Emotional Survey..

Hmm.. found this quite appropriate..
Survey I stole off Kura's blog who stole it off Al's blog

EMOTION SURVEY

1. what do you do when you're really mad?
Keep it in usually..
if not.. then vent in some way or the other..
but usually keep it in.. goes away soon enough

2. what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
Can't really remember..
tho i think i threw a hissyfit at my sister sometime last yr..
and scared teh shit out of her ^^"

3. ever hurt someone verbally when you're mad?
my sister when i threw that pissed of agro fit?

4. ever hurt someone physically when you're mad?
not anything that caused any extreme bodily harm ^^"
tho really i rarely take things out on ppl..
unless they seriously deserve it..
or im jus prejudiced *cough*

5. do you curse when you're mad?
at times.. not always...

Crying Section

1. last time you cried your heart out?
sometime last yr most likely..

2. ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yeah it happens..

3. ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
Nope.. when i really get that emotional..
usually not really anyone round for a shoulder to cry on..

4. ever cry when you get an injury?
Yeah when i was lil...

5. do certain songs make you cry?
Definately some songs definately evoke V strong emotions..
some songs can make me cry..
but really depends on the memories linked to the song
AND the emotional stability at that time..

Pain Section

1. what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?
Something that happened recently..
of which some ppl know of..
and seriously im scared..
its such a small thing..
its not entirely my fault but then again..
theres that whole guilt..
where yes i contributed to it..
WHY should i have to care?
i dont understand..
thats the real confusion..
the self-centred side says why should i fucking give a bloody damn...
but then sympathetical side just bloody feels guilt.
that its ALL my fault but its NOT entirely my fault
AGGGHHH BLOODY PROBLEM ISSUE THAT FUCKING BUGS ME
and if you do know bout this issue..
and wanna comment..
plz request just to email me..
and not cast it into the open..
i dont want to go thru explainations over it and dig it all up

2. how depressed can you get?
quite a lot..
put in the right surroundings guilt and being alone
can drive the mind into hard thinkign depression
-.-"
damn..
*must think happy thoughts.. think happy thoughts*

Happy Section
1. are you normally a happy person?
Yeah sure..
a few yrs back..
minus the complaints..
wasnt that long ago ^^"
but genuinely..
i can be happy..
just when i can cast aside the imperfections of life..
and concentrate on the present

2. what can make you happy?
Just being around ppl in general...
well that is..
being round ppl i know well
and just having a general talk is all i need ^^

3. do you wish you were happier?
Well being happier really depends on ure self doesnt it?
so in general..
wishing can come true..
Just have to put in the effort..
so i think you should rephrase the q and be
"do you WANT to be happier?"
yeah i'd like to be..
jus need to out and bout bit more..
and ill be happy as larry..
how ever happy that is :S

4. what about being with your friends makes you happy?
DEFINATLEY !!

Love Section

1. have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?
Not likely.. not atm at least..
and coming from an attitude that says..
i dun need boyfriends..
highly unlikely

2. what happend to number two! ? ! XD
huh? what type of q is this?

3.have you loved someone so much,it made you cry?
not quite sure bout this q..
doesnt really make sense to me..

4.has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?
Nope...

Hate Section

1. have you ever been on a hate list?
could be.. no idea really..
and i doubt anyone other than elle has admitted to me they HAVE a hate list

2. have you ever hated any one that broke your heart?
Truthfully...
i have liked and possibly loved but no one has broken my heart..
well maybe my sister :P

Self-Esteem Section

1. is your self-esteem extremely low?
not extremely.. but it has its downward dips..

2.do you believe in yourself?
not really.. sorta lacking in the motivation dept..

3.when people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you deny you are?
i dunno..
really depends who says it..
like i said before..
strangely i can accept such a compliment from an elderly person..
but not from anyone else really..
like ppl my mum's age may say it..
and i just say thanx...
but my peers say it and i totally deny.. :S

4. are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?
no i dun think im TOTALLY ugly dumb and fat..
but im still imperfect..
i still manage to do completely STUPID things..
and i am slightly on the chubby side :P

5. ever wanted to kill yourself cuz you thought you weren't good enough?
how can you ever be good enough for anything?
i mean this world is filled with imperfections..
so why should you ureself be a discount and be utterly perfect???
its impossible..
and seriously
i hate those simple cowards who turn to death..
as a simple outlet..
there are ppl out there dying everyday..
wishing they had just one more day of their life..
where as there many teens jus committing suicide..
not taking a slight thought to the value of their own life..
where later on in their life they could make a change in the world..
and if not..
it would just be brave to go on in consideration of their loved ones..
just to strive on for the sake of their loved ones..

and yeah you can argue they may not have any loved ones
who care for em any more..
but is it still not being a cowardice..
just the fact taht they dotn have anyone who loves them..
arent they still taking a cowardice route..
escaping in the easiest way they think possible?

6.are you happy with who you are?
-no comment- in general..
tho i thank god and my parents for everything i have ^^

who i am..
i really am yet to decide if im happy over..

Emotional Weekend..

GOD...
what is up with me..?
im going from crappy to being closed to f***** up..
with total random fluctuations of crappy moods..
to nearing happy to crappily ALL OVER AGAIN...

WARNING..
emotional out burst session..
does not neseccarily mean ill be in the same mood by the end..
hopefully all this ends up with me finishing happy :D
and back to crappy hw..
and for any **** if you really choose to..
in ure reading insert a vulgar term you know of..
may be more fun for your reading or wahtever..
i dont bloody give a damn..

now where to ...... start...
my main point?
im going bloody insane at home..
on the upside i spent practically the whole w/e
playing mahjong..
on the down side im practically going insane..
i reapeat insane...!!
there is absolutely NO one to talk to..

yeah there's msn.
yeah there's the fone..
but its not the bloody same..
STILL trapped in the same bloody surroundings..
OH and the fucking fact that
i COMPLETELY HATE talking on the FUCKING fone..

HMM..
and my bloody shitty sister..
my great crappy good-ness..
dont you bloody get the fact that
yes i take what you bloody say to heart?
and seriously it HURTS like F-ing hell when you say things?
yeah i like to hear the truth..
yeah i prefer honesty..
but sometimes..
you dont bloody understand do you???
couse you dont..
your so much younger..
so god forsakenly arrogant and selfcentred.
dont even bloody to take into account what you do actually say
it FING cuts some times

oh and the bloody fact that ..
SINCE YOUR my bloody sister..
that you dont seem to be able to get into your head..
that what you say
PPL TEND TO TAKE SERIOUSLY
why?
coz ure my bloody sister..
some ppl dont take into the account the fact that ure joking ...
coz of the fact that ure a KID
and the fact taht ure my sister..
they bloody fuking believe it..

oh waht else???

hmm.. NOT every BLOODY SIDE of me that you see.
IS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF ME..
what do you want me to do?
completly turn???
i have my limits to..
everyone has em..
and there is a certain degree of everything ppl can take..
and take at a certain amount of time..

just coz i dun do this at home..
jus coz i dont do that..
just coz YOU dont seem or hear me doing something.
does not mean that i may or may not do or say it..
god damnit!!

why is it that everyone seems to bind some kind of bloody FUCKING
ideal to every bloody person????
i mean i openly admit i have quite a few fucking sides..
and really
i know some others who have confided in me
that they themselves have more than one side..
now why cant everyone i bloody know accept that i DO
yes indeed i HAVE more than ONE FREAKING side..
i have EMOTIONS TOO!!!
i have the right to bloody react in whatever i choose like doing
i dont want to bloody fit the fucking constraints
of ideals you have of me coz thats only what you fucking see

and what of all the bloody *********** ********* and **********
who bloody stare..
what the bloody hell is wrong with you?
what is bloody wrong with me???
i walk past..
who bloody cares?
look at whatever you like..
but where the fuck is the need for total open staring?
i dont belong in some bloody zoo where ppl pay to come in
and openly stare and gasp at..
i aint trapped and confined to some bloody cage..
so leave me the well alone..

i wear what i choose so what the fuck is wrong with you?
this is a free country..
i wear what i like..
and really i dont bloody give a damn
if what i wear is totally out of fashion
and for the record..
i was NOT wearing anything skimpy..
just a simple tank top and jeans..
so what the hell is wrong?!?!

piss off and keep ure bloody eyes to ure self..

i really shouldnt be fucking aiming my vent at my sister..
but most of it is..
centred that way..
dont you bloody see that what you do really matters to me???

dont you bloody get the fucking stresses and pressures i get?
i seriously dont need shit from you as well!!

dont you bloody ppl see?
that yes..
it seems so much easier just to smile..
than to go thru anything and explain..
just as K's msn nick states???

and of everything..
how bloody easy it is just forget and ignore..
but still when you get home..
the problems will still rise..
if they are problems that seem to slightly come up at home
tho really they arent anything major..
totally minor..
yet why the hell do they bloody affect me like this?

yesterday..
i asked my mum...
if i could work out in the resto..
during the holz..
coz i was going insane at home..
and the only reply i got..
was ill talk to ure dad..

last nite..
was told by my dad
"you dont need friends
you should be concentrating on study
reaching the aims and goals.."

