up with the boat..
so ended up discovering the joys of sleeping in a boat
thats in teh jetty..
but that's provided that you're accustomed to the actual
rocking of the boat and are not at risk of throwing up anytime soon..

and yeah..
today was just a waste of time..
and yet again..
proved to myself my great ability of procrastination
-.-
REALLY not a good thing..
and thus i gained myself another early morning..
so anyways...
nite nite..
*hugs*
-Del

Bittersweet Symphony (Two).... and Quizzes :P

No i doubt there's sequels to music...
but yeah just copied the title from the previous
since some of the stuff i felt like talkin bout
i felt sorta related..
since sorta wanted to talk bout similar things
from yesterday n today..

well anyways..
what i decided to do over yesterday n toda..
was clear out my wardrobe..
and really that involved pulling everything out
n putting it back in.. in some kinda order..
n i sorta realised..
even if my room is messy the main thing i sorta care bout
is the order of the stuff in my wardrobe..
strange..
i always turn that way first when i wanna clean the room
tho if i dont get it done
in the end my room ends up messier than i started -.-

anyways..
aside from that messiness
the main point is that
i came across those shirts..
you know the shirts such as leavers, courses you've done..
that i rarely end up wearing
but i got it in the first place
coz it was either issued
or i bought it coz everyone else would wear it too
and this is the list i came across

*tuart hill pre-primary (it's miniscule!)
*Yr 6 camp
*Millenium Kids Conference (hey i got to miss a week of school for that)
*Yr 7 Leavers Shirt
*Taiwan Shirt

and i saw my taiwan shirt..
and all the scribbles that were on it and was like
awww...
started reading the messages n i realised..
for those who had signed off their name in chinese..
i realised i couldnt read half of em..!!!
i struggled a bit with the message reading
when it was in chinese
but most ppl had written in english thank goodness..
tho in the end i had to do a few touch ups..
writing names next to the chinese names that i could recognise..
and well..
the non recognisable ones..
well they sorta just stayed the way they were..

in the end..
its just this weird thing..
that i decided round this time last yr to actually go.
and this time of the yr has come round once again..
with offers for any willing ppl to go study traditional chinese
between the ages of 14 - 27 to go back for 6 weeks
given the chance i may go again..
but not this yr..
i mite be going back this yr..
*sigh*
still dunno whats gonna happen at the end of this yr..

but i just cant believe that
no matter what you may do..
study hard or just slack all you like..
everything just passes..
and whatever happens happens...
living thru it all is life in itself..
existance just drifting if you have no idea of your own direction

and with uni applications due end of next month...
its seriously beginning to be a time of stress build-up

of which i just realised..
the more stressed i am the more i wanna go out..
oh great -.- esp when mocks are coming up
*sigh*
that's just great help

so..
bittersweet symphony..
where the hell does that fit in..?
i personally have no idea..
but isnt it so pretty?
like the fact that as a symphony
its a composition of so many things
just so many components
and bittersweet..
just the total difference in that..
the con-jumblence.. (yes.. as of now such a word exists :D)
of like the bitter n sweet..
yes i just realised im rambling...
i guess in a way i just wanna say..
that thinkin bout it its a really good thing to relate to life..
and being a musical thing it just reminds you..
that its through the arts
that expression of emotion can much easier-ly conveyed

and now..
for some fun with quizzes..
i havent done these in ages ^^
and i absolutely love [x]-ing and [ ]-ing
and it is right about now you see me boncing off the walls of my room
-.-
anyways..
quizzes...

[x] for yes and [ ] for no

[ ] Taken a picture naked?
[ ] Painted your room?
[ ] Made out with a member of the same sex?
[ ] Drove a car?
[x] Danced in front of your mirror?
[ ] Have a crush? (not currently)
[ ] Been dumped?
[ ] Stole money from friend?
[ ] Gotten in a car with people you just met?
[ ] Been in a fist fight?
[ ] Snuck out of your house?
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back?
[ ] Been arrested?
[ ] Made out with a stranger?
[x] Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?
[ ] Left your house with out telling your parents?
[ ] Had a crush on your neighbour? (thinking of where i live? atm EWWWW)
[ ] Ditched school to do something more fun?
[ ] Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
[ ] Seen someone die?
[x] Been on a plane?
[x] Kissed a picture? (yes im sad i know)
[x] Slept in until 3PM?
[x] Love someone or miss someone right now? (miss someone)
[x] Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? (love doing it..
cept doesnt seem to be that much free time available these days :( )
[x] Made a snow angel?
[x] Played dress up?
[x] Cheated while playing a game?
[x] Been lonely?
[x] Fallen asleep at work/school?
[...] Been to a club? (if-fy...)
[ ] Felt an earthquake?
[x] Touched a snake?
[x] Ran a red light? (well walked? i still cant drive *sigh*)
[ ] Been suspended from school?
[ ] Had detention?
[x] Been in a car accident?
[x] Hated the way you look?
[ ] Witnessed a crime?
[ ] Pole danced?
[x] Been lost?
[ ] Been to the opposite side of the country?
[x] Felt like dying?
[x] Cried yourself to sleep?
[x] Sang karaoke?
[x] Sucked your thumb? (im assuming i did.. cant remember anymore)
[x] Done something you told yourself you wouldnt?
[x] Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
[x] Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
[ ] Kissed in the rain?
[x] Sing in the shower?
[ ] Made love in a park?
[x] Had a dream that you married someone? (i swear it was a total nightmare)
[x] Glued your hand to something? (yeah my hand -.-)
[ ] Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
[ ] Ever gone to school partially naked?
[x] Been a cheerleader?
[ ] Sat on a roof top?
[x] Didnt take a shower for a week? (only on camps where there aint no showers)
[x] Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?
[ ] Played chicken? (What is chicken?)
[x] Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
[...] Been told youre hot by a complete stranger? (if-fy)
[ ] Broken a bone?
[x] Been easily amused?
[x] Laugh so hard you cry?
[ ] Mooned/flashed someone?
[x] Cheated on a test? (guilty ^^")
[x] Forgotten someone's name? (*sigh*.. TOO many times)
[ ] Slept naked?
[x] Gone skinny dipping in a pool?
[x] Performed on stage?
[ ] Blacked out from drinking?
[ ] Played a prank on someone? (hmm wouldnt remember)
[ ] Gone to a late night movie?
[ ] Made love to anything not human?
[x] Failed a class?
[ ] Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?
[ ] Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? ([x]sung for more than 10 hours? :P)
[ ] Cheated on a girl/boyfriend?
[ ] Did you celebrate the 4th of July?
[x] Thrown strange objects? (um what the? but thrown things at ppl? yes)
[x] Felt like killing someone?
[ ] Thought about running away?
[ ] Ran away?
[ ] Did drugs?
[ ] Had detention and not attend it? (never had detention anyways)
[ ] Dumped anyone?
[x] Made a parent cry?
[x] Cried over someone?
[ ] Owned more than 5 sharpies?
[ ] Dated someone more than once?
[x] Have a dog?
[x] Own an instrument?
[x] Been in a band? (there was this time at band camp...)
[ ] Drank 25 sodas in a day?
[x] Broken a cd?
[x] Shot a gun?
[ ] Dated a married person of the opposite sex?
[ ] Written a love letter?

