Heather Lamont... last one *tear*

Well...
there goes the last Heather Lamont ill ever attend
as a student..

i wish i had entered more stuff
*sigh*
and its not like i got any placings
:(

well i hope i get a house point
for getting second in debating (my team did)
(chair person i dun debate)
out of two -.-"
and also our tute entry got 3rd
and helpin out as section leader in textiles n craft

i mean..
jus need 1 more house point..
and then ill get a FULL house colour ^^
not one of those half colours..
but i havent even gotten a half colour ever before :(
always missed by 1 or 2 points
but then again u only need 3 to get colour or half colour
depending on yr

my poetry and fotos got nothing..
but then again..
there were a HELL of a LOT of PIX and POEMS

the only thing that annoys me
is that some fotography entries
have the entrant who is "supposed" to take the foto
IN the foto... with BOTH their arms showing
so HOW the HELL did they take the pic?
*shakes head*

i wanna vent bit more bout heather lamont
but i really cbb
coz i cnat actually remmeber what i wanted to say
and plus i feel liek readingg
so bye
*hugz*

Annabel steals mobiles O.o

well as the title of the post suggests..
im assuming a connection
between Annabel (our pet dalmation)
and my fone going missing..

well thing is it happend so long ago
it was like back when i was like in yr 6 or 7
we were all gonna go to the beach
and before we left the house
i forgot to get a towel
so i left my fone on the seat of the car
and went to get stuff
whilst every1 else was still in the house gettin ready
and left the car door open

after the session at the beach
i noticed my mobile was missing
so i assumed i lost it at the beach :(

then this sun...
whilst my dad was cutting down this tree
(bird's paradise)
well more of giving it a HUGE hair cut
(looks like this stump with 2 leaves sticking out)
and he came across the fone that i had lost so LONG ago..
the only conclusion?
a) my sister was on a rampage of hers
and decided to get me back by getting rid of my fone
b)Annabel stole it..
and hid it there

the second though unlikely under normal circumstances
seem highly likely
there are bite or more of HUGE scratch marks on it
which could have been damage caused by her teeth
when biting it
or she found it under that tree later on..
but still evidence points to annabel
since no 1 was outside at that time
and the car door was open...
ah well
another thing to add onto the
list of unexpected things bout belle

*she LOVES mandarins
*and most other fruits
*she FARTS
*she eats the roll fillings
and leaves the bread
*she eats the spring roll fillings
and leaves the rice paper
*she allegedly "took" my mobile

:S

belle is SO CUTE THO ^^

==============================================
(cont)
the yr 12s have left already
well yesterday
they didnt have "muck up day"
instead they had "fun" day
but the satirical and video
and formal assembly were teh same
i think :S
(since i had to leave early due to music lesson)
the satirical really wasnt that funny
and in p 1 and 2 the prank announcements over the PA
was pretty saddening..
i mean there wasnt an inch of humour in them

watching the yr 12 video really hit me
like i felt this whole realisation that its
NEXT YR
any1 in the film could be me next yr
i just didnt want to admit
that so fast that 4 yrs have past
and once again
im thrown out into uncertainty
the whole insecurity of new things
the breaking up and moving on

i mean
how likely will any of us will stay together?
ok
so we can stay on the optimistic side and say
yes we'll keep in touch
but how likely is that?
we dun even call each other?

we rarely go out together
and even if we do
there is taht whole organising thing to go thru

ok we could TRY
but sooner or later
thrown into a new lifestyle
we'll get "TOO BUSY"
we forget this and that
and with all the new burdens of work
or uni
or tafe..
or whatever we end up going to
its jus not going to be the same
we wont be seeing each other at least once a day
or even once a week

i noe its a pessimistic view
but how realistic would it be to say
that we will be as close as we are now

=============================================
ok
4th continuation of this post..
although its the 3rd official part..
i lost the last bit due to comp stuffin up
and recover post didnt actually save it -.-"

weekends gone past..
and i had my vocal recital..
it went ok..

and had my voice lesson today
and she said i did "exceptionally well"
im jus wondering if she's tellin the truth
or jus givin the whole confidence boost
with heaps of reassurance that im doing well
like she seems to do
but hey
voice lessons are really an up for me
i actually enjoy em
:D

=================================================
like my 5th continuation of posts..
mite as well turn it into a mini series..

i dunno whats up with me today..
either im sick
or like im OVER stressed bout prob nothing
or i feel lonely
or ...
i dunno

and i mean even during h bio said my face was red
and its been liek this the whole avo i think:S
not sure but it feels like it
am i overheating? O.o
but that doesnt make sense

i could have a temperature
i dunno

its HEATHER LAMONT tomorrow
my last one *crys*

well, scarlet, steph cullinford, shree and i
are section leaders for textiles n craft
nithya, gar and chewy are section leaders for photography

ive entered quite a few things this yr
mainly photos and "attempts" at poetry
as well as debating..
where im jus reserve/timekeeper for the trojan team
which i hope i will remain as timekeeper

stayed an hour after school today
to help display the stuff in my section
there were SO many BLOODY ENTERIES for CARDS
which usually is empty
coz most ppl dont realise such a section exists
has suddenly got a BOOM in entries
ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SOMETHING ENTRIES
that is 160 something
UGH
and the majority of them were like MINIMAL effort
eg. one had a smiley face and thank you on it
THATS IT

marking the names off CARD after CARD after CARD
i dun wanna see another card in my life

and SO many ppl
jus randomly entered stuff they made years ago
-.-"
HOW POINTLESS???
i mean there was even one of those PASTA necklaces
like those pasta things you make when ure in preprimary?
there was one of those

GRRR

anyways
gonna go to sleep now
nite nite
*hugz*
(and actually publishin it AT LAST)

friendships...

why is it..
that i never seem to have any relationships with ANYONE..
that isnt based on something more than school
or something common like htat?
like eg. if we're talking school..
once school's over...
then there's like zilch in common?
the only thing to talk about WAS school
and since its nolonger available to talk bout..
then thats it..
sorta the END of the friendship..
not that i dun try to keep it up..
but ppl jus fade outta the picture..

or maybe its jus im not much of a conversationalist..