UGH..
i NEED OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE
the HOUSE is driving me insane..
ive been stuck in these bloody fucking walls for so bloody long..
the only settings i only bloody ever see is either school or home
and occasionally
if im lucky the shop or resto...
this literally is TOO MUCH
im SICK OF IT..
i NEED OUT-AGE..

oh..
and then
"if you need to talk to any one..
talk to mum or your sister..
im sure they'll listen"

hmm..
i dont mind but HELLO!!
mum nearly NEVER at home..
and my sister?
sometimes the bloody cause of things..
yeah great that talk that'll end up being...
PLUS the fact that even if i tell her anything?
she'll either twist it totally out of shape and broadcast it..
OR
broadcast it and use it as blackmail for something or the other..

yep..
my dad SO understands the conditions of how much i can talk to ppl..

on the question
WHY THE FCUKING hell am i writing this up?
getting bit too personal..
but *sigh*
i think ill leave it at this..
a part vent is better than none..

nite

Weekend at LAST!!!

its FINALLY the w/e
yay!!!

mm my week's gone by pretty crappily
i had both a lit oral and a h bio Common Task on thurs..
on wed nite i was up getting them done
(I could bring in an A4 sheet into my h bio CT)

and then
i woke up at like 5:30 am on thurs to get more done..
sent all the work to school..
and at school... in the morning..
the printers STUFFED UP..
i had a near major stress attack !
but yeah.. in the end they printed out the stuff

my h bio CT turned out ok.. i didnt even use the notes..
-.-" the fact that i woke up early to get em done sorta annoyed me..
i was running on lack of sleep..
then due to other groups taking more time than expected..
me and my partner didnt have to do our lit oral on thurs
SO much relief..
but i had a voice lesson after school..
and was told i was TOTALLY UTTERLY off tune..
and was due to tiredness and stress..
so i was like OMG !!
ah well..
guess tip for singing is no stress and tiredness
so got nowhere for that lesson..

then.. left the lesson..
went in search of my sister..
walked round the whole school
and even up to the boarding house and couldnt find her...
5 mins later i was heaps annoyed
and find her on the total opposite side of the school
with mum -.-"

so i was annoyed.. PLUS i was late for an orthodontal appt..
mm and got in a mini argument with mum over my sister and routine..

but ah well..
its ok now..

tho funnily today..
i was reading blogs..
my mum walks into the room..
and she was like "why arent you doing ure hw?"
i was like "im jus reading ppl's blogs"
and she went off on a tangent..
saying how not to read too much
saying that i could become
part of a suicidal cult from depression and reading self degrading material

so much for my mum's belief in my self esteem!!

hmm i havent talked bout today
since the lit oral was delayed..
i was sure that i had to present it today..
went into class
teacher asked what was wrong..?
coz i was fully stressed..
and i was like " i HATE orals.. im totally scared and can barely deal with em"
then teacher goes off on a patronising role liek she's meant to..
to comfort etc..
cept for me..
all that did was make me tear-y eye-d..
and im not sure if she realised it..
as she talked..
more tears welled up..
so she keeps talking...
then i sorta rudely walked out on her talking..
i HAD to go to the bathroom to wipe away the tears...

my god..
i gone from total stress and near break down..
to literal tears and crying.
talk bout instability/stress and nervous/mental breakdowns..

*sigh*
i went back to class all good..
then teacher who doesnt realise it..
went off AGAIN -.-"
i ended up CRYING ALL over again

my god..
im not sure if she realised she was partly triggering it..
i tried self composure again..
and she put in a few comforting words again..
And tears came again..

which in the end i was feeling really frustrated..
coz i wanted her to stop saying things so that i would stop crying..
cept she didnt get the point..
-.-"
so all the frustration..
i just ended up getting MORE stressed..
and got a blood nose
my day just was CRAPPY...

and these days..
i think i tend to have stress induced blood noses..
there doesnt seem to be any other possible factor other than weather..
i had a blood nose during chem test..
in the MIDDLE of the test..
and then some times when im stressed..
or tensed up.. or over excited.. tho rarely..
mainly occur due to stress..
tho only started this yr really..

ah well..
all i can say is THANK GOD for the weekend !!

Reflection and possible Vent

Sittin here..
and i hear fireworks outside :S

i was lookin thru some of my posts throughout the 3 yrs..
or nearing three yrs..
but realised how much my style has sorta changed..
jus the fact that its changed from a total diary...
a recount of what ive done each day/week
to something that's practically my
mental dumping ground..
or at least emotional venting place..

and seriously..
some of the things that i had done as quizes..
like quiz results..
i guess some of them are really applicable..

you know..
a thought that really sorta bugs me atm...
and i havent typed out..
well hopefully not..

its the fact that in both lit and RE..
they're like
"yes" we encouage you to think, challenge and interpret"
but they're like
"no, but you see..."
when you do make some interpretation..
and changing ure interpretation
-.-"
ugh..
where is the freedom of reading what you wanna read?

ugh..
realised im flooding my own board..

scar...
you said that feminine guys are hot...?
ure referring to those who are metro?
or just those who are in touch with their feminine side?

======================================================
And yet again..
a left over post from the previous day..
that was the 18th..
today's the 19th..

hey thats freaky..
scar you mentioned church on my tagboard..
and from yesterday's post
i was slightly talkin bout RE (Religious Education)...
which is now officially called CE (Christian Education)
since some BLOODY person had to be so bloody specific..
even tho we dun have much of a Christian orientation
int the subject anyways..

ok far from the whole making links between stuff..

why is it that..
if i look depressed that the assumption over the sadness
is either school or guys?
you know ppl..
you could just ask what its bout...
instead of randomly stabbing blindly in the dark..
trying to find the answer..
and if i choose to tell you then..
YAY you get to know..
other wise stuff u..
well not exactly stuff you..
but if i choose not to tell you ..
then you can either stay concerned..
OR
dont worry..
ppl get over things sooner or later..

but then again somehtings never change..
well unless ppl choose to and will to change..
its the whole choice thing then..

anyways..
continuing on with the vent..
questioner continues..
Quote: You're hot, You're rich.. wat else could be wrong?
whether im hot..
well up to each individual..
coz im not gonan argue bout pplz tastes...
but rich?
im not rich..
my parents bloody work their asses off..
its just that we have enough just to get by..
and what else could be wrong?
a whole bloody ton of things..
i dont wanna be perceived as taking everything for granted..
but there can be things that can be wrong..
and it doesnt have to be related to wealth, boys or education
well some of my issues do revolve around guys and education..
but that wasnt the reason i was sad..
well more of looking pissed off and annoyed..

anyways..
on to happier note..
yeah i agree with you scar..
feminine guys are really appealing..
tho depends to what degree..
:S
im jus picky i think with things..
well picky or pedantic bout randomt things..
and if not that..
im feeling guilty or regretful over one thing or the other..
*sigh*

hmm where did the happy note go to?
off with the fairies..
since it was happy and didnt really coexist
with my current mental state..
well im not sad atm
but im not happy either....
tho in away..
i was happy most of today..
which is goood :D

anyways..
chem test tomoz..
and i really cbb studying..
well im writing out some notes atm for revision..
and guess ill be doing revision qs early tomoz morning..

ugh..
this is just another reason for distraction..
kk gonna go study now..
nite
*hugz*

Week 6 Term 1 of Yr 12... Now End of Week 7

Well really feel like bloggin..
but well nothign really to talk bout..
should be studying h bio..
but im sorta bored of that..
im hating my chem teacher atm..
she's so...
im actually dreading chem now..
which is a surprise..
ive always liked chems and pracs..
well pracs in general :P
im actually for the first time in my life
falling asleep in chem..
which is another new thing..
well not really first time ive fallen asleep
but its happend so much more often these days..
i seriously feel as if the lessons are pointless...
im serious..
i miss havin ms lewis teach..
its jus not the same..

physics..
im considering bout a tutor..

lit..
i so far aint liking..
the style of the poet we're studying now..
she seems interesting and all..
but i dun like her style of writing..

applic...
feels like i never have those lessons..

geog..
teacher is so cute ^^
so funny as well
and obviously the fact that
we have those lil 5 minute rests :P

h bio..
not really much comment..
my teacher is my tutor..
at least she aint checkin hw :P

well..
long w/e is over..
my highlight i guess was really mon nite..
went out to sizzlers with parents..
and watched casanova after..
nice movie..
my mum sorta didnt understand it much..
my sister found it boring
my dad slept thru the whole thing..
i wonder who enjoyed it most?
ah well at least it was time spent as family :D

hmm had a random thought..
guess i will be typing an slightly opinionated post after all..
:P

Note: TOTAL generalisation..
not directed at anyone like some posts..
and off the top of my head...

why is it..
that guys..
well..

==========================================
taht was nearing a whole week ago
-.-"
that was the 8th of March..
it is now the 13th...
so off the top of my head..
i cant exactly remember the main topic..
-.-"

==========================================
14/3/06
wanna get this post over and done with..
i dun want this overhanging posts..
jus sitting there..
jus like some others of mine..
which never end up being published..

and you know what?
i remembered what i was typin bout..
the very first time..
before the cut off...

guys..
why is it..
(and i guess can be partly my fault)
that unless they open a conversation..
there is a lower chance of replies?
like a conversation does require a person speaking
and a person replying..

ugh.. its jus a stinking tuesday..
i want the w/e..
looks like this wont be finished.. -.-"

===========================================
ok seriously determined to finish this...
its the 17th..

but dunno what to talk of....

and ive totally completly lost the idea
of my weirded convo discuss thingy..

bleh..
dying post..
better end it here..
nite nite
*hugz*

Random Tags...

