The History of Del

Yes.
i found another thing off friendster bulletins.
but cmon..
there's not gonna be any posts from me for a while..
since im still preoccupied actually typing up a
"last few weeks" recap..
which has already taken me days since i've had so little time
and there's so much to write about..
so here's an aside
and without further ado.
i present:

History Lessons in a Blog Post
Subject of the Day: Del

Were you a planned baby?
no idea..

Were you the first?
Definately..!
well..
unless there's some lonely kid out there
who's been adopted.. or like i dunno..
living on the street??

Who was present at your birth?
beats me.. my mind dont stretch that far

Were your parents married when you were born?
Yep they were

What is your birthdate?
check the sidebar dear.

Part 2: The Family

Are your parents married or divorced?
married.

An only child?
thank god no.

If you have siblings are you oldest,middle,or youngest?
oldest

Which parent to do you get along with the most?
Daddy. I'm daddy's lil angel :P
See the halo above my head?

What do you fight about?
the most random things..
tho i think its me who's just way too picky
and lina who refuses to buy anything
then scabs off me
or the fact that lina says i waste money..
yeah.. guess im a bitta a spend thrift
but mainly over doing things
ooo i know one HOUSE WORK
who's turn it is.. and how much each should do

Do you have step parents?
nope. none. zilch. nada. zip-boing.

Part 3: The Friends

Do you have a best friend?
nope.. im just a sad lil loner..
who is too shy or scared to get close to anyone.
well.. no in that no total definite BEST friend
but my friends? you know who you are :D
*hugs*

What do you like to do when you are together?
whatever there is to be done..
anything's fine with me

Do you share the same interests?
some.. some not..
tho we stick together all the same

Which friend can you tell everything to?
shh.. its a secret!!

Part 4: Your Personality

How high/low is your self esteem on a scale of 1 - 10
its a rollercoaster i think...
it goes up then down.. then up.. then down again
tho atm? hanging just on about a 5-ish

Do you get depressed about things easily?
depends on what the thing is...

Are you happy?
at times.

Do you live life to the fullest?
depends on how you define "fullest"
coz i just think no matter what you do..
you can always think of something that you could've done
that woulda been more fulfilling..

Part 5: Appearance

Are you comfortable with the way you look?
at times.

Describe your hair?
black. straight. bit longer than shoulder length

How do you dress?
um... however i feel?

Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child?
maybe.

Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?
Bullying. that's traumatising! *nods*

Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition?
none atm. well actually..
at the current moment..
to get my cousin outta his house before this hols end..
coz ive never been out with him.

Are you scared of growing older?
the sound of being TWENTY seems SO freaking OLD
nah not really..
it comes when it comes.. i dont really mind..
just as long as i dont go from
a sudden --teen to like eighty or somethign like that :)


Do you want to get married?
sometime in the neardistant future..
tho DEF not now

Do you want kids?
probably.. but not anytime soon

If so, How many?
truthfully..no idea

Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?
both.. just depends on what's on and around
winter and out doesnt seem to go together that well for me

Favorite Season?
depends on the place..
and how the season is like in that place..
where i live? mm summer n autumn

Do you like walking in the rain?
nope. COMPLETELY HATE IT.
tho indoors n rain is good..
or.. if it must be rain..
a slight summer shower is ok :)

Part 9: Food

Are you a vegetarian?
not at all. tho i still love veges

What is your favorite food?
chocolate.. and well.. any pasta

What food makes you want to gag?
some sorts of cheese.

What is your favorite dessert?
icecream!!

What is your favorite restaurant?
hmm.. dont really have one ;)

Are you a fussy eater?
yep at times.

Part 10: Relationships and Love

Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?
mmm either love or acceptance
tho they sorta go hand in hand
but you wouldnt feel em and appreciate em as much
unless you've first felt the hurt of hate n rejection

Do you believe in love at first sight?
could always happen.
after all.. pigs fly :P

Part 11: Experiences

What was one of your greatest experiences?
Music tour..Taiwan.. and travelling most of the times..
and yes.. that totals to ONE
i can count.
it goes under "going overseas" or "travelling"

What was one of the worst?
plenty.. i think quite a few could possibly go under "cadets"

have you ever done druggs?
other than caffene and medicinal? no.

Have you ever thought you were going to die?
not that i can remember.

Part 12: Favorites

What is your favorite color?
bleu.

What is your all time favorite TV Show?
no idea.

What is your favorite sport?
no idea. i like most team sports..
tho cant think of a single one..
baddy possibly?

What is your favorite sport (to watch)?
not really into watching sports..
sorta more of a bore to me..
tho the sports i remember ive watched
are either soccer, footy or basketball.

What are your favorite animals?
most.

What is your favorite thing to do?
Live. simple as that.

A Standard Reduction...

Early this morning..
and really this blog post inspired by my sister..
i got a page of some mag ripped out and stuck on my computer screen
which was the following:

18 Things to Do Before You're 18
1 - Kiss the guy you've been in love with for years
2 - Donate to charity. Even if it's just your old clothes or the five bucks you scraped together from your bag, the thought really does count.
3 - Surprise someone you've had a huge fight with by showering them with hugs and kisses the next time you see them.
4 - Organise an unreal holiday with your mates. Strapped for cash? The local caravan park could be a goer, or pitch a tent by the beach.
5 - Get your closest friends to write something in an autograph book that you can giggle about (or cry over) later.
6 - See your all-time favourite band rock-out at a music festival.
7 - Get out of your comfort zone and do something mad like rock climbing, abseiling and wakeboarding.
8 - Shock people. If you're a jeans and sneakers type of girl, wear a mini with heels next Saturday night.
9 - Cook something. And we don't mean vegemite on toast! Choose a recipe, buy the ingredients and make a proper meal.
10 - Let go of a past hurt. It could be a bad break-up or a betrayal by your best friend. Worrying about it for the rest of your life is only going to be destructive.
11 - Make an important decision without checking in with everyone single one of your friends first.
12 - Have a friendship with a guy who is not your boyfriend.
13 - Pass your learner's test so you'll be the first to get a driver's licence.
14 - Humiliate yourself in public. All of these count: falling off a stange, throwing up, showing off your knickers, and telling your life story to someone while having a good cry.
15 - Try a really bad pick up line on a guy. We like: "There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off you."
16 - Read the classics. War and Peace, Pride and Prejudice and The Catcher in the Rye are our picks.
17 - Walk to the corner whop in your pyjamas. You'll get some crazy looks.
18 - Tell your mum and dad how much you love and appreciate them.

==================================================
Although this was from ages ago..
i guess i mite as well finish it off..
finish the posts i start..
coz well drafts dont add up when it comes to the post count
its just dodge otherwise..
so just being truthful to my own dear bloggie

The title?
i cant remember at all why i put it as that
so oh well
for those 18s to be and well those who are already 18+
somethign to read n contemplate..
whether you've done it already
or just need something to do?
seems like a pretty good idea for the hols
between now and well..
the next step in life

-Del

It's MEEEE

Hey everyone, this is Scarlet, I'm at the Hong Kong airport, and I'm going to Japan today. I want to blog in my own blog, but I'm not allowed to sign in to wordpress, so yah....I get to invade Adella's lovely blog.