Movies Survey

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 70 movies, you
have no life. Mark the ones you've seen.
[x] = seen
[ ] = have yet to see

[ ] Rocky Horror Picture Show
[x] Grease
[x] Pirates of the Caribbean
[ ] Boondock Saints
[ ] The Mexican
[ ] Fight Club
[ ] Starsky and Hutch
[ ] Neverending Story
[ ] Blazing Saddles
[ ] Airplane
[ ] The Princess Bride
[ ] Young Frankenstien
[ ] AnchorMan
[ ] Napoleon Dynamite
[ ] Labyrinth
[ ] Saw
[ ] Saw II
[ ] White Noise
[ ] White Oleander
[ ] Anger Management
[x] 50 First Dates
[ ] Scream
[ ] Scream 2
[ ] Scream 3
[x] Scary Movie
[x] Scary Movie 2
[x] Scary Movie 3
[ ] Scary Movie 4
[x] American Pie
[x] American Pie 2
[x] American Wedding
[x] American Pie:Band Camp
[x] Harry Potter
[x] Harry Potter 2
[x] Harry Potter 3
[x] Harry Potter 4
[ ] Resident Evil I
[ ] Resident Evil 2
[ ] The Wedding Singer
[ ] Little Black Book
[ ] The Village
[ ] Donnie Darko
[x] Lilo & Stitch.
[ ] Lilo & Stitch 2
[x] Finding Nemo
[x] Finding Neverland
[ ] Signs
[x] The Grinch
[ ] Texas Chainsaw Massacre
[x] White Chicks
[ ] Butterfly Effect
[x] 13 going on 30
[ ] I, Robot
[x] Dodgeball
[ ] Universal Soldier
[ ] A Series Of Unfortunate Events
[ ] Along Came Polly
[ ] Deep Impact
[ ] KingPin
[x] Never Been Kissed
[x] Meet The Parents
[x] Meet the Fockers
[ ] Eight Crazy Nights
[ ] Joe Dirt
[x] A Cinderella Story
[ ] The Terminal
[ ] The Lizzie McGuire Movie
[ ] Passport to Paris
[ ] Dumb & Dumber
[ ] Dumb & Dumberer
[ ] Final Destination
[ ] Final Destination 2
[ ] Hallowe'en
[ ] The Ring
[ ] The Ring 2
[ ] Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
[x] Practical Magic
[x] Chicago
[ ] Ghost Ship
[ ] From Hell
[ ] Hellboy
[ ] Secret Window
[x] I Am Sam
[ ] The Whole Nine Yards
[x] The Day After Tomorrow
[ ] Child's Play
[ ] Bride of Chucky
[x] Ten Things I Hate About You
[x] Just Married
[ ] Gothika
[ ] Nightmare on Elm Street
[ ] Sixteen Candles
[ ] Remember the Titans
[ ] Coach Carter
[ ] Bad Boys
[ ] Bad Boys 2
[ ] Joy Ride
[ ] Se7en
[ ]Ocean's 11
[ ] Ocean's 12
[ ] Identity
[ ] Lone Star
[x] Bedazzled
[ ] Predator I
[ ] Predator II
[ ] Independence Day
[ ] Cujo
[ ] A Bronx Tale
[ ] Darkness Falls
[ ] Christine
[x] ET
[ ] Children of the Corn
[ ] My Boss' daughter
[x] Maid in Manhattan
[ ] Frailty
[ ] Best Bet
[x] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[ ] She's All That
[ ] Calendar Girls
[ ] Sideways
[ ] Mars Attacks
[ ] Event Horizon
[x] Ever After
[ ] Forrest Gump
[ ] Big Trouble in Little China
[ ] X-men
[ ] X-men2
[x] Spider-Man
[ ] Spider-Man 2
[ ] Sky High
[ ] Jeepers Creepers
[ ] Jeepers Creepers 2
[ ] Catch Me If You Can
[ ] The Others
[x] Freaky Friday
[x] Reign of Fire
[x] Cruel Intentions
[ ] Cruel Intentions 2
[x] Hot Chick
[ ] Swimfan
[ ] Miracle
[ ] Old School
[x] The Notebook
[ ] K-Pax
[x] Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
[x] Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
[x] Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
[x] A Walk to Remember
[ ] Boogeyman
[x] Hitch
[ ] The Fifth Element
[ ] Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
[x] Star Wars II Attack of The Clones
[ ] Star Wars III Revenge of The Sith
[ ] Star Wars IV A New Hope
[ ] Star Wars V The Empire Strikes Back
[ ] Star Wars VI Return of The Jedi
[ ] Troop Beverly Hills
[ ] Swimming with Sharks
[ ] Air Force One
[x] For Richer or Poorer
[ ] Transpotting
[ ] People Under the Stairs
[ ] Blue Velvet
[x] Sound of Music
[x] Parent Trap
[ ] Parent Trap Re-make
[ ] The Birds Alfred Hitchcok or whatever is the best
[x] The Terminator
[x] T-2
[ ] T-3
[ ] Empire Records
[ ] SLC Punk
[ ] Meet Joe Black
[ ] Nightmare Before Christmas
[ ] The Silence of the Lambs
[ ] Sleepy Hollow
[ ] I Heart Huckabees
[ ] 24 Hour Party People
[ ] Blood In Blood Out
[x] Thirteen
[ ] Manic
[ ] American History X
[ ] Deep Blue Sea
[x] George of the Jungle
[ ] Canadian Bacon
[ ] Big Black Titties
[ ] How High

Total = 55 movies

nite nite
*hugs*
-Del

# 360... Bittersweet Symphony...

Lol just downloaded..
and well thats the song im listening to atm..
its so strange to be at home..
and it seems like it was forever ago..
that panda, albie n k had come over :(
well sorta nearly 2 months ago but still..

and yes today is bloggie's bday
happy THIRD bday bloggie
and this is its 360th post ^^

Poetry and Metaphors....