This random tag thingy....
*self tagged since im bored.. off kura's blog*

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
After my picture fades and darkness has turned to grey.
Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm OK.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Empty Space..

3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?
um.. the commonwealth games opening ceremony..
well not the whole thing.. in attempt of taping it..
due to the fact i sorta had to write notes for geog..
as my form of study yesterday..

4.Without looking, guess what time it is:
Well.. came home 4:30 so approx 5:30pm ?

5.Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
What's the Time Mr Wolf?
It's 5:28 o'clock in the arvo

6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Song: Dong Xin
its pretty nice ^^
otherwise.. i hear my mum clanking away in the kitchen..
dunno what she's doing..

7.When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
when i got home.. went outside..
to see the what the person dude who's building for us
has done so far..
-.-" i jus found out today we're having something built

8.Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Kura's blog? that is where i got i from..

9.What are you wearing?
Do you really need to know?
blue singlet top.. and jeans

10.Did you dream last night?
No.. too tired for that..
well at least if i did i doubt i'd remember by this time of day..

11. When did you last laugh?
mm.. some time in private study..
cant remember over what tho :S

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
On the walls? nothing really.. got a few stars..
the walls are light pink.. and um..
they'res gonna be those glow in the dark hearts on em..
when i get the botherance to actually stick em up..

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Life in General?

14. What do you think of this quiz?
thought it would be an original diff one at the start..
but now the q are getting pretty boring..

15. What is the last film you saw?
Notebook.. a few days ago..
we rented it out..

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
no idea... better world? tho totally naive.. we can always dream:P

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
i am ALIVE!!
nah... um...
what dont you know?
you dont know me..
there can be too many sides..
of which no one has seen all
god sounds so corny -.-"

=============================================
that was yesterday...
anyways continuing on...

18. If you could change one thing about the world,
regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
simple... ask for a better world.. as naive as that thought is..

19. Do you like to dance?
Yes!! but doesnt mean im can -.-"

20. George Bush:
Current President of USA

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Haven't thought that far..
and cbb

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
ditto above answer...

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
ditto above.. tho europe or USA seems nice

-------------------------------------------------
Random thingy 2..

Starting off with 100%..
minus 1% point per thing you admit to have done..
Me : 60%

1.Smoked
.2.Drank alcohol.
3.Cried when someone died.
4.Been drunk.
5.Had sex.
6.Been to a concert.
7.Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
8.Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
9.Been verbally sexually harassed.
10.Verbally sexually harassed somebody.
11.Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12.Laughed so hard something came out of your
nose.
13.Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14.Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15.Been to prom.
16.Cried at school.
17.Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18.Went streaking.
19.Given a lap dance.
20.Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
21.Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22.Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23.Kissed a stranger.
24.Hugged a stranger.
25.Went scuba diving.
26.Driven a car.
27.Gotten an xray.
28.Hit by a car.
29.Had a party.
30.Done drugs.
31.Played strip poker.
32.Got paid to strip for someone.
33.Ran away from home.
34.Broken a bone.
35.Eaten sushi.
36.Bought porn.
37.Watched porn.
38.Made porn.
39.Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
40.Been in love.
41.Frenched kissed.
42.Laughed so hard you cried.
43.Cried yourself to sleep.
44.Laughed yourself to sleep.
45.Stabbed yourself.
46.Shot a gun.
47.Trash talked someone and then acted like their
best friend the next day.
48.Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
49.Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
50.Watched an animal die.
51.Watched a person die.
52.Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with
at least 1 person present.
53.Pranked somebody.
54.Put somebody in the hospital.
55.Snuck into someone's room and/or your own
room after being out.
56.Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57.Dressed punk.
58.Dressed goth.
59.Dressed preppy.
60.Been to a motocross race.
61.Avoided somebody.
62.Been stalked.
63.Stalked someone.
64.Met a celebrity.
65.Played an instrument.
66.Ridden a horse.
67.Cut yourself.
68.Bungee jumped.
69.Ding dong ditched somebody.
70.Been to a wild party.
71.Got caught stealing something.
72.Kicked a guy in the balls.
73.Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74.Went out with your friend's crush.
75.Got arrested.
76.Been pregnant.
77.Babysat.
78.Been to another country.
79.Started your house on fire.
80.Had an encounter with a ghost.
81.Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82.Been asked out by someone that you never
though you'd to be asked out by.
83.Cried over a member of the opposite sex
84.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
85.Sat on your ass all day.
86.Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87.Had a job.
88.Gotten cut from a sports team.
89.Been called a wh0re.
90.Danced like a wh0re
91.Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92.Been in a car accident.
93.Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94.Been told you have beautiful hair.
95.Raped somebody.
96.Danced in the rain.
97.Been rejected.
98.Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99.Punched someone/slapped someone in the
face.
100.Been raped

Long Weekend... Viva Love Generation

Well..
nearing a whole week from the ball...
and atm..
all i feel is weak...
well at the very current moment that is..
really this post was gonna be all happy happy
recaps and everything..
but i just cant bring myself up to it..
now that i have time to actually type this..
its just like total deflation..

im writing an email to someone atm...
and like seriously..
it feels like there's nothing happening..
the week after the ball its just all downhill..
its like there's nothing to look forward to..
but at the same time..
suffering post ball blues..
its like..
im distracted even tho im not meant to be..
i should be concentrating..

i stuffed up my lit essay on wed..
and well today...
3 assessments were totally two words...
F-KED UP
*sigh*

On the monday after the ball..
went on soup patrol...
guess it really was a new experience...
just the sight of so many ppl...
well i was sorta expecting more in my mind..
but still
the fact that there really are ppl there
who do use the services..
yes its good they do get a decent food intake..
but it just disturbs me..

the fact taht there were ppl there
i didnt really mind..
the fact taht i saw a kid there who ran away from home
really shook my lil bubble world...
the fact taht some kid really did just run away
and was perfectly happy bout living on the street...
i sorta shouldnt be talking bout it..
and well im not really making judgements on anything
but for me personally i found it as something
that i really hadn't encountered before..

the whole soup serving was actually quite fun..
the cleaning obviously wasnt..
and getting home...
EVERYWHERE i went..
even AFTER a shower...
and changing...
i STILL smelt it EVERYHWERE
the bloody soup smell..
UGH...
it was like mush..
but hey most likely nutritional..
made by a hospital
so bound to have all needed nutrients im sure..

Great way to start a w/e...
finding out there's talk of you in another school
*sigh*
and thats on top of the already thing
that is still overhanging some other school...

i have no connections to these things
i dont really have close friends in other schools...
WHY me???

why is it that i cant escape these things?
tho then again..

sometimes i just wish that i had a friend..
that i totally grew up with..
where there really would be no problem discussing things with..
coz i know there are things i can talk bout to some ppl
but then again i cant talk to others about...

and really..
there's the whole distrust..
no offense to some ppl..
if ure reading and you do get offended...
but somethings.. if it talk too much bout it..
i feel like im just self obsessing..
others i feel like i cant talk..
in fear of it becoming any form of gossip..
and then on top of that..
for some i feel like i cant talk over connections..
liek i can talk bout ppl..
but if they dun know the person im talkin bout..
its like pointless..
since all taht happens is i have to explain everything..
of which i'll just end up telling part truth..
which will lead to further repurcussions of the same subject...
coz i wanna finish it off..
*sigh*

why is it that there really isnt anyone..
that knows of the ppl i wanna talk bout..
that i can talk to in total full confidience?
but at times there are..
but then again..
its just that there's teh fear of waht i say..
being used against me..
after all it happens alot...
*sigh*

with this whole build up..
its just like..
it just feels weakening..
it just lowers me..
dragging me down..
why i cant get over these things i dunno..
and really..
seeking comfort over things..
its just like there seems to be no place i can hide..
not really a shelter..
where i can just block out any thoughts in any set of moments..

and over all..
overshadowing all this..
it always leads to my sister..
both my mum and my sister..
i dont wanna blame em..
but then again..
it feels like im tied down to my sister..
well yes..
it is the whole duty..
but..
i feel like i blame it too much
over the whole lack of childhood "friends"..
but of the ones i really did have
i dunno
they just really arent that close..
if i keep pushing the blame..
i could blame em forever..

but really i think as far as friendships go..
i think it just seems to be..
that there is the lack of connection..
could be that i just dont open up or whatever..
yes in the last few yrs ive gotten to know really lovely friends..
but sometimes..
i feel like the link there..
in itself is just too weak..

and really..
it takes two to keep any relationship going
any friendship..
any connection..
when talk becomes scarce..
all that happens will be the thin-en-ing
of the connection..
ppl become distant..
*sigh*

somethings scare me..
somethings just too confusing..
and as my usual..
i try not to face it...

but i guess these things..
they really surface..
when anyone reminds me..
or just teh simple fact that i have time to think..
reflection..
what has happened..
what could happen...
i really..
i dunno i wanna just hide..
hide from the world..
hide from causes..
and hide from teh effects..

maybe it could be a slight factor of my oblivious-ness..
i just dont wanna know
i wanna be shielded..
just Dont wanna know..

well anyways..
getting late
nite nite
*hugz*

Email Forward : How old is Grandma ?

i really should be posting bout ball
it was fun and all
but cbb atm..
maybe next week ill do a summary with pix...
since i can load atm..

but here's an email forward i got..
interesting..
tho not sure bout the accuracy in age...
since it being an email..
and well times change
so not known the number of yrs to add on to the age of the email
and the answer
but ah well

================================================

How old is Grandma?
Stay with this the answer is at the end it will blow you
away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about
current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the
shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born
before:

*television
*penicillin
*polio shots
*frozen foods
*Xerox
*contact lenses
*Frisbees
*the pill.