Wakakaka. Anyhow, I'm coming back from Japan on 8 Dec, and going Beijing on 9 Dec.....yahh, and I don't really have internet access. Well, I do in a way, but I have to go to somewhere with free access, because I'm too stingy to use the internet at the hotel =P haha

anyhow, I'm coming back to Perth on 20 Dec, so yep!!

I need to go now....tata

Blog this...oh and... ah...brb

With the 400th post looming ahead..
i am both outta stuff to say
as well as experiences to experience
as i spend most of my time in the similar enviroment
and yet the running out of material is also
something which was also repeated from sometime before..

tho blogging for so long..
or having the opportunity to..
its meant that ive developed a mini-addiction
to typing things onto my blog.
i swear.. i go anywhere..
something happens im like "oh i could rite bout this"
time goes and then i forget..
and i try so hard..
to think of something to write about..
but nothing comes..
*sigh*

so what's happening these days in my world?
nothing really..
working in the mornings..
but the fact that the prices of fruit change daily
drives me completely insane..
why!?!
coz they're damn perisable and are convenience goods
yep.. good ol' geog

you know?
a pet peeve of mine?
"brb" when you dont intend to come back..
its like "i dont wanna talk to you"
but at the same time
"you're not even worth spending time on to make up an excuse"
or just not even worth ignoring..
just say it and never come back
minimal contact.. conversation..
you mite as well block the person in the first place..
esp when there's rarely any convo between the both of you

i mean its ok if you go "brb"..
and take ages to get back..
but still at least say that you came back..
and just say "oh soz too late.. g2g sleep"
or something of the like
it at least softens something down to the assumption
taht you wanted to have the conversation?

and "ttyl"?
why bother if you dont care in the first place?
a kind "take care" would to just as well
it allow for the idea that you dont wanna talk?
hmm oo i know..
what of those ppl..
who you talk to once every like 2 yrs?
its not like they care enough to talk to you
and the convesrations you have are so strained
the point being they wanted to ask you a question
but didnt really want to have a conversation

hm you know?
maybe i should just clear up my msn contact list..
after all i usually just end up talking to bout
max of 10 diff ppl over a months time
sad huh? but at least i can talk to em..
well at least you can believe
or be mislead into the idea that your opinion counts at all..
do i sound bitter to you?
i prob do..
i dunno not exactly in that a fine mood

ah well..
for those of you who bother to read..
its late..
nite nite
*hugs*

Potty Mouth...

These days..
i think im losing it..
seriously..
i nearly cried yesterday..
just coz some customer didnt want a plastic bag..
seriously.. *sigh*

ok to today's topic..
TOILETS!!
trutfully..
i dunno why im talkin bout it..
but ive gotten really irratated at the states of toilets
and their usage..
I mean seriously?
do they need to get ppl to teach ppl how to use the toilet
in like yr 1 or something? coz i DONT understand WHY
ppl refuse to replace toilet rolls
DESPITE the fact that they're there
I'm serious.. in this single day i've replaced
THREE toilet rolls..
coz instead of just opening one and replacing it..
they open a new one..
then decide to place the new one ABOVE the toilet roll holder
with the OLD one still in place..
how hard is it to take the old one and put it in the bin..
which by the way is RIGHT IN FRONT of the TOILET
AGH!!!

oh and dont get me into the FLUSHING part..
how freaking HARD is it to FLUSH a toilet..
and just maybe LOOK to check that the toilet is CLEAN after?
i SWEAR..
walking into a dirty toilet can be worst experience ever..
i mean in singapore there were the auto flush toilets..
which literally DROVE ME INSANE..
i spent half my time..
either waiting for it to flush
or trying to push the button for it to flush..
which usually resulted in a total NULL
so after bout 3 mins it'd go off..
but on the upside it ensured close to cleanish toilet :)

oh and for the unisex toilets..
you just wonder..
"oh what are those DROPS OF LIQUID" that happen to be on the ground?
*shrudder*

anyways..
g2g parents hacking at me to go to bed..
well for the last hour
nit enite
*hugs*

Pearls of Wisdom...

Jerry's bday yesterday..
and since he had work last nite
some of the younger staff decided to have a mini celebration
for him tonite..
and well as im am online at 9-ish 10 pm
typing this away
this is a sign that i didnt get to go :(

tho on the (i-dont-really-know-if-it-is) upside
i realised how much my dad and i are alike..
sad huh...?
damnit...
they say that "the apple never rots far from the tree"
*sigh* why does it sometimes have to be true?
coz seriously kids always end up either ways..
picking up things like their parents
or being the opposite of them..
and i guess today in asking to go out
i realised the similarity
on a particular case
whereby the dealings turned out pretty similar
to other possible incidents
that ive reacted to
ah well
*shrugs*

Ridicule the Negatives Out of Your Life
It would be ridiculous to worry about what might happen in the future - because anything might happen!!
It would be ridiculous to devote even one second to worrying about the past - because the past is gone for ever and cannot be changed
It would be ridiculous to critisize anybody, because criticism causes resentment. THere are much better ways of psychological methods of teaching.
It is ridiculous to indulge in bad habits, because, if I cannot stop one habit, I will advertise my weakness to wother bad habits seeking weak prey.
It would be ridiculous to think that the colour of a person's skin limits that person's intellect, ability or personal capability to succeed.
It would be ridiculous to let an unhappy childhood experience affect my entire life.
It would be ridiculous to carry the burdens of tommorrow's tasks, added to the burdens of today. I shall leave tommorow's tasks for tommorow. Sufficient unto each day are the burdens thereof.
It would be ridiculous to waste time even a minute thinking about someone I don't like. If I am not tolerant enough to forgive a person, at least i shall be sensible enough to ignore and forget him.
It is ridiculous to use the words: 'I demand' or 'we demand' because a demand creates resisitance. It is much better to maintain a friendly attitude of conciliation and negotiation, where everybody's point of view is respectfully considered.

quote above from "Pearls of Wisdom"
a book i bought in singapore.
i like that title.. ^^
tho i found it at the start of the book
reading it i think bout some of the stuff
and really some seems so easy to do
and yet others are the usual easy to say hard to do..
and well others just changes of everyday habit
or just generally being more aware of what you choose to do...