===============================================
ok that was like 5 days ago..
im trying to finish of posts that i start now
like to have it as a good habit
to finish things you start off.
tho i doubt its gonna last long

tho y do i tend to finish the posts 5 days later.

well
jus got back from the rivercruise..
THE main social event of the yr..
well thinkin back i didnt really take it seriously
concluded from my lack of organisation for ANYTHING

*sigh*

well the nite went well
with quite a number of "fun" songs :P
eg. ppl had requested YMCA as per usual
tho there was a request of "rock a by a bear"
from the wiggles by some1
who ever it was at least it was still fun
brings back childhood memories :D

the dress which i collected yesterday
since it had to be ordered
coz teh only size left in the shop
was a LIL too loose at the back..
so ordered 1 size down..
and during the WHOLE of the nite
the back was STILL falling -.-"
at least i didnt take the 1 in the the shop
but still
so annoying..
coz i danced then would have to stop
just to pull the back up

mona and kev were So cute..
tho the didnt seem to intereact much :(
no pdas..
tho im not sure if i would like to have witnessed any
in the first place..
they did slow dance once tho :P
well for bout half a song

and spent the rest of the nite with us..
with occational sitting off and i assume talking..
since it was in full view of loadsa ppl

sweet and all
but it was annoying that he was there
it felt a bit awkward :S
soz mona

like i felt bad or a lil guilty
that like i was dancing like that
in front of a guy..
ok..
i dance like that most of the time without care..
but usually the guys dun matter.
coz im neva gonna see em again
but kevin.. dunno how long he's gonna be round :S

my feet hurt now..
lol prob from all that jumping IN HEELS
i cant believe that we actually made the boat ROCK
like it literally bounced off the water
the front of the boat that is

i did see jono and wee dher..
and bonnie got in a funny incedent..
tho im not sure of exactly what happend
some guys managed a near crowd surfing
until they were pulled down by this sailor dude

in total..
it was fun
tho woulda been nicer to have it LONGER
and also maybe a larger dance floor
tho this boat in comparsion to the 1 we took on the IS
was LARGER with tables of 6 and chairs on each side
and they should have let us go out the front of the boat
but it was blocked off :(

the $1300 dress... was HELL SHORT
-.-"
what is the point in buyin somethin SO expensive
made of SO LITTLE cloth -.-"
i think she was TOTALLY ripped off
it didnt even look that good
but oh well..
her choice in what she spends her money on
i jus find it a WASTE of the money AND dress
and its highly unlikely she'll wear it again

*sigh*
during some of the rc
i sorta wished i actually had a partner
but tehn again
i noe id still hate the awkwardness of it
coz think bout mona and kevin
and they see each other reasonably often
well think so :S
i mean its either dance
OR
sit and talk
and how could you talk for THREE hours straight?
well it is possible
but bleh
if you dunno the person itd still be awkward

ugh..
what about the ball later on?

oh well
can always go without
and not have to entertain some random guy :D

no1 really blogs anymore..
but then again its coz of blockages
and also the whole
dun have time coz i should be studying
but hey
i find it reasonably relaxing at times
well sorta more of mind babble
jus less thinking and trapped-ness
in mind of thoughts

*yawns*

my feet hurt
:(
but then its my fault

i stuffed up my chem test today >.<
and i rememeber earlier today
i was like "yay its the rc tonight"
and now its like
"HUH? its over already?"

well i betta go sleep soon
coz im gettin tired AND a headache
i assume from dehydration

there seems like nothin to talk bout
(btw jus typin
coz im waitin for my comp to finish scanning)

my parents must be SO relieved taht im not goin to afters
and plus i would still be their "innocent lil baby girl"

like during the avo wen we were gettin ready
i could sorta see the worry-ness
and sorta sadness in mum *Sigh*
i sorta started feeling guilty

its scary how time flies
i can still remember teh start of the yr
in term 1 when we were talkin
bout how EVERY1 was talkin bout the rc nonstop
and now its OVER

we also had house farewell as well
and we sung "hear you me"
but edited the words
so that "may angels lead you in"
to "my angels guide your way"
and i was singing it
and i nearly started crying
i mean
its so emotional the fact
that time passes LIKE THAT

ne waiz i cant be stuffed
waitin for the scan to fini
cancel it and sleep
nite nite
*hugz*

Small, Small World - update on who's been spotted..

ugh you know how bad i am at seeing ppl in the st?
but then again sometims im not..
hmm whatever..

jus writing up an update on how small this world is a usual..
i saw cvitanovic at the show dia..
lol
well as well as other ppl from school who worked at the show..
isnt it saddening that it seems to be the highlight of the yr in perth?
or at least it seems to be?
oh i also saw ben in tha hols..
he went to my primary school..
ugh so annoying wen ppl used to be around your height..
in a few yrs shoots up to be SO much taller than u..
but then again in my case it occurs most of the time..
since most ppl ARE taller than me anyways..

hmm come to think of it..
wonder if david ching is still in ccgs :S
coz thats where i heard he went to
oh well. whatever..

=========================================
ok .. its been 5 days since the beginning of that

and you know WHAT is SCARY!?!?!?
ok..
the earlier bit of the post i wrote 5 days ago..
that person..
david ching?
i had this post open..
and was procrastinating the finishing of this post..
when a convo popped up from sukey..
she had said "this is david"
im like O.O
TALK about coincedence..
its scary even..
and the thing is i havent even talked to anybody bout him
or anythin..

and tru he did end up goin to ccgs..
and is STILL there..
and takes nearly the exact same subjects as me..
its scary..
too much of coincedences..

ah well..
"Small World"
:D

nite nite
*hugz*

Bombing and Natural Disasters = DEATH + Survival Stories

I guess today im really havin a "bloggin spree"
i seem to have or more likely..
WANTING to say stuff..
and really these are the only things i feel liek talkin bout atm..
saddening things like death.. and MY PROBS..
hey.. wat can u say? its my blog and i write what i feel :D

Nice how the whole earthquake thing happend so recently..
which has happend in north eastern pakistan
when teh whole thing jus got ova with the tsunami in SA asia
earlier this yr..
well more of last yr since it was boxing day..
but still
it was a HUGE thing..
and tehn teh bali bombing..
interesting how all i seemed to mainly hear bout on the news
is jus single digit number of AUSTRALIAN ppl dead..
well i jus found out the total dead was around about 20..

saddening?