*Warning: Prior warning to readers this is a LONG post
and coming from me AFTER writing it..
it is pretty damn long..
and well to my standards..
(cant remember now since i havent blogged for a while
but approx)
V F Long :D
but enjoy*

ya know..
i was thinkin bout continuin my post from the other day..
but then it sorta hit a dead end..
and well
i kept thinking..
theres something special bout today..
and if not then its something coming soon
and i cant remember what..
then i think of my blog..
and i hits me..
round this time bout 2 or 3 yrs ago
i started the blog..
then i thought..
nah couldnt be musta been round september?
and its like august now..

just to be safe..
i went n checked and bonza!
(^^ instead of bosza)
it was soon..
infact..
it is tomorrow !!
so everybody sing now

happy birthday bloggie..
happy birthday bloggie..
happy birthday my dear bloggie..
happy birthday to you
hip hip hooray
hip hip hooray

ok now that we've established the fact that my blog
is getting on with its dear age..
and the fact that del is slowly losing it
since she has just sung happy birthday to her own blog..
and once even had a count up for the age of her bloggie

what to talk bout today?

lol on the note..
i decided to read a bitta the 2nd ever post on this blog..
and well..
lets just say that
IT WAS ARTS WEEK THEN TOO!!
wow!
isnt it amazing?

and for the readers who atm is thinking this is
a VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV pointless blog post to be reading.
i agree too..
so whether not you continue reading is your own choice..
i have no actual thought on what the point of this post was..
well other than the fact i realised it was bloggie's bday

guess its back to teh basics..
of when i first started..
have no idea what to say?
then write "i dunno what i feel like writing"
still dunno?
the write dunno why?
"im bored"
left to the epitomy of boredom
and still wanna update..
say what you've done today
"i had 3 consecutive assessements"
and whine all you like
"OMG.. (etc)"

in the growth of a person..
emotionally and mentally..
(physically can sorta be measured rite)
maturity.. thoughts.. personality changes
cant really be measured can it..
there seems to be no comparison
really..
unless you made a whole heap of home videos...
or had a diary journal..
or like me..
had my dear bloggie ^^
where you write thoughts n concerns..
then looking back you're like
"WOW i was such a ditz.."
or
"WOW i was so materialistic"
or
"WOW i didnt have a care in the world"
or
"WOW i was so simple minded"
or
"WOW i was such BORE"

hmm get the point?
i think you do..

but unless you see realise your own mistakes..
its harder to grow..
to improve as a person...
but to improve in anyway..
its also depends on the conscious acknoledgement of stuff..
or you just change..
and change..
either to conform
or differentiate..

hmm
just came across a nice poem..

The Camper by E. Pauline Johnson
Night 'neath the northern skies, lone, black, and grim:
Naught but the starlight lies 'twixt heaven, and him.

Of man no need has he, of God, no prayer;
He and his Deity are brothers there.

Above his bivouac the firs fling down
Through branches gaunt and black, their needles brown.

Afar some mountain streams, rockbound and fleet,
Sing themselves through his dreams in cadence sweet,

The pine trees whispering, the heron's cry,
The plover's wing, his lullaby.

And blinking overhead the white stars keep
Watch o'er his hemlock bed - his sinless sleep.

pretty isnt it?
i love the rhythm n rhryme..
tho i just realised how much i love poems
but i hate analysing them..
tho for poems i dont like i guess..
analysing them would be the only way for me
to begin to like em.

i think i mite just type up a poem from this poet
once in every while..
tho plz totally open for comments on the poem..

i love poetry...
tho i think i like more of the classic stuffs
tho i dont read that much..
so still dont have much to critise on..
tho i just love consistent flowing..
nature related.. flowery language..
ah well some i like some i REALLY dont like..

but speaking of poetry...
poetry of life?
the rhythm of the heart..
the rhyme of the world
the words of the happenings in days
the tone of ones personality
the persona just any person
the allusions of memories
the similies of comparisons
the metaphors of ...

ok i made a whole bunch of random crap..
but yes..

hmm Disambiguity..
isnt it a nice word..
as much as for those who may be pedantic
*cough* may not like its discrepencies?
(oh i SO know what im talking bout
plz feel free to correct me of any incorrect word usage
im more on a random spiel than thinkin bout what im riting
and let alone worrying bout word choice)

mm thinkin bout poetry is making me think of lit.
and lit reminds me of my essay
which then leads me over to the thought of the text.
The Lost Honour of Katharina Blum...
written by Heinrich Boll..
a text which had won him the Nobel prize for literature..

of the whole entire thing
the only thing i like is the water metaphor..
i LOVE the water metaphor..
and damnit.. it has very little significance
when it came to CHARACTER ANALYSIS
well there was some relevance but still
it was only slight..
actually i love it so much..
im gonna type it..
and then comment and then YOU can comment ^^

2
If this report - since there is such frequent mention of sources - shouold at times be felt to be "fluid," we beg the reader's forgiveness: it has been unavoidable. To speak of "sources" and "fluidity" is to preclude all possibility of composition, so perhaps we should instead introduce the concept of "bringing together" of "conduction," a concept that should be clear to anyone who as a child (or even as an adult) has ever played in, beside, or with puddles, draining them, linking them by channels, emptying, diverting, and rerouting them until the entire available puddlewater potential is brought together in a collective channel to be diverted onto a different level or perhaps even duly rerouted in orderly fashion into the gutter or drain provided by the local authorities. The sole objective here, therefore, is to effect a kind of drainage. Clearly a due process of order! So whenever this account appears to be in a fluid state in which differences in and adjustments to level play a part, we ask the reader's indulgence, since there will always be stopages, blockages, siltings, unsuccessful attempts at conduction, and sources "that can never come together," not to mention subterranean streams, and so on, and so on.

isnt it lovely?
the idea that truth is but fluid..
rite.. i just realised why i wanna talk bout it..
the fact that i sorta have said ZERO on the text since we started studying it..
and well..
when i wanna say something either someone else says it..
OR well..
teacher decides to close discussion
OR
the fact that i dont speak up in the first place..

the idea that truth.. being fluid..
it moves n interchanges..
put it in a container and it takes another form..
place words, parts of truths in a different context..
and you could shape and create something else..
channelling it in the land?
you have ancient channels and salt lakes..
empty and drained of all truth..
nothing but empty lies..
but the subterranean streams are but underlying hints
of gathering we have the corresponding versions of reality..
each person's interpretation of the truth
and the drains provided by local authorities?
but the covering up and elimination of truths..
whether it be evidence for scandals..
or private disclosed confidential information collected for gov. usage..
and what of us as humans?
we are 80% water...
we each in ourselves have our truths..
as we ourselves are vessels
we have our abilities in causing blockages..
creating other "truths" or
whether we spill the truth is but our choice
and the notion that through our senses
we ourselves take in more and more water as we age..
(am i over doing it? ah well i love this metaphor ^^)

ah well late now..
nite nite
*hugs*

Wang Le Ta... Obsessions

Mmm..
post is song inspired...
(Mei Mei - Guang Liang)
well that n the fact that i've been thinkin bout this recently..
and well.
the song sorta reminded me n stuffs..
so bleh..
oo and it fulfills my double post promise ^^

To have an OCD
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder..
according to wikipedia.com
(lol.. too lazy to google it nowadays..)
the individual must have either obsessions alone...
or both obsessions and compulsions...
quote wikipedia:

Obsessions are defined by:

Recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress.

The thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems.

The person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action.

The person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind.

Compulsions are defined by:

Repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.

The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive.

to be obsessed..
to have an obsession with anyone or anything..
looks like not gonna make double post.
ah wel cont next time

====================================
obsessions..
to be obsessed..
i dunno the idea of being so entranced by anyhting
seems so :S
tho think about it
as any youthful person..
obsessed is really a word which is thrown round
quite easily..

bleh..
looks like a dead end post..
dont feel liek talkin bout it anymore
cya

Life Is Short.. As Long As It May Seem

Yep long time no post..
it seems strange..
when i post regularly there's bound to be plenty to say
but the less i blog..
the harder it seems to think of somethign to say..
tho i guess could possibly be the fact that
when blog regularly its sorta an ingrown anticipation
constantly.. well not entirely constantly
tho quite alot.. thinkin bout what to write next
but without the consistency..
it just doesnt cross my mind bout what to write next anymore

it just seems so much harder to start writing again..
tho the issue that i keep thinkin bout these days...
really is trust..
to what degree would you believe people..
without the trust there.. would you still take their words
as like the gospel.. the words of god..
or whatever your interpretation of that may be..
as for gullability.. do you just trust so easily?
once bitten twice shy..
what of those betrayed...
time over and over again..
whether the offender may not perceive it as a betrayal..
the offended.. in their eyes..
is it likely they'll trust again anytime soon?

you can say its a way big bad world out there..
that there's no one to support you..
building up that guard..
not wantign to trust so easily..
would you ever let anyone reach for you..
let anyone in just as close ever again?

but for those who've always been lucky
and been able to trust
what's in it for them in their first betrayal..
something that may just be seen as such a large scale thing..
since all their life they've been lulled in a sense of security
that the world can be kind..
and yet the most recent one they've trusted has turned out
to be the not so nice

whether you choose to trust or not..
you still float along in your life..
and then..
for those who believe their world is living hell..
day after day may be just so long..
that they have to struggle through

to trust or not to..
its your choice but
with the a sense that if you can lower the wall around your heart..
and let your feelings thru..
express em.. and have someone listen
listen fully and sympathise..
just remember oen thing..
you are lucky to have at least one true friend

and looking on an optimistic view..
for those who've yet to find someone they can entirely trust..
turn around and look at the people around you..
and for good ness sakes your family.
usually one of the first sources of trust between people..
thats aussuming you've a lucky happy family
dont take what you have around you for granted..
thank them for the smallest things they've done..
say that you love them
remind them that you're thankful for their presence..
thank them for jsut being there..

if not..
just that i wish and hope for you
to find someone that you one day trust enough to confide all..
if not all then at least to have someone to talk small things thru..
small, medium, large.. someone out there will understand..
just dont lose hope..
and if you still dont entirely trust..
here's a hint..
dont just let it all out at once..
you'll regret it.
no matter how long you've known the person..

nite nite
*hugs*

PS.. i seriously wonder how my ending bit can entirely
in an optimistic view -.-
ah well murphy's law :P

My dear Ophelia....

Wassup all my cherubs?? Lol, anyhow this weekend has flown so quickly for me! Like always, homework hasn't even been touched...CRAP! I've got an english oral tomorrow, which I haven't really written more than one line for. I HATE UNSPEAK. Its a good read...for leisure, but studying it is like hell. And I mean it! Its so damn *censored word* complex, in that every sentence has a reference to it, and the list of footnotes is exactly 30 pages. I swear this Poole guy is crazy man. Its so dense and jam packed with ideas that five sentences into a chapter, you've already forgotten what the first sentence was about!

I have three tests this week only, so its alright. But Geography man! I'll have like no time to study for that (like always) because I'm going to be busy trying to work out UNSPEAK and my applic epw during the week. GAH. At least I don't have six tests this week, or eight tests like a friend from PLC did (may I ask you, do you know anyone who does art, music and calc as a combination? I swear that girl is CRAZY).

And you might be wondering why I'm posting in Adella's blog instead of my own again? Well too bad, I feel like invading Adella's blog. (Because, usually after I post, she posts, hahahaa...lets hope it'll happen again this time-- No pressure! =P) I have pictures of Adella which I could post (muahahah), but its on my other computer, and I'm extremely lazy to move my ass onto that computer, so maybe next time? =)

Anyhow I wish goodluck to anyone who has any tests this week! Yay. Ok I'm off now, ciao.

Procrastination...

Well..
Originally a procrastination post..
but really
OMG
i just received the news and im totally estatic!!
GO dia!!
well anyways..
she's goin over to sydney
to sail against the "hot-rods" quote dia..
*screams*
i'm SO proud of you!!
but really..
details later..
since i sorta dont have the full story..

my procrastination post?
*sigh*
dunno what happened to it now..
it just disappeared into thin air after i heard dia's news.

hmm reading back to tagboard..
guess ill go over my weekend..
gist?

Saturday:
*Chinese
*Temple Work
*Resto Function Help

Sunday:
*Temple
*Work
*Didnt get home till late
due to lack of staff

relating to tag?

"meanwhilst i have the urge to stab anyone
who has a bf/gf who thinks EVERYOTHER person
in the world has one too..>< "

well actually that wasnt a total correctly put statement..
what i meant??
since i was so tired by the time i typed it
i may have put it wrongly
should be:

"meanwhilst i have the urge to stab anyone
who has a bf/gf who thinks that it is incredelous that
there is an existance of people MY AGE that are single"

i mean seriously...
being MY PARENTS friends..
and well being younger than my parents..
but like late 20s/early 30s
its not long ago that you were probs dating..

but like OMG
maybe im taking it WAY too personally..
actually i think i may just am..
but i feel like a vent..
:P
so its vent-intentional
need something to vent bout..
and topic came up..

anyways..
OMG..
like just the disbelief in the face..
i just cant like why is it not normal..
am i SERIOUSLY defected
or ABnormal
if i dont HAVE a bf at this age..
what? am i meant to be going round sleeping round..
coz im all drugged up on some thing or the other..?
Damn stereotypes -.-

hmm and i guess..
its the fact that hello.. MY personal life..
you're coming for dinner..
not getting to know ME personally..
not likely to see you anytime soon
WHY the HECK?
so the excuse of trying to make conversation?
they asked me just before they were to leave..
that isnt soemthing you ask ppl..
before you say BYE

mm
and as well..
ive lost count of the ppl who WANT to know if i have one or not..?
ok interested in me?
makes sense..
im on a plane flight bout to get off a plane.
and ure a flight attendant?
big HUH?
or..
ppl like scar noted..
who randomly talk bout their other halves?
i dont wanna know how you CHEATED on em..
-.-
for christ's sakes..
i also dont wanna know how you lost "it"
way TOO much info
for general convo
seriously..
dont wanna know how many ppl you slept with..

what is up with ppl?

ok..
thats nough fo my ramble..
im so gonna regret typing this n wasting half hours sleep..
nite nite
*hugz*

Numerology...