on the note of the last one.
i guess it sorta reminds of the starbucks incident
that occured recently on my trip to singapore
the dear OH SO CONSIDERATE *cough* store owner i assume
if not.. then manager or store keeper
got grumpy at us for asking for some water
ok well meaning ice water most places would be annoyed
but of the approx. 10 fo us
round half had bought SOMETHING
and only 2 were asking for water
if he really wanted to be stingy he coulda charged us for the water
nothing wrong with charging ppl for water

prior to our entry the indoors area was empty
as we were sitting there we decided to play cards
and well playing cards can get noisy
and he went and snapped at us for scaryin away his OTHER customers
we WERE his only customers -.-
well that were sittin indoors.
reminder inside was empty before we came
damnit
i mean if he wanted us to quieten down..
understandable
coulda just asked us..
instead of snapping at us loudly..
what if i'd cried..!??!!?
well i doubt he'd care but cmon..
no need to yell
and even if he was grumpy due to lack of customers
before hand which could justify his grumpyness more
we WERE his god damn customers
*sigh*

both ways.. each parties had their own wrongs
tho i think and went to illuminate HIS mistakes..
cant say much leaning towards my version of the story :D
what person aint slightly biased?

ah well..
writers block
so mite as well end here
*hugs*
-Del

Last few days...

yet again... i hear the word "last"
*sigh*
damnit.. finished with school with the lasts
and exams and came to an end
and off i got shipped over to singapore..
well as you know due to scar's dear post the one before..
when she was hogging nat's laptop..

what ive done the last week?
i personally cannot remember..
its been so much fun its been a total blur
and by the end of the day due to endless walking
collapsing onto the floor late at nite
due to the fact that it takes ages to get home
on the public transport and to have everyone
take a shower with an apartment of 5 girls

and yes its collapse on the floor
as me n scar are on the floor
chewy on the couch
n nat n gar on he mattress of the living room
but its cozy and everyone's close together

17/11 Fri -
Up onto flight in the morning
flew for bout 4 or 5 hours
arrive in apartment in pasir ris
settling in

18/11 Sat -
Bumboat ride to Pulau Ubin
Cycling around Pulau Ubin
Met Tabatha

19/11 Sun -
Harbour Front
Suntec
Merlion
Met Kenneth, Biondi, Mae and Tabatha

20/11 Mon -
Fish Farm
Orchard Road
Met Kenneth and Tab

21/11 Tue -
Zoo
Thunder Storm no nite safari

22/11 Wed -
Chinatown
BBQ
Met Elson

23/11 Thur -
went to Sentosa, an old fishing island
that was converted to an island resort
sorta like the mini theme park apparently where
the original Merlion is situated
For $33.50 package we paid for:

*admission fee
*bus to Sentosa
*2 Luge Rides
*1 Sky Tower Ride
*1 4D movie session

n yep that was it
it seemed SO expensive
then deciding to go on our spare night safari..
we travelled back to Harbour Front
to catch the maxi taxi to the zoo
but on arrival whilst waiting for the taxi..
we ended up in the rain
of which we decided giving up on the night safari
and went shopping in parkway parade
didnt do much tho i tried out the durian icecream..
which i swear after dinner, dessert, chocolate
AND brushing my teeth.. i swear i still smell durian
talking which of icecream.. i ended up eating
5 scoops worth that day in total.. *sigh*
so much more fat.
i swear since i got here
i've been developing a stomach bulge from all this food
i eat coz its apparently so cheap

hmm what else is there to recap??

atm i really cant remember
of which currently half of the above week
isnt even filled in -.-

==========================================

24/11 Fri -
gar slept in and was disappointed that she missed out
on the early morning swim for various reasons..
tho i guess im gonna miss having a pool at so close range
to a place of accomodation
i mean seriously to go swim from here i gotta
go to beatty park or beach both of which require
some form of vehicle transport
yep.. biondi nat n i went for a swim
and scar stood on the pool side
and enjoyed pushing me into the pool repeatedly -.-

we had lunch, arcade and window shopping down at century square
did a bit more shopping then returned to the apartment
cleaned up and got ready to leave
many thanx to tab, biondi, elson and kenneth
well for everything they did..
and on the very top of that..
NAT for putting up with the lot of us..
whether it be everyone paying her out for getting lost
to helping us with whatever we may have needed
and supplying the accomodation
well despite the fact that they'll prob wont read this
but its for my conscience i guess
and the possibility they come across this place :D

reading up
the last 7 days have been a total blur
im not even sure if teh summary is accurate
it was just so much fun ^^
well time to get to bed
nite nite
*hugs*

For thine is.. Life is... For thine is...

With one exam left i cant help but wanna update ^^

You know?
i swear friendster is really the source for quizzes
well the fact that "friends" complete them
and fill up the bulletin board its a minimal fuss search :)
First one i found:

-

actualli on that point i really cant be bothered anymore
they just dont have that interesting thing bout em anymore..
or its just the fact i like the x the box ones..
less effort for answer ^^

=====================================================

- Restrictions define self -
with the end of school past
(and the fact that im continuing this post
during my "leavers" coz i dont feel like sleeping)
i realised how much we are restricted
is also part of what or who we are
that it sort of models who we end up being
whether choosing to adhere to the restrictions
or to be a plain rebel

I remember back in the end of yr 7
going on into yr 8 being a highly freaked out
uncertain high-school student to be
spending my day before the first day of school
sitting in the living room of my house
silently trying to read and memorise the school rules
that were included in the front section of the diary.
sitting there
soaking it all in
and then for the next number of god knows how many months
complaining about the absurdity of some of the school rules
or the school uniform in general as obviously
it was in the worse possible colour:

GREEN

we looked like green sailors in summer
and a forest of trees if we all stood still in winter
and yet now
after all that time
just looking around
you see that the last few yrs and months
students openly incorporating parts of the school uniform
into daily wear or just for casual and camp like activities

thinkin about it.. i even brought my school shorts
to my leavers.. of which the majority of us
have also bought our leavers jumpers..
i guess its ok.. but for singapore?!?!
ah well can wear on plane :D
and well i left mine at home..
guess im not as attached to it..
well either that or i forgot on fri morning

but restrictions..
the morals we believe in form restrictions on what
we choose to do and really following them
incorporates it into your life
of which we're living in shaping and moulding who we are

mm and as education has been a major factor in our lives
being students and all
having constantly to repeat and regurgitate info
at the snap of our finger in a given amount of time
there's been an endless flow of subject referrences
between all our talk whether it be eng to h bio
to mathematical distributions on the probability
to win a draw
*sigh* sadly some of us really are nerds
but in the end all for a laugh :P
its finally over

back to the uniform thing..
i really cant imagine life having to choose clothing
every single day for uni (if i get in)
for once not having the whole set clothing to be worn
by all.. the disappearance of the entire total uniformity
just looking around to see differences
but i guess we'll just have to learn to adapt

yes im rambling on bout things that are total common sense
why i do it?
i dunno "clarification"? :P

anyways
its late now
g2g
nite nite
*hugs*

sg

Hey everyone, wassup................

Adella is with me right now, and uhhh......I have lots of secrets to reveal about her, but I shall not post it for the public eye. :D e-mail me if you wanna know. wakakaka

Anyhow, I gotta go gamble with del now. wish me luck so that I get free hugs from her. yay!!

ciao

ps. I forgot to say we're in singapore right now.