*sigh*

and what of the london bombings earlier this yr?
i missed them by 3 days...
if our tour had stayed..
we might have been travelling on those busses on the way to shop..
and then BOOM

and the bomb threat on eiffel tower..
what is the point of these ppl?
WHAT is it they want?
protest?
like many questions..
WHERE do you draw the line?
are all these bombings their form of protest?
or are they jus undermining some thing else?

WHAT do they want?
an ulitmate chaos?
scariest thought is jus like what i read in this article
in the paper on the plane to vienna..
EVERYTHING is so accessible..
everything is on the net..
and even if you access it you could access under some random username
people are learning things.
is our great technology also our undoing?

is our technology that great?
so great that we destroy all we have with what we create?
what is the whole meaning of this?

but i guess.
one good point..
well obivously since death and injuries isnt one..
is that there are always those great inspiring survival stories.
as well as medical trimphs eg. fiona wood
(i think? :S) that did that burns thing
and the emergency services also become of use.
but really..
how depressing is the thoughts
of losing a loved one in an instant?
and what if you had a fight with them earlier that day?
ure last memory of them was in an argument..
and you dont even get to say goodbye.

=========================================================
you know the possibility of not being able to sleep
could be the fact ive been turning too much of this stuff
over in my mind..
=========================================================

*sigh*
maybe i should jus go..
nite nite
*hugz*

Quizzes Galore...

Have you ever..
1.Been kicked?Yes but not hard or painful.. tho i feel sorry for some receivers of mine
2.Been punched? No not really
3.Been asked if you were brother's/sister's? yes.. well obviously i HAVE a sister..and obviously her friends ask if im her sista.. -.-" AND ive been asked if im some1 else's lil sister.. as in "IS (insert name) your brother?"
4.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend? No
5.Removed your clothing? well.. if i havent then HOW tha HELL would i change?
6.Been offered a cigarette? No
7.Been offered drugs/alcohol? Not Drugs.. but alcohol yes :D
8.Gone skinny-dipping? No.. well at least not to my memory
9.Walked in on someone while they were changing? Think i have.. cant remember who..
10.Walked in the rain without an umbrella or raincoat? most recent time.. mainly majority of time on music tour.. tho main memory was in Montreux wen the rain was worst with no shelter
11.Been outside between 3 am and 4 am with at least 6 other people? No
12.Lablled someone? huh ?
13.Been called a goth? No.
14.Bitch? Yes
15.Punk? No.
16.Prep? Prep?
17.Slut? Yes. Quite a few times.
18.Whore? No.
19.Hoe? No.
20.Sleazebag? No.
21.Douche? No.
21.Brat? Maybe behind my back when i was younger :P
22.Nerd? Not to my memory. Which these days is fading
23.Dork? No.
24.Wannabe? No.
24.Kissed someone from the same sex? No.
25.Played truth or dare? Yes
if so- taken a dare and successfully accomplished it? Strangely they tend to forget to give me dares since by the time its my turn ppl cant think of anything anymore :P
- taken a truth and actually told the truth? Yes.
26.Played spin the bottle? No.
27.Performed in some way in front of an audience of 100 or more? Yes
28.Pretended to someone on msn that you forgot an away message When you really just ignored them? No.
29.Talked behind a bestfriend's back? No.
30.Cursed while a teacher was standing right beside or behind you? Try not to curse.. well actually.. i try not to at times.. tho sometimes it jus comes out :P but hey teachers dont seem to be around :)
31.Seen a member of the opposite sex naked? Yes. Don't ask.
32.Lied to someone of the opposite sex to get closer to them? Well.. white lies or part truth ? :p but i dun think it was really to get closer to them..
33.Pretended to be scared during a movie so you could cuddle closer to someone? No.
34.Pretended to be bad at pool so someone you liked could "help" you? Well. i Was bad at pool.. still sorta bad.. but learning and No havent had "help"
35.Tanned completely naked? No.
36.Been to a nudist resort/beach/community? No, tho we nearly got to one during a p.e. walking along the beach lesson, we were told to stop before we reached the nudist beach. (thank god)
37.Gone through someone's stuff that you shouldn't have been going through? No.
38.Shoplifted? No.
39..Seen someone shoplift? Yes.
40.Punched someone? Hmm.. not really.. not punch punch.
41.Kicked someone? Yes, too many times.
42.Stolen from a teacher? Well. No.
43.Stolen from your school? Well sorta. didnt intend to but left it at home so literally "permanently" borrowed since i was in yr 7 and i cant go back to return it.
44.Cut class? Not really.
45.had an eating disorder?No.
46.Worn sunglasses on a shady day? Yes, in yr 9 when i had that random eye infection >.<
47.Been on a soccer team? Jus for p.e. in yr 9 WE WON ^^
48.Dived off a diving board? Yesss!
49.fallen off your bike? Yes. But too long ago.
50.Failed a subject? Yes. IC n GnT and maybe physics :(

One or the other?
1. Music/TV: TV
2. Guys/Girls: Both ? :P
3. Green/Blue: Blue
4. Pink/Purple: Pink
5. Sleep/Stay Up: Stay up
6. Summer/Winter: Summer
7. Spring/Fall: SPRING !!
8. Night/Day: Night
9. Hanging Out/Chilling: What's the diff? :S
10. Friends/Lovers: Both.
11. Cold/Warm: Warm.
12. Fast/Slow: Depends on what but prob fast.
13. New/Old: New
14. Dark/Light: Light
15. Sparkle/Shine: Shine.
16. Peach/Plum: Peach.
17. Apple/Orange: Both?
18. Laundry/Dishes: Laundry. I HATE DISHES
19. Hugs/Kisses: Both ^^ *sigh* tho you can have hugs from everyone ^^ so leaning more to hugs
20. Ketchup/Mustard: Ketchup
21. Glass Half full or Half empty: Half Full.