There was no:
*radar
*credit cards
*laser beams
*ball-point pens

Man had not invented:
*pantyhose
*air conditioners
*dishwashers
*clothes dryers and the clothes were
hung out to dry in the fresh air
*and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

*Your Grandfather and I got married first-and then lived
together.
*Every family had a father and a mother.
*Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir'- and
after I turned 25, I still called policemen
and every man with a title, 'Sir.'
*We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers,
daycare centers,and group therapy.
*Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,
good judgment, and common sense.
*We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong
and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
*Serving your country was a privilege
*living in this country was a bigger privilege.
*We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
*Having a meaningful relationship meant
getting along with your cousins.
*Draft dodgers were people who closed their
front doors when the evening breeze started.
*Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the
evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
*We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
typewriters, yoghurt, or guys wearing earrings.
*We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's
speeches on our radios.
*And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out
listening to Tommy Dorsey.
*If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
*The term 'making out' referred to
how you did on your school exam.
*Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
*We had 5 &10-cent stores where you
could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
*Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi
were all a nickel.
*And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel
on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
*You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600
but who could afford one?
*Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:
*"grass" was mowed
*"coke" was a cold drink
*"pot" was something your mother cooked in and
*"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
*"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office
*"chip" meant a piece of wood,
*"hardware" was found in a hardware store and
*"software" wasn't even a word.

*And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady
needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and
confused" and say there is a generation gap...
and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old lady in mind...you are in for a shock!

pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the
same time.

This Woman would be only 58 years old!

hope you enjoyed
nite
*hugz*

PISS OFF!!!

ok..
this is totally not directed in anyone in general
but i really wanna vent this off..
well actually it is directed at someone..
just an msn contact...
who most likely doesnt read..

FUCKING HELL..
don't you get the fact that i DELETED AND BLOCKED YOU..
i DON'T wanna TALK TO YOU..
i HAVENT spoken to you AT ALL
for like nearing TWO or THREE YEARS..
and yet you add me all over AGAIN
with a DIFF EMAIL
and just say how "offended" you are that i blocked you
and you found out..
whoppiee..
fine i apologised..
and since that conversation..
where i went on a total guilt trip over blocking you...
i havent talked to you in weeks nearing months..
even tho u and i are online all the time...

dont you get the point?
i STILL dont wanna talk to you..
GO AWAY..

dont you get it?
you talk to me
and i choose not to answer the questions
and i truthfully did say that i did not wanna tell you stuff
so seriously stop asking q
i dont want anything to do with you

====================================================
ok ok
much much better
i'd like to type a full post
on actual opinions..
but since my parents are home
nite nite
*hugz*

Disgusted . . .

over and over again..
why oh why do i even find shock in it?
i mean HOW MESSED UP CAN SOME PPL GET..

ok there are really sickening ppl in the world..
but some deeds just get WAY to sickening
well ok fine SOME deeds my have a reason behind em
and you have to look at the circumstances
and both sides of the story
but sometimes just the side that is reported
just feels like its enough heard to really convict ppl
or just label them for the monster they could be OR are..

and yes..
from the single sided view of media..
watched the news this evening..
first time ever! well not really...
but first time in a long time..

anyways..
there was this story in the latter part of the news..
so not really one of those major headline things..
but still sickening...
some CARETAKER of a nursing home for the elderly
RAPED yes RAPED (ok being raped is sorta normal is

kk brb...
gotta go watch the odessy
finish later ============

and yes..
i have to get this done..
other wise yet another procrastinated post is added on to the list..
back to the news story..

Caretaker of elderly nursing home + RAPED + ...
several ELDERLY GRANDMAS!! some with a deteriorating mind =

the thought is just sickening..
over a bloody TWO month span this whole thing kept occuring
and guess what?
the elderly ladies were aged 90+
that is just plain FOUL
sexual assault towards these citizens
whom really should be receiving care and respect..
put in a nursing home..
where they're own family would be trustingly believing
their parents were in great hands..
maybe of prof staff?
and this kinda thing happens..

well thats my view...
after the presentation from the media..
but like.. if i saw other reasons..
i may side with the dude..
but really from what i see?
THERE should be ABSOLUTELY NO sympathy for him..
there are no possible reasons i can think of
for these kinds of acts..

being judgemental really..
i dunno whats up..
im actually expressing opinions more often..
or that i just noticed that i DO express my opinion quite a lot..
:S

anyways..
im just guilty over judging some ppl..
and actually either thinking it up..
or actually saying it..
but still
what they CHOOSE to do is their CHOICE..
they will always be bound to judgement FOR their choice
coz if one person doesnt express..
another will surely..

i mean how many ppl observe how many acts?
some go unseen..
some uncommented..
but still
acts will be judged..
and the fact that once observed..
the observer will form a judgement
and views of a person can change so easily
the way that ppl react..

to something new..
to something that may totally
bring down the ideals of a person..
a person's world can just collapse..
but what they choose to do after that..
how they deal can be something admired..
or something that is observed by another in total disgust..

god..
im generalising so much
but this is really my life recently
a whole series of events..
one linked to another in some way
just everything linked
spiralling around...
swirling around in my mind..
whether the action occured near me..
or i heard it second hand..
third hand even..

and what of rumours?
dont we all love them?
god im subject hopping a lot..
no wonder my lit essay had no structure -.-"

ugh well
at least something to talk bout..
or im just rushing
the need to get this done..
i have no idea personally
but somethings just have to be expressed..
sometimes often..
sometimes not at all..
but sooner or later..
what's boiled up inside..
may explode..
and what as seen as calm and collect..
may just be another savage life changing crisis...

and what of our lives?
how some simple single acts..
in a few seconds.. minuets..
hours...
our life takes another sharp turn...
everything which you worked for...
can just totally tumble..
and all those aims..
beautiful dreams and endless skies..
what of them?
nothing but dreams in the end..
when shattered..
the bits of glass..
of which we were looking through.
our lovely vision
gone.. floats away..
out of our grasp
out of our reach..
no longer part..
no longer touchable...

*sigh*
train of thought just derailed..
:(
just went and talked..
and gone now
*sigh*

my dear muse..
where art thou?
and no im not suggesting any particular person..
just a something to say to get me typing again.

and yay it worked :D

...
..
.

or not..
-.-"

*sigh*
or maybe this should be long enough...
for those who've read this far..
congrats:D

wd with the endurance of reading..
or just skimming..

kk
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

Need to Vent - - -

OK..
long time no postie..
and i really need to talk
well its not like i dont have anyone to talk to
but then again..
im wasting too much time online anyways
mainly on msn..

Oh i LOVE the new access system for the school :D
i mean you can now access ure school drives !!!
i mean HOW COOL?
haha no need to use the comps at school
to get stuff from the S drive and H drive

what's happend last few weeks?
time's drifted by
mainly coz it disappears on msn
but :S
since we've gotten back
we havent done anything together yet
but totally understandable with the whole "study"
but :S

but but buts
its all i ever say -.-"

Ball's coming up
and the places which are manifested with yr 12s
are alive with ball buzz..
ALL ball talk EVERYWHERE
i mean its exciting and all
and even i talk bout it
but when i get home..
everything just dies down
nothing...
jus sudden HUSH...

but then again
go online
and talk to scar bout ball talk if she's on
or just talk to taiwan ppl
:D

a GREAT thanx to all who sent me a bday msg
MUCH appreicated :D

===============================================

at least four days later...
yes.. that was day after my bday...
and i felt liek the post was bit incomplete
but i cant remember what i wnated to write anymores
*sigh*

first few assessments for the yr have started..
and once again...
really fallen back into old habits...
not good
><
so im gonna see if i can do a whole time managment thing..
yes ive done so many..
and they never work
and obviously i started one at the start of this term
and well...
it lasted 2 days...
><

so ive got bout half an hour before im gonna go offline
and actually start this thing called "study"

my yr recap and new yrs resolution is still coming
more of on the list of procrastination..
but thats besides the point
ill do it when my pile of hw has diminished
hehe yay im using an extended vocab to my usual talk
or ramble.. whatever it is..

right now im on a total blank of what to say
tho my title is "need to vent"
due to the fact i did need to vent
but my dear bloggies been on a bit of a silence trip
since i havent actually published anything ive ritten

the ball thing is slowly creeping up..
well more of its at the door step
and i just have to make it to the door
and open the door
i just hope its gonna be fun..
after all that non-stressful stress..
if you know what i mean?

what's crappy?
im going white...
my sister keeps going thru my hair when she's bored
and pulls out white hairs..
they're all like half white half black
what's up with me?
either stress..
malnutrition
OR usual.. thinking TOO much

you know how we had those guest speakers..
like on mon..
and some other talks we had to listen into?
i think for something's its just SO true..
but then again that sorta is their job..
or they could just be great entertainers
and feed us a load-a crap..
whatever..

i just went thru the school email today
UMAT is july 26th?
and there's also that GAP thingy..
i think i wanna do it..
but then again..
im not sure..
ah well talk to parents bout it..
but i think they'll be all
"take UMAT and go to uni next yr"
ah well
would be good experience
and the GAP thing is still open to ppl aged 25
but ill still be studying med then if i get into med ><
*sigh*

i guess its just the whole future thing..
its jus so daunting
as well as the fact that all ive always experienced
so far in my life is day in day out of school
everything is school related
i cant see me working day in day out
and not having hw
and not seeing everyone..

on that note
my sister saw some of my primary school friends
at her youth group last fri..
so yea..
interesting..
mite get a lil catch up soon
tho this fri is sorta nite b4 ball
so not sure bout going this fri
maybe sometime later..