Lit Study...

Well with the rest of this weekend off..
time to get some lit study done since its my next exam..
but how to study?

looking up hand outs that we got in the last week..
i couldnt believe that the hand outs the teacher had given out..
with the marks that i had been getting..
i swear with that sheet woulda helped so much more..
the stuff makes so much more sense now -.-
AFTER a whole yr and the aggregate being decided already
but ah well i guess we were partly meant to work it out
ourselves was her intention?
i guess in the end fault goes both ways?
one worded comments dont really help much
but again the lack of seeking help on my side means that really there was little
room for improvement if i made no effort towards it..

getting the lit mocks marks back im pretty pleased i guess
i close to the highest marks ive been gettin this year..
hopefully over the next few days ill improve as i did then
but hopefully ill have the same luck in question availablities as well

hmm. lina's back.. blaring music thru the wall again -.-

sifting thru my lit things..
here's an article i'd found that i'd wanted to put up earlier
with the whole recent graduation thing
and all the TEE exams i guess it's relavent

The West Australian - Issues - Comment - March 10 2001
Tribal Youth Yearn For School
-Hugh Mackay-
What do you imagine is the main emotion of young people reaching the end of their secondary school careers?
Impatience to get away from the place? A desire to be free, at last and to launch themselves on the wide world?

The answer might surprise you. For many school leavers, there's an unexpected sadness springing from a sense of loss. THere is often a tinge of anxiety - sometimes almost panic - at the prospect of leaving the emotional safety of the school community.

Perhaps you're bemused by the reaction. Why shouln't young people feel a tad nervous about heading off into the adult world?
Why shouldn't there be a sense of loss, as part of the necessary process of becoming an independent adult?

All true. But given the daunting circumstances of many of today's school leavers, secondary schools would be doing society a big favour if they were prepared to ease the process of separation for studnets who retain, at least for a little while, the sense of belonging to a stable, safe community.

We've waited 20 years to see how the rising generation of young Australians would cope with a record high rate of divorce among their parents, a technology revolution that makes it easier than ever to exchange information without being in personal contact.

Now we know: they are compensating for all that by becoming intensely tribla. These are not the rebel tribes of the 50s and 60s.

Today's tribes supply the resources young people need for coping with life in an uncertain and unstable world. Their tribal identity often means more to them than their personal identity.

In that respect, they are reminiscent of Aboriginal and other ancient cultures - indeed, we may be witnessing the early signs of a culture-shift away from individualism.

WHen their families are fragmented and traditional sources of identity are lost or blurred, this generation doesnt retreat into isolation; it connects.

Watch them eating together. Watch them hugging each other. Watch them hunched over their computers, e-mailing and "chatting" with the people they see all day. Watch them wielding their mobile phones - "Where are you know? Who are you with?" - as they plan a weekend of continuous connection.

So when they talk about leaving school, their main concern is about how they will keep in touch with their friends; how they will maintain their tribal rituals without the effortless daily encounters at school - and travelling to and from school. They wonder how they will fare in enverironments where they feel cut off from the herd.
Whatever else it might be, attending school is mainly a process of socialisation.

Yes, the formalities of teaching and learning are critically important as well, but when school leavers describe their most positive experiences of school, they rarely refer to the joys of the classroom.

History, geography, maths and science scarcely figure in their enthusiastic accounts of what school has taught them (and, to judge from my research, those accounts are often very enthusiastic).

Rosy reflections on school life are dominated by the theme of emotional security.

What wast the best thing about school? "Seeing my friends everyday." Do you ever wish you were back at school? "To my amazement, yes; I wishe I was back with the group, doing things we used to do together."

It's not just explicit socialising. School leavers miss the experience of belonging to sporting teams - "I was hopeless at hockey, but I loved being in the team" - or participating in other activities to hwich they no longer have access. Helping with the audio-visual equiptment, singing in a choir, playing a musical instrument, painting, debating... to say nothing of easy access, if they're lucky, to understanding and throughtful adults who will listen to them.

Today's young people face pressures never contemplated by previous generations.

At such a time, secondary school could satisfy a real need by finding creative ways of accomodating recent school leavers who would like to maintain some link to the school - even if only for a few months - while they find their feet elsewhere.

Some former pupils are taking matters into their own hands. This week I heard of a group of 19 year olds who return to their old school every Sunday afternoon to jump the fence and play cricket in the playground.

Many people complain that once they left school, they lost the opportunity to do some of the things they enjoyed most. Today, there's a poignant additional dimension to that complaint.

For many school leavers, a transitional link with the school might supply an important source of continuity in the quest for a place where they feel as if they belong.

written bout 5 yrs ago i cant believe how quick time flies..
it woulda been when i was graduating primary school..
they say that "opportunities are for those prepared to take them"
and well i guess in the end for those opportunities missed
maybe i should have tried or just did it instead of backing away
but for those i had taken its been a sea worth of memories
of the good and bad from the moment
of choosing between which school to attend
(well not exactly completely free to that choice
but i had the chance to refuse)
to the lack of voicing my opinion resulting in either a null
to a completely stupid decision
or not being able to keep my mouth closed
or the incorrect choice of words

and the yr's nearly over too...
:(

time to go since im bout to get snitched on..
*hugs*
-Del

News...?

good that a nice long walk clears the mind
and well lets you think as well
tho funny that..
i get home and i forget everything..

hm think i remember again now..

Australian vote on stem cell cloning sparks controversy by Lawrence Bartlett
Tue Nov 7, 10:16 PM ET

SYDNEY (AFP) - A vote in the Australian senate to permit the use of cloned human embryos for stem cell research has sparked an emotional debate on the ethics of the controversial scientific procedure.

New legislation overturning a ban on therapeutic cloning passed by 34 votes to 32 in a late-night session marked by warnings of a nightmarish future in which scientists create monsters.

The legislation will now go before the lower house of parliament, where it is expected to be approved and become law.

Prime Minister John Howard has allowed a rare conscience vote on the issue, giving senators and members of parliament the freedom to vote outside party lines.

The bill would allow researchers to clone human embryos to extract their stem cells in the hope of one day finding cures for debilitating diseases such as Parkinson's and dementia.

Cloned embryos would have to be destroyed within 14 days and could not be implanted in a woman.

Australian neuroscientist Peter Schofield told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation that part of the fierce debate spawned by the senate vote was focused on when life first begins.

"For some, it's the moment the sperm and egg meet or that any other cellular form that has the potential to be an embryo comes first into existence," he said.

"The reason the 14 days has been used is that's the first point in time where there is a commitment of any of the cells in that embryo to actually become a foetus and then a baby."

Existing laws allow stem cells to be harvested only from surplus IVF embryos.

The new bill provoked intense and sometimes emotional argument in the senate, with government senator Julian McGauran warning of the creation of human-animal hybrids.

"Under these sets of beliefs, once it is created, all becomes a horror story," he said.