My Favourite?
1. Colour: BLUE.
2. Number: 12
3. Food: just food in general ^^
4. Non-alcoholic drink: Water
5. Alcoholic drink: Baileys.. well dun really have much of a choice at home now do i?
6. Snack: ANYTHING
7. Movie: dunno :S
8. Actor: None
9. Actress: None
10. TV Show: None
11. TV Channel: 10
12. Cartoon: None.
13. Disney characters: Mulan, Pluto ^^ Mickey n Mini
14. Song: Too Many
15. Singer: Dun have 1
16. Band: neither
17. Group: ditto
18. Sport: Most sports ^^
19. Book: Books are good.
20. Board Game: -
21. Card Game: Cheat, Big 2(cant even play that properly -.-"), Spoons. and that other random one oh yah peanut butter and jelly.
22. Smell: Babydoll, some fragrances from fragonard and Echo Woman as well as many more :P
23. Flower: Lotus :)
24. Magazine: -
25. Item of clothing: Jeans
26. Item of jewellery: Earrings, anklets and Necklaces
27. Time of the day: 8 pm
28. Day of the week: Fri
29. Week of the month: Does it really matter?
30. Month of the year: Feb :P
31. Place to be: "Home is where the heart is" Home would be the place to be :)
32. Thing to do in your spare time: MSN ?
33. Thing to do on the weekend: -

Do you..?
1.Cut yourself: No. Not purposely.
2.Kill people: WHY would i? No.
3.Plan on killing any one: Never did.
4.Hate a lot of people: Maybe some.
5.Like a lot of people: Yes.
6.Get grounded often: Never grounded
7.Yell a lot: Ask my family :P
8.Cry a lot: Read post below
9.Cry if your parents died: I'd be worried if i said No. Of Course I'd cry
10.Want to die: No.
11.Steal: No. Why would i?
12.Smoke: I'm not the 1 ruining/shortening my own life tho plz. dun smoke around me.
13.Go to church a lot: Well.. compulosory?
14.Love school: Once. a long time ago.
15.Wear dark colours: If it suits my mood.
16.Dye your hair: No. Not at all.

Randomness
1.Unwrap a starbust with your tongue? Never tried.
2.Lick your elbow? Physically Impossible.
3.Manipulate people easily? Never tried intentionally.
4.Sing well? I wish. Ask lina She HATES it :P
5.Open your eyes underwater? Yes.
6.Eat whatever you want and not have to worry? At times :P
7.Iceskate? Yep. Not sure bout the number of times ill fall tho :P
8.Sing in front of a crowd? Yes
9.Whistle? Yes. Stuffed round today.. wolf whistled at a staff member as a joke. and a customer looked at me strangely. i think he thinks im less :(
10.Be a bitch sometimes? Can be.
11.Walk in really high heels? YES.
12.Eat super spicy foods? Definately No.
13.Play an instrument? Yes. A few. Tho Jack of all trades :P
14.Block out what someone is saying if you don’t want to hear it? At times.
15.Act like you like somebody you hate? Yes.
16.Attract a lot of boys? I wouldnt know. Nor would I.
17.Skateboard? Dun have 1.
18.Sleep with lights on? Hallway light always on. But i dun mind pitch darkness.
19.Multitask? I wish sometimes.
20.Touch your nose with your tongue? Definate no.
21.Fall asleep easily in a car? Depends on tiredness level.
22.Catwalk? Dun think so. BUT would be fun to try :P
23.Do the 1,2 step? Huh?
24.Blow your nose? Yes.
25.Do the cottoneyed joe? What's this?
26.Tell when a guy is gay? Prob some fit in stereotype, some dont >.<
27.Play DDR and not fail? Definately Not.
28.Surf? Tried long time ago. cant remember result. tho most likely fell off :P
29.Make yourself cry? No.
30.Fit in your locker? Def no.
31.Taste the difference between coke and pepsi? Sometimes.

Bitching and Stealing

========================================
finishing this off..
but it was started a few days ago
========================================
something which i dun understand here..
y do ppl bitch?
and
Y do ppl steal?

ok in like those first world countries and stuff..
where ppl dun have anything to eat..
so they resolve to stealing i understand..
sorta..
but Y in our society?
mainly..
well in the suburbs around us?

ok..
now bitchin?
ugh..
hate it but then again so easy to do?
i jus hope i dun bitch that much
tho some ppl *shakes head*
but y would they do that?
hate? or jealousy? or...
i dunno..

=====================================
sorta lost the drift of things..
but ill try
=====================================

hmm realised i could slightly be bitchin bout ppl..
but im making a comment..

maybe thats what they as themselves are thinking?
and the thing of "bitching" labelled as a girl thing right?
-.-"
they still talk..
question: do i know enough guys to draw that conclusion
prob no..
*sigh*
but hey..
there are still words that go round..
Eg. "slut"
tho then again guys are most likely to be using em :P

but why is it that females more likely to bitch?
here's some of my thoughts?
a) we have need something to talk bout
b) we have a longer extent of want of talking in comparison to guys who tend to grunt alot.. (esp wen it comes to my relatives -.-")
c) we can talk whilst working.. its part of multitaskin :P
d) for some.. the thought of down troddening some1 else makes them feel empowered?
e) i said it before.. jealousy..

what is the point of this post?
i personally do not know..
oh well at least its finished :P
ne waiz
*hugz*

WARNING: LONG EMOTIONAL POST (#250)

ok..
lost my last post..
have to type it up again..

last thurs..
spent the day doing paperwork..
driving around getting this done that done..
and we stopped by the ct..
and we bought a pedometer for dad..

this morning i woke up early..
and found that he had left it so i thought..
hmm let me try it..
(as slightly inaccurate as it will be since its set for my dad)
stayin at home wouldnt really work..
so i decided to help out at the shop..

nothing really to do cept act as a messenger between the shop and resto..
good i guess walking increase pedometer :D

but there seemed so be something i noticed..
i always walked the front way..
that is along the st where there's lots of shops and restos..
and i realised..
many shops = many windows.
many windows = many reflections
AND I COULDNT STOP LOOKIN AT MYSELF IN THE REFLECTIONS

therefore today's question:
am i EXTREMELY self-conscious or jus SELF obssessed in they way i dress?

funny thing tho..
in the morning..
i neva care bout teh way i dress..
well not entirely true..
coz i dun always wanna look like a total hag
but i walk out the house with MINIMUM care of my image

===============================================
THANK god for recover post...
nearly had to restart a third time..
i jus realised that it was there -.-"
===============================================

ok back to waht i was talking bout..