*sigh*
i still REALLY miss the ppl i met from taiwan..
for those reading and were in Taiwan..
I MISS YOU ALL!!!

its just not the same
not seeing everyone everyday
as much as there are the fotos..
the surroundings and ppl round are not the same
so even if i do see some other ppl
its not the same..

well..
there goes a whole 26 mins..
*sigh*
no wonder i get no hw done...
time keeps flying away
k im officially going to do my hw..

maybe post some time later
have a good arvo
*hugz*

-Del-

First Week of School... YR 12 !!!

Ok 4 days since school started
not much really that much to comment on
the week just passed by

on the first day it just was a bit weird
with the whole 12 uniform
I LOVE IT!!!
whilst my sister on the first day of yr 8
was like
Lina:they should make the whole school wear that
Del:but it's the yr 12 uniform
Lina:well then make the school wear that one
and the summer dress the yr 12 uniform
-.-"
i so wouldnt have it the other way!

anyways
the reason why it was weird with the 12 uniforms?
not that i was wearing it
but every time i walked into a classroom
seeing all these 12s,
i automatically thought i was still in 11
and was thinking "shit wrong classroom"
walked out
then walked back in a while later
thinking "oops.. i AM a 12"
-.-"

but sorta got used to it now
alotho still a lil abnormal

and so the week past
and it was good to see everyone again
but it seems like theres nearly not enough time to talk
to everyone
or its just me who wants to talk too much
or still used to having ppl to talk to 24/7 thats not my sister

ah well...
um yes to the main point of actually writing this post
was really just to say that i have a bday suggestion :P
for celebration of Dia and my bday..
well actually between me and my mum
and since its just a suggestion PLZ tell me any ideas
or maybe tell me if you wanna change time
coz the real reason for this is just that
i want to just have everyone together
and just spend some time together
it is our last yr and yes we do have heaps of work to do
so tell me if anything clashes with school work

bleh.. whatever..
ok... going weekend wise this is really our times available
Feb 11-12 - Boarder's Closed Weekend
Feb 18-19 - My Cousin's b'day thing and also Chorale Camp and Dia's B'day
Feb 25-26 - Ball and day after ball

Since that's really what's happening for the upcoming w/e
mum and i were thinking
have a sleep over after the ball
and then on the sunday after the ball go watch a movie and eat together
maybe like at sizzler's innaloo and watch memoirs of a geisha?
or any other movie suggestions?
anyways that would prob be the sunday
and getting ure stuff to my house
my mum offered to collect all the bags of clothing
and what other stuff you need
to sleep over after school fri so it'll all be there
at my house when we get there after the ball
and you'd have stuff to change in to etc.

any thoughts?
would like em soon..
esp if you wanna change the date of all this
and suggestions and stuff

well i g2g now
*hugz*

Back...

Yes i am back in Perth..
a whole 2 days ago
and well i was gonna post the day i was back
but i ended up not finishing and deleting the post as usual
yes i will postpone that yr recap/new yrs resolution/ taiwan tour recap
for later
coz im sorta bz atm with the whole organising new yr stuff
since mum isnt at home neither is lina
and my dad's busy working
and since ive been back my room is all a mess all over again
and really im only postin coz of that tagging game
which i have no idea how im gonna answer with.

============================================================
The rules/procedures are as follows:
The first player of this game starts with the topic
"five weird habits of yourself,"
and people who get tagged need to write an entry
about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly.
In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged
and link to their web journals.
Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or
journal that says "You are tagged"
(assuming they take comments)
and tell them to read yours.

============================================================

1. I have weired-ed mini monologues with myself when im alone

2. I have this mini obssession.. its kinda weird..
can sorta be classeds as obsessive compulsive or whatever
but like when i use cream like body lotion or whatever
if it comes in a tub.. or like those body shop lipglosses
that you get in those mini tub things
when i use it i try to make this like dip thing in the middle
like i try to make a funnel like shape and i HATE it wehn like
you get this random dip coz some one just stuck their finger in it

3. Not really a choice of mine but at times my sister and i are
dressed in clothing either similar in some way... or EXACTLY the SAME

4. Tend to be oblivious about the majority of the stuff
that occurs anywhere int eh vicinity of my life?

5. I tend to randomly want hugs or just hug people coz i feel like it..
(well couldnt be entirely random
or weird-ed but i cbb thinkin up something else)

================================================================
Five People:
*Kura
*K
*Bear Bear (Albert/Kevin)
*Dia
*Inge

(Lol. nearly everyone on that list has K in their name
well except dia.. soz.. but ure lil bro is Kevin :P)

well there DONE at LAST
next post..
i promise i'll write :P

RA!

Guys, guess what? (No, its not Christmas again you idiot) ADELLA'S BACK! Now we can i can crash all the parties she goes to!! SCORE!! Yay,

btw HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY BABES!!!

I'm going to go to sleep now, bye ppls!

hail to delpoleness continued///

yo wassup y'all. ><
I'll start talking normally here. Anyhow I miss Adella like crazy man! (God knows what I'll do to her when I see her, lol =P)

And I await for the 24th......

(btw this was written by scarlet again if you didnt notice)

Last week

Well..
last time on the comps in the uni in taiwan
well unless i can be bothered to walk to the office tomorrow to use the comp
but highly unlikely

i cant believe the tour is over..
well not officially
since we have graduation tomoz
as well as the whole 3 day tour...
tho ronald wont be going since apparently
he's on like NEGATIVE points
lol
tho its sorta not surprising
at least he can go spend time with his relatives
do whatever he likes

god im so gonna miss everyone on this tour
:'(
waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
well obviously there's the ppl who are from perth
but i see em every w/e practically
except for sam
unless ppl change school or decide not to go anymore

god...
the time given for comp class is like nothing
since like i never seem to be able to finish the posts
before i have to go..
lol it wont be amazing to most ppl
if they see me online everynight wehn i get back :P

i've made friends on this trip
and i know that we've got em on the contact list and all
but i highly doubt we'll keep that much in touch
since as usual ive done the thing
where i stay in a close circle of ppl
so turns out i dont really know that many ppl that well
>.<
*sigh*

Well overall despite the whole schooling
im so gonna miss everyone and all the fun we had
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
not fair
im having a mini graduation thingy
at the start of my last yr in highschool
NOOOOOOOOOO

OMG
its most likely our last yr together
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NO WAY

Scar...
HOW COULD YOU ? :P
you were meant to be flooding all you liked...
but oh well
oh btw.. have fun on ure WA science thingy
since i cant go :(
since ive got my 3 day graduation trip for the tour
ah well..
maybe we'll have time after that science thing
to go out..
did we go out before i left?
i dont think so..

hmm... should i get my hair done? :P
nah my parents will kill me
and if it looks bad ill be stuck with it for the ball ><
i still cant get over the fact im in yr 12
aggghhhh

welll g2g
mite write up a full detailed recap
as well as new yrs and last yrs recap when i get back
nite nite
*hugz*

Hail to delpole'ness

Dear Adella,

It pains me very dearly at heart to realise that I have been neglecting my duty of flooding your respectable weblog! Please forgive me, my dearest! Although I shan't flood your weblog, I shall continue to cherish your dear presence when you return from wagga-wagga.