"It has all the pride equal to a Nuremberg rally -- a rally of Dr Strangeloves chanting for such weird experiments as the creation of hybrid embryos, mixing humans with animals."

A successful, last-minute amendment to the legislation by the Australian Democrats specifically ruled out animal-human hybrids.

Another amendment increased from 10 to 15 years the prison sentence for flouting safeguards designed to prevent abuse of embryonic cloning.

The issue is controversial worldwide, with the latest high-profile intervention in the debate coming from Hollywood star Michael J. Fox ahead of the US mid-term elections.

Fox suffers from Parkinson's disease, one of a number of debilitating illnesses which scientists hope could be cured through stemcell research.

The "Back to the Future" star provoked conservative fire after campaigning on behalf of a Democratic senator against President George W. Bush's veto in July to block expansion of federal funds for embryonic stem cell research.

In Australia, female senators tipped the balance in the vote with 19 out of 23 approving the legislation.

Democrats Senator Natasha Stott Despoja said she was delighted that the bill had passed, calling it one of the best legislative decisions in which she had taken part.

But the senate leader of the rural-based Nationals Party, Ron Boswell, described it as a dark day in Australian politics.

"We entered a race and we created two types of embryos, one born to live and the other created to die," he said.

you know really ive never thought much about stem cell research..
but then again i had little knowledge bout what i was infact about
i guess in this year it really has caught my attention..

Interest rates rise of 1/4%? with Aust in total owing a TRILLION dollars?
and some lady informed by anz that they had actually past away
the day after her birthday and having her credit card cancelled
despite the fact she's still alive?
hm and on that im paying attention to the news again..??
hm well news and today tonight..
despite some critisism that it may just be propoganda
O.o
not that paying attention to what's happening is bad..
but during time when i should be studying..
eck. guess despite other things which may be more distracting..
whether or not i get distracted and procrastinate
is not thru temptation
but really if your own intention is to procrastinate..
there will always be something to distract you from study..

guess i got lazy on the own opinion side..
but on the stem cell..
if there really is a possibility of cures..
there will always be a cost for anything
hopefully the choice made really will be for the best
whether or not 14 days is something that is deemed as a life
who is formed to apparently die.. whether or not the embryo
is alive i dunno..
a tug on ethics but all i ask is who is to deem
what is ethical as who is perfect
or ethical enough to be allowed to judge..
whatever the choice there will be some to oppose
and tell me is it really against that of natural selection
in the preventing the lowering of unfavourable characteristics
but with the ability to help someone..
would you rather leave them to die
to prevent further continuance of that potential sickeness..
such as Alzheimers (linked to genetic factors?)
or just to save that one extra life as
you have the possibility to find the cure to?
at the price of potential lives?

well thats all i can say..
mind this is the opinion of one who is limited in knowledge
so there is a high chance that i got something wrong
and have an opinion on something that is completely incorrect
if so plz tell me what's wrong so my knowledge of things may be corrected :)

i guess
nite nite that was a bit of a ramble for something
that was intended to be a few lines only..
*hugs*
-Del

And tell me... all this for what?

You know..
with all this exam stuff..
and the continual headaches ive been having
from yesterday to today
DURING the exams.. ><

and from the troubles getting to sleep
to the early hours (eg. this morning)
i just find that..
when it comes to lack of material for blogging
well more of lack of thoughts..

and really the fact that i thought bout talking about
the new bins on the street..
i think im losing it ><
but they're so new n nice
and put in months ago.. but besides the point..

eck.

going..now..
nite
*hugs*

Treasures From the Sea...

As of today..
the fateful wheel has begun turning..
and the mark of where our paths in life may lead has been placed...

-.- grim?

yepp TEE started today.
and with a headache all morning i slogged thru
my first TEE exam..
and at the end of the 3 hours which seemed like they flew by
in a gust of wind..
i wonder what the heck?

tomoz is h bio and physics
so good luck to me
and to all the gifts from the sea :P

*hugs*
-Del

Back at last...well for the moment...

*sigh*
i've resorted to going to the library for the net..
and well its the first official day of study break..

damnit..
its been ages since i've bloggged..
well it feels like it and its driven me insane..
well that is at nite...
just lie there and think of everything i could possibly
be talking bout and for once not being interrupted at all..
but then again that means that no one will listen..
unless they choose to read..

anyways..
well sadly its officially end of school..
as of tonight..
not really part of the college community anymore..
well unless you count being part of collegians

ugh.. using the net at the library is so annoying...
keep freaking out bout being caught since i dunno if
blogging goes under e-mail or chat..
ah well hope not..

mm...
you know i never thought it..
but i actually cried on the last half day..
after the whole official assembly infront
of the high school population
like it didnt seem like such a big deal..
but the fact that everyone else was crying sorta did add to it..
tho im glad for the school's sake they've got what seems to be
a really good head girl elect atm

hmmm..
using the net now doesnt seem so important anymore..
and for how long was it that i've been on?
25 mins -.-
guess yet again it seems like nothing now...

awww.. cute the person beside me's playing neopets...
seems like ages since ive used that site..
=================================================

well that was yesterday..
until i was forced to close it n get off the comp
since the librarian was convinced that blogging
was a form of email.. whether it is or isnt
or the librarian's judgement that blogging is considered
email.. i just cbb arguing and got off the comp..

still bit annoyed over it but ah well
just shows me how much i stand up for myself sometimes -.-
just avoid the confrontation

and with 12 mins left on this thing..
i dunno what to write..
its more of the whole it just feels like im racing against a clock
yet again... i mean with exams looming on the horizon..
anything to do with time just raises my stress levels..

the valedictory was last nite.
and really in the end the only thing i truly feel disappointed in..
was myself for standing behind someone in the hat foto so all you see is an arm..
but then again half the yr's faces you can't see anyways..
i just cant help it tho...

i guess i'll get over it sooner or later..
its just that the hat foto is on so many things -.-

atm what i feel that's biting me so much..
is that in the last two yrs..
for me it seems like so many things have changed..
and yet
when i reduce everything..
to just the school and everything
it seems as if nothing really has changed at all
those who arent with us are still with us in our hearts
even if you dont see them or dont have the chance to

i mean not to totally recap
but ive been so many places..
from parts of europe to america to asia etc
and ive met so many new people
but on just one given day
in the normal life of things
its as if nothing has changed
i still walk out to the resto
and well everything i see is exactly the same

everything keeps going
keeps turning moving and churning
and yet as a person well you dont feel older when your birthday passes
but collectively everyone changes
whether from the smallest seemingly insignificant detail
to the greater of losing a loved one

and really ive gone thru alot in the last 2 yrs
from extreme highs to lows.. an emotional roller coaster
and i wonder why i just sometimes feel liek something's missing
or that there's something ive yet to do or have forgotten

ah damn times up
cya for the next while
till i get the net up
*hugs*

soon

Hey guys, its Scarrlet here. Adella's internet is STILL not working, so yeah, that's why she hasn't been online, or blogging. :(

TEE is in one week's time! Must study hard!

rattling on

I'm gonna go back to HK this year after TEE! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Life's good.