Yess...
a filler post..

Your Inner or Soul's Urge - This is spiritual and emotional expression more than physical. It is your heart-felt desires, your incentive, how you look at life. Here are your areas of personal satisfaction.

Deep down, you desire the best life has to offer. This includes living your inner life in peace and silence. You have a keen sense of perfection and like to meditate and analyze, dissect, examine, and consider things from every angle. And you can definitely do without poverty, the transitory, and the noise and confusion of the business world.

You love huge libraries, old and well-maintained gardens, classic pictures, and time mellowed furniture. You are intellectual, scientific, philosophical, deeply intuitive, and a well of secrecy. You are sought after for your wisdom. Probably you are somewhat shy and deeply emotional, but with a horror of showing it.
For more complete personal understanding of life, work on expressing your emotions, trusting your feelings, less avoidance, and being sympathetic and understanding with people. You possess a tremendous inner wisdom.

Your Personality - This is physical expression more than spiritual or emotional; your outer self, the way you express when meeting others. It may or may not be the real you.

You appear dignified and poised, intellectual, and somewhat aloof. When first meeting someone, you appear hard to know, but are friendly and a good talker when better acquainted. You emit a strong sense of self-knowledge.

While discussing familiar topics, you are convincing and appear at ease. However, in unfamiliar areas you can make statements you later regret.

Your personality gains when well-dressed and groomed; good style with straight lines and touches of color and sparkle, possibly of expensive materials.

Your Quiescent Self - Stripping away all outside influences, aspirations, ambitions, "shoulds", and "shouldn'ts" -- this is you when you are alone; just you and your dreams..

You have a cosmic connection with spiritual wisdom. The Ancients are no stranger to you. In fact, you share their knowledge. You are known for who you are, and people seek you out to hear your words of wisdom. You live in an old, beautifully restored house; your library is full of precious and rare books and your study is adorned with classic art.

Your thoughts and pleasure are meditation on the philosophical and spiritual wisdom of the masters of old.

Your Destiny or Ultimate Goal - This is your desired lifetime accomplishment. It is a key to a useful and happy life, and to feeling fulfillment during your latter days.

Your destiny is to promote the idea of liberty for all; knowing that happiness cannot last without the right to be free. You know progress comes through change, by entertaining new ideas and trying new methods. Your destiny includes helping people live life more fully and with more joy. You are versatile and clever.

You are comfortable interacting with people of diverse races and backgrounds, a natural lecturer or teacher, an artist with written and spoken words, and capable of understanding many different viewpoints. You insist on having freedom of action and speech. Your life changes often, sometimes unpredictably, and you enjoy it because each change brings new opportunities to understand and absorb yet more aspects of life. You love travel and the open spaces, and you have the best opportunities to succeed in occupations that have those qualities and also bring you in contact with people, including sales, acting, speaking, teaching, commercial artist, legal fields, or as a writer or editor.

You are striking, attention getting, entertaining, and find it easier to move about than to make permanent associations with people or undertakings.

Your Life's Path - Here are clues to what fate has in store for you. It indicates the type of encounters, events, and opportunities you are likely to experience along your physical life path.

Your path is along commercial activity and organization, business affairs, positions of authority, and management of people. Your goals are reached most easily by cultivating a large outlook, refusing all limitation, and using your authority and power wisely.

You are a natural leader and a natural executive. Your ability to lead is limited only by your range of education and experience. You are able to deal well with the practical and material things of life, including judicious accumulation and use of money.

Your opportunities lie with fulfilling the needs of organization, efficiency, effective handling of personnel, and expressing your executive abilities. Large corporations and organizations appeal to you.

This Year's Path - Here is what you are likely to encounter this year -- your feelings, your predominant perspective, and the type of situations, circumstances, and opportunities you tend to attract during the calendar year.

This is your year for personal reflection and perfection, a year of introspection. You feel like analyzing everything you have been and are doing. You think about beauty, love, perfection, and what life is all about.
You spend a good deal of time alone, getting acquainted with yourself and your new inner power. This year you gain a better understanding of your emotions and your spiritual nature. Take time out to rest, study, read, and travel, and to look at life from a different angle. Find outlets for personal creative expression.
If you have psychic, spiritual, new age, or mystic interests, this is the year to pursue those studies.
Quality is your standard.

Next Year's Path.
This is your year of achievement, your year to make great strides in business, employment, promotions, monetary compensation, and/or the accumulation of possessions. It is your harvest time.

You feel ambition stirring, a desire to better your financial condition. To accomplish this, it is necessary to be businesslike, efficient, and practical all year.
Many opportunities present themselves. To gain your rewards, move forward in a businesslike manner and with sustained effort. Your state of mind, mental capacity, education, experience, and self-confidence are all part of your success and financial advancement.

You feel desire to make a special effort to improve or bring to a successful conclusion some of the ideas and dreams of the past years.
This is a year of action. Place your abilities on the market with a sense of self-confidence and authority.

Last Year's Path
This is a year of service for you, a duty year. You feel you're assuming new responsibilities. People make more demands of you this year. You are needed in many directions.

Warmth and good will toward others, along with love and harmony, will make everything worthwhile. Justice, fair play, and honesty are important. It is a year for unselfish service.

Take care of your health because without it you cannot help others. Find time for rest and relaxation. This is a year to be thorough and conscientious about everything that you do.

It is a year of fine and friendly influence for marriage, tranquil home conditions, and traditional family activities. You may feel a strong desire to get settled..

A..B..C.. easy as 1..2..3...