-.-" lost the drift of things..

umm..
oh yah and whilst i was waiting for mum..
wen we were bout to go home..
it was a while before
i realised was staring at the reflection of myself on the car window
-.-"

worrying...

anyways..
since i dun feel like talkin taht anymore..
i just thought bout something

what is up with some ppl and their one tracked minds?
ok ok
there is the female multitasking thing
but hey..
u dun go and NEVER talk to some1..
then out of the blue talk to them
then ignore em after you get the info you want..

maybe i jus cant get over this topic.
but i seriously find it annoying
you dont not talk to some1 then go talk to them jus coz u need help.
ok a person should be helpful and all
but still
isnt it rude?!?!
get what u want..
then after that say bye and start ignoring them all over again?

*sigh*

im going round in circles..
and the blog post that i still havent published taht i spent days on..
since i had to keep starting it ova and ova
coz of the windows closing due to some error or the other..
i dunno what to do with it..
i dun feel like finishing it either..
and its jus gonna sit there..

oo this is my 250th post!!!

happy 250th post..
hmmm saddening my life is isnt it?

what else is there to talk bout..
its 4:21 in tha arvo..
and i bored to death..
my organic chem booklet is only half finished
and its the only subject ive started on..

ooo
heres something to talk of..

I CANT SLEEP

i dunno HUGE problems sleeping these days..
not the whole i cant sleep coz im thinking of some1 prob..
but more of i cant get to sleep
it thinketh that it could partly be stress..
stress of gettin things handed in etc..

not sure if everyone noes..

IM GOING TO TAIWAN!!!!

tho not a perfectly good thing...
since its 6 weeks of study in my SUMMER HOLIDAYS >.<

back to the sleep thing..
its weird coz like i wanna sleep...
and wen i try to sleep i think ...
i think of parents
i think of school
i think of life.
i think of my sister.. :S
i think of music
i think of annabel
i think of resto
i think of jane mann and the whole brain tumour ting
i think of the tragic things on the news
i think of EMBARESSING memories
i think of memories in general
i think of TOO many things..
and then somewhere along the way..
i drift into this random state where im still thinking..
but im also asleep.. but not asleep asleep if u noe wat i mean?
like im still conscious and thinking and all
but rested..
i dunno how to better say it..
then later on
i think of im gonna wake up
i think of no back to sleep
i think of no wake up
i think of back to sleep
i start aguing with myself whether or not to wake up !??!!?!

what tha?

and then if i continue sleeping..
i wake up later on..
still realising i havent really slept slept..
look at the clock and its O.o
FOUR AM
-.-"

and sometimes wen im in tah half thinkin sleeping thing..
my sister kiks the door
(her bed is now blocking the door..
therefore her leg can reach it)
and its this HUGE BOOM
and it wakes me up >.<
at like TWO AM

I CANT SLEEP
AGH!?!?!

and also..
ive noticed..
i sorta tear..
like i dun fully cry and bawl out and everything..
and its not the whole shruddering watery nose thing..
its jus tears that keep falling..
drip drip dripping..
falling
down down down
but i dunno y i cry?
*sigh*
there really isnt anything to cry about really..
nothing i feel emotionally saddened about...
jus this whole numbness when ever i think of things sad..
yet i "cry" wen im trying to sleep
a silent weep if you can call it that..

its a numbing weep..?

im really confused i guess.
and sometiems it feels like theres no1 one
round to talk bout anything to..

could be overall stress..
but i dunno

and i mean thinking too much...
really can literally drive you insane..
like you get all these mixed emotions..
going from one thought to another..
sorta goes from a dull lack of thinking on the computer..
to a numbing flood of thoughts and emotions..
plus the fact taht my sight is gettin worse due to spending my time
in front of the comp this whole hols..

i need a hug :'(

ah well..
like ive told so many
life goes on..

i can do fine by myself..
and jus go on as if nothing happens..
but what does all this end in but drifting??
and where is the drifting me ?
lack of study..
and the belief that ill get good marks even if i dun study..
which nowadays dun work that way..

well ive reached a conclusion i guess..
the source of my not studying..
but how DO you study?

you know?
sometimes thinking of somethings..
jus runs shivers up my back..
there's this cold feeling..
a lacking of something..
this coldness..
this strange alien feeling..
maybe its jus the loneliness.
its not like my sister cares
and dont you just love that quote..?
"you can be in a room full of people and still feel as lonely as ever"
i dunno if i really love it..
but it seems so true..

time passes..
time may change things..
but somethings never change..
some too fast
too fast to grasp..
but what caused the change?
what is the catalyst..
or the peservative?
time keeps turning
but us people caught within the spokes..
may be tossed around
swinging from one personality to another
or stuck at the bottom remaining unchanged at all

and dejavu?
i dream up these things..
and some of them come true.
question is..
if we were reincarnated..
maybe this life has happend before
and we were sent to correct something
is it that our dreams are meant to remind us that something WILL reoccur
or tha something should be prevented from happening?
are things we dream things that should happen or not?
as real as they feel in the dream?