Come back soon Del! Miss ya.

- - -

As scar has mentioned below..
i've been away for a while..
and well atm..
not likely to post anytime soon
due to the fact that a muse of mine has run away..
so yeah...
therefore atm..
zero inspiration

hope to be back soon

wishin everyone well
*hugs*
-Del

in her absence i shall ...

Sadly Adella's internet access has been cut off, so don't know when will be the next time we'll see her blogging.

Adella had her last exam today! (Geography) And I managed to summon a teacher to help me fill up my drink bottle! *smiles with glee* wahahaha.

yes, yes I know you don't want to hear my ramblings, after all you only come to visit Adella's blog to see what she writes, not what I blabber on about, right?

But I have to say this, ITS THE HOLIDAYS!! WOOOHOOO. Goodbye cramming, hello my nocturnal self.

Mocks have been a b*tch so far. I need to study! But....I don't have the motivation to. I do however, have the motivation to intrude in Adella's lovely little blog again.

UMAT results were shocking. Lets not elaborate on that. *smiles sweetly, and threatens to stab anyone with a 7 inch stake if they dare ask*

I can't feel my tongue right now. I'm serious. I had a sore throat, so I took one of those Strepsils wannabes, and my tongue is NUMB, and I can't feel it! *cries*

Well our good friend Adella has no exams today, or tomorrow. She has Chemistry on Thursday and Geography on Friday. Yay only two for her! Three for me. I have Calc on Friday as well =(

Well I'm off to watch TV now. I'll leave you with this lovely picture.

The following picture is R21 for facade of rude finger gestures. Ah screw it, its not like you're going to listen to me anyway right? I did warn you!

PS. Lets all clap! Adella finally knows the html code for putting in pictures! Woohoooo we'll be seeing more of her angelic face now.

Pathways to Eternity...

Title?
hmm i dunno something on my mind..
but i dunno how to really express it.
tho in away i sorta feel like its sorta summed up by title

and well as with msn..
i sometimes bother to get a dp that suits..
and well was googling pics..
n came up with this pic..
and just the i dunno this feeling of serene calmness..
i couldnt help it..
had to put it up on the blog too :P



how i found it?
i doubt you care.. but its my blog..
so im tellin anyways..
searched up "pathways" and up came a pic..
guess what its called?
"Pathway to Paradise"
isnt it pretty? *sigh*

ok looks like with all this stress
i guess i really just needed some calm..

n well.. intertextuality?
i remembered Robert Frost's Poem we did last yr

- The Road Not Taken -

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Hmm..
mocks.. TEE... stress.. need tranquility..
roads to be taken..
can anyone guess what's on my mind?
*rhetorical no need for answers :)*

could just be the whole choices thing..
i dunno
tho thats sorta not what im feeling..
but this whole roads n pathways theme is really appealing to me...
well it is at the current moment..
wonder what's next next time i post?

well so far its Four down.. n three to go..
yep 4/7 tho in a way..
it really should be 3/6
meh at least over half way
yipeeeeeeeeeeee

tho really
i was shown once again WHY i need a physics tutor..
of which thank god im taking tutoring in the up coming hols

you know sometimes..
despite the fact that sometimes its hard to smile..
thinking again..
sometimes its just starting the fake smile..
that gets you going..
n soon for the next few moments its just actual happiness..
forgotten thoughts slip away..
as you just get lost in the moment..
started by something that's been pasted on..

i wonder really...
well actually thinking bout it..
some of the ppl ive met..
its started off like that..
a pasted on face.. an apparent personality that i let show..
whether or not its entirely intentional i dunno
but i guess in the end.. if we do end up as friends..
who ever i am then is the person i'll be around them
yet always have execeptions -.-

anyways mite go n finish my previous post first
coz i think im digging into that material
nite nite
*hugs*

Just Faces in the Crowd...

just went n deleted bout 2 potential posts
i had started a while back..
both really being only bout 15 lines long..
i guess in the end having something to talk bout
but in the end procrastinated..

===========================================
hmm
and yet above was another one that was left incomplete
well mock period sorta in a way has started..
what with study vac being today n yesterday..
i went to school today and i got my lit essay mark back..
and yet again.. fail... *sigh*
tho i couldnt have done much for that one
since i was unseen and we brought clean sheets of the poems in

atm for lit..
im teetering on an average of pass..
which is good that im passing
but i should be trying for a better pass instead of a scrape pass

main probs i need to work on??
expression n sentence structure *sigh*
of which i can either blame on:
(note: endless ramble on my justifications for my poor marks
skip to next para if you wish not to waste your time..
well actually what i mostly write is a waste of ppl's time
when they read it anyways but point being..
skip if you cbb :D) (note 2: after rereading my reasoning..
im just thinking im aiming this as something which i can vent about.
instead of venting on other things.. so its just an open attack on
self-justification of my bad marks but in the end.. just needing
somethign to vent ON)
(note 3:ok last of all just noticed my
notes in themselves turned into practically nother whole para -.-)

a)i actually do have an inability to express myself clearly

b)i never learnt how to write sentences *cough*bullshit*cough*

c)the fact that im blogging as my main source of written expression
these days therefore the lack of structure in my posting
has seeped across into my essay writing skills

d)the fact that i blog i now do a similar thing in essay writing
and just write blindingly therefore incoherancy

e)the teachers!! :P (this one shouldnt be valid but anyways)
the fact that they dont acknowledge my own personal voice
in the writing of my essays..
(damnit the teacher was going on bout reading into the reasoning
behind the way the poem was ritten n what it conveyed
doesnt that apply to my essay to?
well no since it isnt their job to analyse my essay..
ah damnit.. contradiction!! no wonder i dont cant argue my point in essays!!)

f)the comments.. the teachers contradict themselves in their comments
IN THE SAME ESSAY!!
"incomplete sentence" "sentence too LONG"

g)"read the comments they'll help you improve" HELLO?
the word "expression" isnt very helpful
elaboration would help alot..

h)i dont like the teacher (yet another invalid.. but still)
hey wait.. if the teacher student relationship doesnt do as well
then they work against each other therefore marks = bad
hmm cant do much in the end tho..
cant exactly swap classes coz i hate the teacher

i)...


oke..
to the heading of this post?
in one day i had seen 2 ppl from my primary school..
and its just amazing that you can talk to someone everyday..
and yet time passes and you cant even recognise em enough..
even to approach em to say hi..
i guess in the end there's also the uncertainty..
well for me MAJOR uncertainty..
what with my recognition-challenged ability to recognise ppl -.-
*sigh* the only way it was fully confirmed for one
was that their DOG recognised me n i remembered the dog..
it was a suspicion it was confirmed by the presence of a dog tied outside..
how sad.. the dog was all happy to see me n all
*sigh*

and yet on the other hand..
the other person i saw..
i recognised em..
what can i say? ive seen em every once in a while..
but yeah i didnt even say high..
more of a nod n smile of recognition..

