Just Faces in the Crowd...

just went n deleted bout 2 potential posts
i had started a while back..
both really being only bout 15 lines long..
i guess in the end having something to talk bout
but in the end procrastinated..

===========================================
hmm
and yet above was another one that was left incomplete
well mock period sorta in a way has started..
what with study vac being today n yesterday..
i went to school today and i got my lit essay mark back..
and yet again.. fail... *sigh*
tho i couldnt have done much for that one
since i was unseen and we brought clean sheets of the poems in

atm for lit..
im teetering on an average of pass..
which is good that im passing
but i should be trying for a better pass instead of a scrape pass

main probs i need to work on??
expression n sentence structure *sigh*
of which i can either blame on:
(note: endless ramble on my justifications for my poor marks
skip to next para if you wish not to waste your time..
well actually what i mostly write is a waste of ppl's time
when they read it anyways but point being..
skip if you cbb :D) (note 2: after rereading my reasoning..
im just thinking im aiming this as something which i can vent about.
instead of venting on other things.. so its just an open attack on
self-justification of my bad marks but in the end.. just needing
somethign to vent ON)
(note 3:ok last of all just noticed my
notes in themselves turned into practically nother whole para -.-)

a)i actually do have an inability to express myself clearly

b)i never learnt how to write sentences *cough*bullshit*cough*

c)the fact that im blogging as my main source of written expression
these days therefore the lack of structure in my posting
has seeped across into my essay writing skills

d)the fact that i blog i now do a similar thing in essay writing
and just write blindingly therefore incoherancy

e)the teachers!! :P (this one shouldnt be valid but anyways)
the fact that they dont acknowledge my own personal voice
in the writing of my essays..
(damnit the teacher was going on bout reading into the reasoning
behind the way the poem was ritten n what it conveyed
doesnt that apply to my essay to?
well no since it isnt their job to analyse my essay..
ah damnit.. contradiction!! no wonder i dont cant argue my point in essays!!)

f)the comments.. the teachers contradict themselves in their comments
IN THE SAME ESSAY!!
"incomplete sentence" "sentence too LONG"

g)"read the comments they'll help you improve" HELLO?
the word "expression" isnt very helpful
elaboration would help alot..

h)i dont like the teacher (yet another invalid.. but still)
hey wait.. if the teacher student relationship doesnt do as well
then they work against each other therefore marks = bad
hmm cant do much in the end tho..
cant exactly swap classes coz i hate the teacher

i)...


oke..
to the heading of this post?
in one day i had seen 2 ppl from my primary school..
and its just amazing that you can talk to someone everyday..
and yet time passes and you cant even recognise em enough..
even to approach em to say hi..
i guess in the end there's also the uncertainty..
well for me MAJOR uncertainty..
what with my recognition-challenged ability to recognise ppl -.-
*sigh* the only way it was fully confirmed for one
was that their DOG recognised me n i remembered the dog..
it was a suspicion it was confirmed by the presence of a dog tied outside..
how sad.. the dog was all happy to see me n all
*sigh*

and yet on the other hand..
the other person i saw..
i recognised em..
what can i say? ive seen em every once in a while..
but yeah i didnt even say high..
more of a nod n smile of recognition..

tho then again..
for those who do end up approaching me..
(hmm this usually occurs when its some past classmate's parents)
say "hi adela" im thinkin in my mind "um who are you?"
n they're like "i cant believe your this big now..
i remember when you were such n such tall/little"

or there's those parents friends..
who ramble off on a tangent..

and then there's those who love to say..
"oh i'd love for you to meet my son.."
or suggest
something along the lines of marriage..
*shrudder*
im not intending that any time soon..

and now bordering on the closing of yr 12.
well ok still have exams n all..
but do we really see each other that often on exams?
will it just turn out to be faces in the crowd?
*sigh* i hope not..
well let alone first having to see each other in the first place
the likelihood... hmmm...

ever wonder if the concept of "forever" just being an illusion
just coz you dont wanna face it?
actually just the pessimistic view..
would be that forever is an optimistic light cast on the idea
of keeping together..
i mean who wants to be reminded that life is short??

you know..
when it comes to times of study..
when its so intense...
i realised how easily procrastination takes hold..
n well suddenly there's so many more interesting thing around...
*sigh*

anyways
nite nite
*hugs*