*sigh*

like i said before.
thinking can drive you insane..
and i still..
need a hug...

have a good avo..
*hugz*

hols..

u'd think in tha hols
id blog more often..
guess NOT..

nothing seems to have been happening..
well other than tha random outbreak of emotion a while ago..

i havent done an inch of hw..

i spent the first three days of hols with family..
well more of spent the evenings doing so...
cant remember them exactly..
tho i noe i went to sizzlers
and also the dragon resto for seafood steamboat buffet..

went to the ct and nb on wed..
saw ron on the train to ct..
went with mona, scar, sheila, gar (tho left a while later)
oh and steven(mona's bro) was tehre a while..
till we got to nb..
had korean for lunch..
cant remember the rest of it..

thurs..
went to royal show..
late again >.<
sheila, maxy, scar and me..
walked around a while..
had some of that "twisty" chips..
watched fireworks..
went out to nb afta
and ate some congee..
god its been ages since i ate out..
got home late..
well it was the latest i eva got home from goin out..
not sure wat my parents think of it..

fri..
cant really remember it..
i think i stayed at home

sat..
went out wit mum to show..
spent most of the arvo out there...
all we did was spend the whole time in the pavilions
lookin at stuff we could buy..
since we had 2 free passes in..
so mite as well use em
i bought 1 of those halos..
was walkin across the street from train station
and had ppl call out
"look an angel.. look (name of person) therez an angel over there"
-.-"
wonderin if i shoulda bought it and worn it at all..

sun..
stayed at home

mon..
woke up early :S
which is unusal for me
and at 6:30..
which is like unbelievable for me in tha hols..
went out to shop..
stood at cashier till bout 11:30
picked up lina from home..
went out to ct and nb
with penny, ron, raymond
and jemmy later on afta his exam
i learnt how to play pool is one thing..
otha than that didnt get anything outta tha day..
went home..
and spent most of last nite reordering stock with mum

and today.
went out with parents in the morning
back to the resto..
got told by my grandma heaps to help out wit the resto
but each time i was outside there was nothing to do..
then spent the evening jus wondering between shop and resto
helped out a bit with the checking of ordered stock

thats bout all that's been happening
nite nite
*hugz*

BREAK DOWN

lost it today..
*sigh*
just got too much...

but fine now..

HOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yay..
hols..

but now sorta feelin bored..
soz ive sorta neglected this whole bloggie business... :(
but then again..
i wonder if ppl are actually reading
since therez sorta been a lack of response at all on taggie
*tear*

what to write about these days?

hmm
you know..
i think im sorta realising..
that sometimes i tend to dislike some ppl..
jus cos they seem to show slight similarities to me :S
its like i see something in them..
maybe some quality that seems like
(or at least it seems so to me..)
me or some part of me now or in the past...

OR

the basic possibility of twinges of jealousy?
as much as i dun like admitting it?
could be..

and i dunno..
there seems to be this really strange feeling these daiz..
i mean this morning i was on SUCH a high..
wonderin? ask kat...
i was SKIPPING!?!?!?
despite the fact i was running on 6 hours sleep
(which isnt enough for me usually)
AND no breaky at all
and now on a total low..
(which isnt surprisin)

but its like im not feelin happy
or sad..
its this numbness..
its back again
>.<

music affecting the mood?
it works if im standing in front of a blaring speaker..
and dancin
but othawise..
:S
have to actually express something..
need somthing which will take my mind off...
well off nothing..
its so weird..
half the time im thinkin my self into numbness
the otha half its jus i jus sit there and get consumed..
it jus encloses me..

y is it that ...
yyyyyyyyyyyy?
i dun even noe what im thinking..
its jus all wierd..
im not even lookin at the screen...
jus an occasional glance just to check spelling..
but its jus like i zone out and every thin jus feels so blanked out..

y dont i care bout my marks?
i dun wanna end up totally stressed ova a simple mark..
but then again..
i dun wanna be as slack as i am..
when did i lose my interest for school?
or didnt i haev a passion for it in the first place..
and if so..
would that mean that i've been living the life that my parents?
have i just been existing..
not caring? or jus some living puppet..
living off the ideals ppl have created for me?
i mean i barely know what i want or need.. or wish for...

what am i?
some sadistic...
i dunno..
*sigh*
blocking out the music..
the melody coming from my comp.
it jus feels as tho i dun want the harmony..
tho if i listen.. there seems to be a slight elation..
fomr the state where im sinking..
sinking lower and lower..

y is it that with some ppl...
they only talk to you when they want something?
or when they want entertainment?
ok..
i prob do that sometimes..
but i mean
i talk to ppl..
either they're really bz but dun tell me
and it jus seems they're totally not interested..
not interested in talkin at all..
you'd think that there'd at least be some reply of sorts..

ne wiaz..
g2g
or else lack of sleep for consecutive nites = grumpy della
nite nite
*hugz*

Misinterpretations...

saturday today..
half way thru the w/e...
but then again
5 days of school left before hols..

today was actually quite a good day..
tho i think its the fact that i actually went OUT somewhere

had chinese this morning
spent the first bit rewritin tah essay..
then bout 2 hours rehresal for that performance tonight

lunch..
then was gonna stay at temple all day due to the performance
but instead..
went to jemmy's house..
stayed for a while
left stuff there..
went out to city
with ronald, raymond, jemmy and kevin
spent like 2 hours in tea fusion
saw so many ppl...
esp to me since im not used to seein so many ppl outside of school
saw
mona, hyemi, fong-yeng, ada, sheila, maxy, eileen
ccgs guys.. andy..
sorta started learning to play CS...
god i'm CRAP :P
but slowly learning.. :)

got back to jemmy's place to get stuff..
walked back to FKS...
it started to rain on the way back
(uh.. so regretted not accepting car lift
but then again i shouldnt be gettin into cars with "randoms")

got back to FKS..
quickly changed..
(i had brought the dress with me when i went to school this mornin)
got dragged off by a teacher to be powdered all over with make up..
(LOL raymond.. BLUSH and LIPSTICK :P so funny)
the teacher did my face twice
since apparently after the first time
"it wasnt bright enough"
i looked like i had a permanent blush afta that
like BRIGHT RED
but hey i blush easily ^^"
performance was ok..
stuffed up a bit..
with the order of tha performance taht was..
thank god my part was only being the english narrator..
easily done ^^

watched lion dancing.. dances..
etc... and games ^^
sold raffle tickets..
but ended up being rejected so many times
cos all the girls in teh school was selling them
so most ppl bought some already..
i won a set of cups in some quiz game :S

tho funnily..
i spent the whole evening in that dress..
the blue trad chinese dress "cheung sam"
ugh wateva.. my pronouciation is absolute SHYTE
so randoms were randomly staring -.-"

aftawards went back to resto..
some ppl thought i had jus come back from a ball..
:P

on the note of misinterpretation..
which is the whole title of this post..
well other day..
i displayed pic of my cous
and some ppl asked me "is that ure bf?"
-.-"
ITS MY COUS
cant i display my cous's pic?