tho then again..
for those who do end up approaching me..
(hmm this usually occurs when its some past classmate's parents)
say "hi adela" im thinkin in my mind "um who are you?"
n they're like "i cant believe your this big now..
i remember when you were such n such tall/little"

or there's those parents friends..
who ramble off on a tangent..

and then there's those who love to say..
"oh i'd love for you to meet my son.."
or suggest
something along the lines of marriage..
*shrudder*
im not intending that any time soon..

and now bordering on the closing of yr 12.
well ok still have exams n all..
but do we really see each other that often on exams?
will it just turn out to be faces in the crowd?
*sigh* i hope not..
well let alone first having to see each other in the first place
the likelihood... hmmm...

ever wonder if the concept of "forever" just being an illusion
just coz you dont wanna face it?
actually just the pessimistic view..
would be that forever is an optimistic light cast on the idea
of keeping together..
i mean who wants to be reminded that life is short??

you know..
when it comes to times of study..
when its so intense...
i realised how easily procrastination takes hold..
n well suddenly there's so many more interesting thing around...
*sigh*

anyways
nite nite
*hugs*

Disappointment...

you know thinkin bout it..
its sad that i had to jump from the last post..
being more of
"yeah the world is a horrid place but look
aren't small things pretty n can light up your life"
to this life can be disappointing..
and really
adding up from last weeks episode of house..
being that over multitudes of disappointments.
in the end you just cease to care..
just as self protection you just dont bother anymore..
(hmm def not a direct quote..
i may have just tweaked it a bit ^^")
anyways..

on either side of disappointments..
its still crappy being in such a situation..
and referring to K's post..
well there wouldnt be the good memories without the bad..
and as albie's said "in a world of happiness how would you know you're happy?"

dishing out the disappointment..
you just dont wanna have to face that person again..
that the fact that you let someone down..
and the blame is on you..
for ppl like me facing it in the end is
something i choose to avoid as much as possible..

=================================================
continuing on from last nite..
of which today i realised i missed my harp lesson AGAIN..
great thing to add on as a point of disappointment *sigh*
damnit.. del + hungry = forgetful and not feel good
lovely word equation of mine rite? :P

anyways..
feeling much more on the happy side
in comparison to what i was feeling today..
dunno was on the side of i feel crappy n dont wanna talk to ppl..
n sorta stare evils..
or stand there n watch/listen to ppl's convos
so soz to those who suffered.. namely scar..
my apologies again

on disappointment..
i really cbb any more..
so a disappointing post? :P
bleh im lame i know...
nah..
i sorta more have lost the plot of this post..
coz its sorta been a drag on over like 3 or 4 days now
since i was thinking it a few days back
and well now ive moved on..
tho what my current thought is i dunno
tho ive acheived a bit today in the means of study n hw..
but i wish i sorta started n well consistently did it earlier
and well for those who've noticed..
i sorta havent been online any time before 9 or 10 pm.
which would be due to the fact i cant get home before then
coz i go out to the resto to get hw n study done..
other wise i jus sit n stare at the screen on my desktop..

the performance thingy i had...
turned out to be pretty pointless..
well not pointless..
but a crowd of bout 60 of which 30 were bout primary school kids
with the only sound heard from the singers being 2 kids
shouting a song out into a mic sorta is well..
how will i put it?
EMBARRESSING?!!?!?
tho in a way i sorta think bout it again
and well its better to have more ppl?
then to have a duet..
or triplet..
or quartet..
so im still thankful ^^"
tho now ive got the upcoming performance in bout a month
which is for the moon cake fest..
as nice as it is to be pushed towards these things..
well they dont really look that appealing after mocks
or after study of any kind..

and just thinking bout it its just funny..
that i love singing this much..
and that as a kid i always wanted to sing
yet the opportunities dont really look that appetising..
tho could jus be song choice (school)
and well being forced (c school)
dont really look that appealling

ah well
late
n i was gonna do an early morning again
nite nite
*hugs*

Rainbows 'N' Sun Showers

Dunno what was up with me today..
but i feel so much more elated than i do recently..
But its not like feeling elated is a bad thing..
just i dunno the world around me seems just so wonderous atm..
(hmm wonder what tragedy im getting over?
yah know..
the whole "i never new the world was so beautiful
until this crisis occured so i treasure the world oh so much more" thing?)

ANY ways..
was in the car this morning..
n looking outta the window..
through the dark haze of the looming storm like clouds..
there stood.. a glimmer of this rainbow..
not entirely in its full coloured glory..
but in a dim.. through and after a storm sorta rainbow...
(hmm what really is up with me?)
well i dunno bout thru the storm..
coz well aren't rainbows after?
anyways..
it was SO beautiful.. just the plane contrast
of this dark opaque haze..
and the transparency of this glowering rainbow..
*sigh* so pretty..

and well..
walking towards the lockers..
the haze was letting up..
well if not then there was no haze in the direction where i was going..
but anyways..
the sun was out..
n it wasnt the whole glare n burning sun..
but just mild on an autumns day type
nice n warm n soft..
and then it began to shower..
and i was like "awww.."
like it seemed so...
i dunno
but thinkin bout it..
its the water from the rain n the light from the sun..
which gives the plants its energy..
the life giver
the essence of life..
hmm maybe.. maybe not..
but still
water is like the lifeline of living beings..
and it just lightly danced its way down..
well it wasnt snowing..
(and hmm i seem to be romantisising all this -.-)
but that's seriously what it seemed like..
it had this sorta healing good feeling..
just to walk thru it all
n totally forget..
for those few moments..
just to drift through this warm light whilst just sprinkled
by this delicate shower

and well on the gross side it turned into rain.
and well rain n uniform = BAD..
my blazer STUNK.. ><

but anyways..
it just felt so good..
such a new start to the day.
n when i got home
just the fact that the week's over..
n that a weekend is on its way..
everything felt so good..
n i had a nice long singing session..
well in my backyard..
so yeah belle ended up having to listen to it all
since no one else was round..
but ah well

I guess with exams upcoming..
this overburdening cloud that's ever present..
it just for today lifted..
well that is before n after school..
school sorta = assessments..
and just for those moments..
to as if i was walking thru a dream...
so happy ^^

and well
later on and well now since i just got back..
went to see "Trojan Women" a play by Euripides
same playwright for my lit drama text...
so was recommended to watch it..
so was in nb round 7..
walked round for bout half an hour..
then walked down to the door of the stage
when it was time..
then we realised that we didnt have the tickets!!
><
we LOST em!!
there were 3 tickets in an envelope
*sigh*
frantically ran back n round looking for it..
of which in that time i tried running AROUND a couple
but in the end STACKED it..
in the middle of a pathway -.- *sigh*
in the end we were allowed in coz we asked em for their ticket sales records..
and our names were there..
so it worked out..
but sitting down on stage..
dia realised she had tucked em up her sleeve -.-
we went searching ALL that time...
to realise she had em on her the whole time
ah well at least we got to go n watch it..