Yours sincerely,


Secretary/Treasurer of the Delpole'ness club
SCARLET NG

week 5

times flown by
test tomorrow >.<
but at least the teacher gave me an easier text
in comparison to doing the test on the whole course
since im in the lower part of A class

im sick >.<
it was an upper respiratory tract infection ><
well according to to the doctor
at this clinic outside the uni
since apparently the doctors in the uni suck
coz apparently all they give you is sleeping pills

g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

week 3 and new yr.. another start

well answering qs first
off the tagboard
since i cbb to tag so many times

gar...
scenery in taiwan
havent really seen that much of it
since i spend most of the time in the uni
and also there is the whole i cbb
to look out the window
in the bus when we go out
since they play movies in the bus
so im just watching them or talking

scar
dun miss speaking canto or eng
since i spend most of my time out of class
speaking canto and eng
since heaps of ppl speak..

yep it was those things which you write your wishes on
so pretty
coz we spent time putting them together
and all..

happy belated xmas everyone
and happy new yr..

i had actually typed up a post before
on tues during computer class
but the post was lost since some1 turned off my comp
so im in the office now typin up

there is never anyone online >.<
well on tues nights that is
and mona.. ure off watching tv :(

so how's everyone?

for xmas..
had an xmas party down here
nothing much..
majority of the ppl were from our tour
and the rest were some random uni students
we had this whole thing where they had ppl teach us to dance
and we got partners by just drawing outta a bag of balloons

the dude i got was some uni student
who was half taiwanese half american
who later on that nite confessed his love for his gf
it was so cute..
like he had this dog with balloons tied on its back

neways

g2g now
since goin to taipei 101 for new yr's eve
nite
*hugz*

lost count of days.. but week 2..

hey..
computer class again
and really nothin much happening cept class
went to some small town on sun
and the rest of the other time i can barely remember
ive been to the small night market nearby...

umm
got bout 4 and half weeks to go..
just cant believe its only been 1 week..
since like ive said its like ive been here for ages

seriously nothing to talk bout..

oh for those who want my number atm
its 0917388954
well thats what it is over here
not sure of its what it really is calling from home..

um..
talkin bout sunday
it was sorta like an excursion
went to a village where we learnt bout its train history
visited a mine/museum thing
looked at some of the scenery
and also launched sky lantern things
like they were mini hot air balloons
but like you write ure wishes on them
and they get sent up...
sorta like wishing on a shooting star

um...
sorta tired these days
well more of the lethargic..
how's everyone doing?
gar.. have fun in nz..
dia in brisbane ? :S
and mona and scar in perth..

ive spent 1 and half hours here
NOTHING to do
you'd think with the reduction
in usage of computers i'd be desparate bout using it
ah well
maybe just not really anyone to talk to

ugh...
so annoying
nothing to talk bout
blah blah
wlkaefwaoe;iawh4tfo;aw4ehweairhgWEA4g

ever bored of my blog?
YESS..
just so repetitive..

hmmm
ne wais
bye
nite nite
*hugz*

Day 3

another day past..
learnt how to play mahjong :P
so far havent really learnt much in the ways useful
ah well..

had the opening ceremony
and also had the intros..
well the official ones
so actually had to stand up and speak
*shrudders*
dun wanna go thru that again
i still really hate public speaking
but then again who doesnt?

Seems like ive been here for ages
but then again
its only the 3rd day
and i dunno
just the whole routine thing
i dunno
maybe i just like routine
everything just takes so long
and like bleh

i dunno i feel like saying something
but it always feels like theres some1
behind me watching..
liek it jus feels so unnatural

i got into the top class btw
Class A :P
go me..

there is like no one online
and i have another hour here
unless i ask for permission to go back to the dorms
but theres nothing to do back there
i wanna play sports
but the gym etc is all taken up by the uni students
some ppl are out playin bball atm
but like id rather not join

me and my room mates were in this class earliest
and since everyone arrived
its just gotten so busy and loud
its just weird
im prob just used to having the whole area to myself

dun really have much to talk bout
the temp round here is ok
cold but not freezing as ppl said it would be
i wonder how my bro is doing in class?
ah well maybe i worry too much

theres such a range in ages of ppl here
i dunno
like theres the youngest as i think is 14
even goes 21+
well i think thats it..

yesterday we had aerobics and yoga
but it was sorta weird since it was in chinese
ah well
same pain tho..
so no difference there
havent really heard from anyone
other than mona who's online every night

ne ways
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

Hi from taiwan - Day 2

well im in taiwan now obviously
just a quick note to say hi
if you wanna talk..
i'm online every tue night
or at least i should be..

the flight was ok..
nothing really special
but my expectations were
sorta to be like the school boarding house
it's sorta round bout similar
but sorta like below my expectation
i dunno its like..
well main thing is
they dont have irons..
and i dunno
im sorta used to having and iron to use
so it'll just end up being sorta like
either drying the clothes by hang drying
to avoid creases
or spin dry and wear them creased

i dunno
maybe ive just made a
huge deal outta this no iron thing
majority of things is alright
i just had my placement test
and well there will only be 2 classes
which sorta makes it obvious which one ill be in
since ppl either cant speak/understand/read/write/chinese
OR...
they can

umm...
some ppl are just too loud
and the rest are pretty nice
of the food i dun really know since ive only had dinner
i sorta g2g now
nite nite
*hugz*

G'day

G'day folks, I do believe you all recognise who I am. I am the legendary Scarlet wahahahahah. As you all know, Adella is flying to wagga-wagga (aka Taiwan) at precisely 1am; 13 December 05 , and she shall be away from us for a dreary six weeks.

Wahahahahahaha I am the king of delpole's blog!!

fare thee well :D

well goin tomorrow nite..
wishin everyone a happy hols if i dun blog again
and well
maybe scar mite blog..
since she asked to..
and well i sent her an invite..
so might hear from her..

btw scar..
if you do..
plz dont change any of the previous posts..
since i dun get how this add members thing works :S
*hugz*

4 days left...

well 4 days till taiwan
and im not ready
theres so much to do
and such little time
but i really cant be stuffed
i feel all lethargic and stuff..

hmm..
funny eh?
my dad these days is like
"dw as long as you get in UWA"
like trying to lower the pressure and all
but tehn again
he jus gave me this thing a few days ago.
its like a CD for the comp..
and its..
"interactive medical encyclopedia"
hmm..
doesnt matter what course eh?
on the up.
it'll help me for h bio next yr

my sister's graduated yr 7
yr 8 next yr..
scary huh?
i seriously cant imagine seeing her so much
well actually i noe how its like
i mean being in same primary and all
but i think i forgot what its like
and now?
have to adapt all over again
well not that i dun see her at lunch once in a while
but bleh

last few days ive really been on the whole
"emotional rollercoaster"
i mean seriously
ive had HUGE moodswings
esp yesterday
i think i managed to go from happy to crying
and being pissed off
in like 2 mins
and it happened so much

i seriously have NEVER had such huge
difference in emotions
a mean i may be pissed off all day
or jus be happy
but not like huge changes
that happen so frequently
ah well

anyways
thats the update for now
byes..
if i have time
ill try update as much as possible
in taiwan
*hugz*

counsel..

hmm whenever there isnt much to talk bout
and i feel like blogging
its always so hard to start
but there i go
ive started
now i can start going off on my random tangents of nothing-ness

went to ah-gong's house today
for phoebe's full month
well she's now officially 1 month old
doesnt feel like a month ago when i found out
i had another baby cousin
but then again
trying to actualli remember the morning i found out
seems like 2 yrs ago or something
:S

nm much happend
coz we sorta came late as usual...

things were as usual..
all the kids in the living room
whilst the adults were practically shouting at each other
in the kitchen/dining room
and well there was the whole
"you should study *insert uni course* it'll be a good job"
OR
"you should become a *insert some high paying job*"
-.-"
im still worrying bout my subject choices
not bout my future career..
well ok my subject choices should be
directed at some part of my career
but not at a family gathering >.<



====================================================
EXAMS has fini
YAY

but now im still stuck with 2 days off..
which im glad of..
and i wanna go out
but i noe its not likely tomorrow
bleh there goes one day

you know..
its realy stressing sometimes
you feel like discussing things
but then again finding the right person
for talkin bout each topic i feel like talkin bout
its jus so annoying
you wanna talk bout something
but then again you want em to understand
some1 who has the similar thing
like if they dont understand
you mite as well be talking to a bloody brick wall
or how bout..
even a bloody pet?

its weird
when your life is divided into all these little worlds
of your own..
little worlds which you are a part of
but then again not every1 you know is in
life would be easy if all of them were a lil connected
but anything stuffs up
and all of htem collapse
but in disconnection
anything happesn to one
you can seek resort in another
hiding may not be the answer
but in the time it takes to heal
somteimes its worth the avoidance

===========================================
not in mood for talking..
tho all i can say..
is i duno i just feel so empty
and hollow

nite nite
*hugz*

Wishes...

Well..
as of a few posts ago..
cant remember how long..
but if not
ppl or should of heard me
talkin bout wanting an older brother..

and well in relation to my msn nick atm
[Wishes can come true :P]
well i sorta did get an older brother today :P

its my grandpa's sister's grandson..
so sorta my cous but not exactly
and he's older than me.. by like 1 yr :D
so im happy now :D
it'll sorta be the closest
i can get to havin an older bro i think
and he seems pretty nice
but he dont speak eng
or canto >.<
so the catch is sorta the language barrier
i have to actually use my mando
and he speaks teo chew fluently
and i only understand a few words
of which i can only say
like some swear thing :S

hmm
i love my cousins so much
i guess i am in quite a close knit family thing
but its HUGE
ah well im lucky then :D
VERY lucky that is

you know i was contemplating the other day
like you know how some ppl say
happiness is sorta inversely proportional
to the amount of wealth you have
and i think
its like
ok first thing would be for the hard working ppl
theres the whole no time
coz ure busy trying to get money
and then also
with the next generation
wouldnt that mean
that if spoilt by parents
with all materialistic things they need
its like they always have this wealth to fall back on
therefore they dont really have to worry bout
whether or not they're gonna fail in life
coz it seems like therez always something there
the back up which makes us secure
and would mean that we would put less effort in
in comparison to those who strive to rise out of what they are
to reach something
the goal to attain something that is like hard to attain
means you have to work hard and put heaps of effort in
and if attained it seems more valuable
than if soemthing you gain is simple
like its given
you think it less worthy once you have it

like having a trophy would mean more if
you had worked so hard and competed and actually won it
in comparison to jus buying it from some shop
to be tailor made for you
or like just rigging it so you will win
like through cheating or soemthing
the trophy wouldnt be as valuble in ure own eyes
since it is something that has no memory of hardship behind it