A - AVAILABLE?
Yep
B - BEST FRIENDS:
the WORLD :P
C - CRUSH:
-
D - DADS NAME:
:S um disclosed
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO:
Annabel :P
F - FAVE DRINK:
atm.. passionfruit anything :P
G - GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS:
which one's sour? :P mm if neiether than gummy bears :D
H - HOMETOWN:
Oh Little town of Gnomesville
I - INSTRUMENT:
One phrase: Jack of All Trades Master of None..
Voice counted as an instrument?
J - JELLY FLAVOUR:
Lemon or lime..
OR
Lemon N Lime
K - KIDS:
maybe sometime in the V.V. distant future..
but atm.. havent ever put a thought to it
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE:
mm either from LA to Grand Canyon..
OR
Car trips round Europe..
not sure.. i sorta don't sit there
and count the seconds that pass by..
that would sorta be WAY too boring
M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOUR:
Vanilla
yep.. i admit i can be boring
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS:
ONE
tho i still wish for an older brother..
anyone know of a good big brother adoption agency?:P
O - ONE WISH:
Here's a typ answer:
World Peace..
hello? its a wish..
P - PHOBIA:
dunno really..
tho im heaps scared of solitary-try
Q - QUOTE:
"Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening,
Love like you've never been hurt
And Live as if Heaven is on Earth"
R - REASON TO SMILE:
there really isnt a reason needed..
but smile for the people around you,
smile because they smile or
just coz you feel like it..
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD:
Di Yi Tz - Guang Liang
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP:
7:30 am
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME:
I love the Blue Morpho Butterfly
n
today i found a ladybug..
well i nearly stepped on it..
then realised..
so i picked it up
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE:
Avocado
W - WORST HABITS:
Dunno when to shut up...
therefore digging myself endless holes n tunnels
:P
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD:
:S around 2 well that's excluding teeth related ones
Y - YUMMY FOOD:
Most food is yummy.. isnt that enough?
Z - ZODIAC SIGN:
Aquarius

Why is it ALWAYS the quiet ones?

atm i dun really feel like typing a total recount story..
of my current life..
but the point if it was to be typed would be that
K n Albie are over.. as Scar has so kindly proclaimed
huge bunch of thanx to scar!!

anyways..
to my current thought post...
god i havent had one for a while
maybe due to the number of random blanks im getting...
ok starting...

====================================================

actually never got round to starting..
K and Albie are both home...
well Albie's off Snow-something-ing
meanwhile K's at school...
but "home" emough i guess..


====================================================

ok that's in the hols..
and lets see if i can pick up the original point of this post
n drag it thru till i sorta feel like its finished..

WARNING: Long wind-ed and Mood Dampening post...
may be fatalistic to your own happy mood at the current moment..

mmm
like the titles says
"Why is it ALWAYS the quiet ones?"
well obviously not always since its a generalisation
but like if you think about it.
doesnt it just sorta make sense..
well being a generalisation it doesnt apply
to EVERYONE who seems quiet..
but still..

the reason(s) for a particular person being quiet..
hmm make list :D

shy-ness..

non-talkative..

always off with the fairies :P

believe it's not their place to speak

outta their comfort zone

plotting some evil scheme to take over the world ;E
(hmm the E with the eyes sorta looks more like fangs
if you have no idea bout what im talking bout..
check out panda's tagboard that may explain it)

they just wanna be left alone

they believe they have no social skills but wish someone would include them

they've been bullied before and dunno how to act

attention seeking
(since they have the patience to wait till someone comes)
etc..

i guess i was stretching the reasons..
and well some of the reasons i would know from
both experience and 2nd hand knowledge..
but ah well
some maybe viable others may not..

but all in all quietness i guess we conclude
doesnt always lead to being sociable

they ask why it is the quiet ones that may just turn out violent?
but are they even noticed at all before hand?
i mean seriously?
ok on the note of attention seeking,
some may just be successful and get some sorta may not..
but the silent ones that turn violent?
think bout all those ppl out there..
who believe violence is the only way they'll be heard..
im thinkin its a similar thing...
well that is for some.. NOT all..

you wonder why they're violent and get away with it?
coz its not like they're noticed in anyways..
there's always the academics...
the artisically talented..
the physically able..
mentions..
always mentions.. under public eye n scrutiny..
whether its communal or just peer like in school..
if they do anything.. its sorta scandalous..
what they do what they say is in one way or another heard of..

but the participants..?
sometimes just the ones just too quiet..
just to shy..
dont take part..
but when they work up the nerve to actually do or say something?
just overshadowed..
coz there's always the everpresence of others..
or so it may seem..

feeling like you're not heard just brings your self esteem way down.
just think bout it..
no matter what you say..
no matter if you open your mouth to shout.
sometimes it just feels like no one cares..
and thinkin bout it
once you're in that spiral..
all you can do is fall further and further down..
that depression and numbness.
just just doesn't help at all..

but if you see an opening..
just that opportunity..
whether or not you can grab on to it.
n hold it..
that's when you have that lil chance to pull yourself out..
in away redemption in you own eyes..
that light at the end of the tunnel..
that hope..
that someone has finally heard...?

that's all good if you reach that end..
but what if you just happent to F it up?
the only slight bit of hope..
that ray of light
that in your darkest moments you didnt even dare to imagine existed..
came into existance..
but in the same few moments later..
has flickered out
it just seems as all is lost..
there really barely seems to be any other possible comparison
to possibly explain that feeling..
just that endless pitch black inhabited wasteland of your mind..
where your confidence and esteem exists in sub-zero..
and everything seems to have been locked up..
just the total lock up and dead set belief that..
your once and only chance..
where you DARED to even hope..
DARED to dream again..
for those few moments..

GONE..

where you took a chance..
in total fear you reached out..
and yet you failed
and nothing seems to be ahead..
not possible.
never coming back..
never dare to try to reach
never can touch without remembering..
but by forgetting..
all you do is hide n run away..
run back to a yesterday..
a time before you even bothered to try.
bothered to reach out..

until.
until they realise..
a way to both end the pain..
to both leave their mark and at the same time..
end it all..
never have to bear the pain again

For those out there..
who have dragged tehmselves away
from this spiral of low, sad, depression like state
congrats.
for those who havent..
*hugz* i wish you well
and that you may have the courage to reach out..
but in a form other than violence or any self harm or suicide..
-Del

Why Love Me...?