and then..
today..
afta the performance..
came across this lady talkin to these 2 dudes..
the lady prob worked at the temple as volunteer
ne waiz..
was gonna walk past..
then 1 of them said hi to me..
i replied hi back..
then realised who it was ..
andy, my cousin
without the chance to say anything else
the lady was fully "ooo isnt she pretty? blah blah blah"
and we were like "no i think you've got it wrong we're cousins"
lady:*smirks* you cant fool me
him: yah its tru
me: yah
him: she's my younger cousin
lady:*says disbelievingly* still don't you think she's pretty?
-.-"
me:but we're cousins
lady:*STILL suspicious* i know what you mean

COUSINS..
DOESNT that mean ANYTHING???

ppl's lovely mind which love to
make assumptions of ppl's relationship towards others?
a pic was taken of me and raymond together..
wonder what will come up?
another set of random rumours?
a pic of me and jono taken in yr 9 social..
jus cos he happend to ask me some questions
and person comes up with camera..
a whole set of rumours?
or me and mona..
where mona looks liek a guy :P
(sad thing was it happened twice) -.-"

things we say..
so many things we say can be reinterpreted..
play around with the words and so many meanings can be formed..
a simple innocent line..
add a few words..
rearrange the sentence..
and voila !!
a new meaning..
OR
the simple not able to read the tone of voice in a text

i've got heaps more to rite bout..
but then again
its getting late..
so i'll just leave it there
nite nite
*hugz*

IGSSA aths carnvial

well...
igssa aths is ova already..
"penrose" won :P
penhros that is..

instead of staying at home..
which is what my mum had actually let me do..
coz they weren't taking yr 11s this yr..
i went to the igssa aths carnival..
and was..
A CHEERLEADER..

i cant believe it..
it was SO much fun ^^
well..
fun except for the fact that the majority of the spectators
DIDNT CHEER
-.-"
we'd go
"1 2 3"
*begin to cheer..*
they were like jus staring blankly..
but some of the ppl at the back cheered which was good..

and i saw arnina.. ^^
had fun with the spirit thing
between st hilda's and mlc..
but we kept losing it when we did it against plc..
coz plc were actually fully enthused and were cheering..
(we were sitting between st hilda's and plc)
then they would say "we cant hear u"
grrr.
so mean..
but it was so truthful
*sigh*

wat offended me a bit...
well more of just annoyed me..
was i was cheering..
penrhos walked past (the spectators that is)
since they were late
and one of them was sayin to another
"hey! they [mlc] stole our uniform"
-.-"
i wonder who was once part of mlc..??
but they coulda just been like yr 8s..
and since im shorter than most ppl...
even some yr 8s they coulda been yr 8s..

lolly wise..
i supplied again..
but school is reimbersing me..
the spectators went through THREE (3) KG of lollies...
and were still DEAD..
they were fully un-enthused
but what can you say?
i mean who would really go if they had a choice???
which brings me to the thought..
no offense but y did you go mona?
since you didnt really cheer that much..
i know you seemed sick..
but you looked TOTALLY lethargic..
and spent the whole time talking...?

ne waiz pix...


MLC aths cheerleaders 2005 :P

me and arnina

quick update

bloggie...
havent said ne thin to you in ages again.. :(
sorry..
:p

well this week has been ok..
in comparison to last week which was loaded with tests and assignments..
had gnt and ic validations..
not sure how i went with ic but im SO happy bout gnt ^^
i think i might slightly startin to get it..

oh how time flies..
barely rote ne thin b4..
ne waiz got choir 2moro mornin so
nite nite
*hugz*

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME: *Disclosed* :P

2. WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Blue.. they're denim jeans..

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? We Belong Together - Mariah Carey

4. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Dinner at resto.. pho tai

5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? When ever I see them, better to believe than not to eh?

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? BLUE!!! Tranquil, calming colour
colour of the sky and water (tho techincally water doesnt have colour but its blue in oceans and paintins :D)

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Night.. COLD

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? :S sad person who is unloved.. i cant even remember the last phone call i had.. wait.. it was yesterday.. gar called bout her stuff..

9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Yes.. great friend :D but im not sure bout mentioning her name on bloggie

10. FAVOURITE DRINK? WATER!!! well.. water is ok but i LOVE fizzy drinks who doesnt? and course there's the alcoholic beverages but will not go into that

11. FAVOURITE SPORT? sport in general.. i just love sport but am CRAP at them..

12. HAIR COLOUR? black

13. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope..

14. SIBLINGS? yes lina *rolls eyes*

15. FAVOURITE MONTH? Feb.. it's special since its shortest and obviously my bday is in it :P AND its summer and beginning of autumn

17. FAVOURITE FOOD? food in general?

18. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? First Daughter

19. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? How can you just choose 1 day?? Everyday is different and has ups and downs. How can you pinpoint which is your fave? tho summer days are good ^^

20. WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET RID OF ANGER? anger.. um.. silence?

21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TOY AS A CHILD? This lil red "creature" sorta looks like a bear but is red.. i got it for my first bday :D

22. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

23. HUGS OR KISSES? um... both..? :P nah just hugs is fine ^^

24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? SO BOTH!!!

25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO E-MAIL BACK? Nope since im bloggin it

26. WHO DO YOU WANT TO REPLY? Bloggin it

27.WHO IS MOST LIKELY NOT TO RESPOND? respond as in reply? well not possible.. and no 1 will read all this junk any ways..

28. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? I'M LOVIN IT!!.. well it is a mess i must admit but then again there are many ppl in the world who hasnt got wat i have so cherish what you have (as hard as it is)

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? eons ago.. actually im not quite sure but it must have happend this year i bet you

30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? draws...

31. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? well guess must be every1 in yr 8 since ive sorta lost contact with my primary school friends.. have seen some of them again but then again it does seem awkward..

32. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Spent the time doin my lit essay which was due today and slept at 2 am

33. FAVOURITE SMELL? Flowers

34. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Music.. thoughts... self motivation (well the little scrap of it that is left that is)

35. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Bein lonely.. and the dark ^^"

36. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? Buttered and/or salted

37. FAVOURITE CAR? --- dun ever ask me bout cars... but i love my mum's car ^^

38. FAVOURITE FLOWER? roses tho all flowers are beautiful

39. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 2

40. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Sunday

41. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? sleep ova.

42. HOW MANY SUBURBS HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 2

43. HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 2

44. BEST FRIENDS? every1 in the world ^^ (well that's wishful thinking.. :P)

45. FRIENDS THAT ARE OLDER THAN YOU? a few.. not that many..

46. ONE PERSON THAT YOU LIKE TALKIN TO THE MOST ON MSN? v few ppl talk to me on msn.. tho sadly im on so often.. question is WHY???

47. ONE PERSON THAT YOU MOST LOOK FORWARD TO RECIEVING A SMS FROM? now that would be givin ideas away now wouldnt it?

48. ONE THING YOU MOST WISH YOU COULD DO? do better in school..? make my parents and lina more happy?

49. ONE THING YOU REALLY WANT TO ACHIEVE THIS YEAR? Gettin an EXCELLENT Exam Mark

blog blog blog..
need to blog.
anyways..

sometimes i feel so lonely..
*sigh*
but hey the feeling brushes over soon enough ^^

this w/e had james, ann, dia, gar n kat ova ^^
YAYYYY
had dinner...
watched movies..
pizza for supper :P
then slept..
next day we had a few rounds of badminton/2 square
(since we only have 2 raquets)
made tacos for lunch
went to dome
and harbour town...

gar your stuff is still at mi house..

had chinese today..
>.<

ne waiz gettin late
say more next time
nite nite
*hugz*

Post # 241

well..
since my muse has left me once again
*tear*
i really havent had any thoughts in the recent days..
or it could have gone on vacation since it has been working on my lit essay
^^

so i guess not really gonna have much of a post..

hmm
didnt get shortlisted for prefect candidate..
i'm a lil disappointed now that i think of it.
but then again i wasnt really expecting anything
and at least my parents dont care
which could be a plus
in not having to have any disappointments from my parents

tho in my next tests..
i WILL study for them
must must must !!!

ne waiz..
nite nite
*hugz*

Post # 240

yes..
its officially my 240th post..
seems like so long ago that i had my first post on THIS blog..
yay!!!
of all blogs this 1 has lasted the longest
hehe..

and also nearing the end of the 2nd year of blogging..
and this bloggie entering its 3rd year of life :D

ok..
i realli am in a random mood...
and for those who've seen my nick 4 msn..
well..
it saiz -

Don't put your heart into anything.. then it won't get hurt

so so true..
a nice quote from a friend of mine..
but then again not surprising as he is a player..
very guarded person i see..

but then if u never put ure heart into anything..
what is the point in doing anything at all?
if its going to be all half hearted what is the point?
might as well not do what eva ure gonna do..

Prefect candidates is coming out tomorrow
and the nerves are practically driving me insane..
i want to get in but then again i dont
aggghhhhh

i'm thinking whether or not to just get rid of the password thingy again..
therez some ppl who i noe i dun want to read it..
but then again in the case of mi sista..
i recently realised she can some how access this blog
on her comp wit out the password pop up thingy come up.. :S


YAA is ok..
but its so busy and everything is so rushed
since we only have one and a half months left to make AND sell
and break even at which our break even point is pretty high up..

my lit essay is getting no where..
i keep wanting to start but i never do..
and physics i dun even wanna think about

I found out today that today that to get into medicine at UWA..
that to actually do the UMAT..
u must at first already have a TER of 96
AGGHHHH
there goes my parents hopeful course for me...
i mean HOW THA HELL since this year my av is like 60 or 70
>.<

I read this article today..
it was on the factors of a good marriage..
and the fact that it said that
one of the main factors that lead to a marriage
that had lasted more than 30 years
was good communication (duh)
the couple's ability to resolve problems
and/or just a sense of comfort and trust in each other's company
the ability to just talk one's most inner most feelings with
would ensure a relationship lasting

which realli means that there is someone
whom u can trust and talk things about openly
and thinking about it..
how sad is it that there may be some people who don't even have this
people who believe that they cannot trust anyone that they know
from either previous experience of losing their trust in someone
through betrayal of trust or maybe just being bullied
*sigh*

or even the simple idea that although you have all these people around..
you just don't seem to have this real connection where you have complete confidence with anyone..

and thinking about me...
how sad is it that i at times
to type out my confidences and thoughts out to an online journal
any waiz..
time to sleep
nite nite
*hugz*

YAA Production Sales

just a quick note to say that YAY we've made some of our first ever sales!!!

ye olde art of poketh...

kk...
talking of blogging..
time to settle back and start the routine again..
and sometimes as little as it seems that goes on..
there are times when i have things to talk bout and when i dont..
[oh my muse just comes and goes oh so often.. *sigh* :P]

my newest thought...
"the poketh"
aka. *poke*
i mean ive just recently realised how much its done..
esp. wen it happens to me..
ok..

i had written a full on report like thing on it before..
but due to the loss of my last post..
oh well
cbb...

of the things i understand..
there seems to be this thing where
*people poke to annoy...
*people poke to get attention..
*people poke to suprise some1...

but then again..
y poke ppl 4 no reason at all..
just walk past them and *poke*
i mean in the last yr..
ive been:
*poked till i fell off a chair..
*poked until i ran outside a room..
*poked while i was working..
*poked until i gave something back (that i had taken from them :P)
*poked until i started getting work done
*poked for no reason at all
*poked for leaning against a wall
*poked coz there wz no conversation happening
and many more pokes >.<

*poke poke poke*

what is with poeople and poking..
i dun get it..

but then again with people there are many things i still dun get..
*rolls eyes*

and since i have choir 2moro morning
i have to sleep
(and ill try to keep regular posts)
to ensure ppl that im alive :P
nite nite
*hugz*