so like
if you have more wealth..
then as a child of parents whom worked hard for the money
and then if the child is love by the parents heaps
and spoilt as much as possible
then if they want something esp materialistic
then they get it..
what would the child learn from that?
they wouldnt do any thing
dont work hard at all
and still get what they want
and then in the end get nowhere
hmm why does this sorta slightly say bout my family?
:P
anyways
like soon the child is gonna be bored
and not interested with material things
there really isnt that much in them
since they prob have something the same
(unless they're totally gullible towards the media and marketing stuff)
and wont need it
what they still turn to
or want would still be simplistic
love, caring, friendship..
just simple things which everyone can enjoy
no matter what context
(yay i used the word "context")
or maybe not.
since there's still some stuff in some countries
that might not be as ideal as everything i see
in the whole slight eurocentric views
:S

which would that be one of the slight downfalls
in each of the dynasties in china?
ok totally offtopic
but like they always fell after some generations
i guess you could say that its just one of the possible factors
like the princes would always have easy
apparently
jus making TOTAL assumptions here
(since im prob out when it comes to asian history)
and then when the duty of actually ruling came
they became so selfcentred and pleasure seeking
since nothing materialistic could seem to satisfy them?
like they would have seen silk all their life
and gold and other what not
so in finding things that would amuse them
they would start to neglect the state
and sooner or later they brought the state down
by the simple neglect and ruling coz ppl
just up-rose and took over..
or won battles and stuff..
:s

you know
i think i would possibly like debating
if i didnt hate public speaking so much
and not the whole possibility of arguing
bout something that is against ure personal belief
like i actually expressed something today
and it felt good

maybe i just love the feeling of feeling smart :P
not that i am is the thing
but who doesnt enjoy feeling superior in comparison to the inferior
but then again with superiority
always comes with some form of responsibility
or expectations of something
UGH

ah well
life aint perfect
but sometimes things do happen

few weeks till taiwan
it just seems so unrealistic
and hopefully ill update as much as possible
tho i doubt it
since i recently realised
we're living in a uni IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
well not exactly nowhere
but its like rural
>.< which lowers the chances of having net cafe
(apparently)

hmm what else to talk bout?
actually
gonna sleep
have family foto day tomoz.. (my dad's side)
its also pheobe's full month thing :P
that is she's 1 month old now
so nite
*hugz*

Love <3

You know..
ive just realised something else?
i rarely love much..
well ok i LOVE music
and i do LOVE someother things..
or at least i hope i do..

but love is something i dont really express much
like i love my sister and i love my parents
but its seriously something i dont vocalise
fine.
so you dont have to vocalise everything
but then again think of all the tragedies happening today
or at least all the tragedies fed to us by the media
think bout the bombings and stuff
if some1 you loved died..
would you feel bad for not letting them know you loved them
for one last time when you last saw them?
or jus worried the fact that the ppl you love
have suddenly left your lives??

and i noticed
well that is recently
i dont use the word "love" much..
or do i?
(meh something to talk bout in these exam times)

like im fine with saying love
in mando..
i say to my parents
i love them everynite in mando before i go to bed
but i just..
i dont say love in canto.. :S
and i dont say love in english either
like well the fact that the main person
who i can say i love you to in english is my sister
could be a main factor
but it feels weird to say i love somebody
in canto or english
fine i can type out "love"
but then again its something that i dont generally
think about or even discuss..
hmm maybe a few times but hey..
still not a word i use daily
(well if i do..
i dunno maybe i say it unconsciously..
as in without realising it..
not as in i say it whilst im unconsious)

ah well
that was a random ranmble..
for no particluar reason
but i feel like talkin these days
:D
maybe its the fact that the only ppl i talk to
are to ppl i see just like 30 mins before exams each day
followed by 3 hours of silence
then going home
in which the process
im struck quiet since my mum's listening
to her viet news radio in the car
(AND at home)
and drops me off
im home alone
and the only possible source of talk
would be via msn
which btw ppl dont forget my fone fear..
i HATE fones
anyways
besides the point
THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO
my sister comes home
and she closes the door to her room
and tells me to get out wen im in there
plus the fact that both my parents and my sister
now have a reason to be asking me why im talking to them
(why aren't you studying at the current moment?
you should be studying not wasting ure time talking to us)

hmm
another example
yesterday:
went out to the bank with mum
met up with dad who was gonna go to ct with mum and maybe me
then dad changes his mind
Dad:NO you should be home studying for exams
Me:but i wanna spend time with you
Dad:we have plenty of time to spend together
you have no time before exams
me: -.-"

ok fine. its jus the ct
and it IS exam time when i should be studying
BUT I WANNA GO OUT
im sick of facing the walls of my room
for christ's sake i have a max attention span
of an hour of fully or half heart-ed-ly studying
before i go read soemthing else

there is no one to talk to
and everytime i turn to talk to someone
either they cant (exam, work, school)
or they tell me to study
UGHHHHHH

*frustrated*

maybe chinese tomorrow will give me some time to talk
WAIT..
its not like i talk to them that much anyways !
-.-"
GRRR

the only ppl i get to talk to
is when i go to the resto
and majority of them speak viet!!!
>.<
i understand but hello
i dun wanna talk viet when i cant talk to anyone else
and most of the time it takes me 10 mins to think up a sentence

*annoyed*

anyways got caught by dad online jus then
so betta go
nite
*hugz*

Post #259

why is it that i love pracs..
but i SUCK at physics pracs?
this doesnt make sense...
or the fact that there are no instructions..
ah well
i think i did pretty well with the h bio
and the lit oral was delayed
since not enough class time today
but that means i have to do it tomorrow
which is still bad coz that sense of forboding
is SO annoying

====================================================

miss my bloggie...

ok exams in 3 days approx :S

done minimal study
which is BAD
and not recommended but i cant concentrate
>.<
i mean at sometimes i even start checkin up wats on the NEWS
thats how bored i am

ah well back to my study..

Update on my Life

*sigh*

atm im having a failing attempt at studying..
ive taken out my stuff
in attempts at studying like a billion times
but everytime i get distracted by something or another
i think ive concluded that
the lighting in my room isnt bright enough

on top of all of that my sister has friends over
next door..
and i can hear them TALKING and PLAYING MUSIC LOUDLY

i lost it again on fri nite..
well that is lost my mind
i mean i regret it
but it made me feel so much better on sat mornin
but then again i feel bad
and took it out on my sister
by sorta screaming and shouting at her..
and she jus ran outta the room
and i jus continued screaming and crying..
for like the next 20 mins
until my parents came home
which i think was coz my sista called

==================================
well
days gone past..
and ive had 2 assessments over and done with

tho surfing the net i came across this

Big Brother is about to become monkey business.
Inspired by the television reality show, Czech public radio and television broadcasters have announced that on November 7, they will begin airing a new show that will follow the lives of four gorillas living together at the Prague Zoo.

The show, to be called Odhaleni (Discovery), will see the primates -- one male, two females and one baby -- battle it out for a grand prize of 12 melons, a delicacy for gorillas.

"What the gorillas do is up to them," said Prague Zoo gorilla trainer Marek Zdansky.

Czech Television will set up 15 cameras to monitor the gorillas, and viewers and listeners of the show will be able to vote via phone messages (SMS) for their favorite contestant.

Proceeds from the show will go to helping save the wild gorilla population in Africa, organizers said.

when ppl start turning to gorillas
for forms of reality tv
its really the time they should stop altogether
i mean there is something called the "discovery channel"
ok..
so there are things called circuses which have been running for YONKS
which include animals as forms of entertainment
but like if they're resorting to this..
and ok its for a good cause
but still
if you wanna see apes and monkeys
GO TO THE ZOO

it would do you the good of some exercise
there's FRESH air
and you STILL help the apes
donate money and ADOPT one
instead of sitting infront of the box...

on the up for today
i got 100% for my chem prac ^^

tho on the otherhand i found a fear of mine
which would be confrontation in general
i can be truthful
but then again i can lie
or i jus avoid it totally
and end up in a huge mess
or some misunderstanding or another
WHY cant i keep my mouth shut at times?
or at least choose my words more carefully

oh well
what can you say?

nite nite
*hugz*

Heather Lamont... last one *tear*

Well...
there goes the last Heather Lamont ill ever attend
as a student..

i wish i had entered more stuff
*sigh*
and its not like i got any placings
:(

well i hope i get a house point
for getting second in debating (my team did)
(chair person i dun debate)
out of two -.-"
and also our tute entry got 3rd
and helpin out as section leader in textiles n craft

i mean..
jus need 1 more house point..
and then ill get a FULL house colour ^^
not one of those half colours..
but i havent even gotten a half colour ever before :(
always missed by 1 or 2 points
but then again u only need 3 to get colour or half colour
depending on yr

my poetry and fotos got nothing..
but then again..
there were a HELL of a LOT of PIX and POEMS

the only thing that annoys me
is that some fotography entries
have the entrant who is "supposed" to take the foto
IN the foto... with BOTH their arms showing
so HOW the HELL did they take the pic?
*shakes head*

i wanna vent bit more bout heather lamont
but i really cbb
coz i cnat actually remmeber what i wanted to say
and plus i feel liek readingg
so bye
*hugz*