Mmm..
few days since geog camp..
and well i had a mini talk with div...
of which i quoted:

"We love you, not for who you are,
but instead, we love you for who you are NOT"

something i question too sometimes..
the fact that you are actually loved for who you are..
or if its just who you're not..
but if its for who you are...
really i see that as a pretty damn superficial at times..
esp when its the whole you don't actually know them taht well..
its just the fact you only see one side of them
which means that the reason to love them
in the end just shatters..
if that ideal or side of the person you see.
just collapses in itself..
but if its for who they're not..
i see it as just a larger chance..
that the person is still accepted for who they are..
since really the reason for liking/loving them in the first place..
is still there..
its just a new side...
which adds to another dimension of that person..
well unless side you see is the side you see them as not i guess..

and i also thought..
what bout the opposite..
well not entirely..
do we like someone just for the fact of who they're not?
or is it also slightly a personal thing?
like you liek spending time with someone else..
for the side of you that they bring out?
the whole..
a diff person plays on a diff side..
making you react diff..
and just spending time togther just lets you vent off..
and release diff tensions and thoughts..

of which..
i guess going along the whole love theme..
came across this on my comp..
prob pretty old..
i assume i copied it from some forward email..
but i saved it as a word document..
and well time to share..
after all sharing is caring ^^
n some of it is bit repeatitive but ah well..

100個愛妳的理由...你最鐘意邊句?
-->如果仲唔夠畢如大家再提出!!
第001個理由～因為想望著妳告訴全世界我愛妳
第002個理由～因為我只想和妳一生一世一起走
第003個理由～因為我不想讓妳再工作下去了
第004個理由～因為我只想養妳這一個女人
第005個理由～因為除了妳，我的一生，別無所求
第006個理由～因為只有妳，我想帶回去給我的老媽看看
第007個理由～因為有妳，能讓我魂牽夢縈
第008個理由～因為只有妳，能讓我百看不厭
第009個理由～因為只有妳，我想改變一切
第010個理由～因為妳，是我繼續生存下的理由
第011個理由～因為只有妳，可以讓我放棄全世界
第012個理由～因為只有妳，可以改變我的人生觀
第013個理由～因為只想要妳，陪伴著我一生
第014個理由～因為只有妳能讓我有一股衝動（我們結婚吧！）
第015個理由～因為只有妳能讓我有一股衝動（我們生個寶寶吧！）
第016個理由～因為只有妳說的話，讓我不懂得去拒絕
第017個理由～因為我想在妳的心湖裡，充滿我的影子
第018個理由～因為我希望能正大光明的親吻著妳的手
第019個理由～因為我希望能正大光明的摟著妳的腰
第020個理由～因為我希望能正大光明的吻妳的唇
第021個理由～因為我只想和妳，來一次地久天長
第022個理由～因為有妳，昨夜的我又失眠了
第023個理由～因為只有妳，讓我能每天期待著電話鈴聲
第024個理由～因為我想每天聽到妳的聲音
第025個理由～因為我每天早上起床後第一個想到的人就是妳
第026個理由～因為我想每天起床見到的第一個人就是妳
第027個理由～因為只有妳，能讓我放下偽裝已久的面具
第028個理由～因為只有妳，能越過我那高樓般的心防
第029個理由～因為妳能讓我這顆飄泊已久的心，想安定下來
第030個理由～因為只有妳，讓我真的想努力向上
第031個理由～因為沒有人像我那麼笨，一字一字的，想打出數百個愛妳的理由
第032個理由～因為我不想再辜負每一個浪漫的夜晚了
第033個理由～因為我只想要妳，陪我渡過每一個浪漫的夜晚
第034個理由～因為我希望每天都能對著妳說（我愛妳）
第035個理由～因為我想每天都能讓妳開開心心
第036個理由～因為我想讓妳獨佔我的每一個浪漫
第037個理由～因為我想獨佔妳的心房
第038個理由～因為我只想把我的保險受! 益人改成妳的名字
第039個理由～因為我每天都能喝到妳倒給我的飲料
第040個理由～因為我想保護妳一輩子
第041個理由～因為我想照顧妳一輩子
第042個理由～因為我希望我是妳心情不好時的一個好朋友
第043個理由～因為我希望我是妳唯一的好情人
第044個理由～因為我希望我能成為妳的好丈夫
第045個理由～因為我想作妳未來孩子的父親
第046個理由～因為我希望妳是我未來的老婆
第047個理由～因為我希望能成為妳和妳未來孩子的好爸爸
第048個理由～因為有妳的鼓勵，我未來會很有錢哦～～～～
第049個理由～因為我家的肥皂也因為想妳，瘦了好多
第050個理由～因為我想每天都能見到妳那可愛的笑容
第051個理由～因為我只想牽著妳的手，走過每一個人生的旅程
第052個理由～因為我只想牽著妳的手，走過全世界的每一條大街小巷
第053個理由～因為我只想把我所有的心思，用在妳的身上
第054個理由～因為小傑也希望妳能當他的大嫂
第055個理由～因為連我家房裡的枕頭都希望妳能睡它上面
第056個理由～因為我的呼吸，只是為妳
第057個理由～因為我想為了妳，再去買一! 次九十九朵玫瑰花
第058個理由～因為我的老媽一定會喜歡妳
第059個理由～因為我會一輩子的時間去愛妳
第060個理由～因為我相信自己會一輩子喜歡妳
第061個理由～因為我相信自己會一輩子疼妳
第062個理由～因為我相信自己會一輩子照顧妳
第063個理由～因為我相信妳會愈來愈喜歡我
第064個理由～因為我在心中說愛妳，連老天都聽到了，而流下它的眼淚
第065個理由～因為我在心中說愛妳，連老天爺都聽到了
第066個理由～因為我在心中說愛妳，連老天爺都感動了
第067個理由～因為只有妳，讓我想為妳而戒菸
第068個理由～因為我家的棉被想擁抱妳
第069個理由～因為我想要妳，幫我買件衣服
第070個理由～因為我想要妳，幫我買件褲子
第071個理由～因為我已經幫妳準備好住在我家時該用的毛巾了
第072個理由～因為我已經幫妳準備好住在我家時該用的牙刷了
第073個理由～因為我已經告訴我小傑，妳是我的女朋友了
第074個理由～因為我已經答應我家的枕頭，有一天，妳會睡在它上面
第075個理由～因為我已經答應我家的棉被，有一天，妳會陪它睡
第076個理由～因為我已經答應我家的牙刷，它正期待著妳輕? X的吻
第077個理由～因為我也答應了我家的毛巾，它正期待著妳溫柔的親撫
第078個理由～因為我已為妳準備好了在我家的杯子
第079個理由～因為我告訴了我家的杯子，它正期待著妳小巧的唇
第080個理由～因為我已經告訴我的電腦，妳是它未來的女主人
第081個理由～因為我的鍵盤，正期待著妳那輕巧的手指
第082個理由～因為我也告訴我家的門，是妳！得趕快開門
第083個理由～因為為為妳，我家的門每天都顯得很緊張
第084個理由～因為妳，連我家的自來水都緊張
第085個理由～因為妳，我家的任何東西都充滿了感情
第086個理由～因為妳，我家的任何東西都有了生命
第087個理由～因為是妳，我願意告訴妳、我的從前
第088個理由～因為是妳，我願意告訴妳我的現在
第089個理由～因為是妳，我有勇氣大聲的告訴全世界，妳我的將來
第090個理由～因為是妳，我想毫無保留的把我的所有、通通給妳
第091個理由～因為是妳，我的肚量變大了
第092個理由～因為妳是唯一讓我無法生氣的女孩
第093個理由～因為我也長的不差?琚耤耤耤?
第094個理由～因為我想要妳看看我寫過的文章
第095個理由～因為我呆呆的，需要! 有妳這種聰明的來提醒我
第096個理由～因為我知道A其實妳也需要一個人來關心妳
第097個理由～因為我知道，其實妳也需要一個人在妳傷心時陪伴妳
第098個理由～因為我知道，妳是一個好女孩
第099個理由～因為我知道，妳只是想努力賺錢
第100個理由～因為我已經為妳打了一百個理由了哦!!