Annabel steals mobiles O.o

well as the title of the post suggests..
im assuming a connection
between Annabel (our pet dalmation)
and my fone going missing..

well thing is it happend so long ago
it was like back when i was like in yr 6 or 7
we were all gonna go to the beach
and before we left the house
i forgot to get a towel
so i left my fone on the seat of the car
and went to get stuff
whilst every1 else was still in the house gettin ready
and left the car door open

after the session at the beach
i noticed my mobile was missing
so i assumed i lost it at the beach :(

then this sun...
whilst my dad was cutting down this tree
(bird's paradise)
well more of giving it a HUGE hair cut
(looks like this stump with 2 leaves sticking out)
and he came across the fone that i had lost so LONG ago..
the only conclusion?
a) my sister was on a rampage of hers
and decided to get me back by getting rid of my fone
b)Annabel stole it..
and hid it there

the second though unlikely under normal circumstances
seem highly likely
there are bite or more of HUGE scratch marks on it
which could have been damage caused by her teeth
when biting it
or she found it under that tree later on..
but still evidence points to annabel
since no 1 was outside at that time
and the car door was open...
ah well
another thing to add onto the
list of unexpected things bout belle

*she LOVES mandarins
*and most other fruits
*she FARTS
*she eats the roll fillings
and leaves the bread
*she eats the spring roll fillings
and leaves the rice paper
*she allegedly "took" my mobile

:S

belle is SO CUTE THO ^^

==============================================
(cont)
the yr 12s have left already
well yesterday
they didnt have "muck up day"
instead they had "fun" day
but the satirical and video
and formal assembly were teh same
i think :S
(since i had to leave early due to music lesson)
the satirical really wasnt that funny
and in p 1 and 2 the prank announcements over the PA
was pretty saddening..
i mean there wasnt an inch of humour in them

watching the yr 12 video really hit me
like i felt this whole realisation that its
NEXT YR
any1 in the film could be me next yr
i just didnt want to admit
that so fast that 4 yrs have past
and once again
im thrown out into uncertainty
the whole insecurity of new things
the breaking up and moving on

i mean
how likely will any of us will stay together?
ok
so we can stay on the optimistic side and say
yes we'll keep in touch
but how likely is that?
we dun even call each other?

we rarely go out together
and even if we do
there is taht whole organising thing to go thru

ok we could TRY
but sooner or later
thrown into a new lifestyle
we'll get "TOO BUSY"
we forget this and that
and with all the new burdens of work
or uni
or tafe..
or whatever we end up going to
its jus not going to be the same
we wont be seeing each other at least once a day
or even once a week

i noe its a pessimistic view
but how realistic would it be to say
that we will be as close as we are now

=============================================
ok
4th continuation of this post..
although its the 3rd official part..
i lost the last bit due to comp stuffin up
and recover post didnt actually save it -.-"

weekends gone past..
and i had my vocal recital..
it went ok..

and had my voice lesson today
and she said i did "exceptionally well"
im jus wondering if she's tellin the truth
or jus givin the whole confidence boost
with heaps of reassurance that im doing well
like she seems to do
but hey
voice lessons are really an up for me
i actually enjoy em
:D

=================================================
like my 5th continuation of posts..
mite as well turn it into a mini series..

i dunno whats up with me today..
either im sick
or like im OVER stressed bout prob nothing
or i feel lonely
or ...
i dunno

and i mean even during h bio said my face was red
and its been liek this the whole avo i think:S
not sure but it feels like it
am i overheating? O.o
but that doesnt make sense

i could have a temperature
i dunno

its HEATHER LAMONT tomorrow
my last one *crys*

well, scarlet, steph cullinford, shree and i
are section leaders for textiles n craft
nithya, gar and chewy are section leaders for photography

ive entered quite a few things this yr
mainly photos and "attempts" at poetry
as well as debating..
where im jus reserve/timekeeper for the trojan team
which i hope i will remain as timekeeper

stayed an hour after school today
to help display the stuff in my section
there were SO many BLOODY ENTERIES for CARDS
which usually is empty
coz most ppl dont realise such a section exists
has suddenly got a BOOM in entries
ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SOMETHING ENTRIES
that is 160 something
UGH
and the majority of them were like MINIMAL effort
eg. one had a smiley face and thank you on it
THATS IT

marking the names off CARD after CARD after CARD
i dun wanna see another card in my life

and SO many ppl
jus randomly entered stuff they made years ago
-.-"
HOW POINTLESS???
i mean there was even one of those PASTA necklaces
like those pasta things you make when ure in preprimary?
there was one of those

GRRR

anyways
gonna go to sleep now
nite nite
*hugz*
(and actually publishin it AT LAST)

friendships...

why is it..
that i never seem to have any relationships with ANYONE..
that isnt based on something more than school
or something common like htat?
like eg. if we're talking school..
once school's over...
then there's like zilch in common?
the only thing to talk about WAS school
and since its nolonger available to talk bout..
then thats it..
sorta the END of the friendship..
not that i dun try to keep it up..
but ppl jus fade outta the picture..

or maybe its jus im not much of a conversationalist..

===============================================
ok that was like 5 days ago..
im trying to finish of posts that i start now
like to have it as a good habit
to finish things you start off.
tho i doubt its gonna last long

tho y do i tend to finish the posts 5 days later.

well
jus got back from the rivercruise..
THE main social event of the yr..
well thinkin back i didnt really take it seriously
concluded from my lack of organisation for ANYTHING

*sigh*

well the nite went well
with quite a number of "fun" songs :P
eg. ppl had requested YMCA as per usual
tho there was a request of "rock a by a bear"
from the wiggles by some1
who ever it was at least it was still fun
brings back childhood memories :D

the dress which i collected yesterday
since it had to be ordered
coz teh only size left in the shop
was a LIL too loose at the back..
so ordered 1 size down..
and during the WHOLE of the nite
the back was STILL falling -.-"
at least i didnt take the 1 in the the shop
but still
so annoying..
coz i danced then would have to stop
just to pull the back up

mona and kev were So cute..
tho the didnt seem to intereact much :(
no pdas..
tho im not sure if i would like to have witnessed any
in the first place..
they did slow dance once tho :P
well for bout half a song

and spent the rest of the nite with us..
with occational sitting off and i assume talking..
since it was in full view of loadsa ppl

sweet and all
but it was annoying that he was there
it felt a bit awkward :S
soz mona

like i felt bad or a lil guilty
that like i was dancing like that
in front of a guy..
ok..
i dance like that most of the time without care..
but usually the guys dun matter.
coz im neva gonna see em again
but kevin.. dunno how long he's gonna be round :S

my feet hurt now..
lol prob from all that jumping IN HEELS
i cant believe that we actually made the boat ROCK
like it literally bounced off the water
the front of the boat that is

i did see jono and wee dher..
and bonnie got in a funny incedent..
tho im not sure of exactly what happend
some guys managed a near crowd surfing
until they were pulled down by this sailor dude

in total..
it was fun
tho woulda been nicer to have it LONGER
and also maybe a larger dance floor
tho this boat in comparsion to the 1 we took on the IS
was LARGER with tables of 6 and chairs on each side
and they should have let us go out the front of the boat
but it was blocked off :(

the $1300 dress... was HELL SHORT
-.-"
what is the point in buyin somethin SO expensive
made of SO LITTLE cloth -.-"
i think she was TOTALLY ripped off
it didnt even look that good
but oh well..
her choice in what she spends her money on
i jus find it a WASTE of the money AND dress
and its highly unlikely she'll wear it again

*sigh*
during some of the rc
i sorta wished i actually had a partner
but tehn again
i noe id still hate the awkwardness of it
coz think bout mona and kevin
and they see each other reasonably often
well think so :S
i mean its either dance
OR
sit and talk
and how could you talk for THREE hours straight?
well it is possible
but bleh
if you dunno the person itd still be awkward

ugh..
what about the ball later on?

oh well
can always go without
and not have to entertain some random guy :D

no1 really blogs anymore..
but then again its coz of blockages
and also the whole
dun have time coz i should be studying
but hey
i find it reasonably relaxing at times
well sorta more of mind babble
jus less thinking and trapped-ness
in mind of thoughts

*yawns*

my feet hurt
:(
but then its my fault

i stuffed up my chem test today >.<
and i rememeber earlier today
i was like "yay its the rc tonight"
and now its like
"HUH? its over already?"

well i betta go sleep soon
coz im gettin tired AND a headache
i assume from dehydration

there seems like nothin to talk bout
(btw jus typin
coz im waitin for my comp to finish scanning)

my parents must be SO relieved taht im not goin to afters
and plus i would still be their "innocent lil baby girl"

like during the avo wen we were gettin ready
i could sorta see the worry-ness
and sorta sadness in mum *Sigh*
i sorta started feeling guilty

its scary how time flies
i can still remember teh start of the yr
in term 1 when we were talkin
bout how EVERY1 was talkin bout the rc nonstop
and now its OVER

we also had house farewell as well
and we sung "hear you me"
but edited the words
so that "may angels lead you in"
to "my angels guide your way"
and i was singing it
and i nearly started crying
i mean
its so emotional the fact
that time passes LIKE THAT

ne waiz i cant be stuffed
waitin for the scan to fini
cancel it and sleep
nite nite
*hugz*