mmm
thinkin its sorta a shorter than usual..
and well sorta incomplete post...
but since someone's buggin for me to stop
saving as draft..
here's the post..
and i guess ive yet again proven scar's hypothesis..
that i do post straight after she does -.-
despite the fact i was gonna tonite
*sigh*
ntie nite
*hugz*

Take action....NOW!

Tomorrow I am officially going to bring a meat cleaver to school and wave it meaningfully before Adella's face.

C'mon Dell (paddock), it's not that hard...pressing 'publish' instead of 'save as draft' (something along those lines, my whole blogger is in CHINESE because of my computer is all chinese. And don't we all know that Scarlet is a chinese illiterate?)

Affection n Possessive-ness

Damnit..
im on a blogging roll..
yet i cant remember why i wanted to post
-.-

ah rite i remember..
i dunno..
the whole generation gap..
you know the diff between generations
well more of my parents vs. my view point
most of the time i sorta get it
i understand the reasoning behind things..
but being me..
and i LOVE hugs..
i wonder why the warning from my mum
when i hugged a GAY guy..
well for those who know him
i only know one guy who's gay..
but still...
why?
that's something i dont get
its not like there's the whole
strictness on the whole girl n guy thing these days
and hello? its not like i have to keep up a "rep"
of being what? chaste of hugs?

well ok its staff..
but so?
its JUST a hug..
and a friendly one at that..
*sigh* why do we live in the times of such a gen gap?
well i guess PLUS being asian...
but still the diff being before guys n girls cant even touch hands..
but i WASNT holding his hand..
just a bloody friendly hug -.-

and really..
what of the whole guy possessive-ness thing?
quoting from the bottom thing..
off Albie's blog..

If u DON'T LOVE him, he tries to POSSESS u;

why oh WHY does it seem true?
well cmon..
yeah i do like a lil bitta possessiveness in my ideal guy..
but HELLO im not going out
i dont belong to anyone..
why try to possess me??
i like my freedom atm
hell i LOVE my freedom.
well my limited freedom atm since i choose not to test it..
but for me its still there

lol of which reading what i just typed..
i dunno what im talking bout..
parental freedom or having a guyfriend/boyfriend freedom..
:S god..
talk bout multiple issues..
and i dun even know sometimes if i EVEN HAVE these issues
-.-

tho one thing's for sure
i just dislike seeing disapproval in ppl's eyes
or that some ppl voice their disapproval
well ok i have no right in stopping what they may feel
or what they say..
or maybe they're just stating their concern..
but for some..
i see it in my point of view
is taht they have no right as their own person
to repeatedly state and argue with ME..
but what I think or what I do
and just to state the obvious..
whether or not readers care..
no im not referring to my parents
since i willingly listen to their thoughts and opinions..
tho what i do with them is yet for me to decide..

you know..
this is one of the less explored thought posts.
but i guess..
maybe it just gets the point across..
im having a sorta
thought explosion of random thing..
since i dunno..
i actually am reflecting a slight bit more again

but yeah
REALLY g2g
gettin late
nite nite
*hugz*

Total Ramble-y Goodness ^^

Ok..
so looks like the copy post off Albie didnt
get me to finish the whole draft posts lurking on my dashboard..
but oh well..
thought of something new..
well not really..
but thought of something i felt like posting on..
cant say much really..

i guess
before lack of posting could be due to the fact
that as melvin tried to do..
sorta worked for me.
drowning out my thoughts via music
the fact that i listen to my ipod more and more
leaves less room for thinking since the lyrics being sung in my head
would make up for any usual thinking i would do..
and well recently with K n Albie over..
even less thought put in anything
well my head really
since before it was always random thoughts
coz im so alone so i just sit there
and have the only convo i could possibly have when im alone..
just sitting there and thinking..
sorta having a convo with myself..

ok back to the whole point of this post..

Tell me, is it just curiosity?
the fact that there are those who just stop,
join and and take a glance at what is to be seen?
ok really what i said can be taken in many ways i guess..
there's the whole mental stop
and review the whole life.. reflection thing..
but there's also the type of stoppin in the physical sense..
stopping by a shop window,
just coz a few ppl are looking in there..
and it draws your curiosity..
the fact that only a few can gather and a herd, a group, a crowd,
just standing together, they attract more and more
just coz a single which which draws others?

is it but instinct? that as mere animals we still draw others?
for the companionship, the need to be a group
the need to stand as a larger form of the one?
the compulsion to do just one thing a as a group?
the fact that within a group
there is that comfort that we seek?
a comfort zone, a thing of familiarity?

And what of those?
those who wish to be individualistic?
do they not in themselves draw others to them?
A trend-setter for example.
but of them, there are those who would revel in the attention
if it was their intial intent then good for them..
but why are those who assuming-ly wanna be an individual
meanwhilst
to be an individual they draw on teh ideas of others?
and get annoyed at people for copying them??
coz cmon tell me..
how many TRULY original ideas are there out there?
maybe its just a pesmissitic view
but seriously..
what's the chance that an idea is ENTIRELY in itself original?
in my opinion it can only be but a modification

the fact that thoughts are internal
how can there be a claim to originality
when you have no idea whether across this vast world..
another may have thought of it once before?
yet have not had the means of which to do or express
their thought?

how much is it that we are is original anyways?
to be individualistic..
we are but conforming..
tho i guess in the ideal of free will we are
but just conforming through free will instead of through force
but is our will not also in itself affected by peer pressure?
it just seems to go round in circles..
*sigh*
just like the whole free will and free marketing thing..
well i think that's how it goes??

mm i guess really for me..
that was a long time no post ramble..
and damn! it felt good :P

anyways
nite nite
*hugz*
mite just post again..
depends on how i feel