lasting bout an hour..
it really was bout dispair n desparation of the women..
of their pain and agony for their loss..
of their loved ones
of a city
of their home destroyed (
and well as the name suggests the city was troy)

i guess in light of this..
i was happy for well before n afterschool today..
but what sparked it other than the weather..
i dunno
i think it was just the shear beauty..
or the disillusionment..
the illusion of a rainbow..
the romantisism of anything..
the fact that nearly anything can be romantisied
just present it right..
and well you could just sell it of as something else
disguised and hidden from the eyes..
but in the end..
isnt the plain bland confrontational truth
covered up a total lie..?
the truthfulness of anything can be sugar-laced?
sweetened..
and in that case..
is it totally toning down really what the thing deserves?
or is it that facing it gonna help anymore?
an attempt is an attempt..
just that..

hmm of which im thinking im digging into some issues..
of which i dont even know what or why..

but in the end..
im glad today happend..
that in the end..
there are the highlights..
the memories of which brightens our life
for without it there would be no happiness..
for pain n angony would be but normality.
and without the pain and agony happines would be but norm
and we would not know of either..

so till the ends of this..
i guess all i can say is that
at least life is interesting in its own ways :D

*hugs*
-Del

Pointless...

Ya know..
with exams on the rise..
i dunno guess im not thinking much..
well could be coz
im not at home alone all the time these days..
so i guess more human interaction means that
im not sitting in my chair infront of the comp
having random conversations with myself in my own mind..
ok that seems like im schitzo.. eh cant spell it..
but mental disorder..
but as it is they're never self-diagnosed..
so yay im still safe ^^

and well
not thinking much means that
i dont really have any point in my blog posts..
or just have any point in what i do wanna say..
and yet i wonder if i make any sense usually anyways..
that is what i say has a point in the first place..
i guess this post could be bout the possible pointless-ness of talking
but i dunno
seems a bit dodge.
ah well..

tho im wondering.
if life atm just seems like a total bore..
a deflation..
bubble world just went and got squished..
so its not bright n happy and full of gas..
maybe its just routine i guess..
everythings setting in and well
study sorta has to settled in...
well to some degree :P
and staying at the resto has pulled me away from the net.
which i guess in a way is good..
coz it just means that im not wasting time..
jus sitting there.. hoping for someone to talk to..
or for someone who isnt too busy to talk to me..
but on the neg.. :(
no instant replies when it comes to using email instead.
ah well.. maybe one day i'll move backward n start using the fone..

ah well
nother pointless one bout pointless-ness.
which gives it a point int he first place
but initially not meant to have a point at all..
yep my head is construed..
*hugs*
-Del

Mindless post... not really readworthy.. just felt like a rant..

well actually for me..
it was more of lake to surf..
yeah i did the 4km and well..
hmm i managed it in 40 mins..
but in a way i tired pretty much of it..
i guess in away if i really wanted a challenge
12km woulda been better
but i woulda be dead today..
wouldnt wanna get outta bed in the morning
and well
with school n all
dont think that it woulda been that good.
plus i would have had to woken up earlier for the start
and well there'd be huges crowds and i'd be in a bitta
ache n pain for next few days..
(hmm if you havent realised yet..
im self-justifying why i didnt do the 12km
and well atm have no idea if this post is gonna be
heading anywhere readworthy..)

yes..
that was my sunday.
of which following the 4km jog..
i had to walk from school back to the shop..
since dad kept saying "go to the shop" over the fone.
so i gues that woulda added nother at least 2 km on there..
yes i did bout 6 km yesterday
of which i realised today..
over the last 2 yrs.
ive managed to do bout more than
a yrs worth of exercise in one morning
that is im referring to last yrs 10 km jog
from scotch to somewhere near freo n back..
god i hurt for the next 3 days > <

and yes..
this yr it was approx 6 km of which
im pretty glad im not suffering at all.
well except for this morning's reluctance to get out of bed at all.

yah know..
i just also realised..
that i never ended up doing a recap for the ball
and neither have i done my 2005 recap..
well actually ive started it and its sitting round her somewhere unfinished
and saved as a draft..

my weekend so far?
since im sure everyone is OH SO EAGER to hear..
bleh actually i have nothing else to talk bout..
actually come to think of it i just thought of something..
but cbb now that this post so far has been so pointless..
i wasted away my friday..
had chinese on sat.. followed by LONG sleep
and then yesterday had teh run
followed by boating..
where yet AGAIN we went no where..
coz my dad ended up accidentally pulling out some pipe..
so in the end couldnt go anywhere since its sorta bit well un-piped
and dunno what's gonna be up with the boat..
so ended up discovering the joys of sleeping in a boat
thats in teh jetty..
but that's provided that you're accustomed to the actual
rocking of the boat and are not at risk of throwing up anytime soon..

and yeah..
today was just a waste of time..
and yet again..
proved to myself my great ability of procrastination
-.-
REALLY not a good thing..
and thus i gained myself another early morning..
so anyways...
nite nite..
*hugs*
-Del

Bittersweet Symphony (Two).... and Quizzes :P

No i doubt there's sequels to music...
but yeah just copied the title from the previous
since some of the stuff i felt like talkin bout
i felt sorta related..
since sorta wanted to talk bout similar things
from yesterday n today..

well anyways..
what i decided to do over yesterday n toda..
was clear out my wardrobe..
and really that involved pulling everything out
n putting it back in.. in some kinda order..
n i sorta realised..
even if my room is messy the main thing i sorta care bout
is the order of the stuff in my wardrobe..
strange..
i always turn that way first when i wanna clean the room
tho if i dont get it done
in the end my room ends up messier than i started -.-

anyways..
aside from that messiness
the main point is that
i came across those shirts..
you know the shirts such as leavers, courses you've done..
that i rarely end up wearing
but i got it in the first place
coz it was either issued
or i bought it coz everyone else would wear it too
and this is the list i came across

*tuart hill pre-primary (it's miniscule!)
*Yr 6 camp
*Millenium Kids Conference (hey i got to miss a week of school for that)
*Yr 7 Leavers Shirt
*Taiwan Shirt

and i saw my taiwan shirt..
and all the scribbles that were on it and was like
awww...
started reading the messages n i realised..
for those who had signed off their name in chinese..
i realised i couldnt read half of em..!!!
i struggled a bit with the message reading
when it was in chinese
but most ppl had written in english thank goodness..
tho in the end i had to do a few touch ups..
writing names next to the chinese names that i could recognise..
and well..
the non recognisable ones..
well they sorta just stayed the way they were..

in the end..
its just this weird thing..
that i decided round this time last yr to actually go.
and this time of the yr has come round once again..
with offers for any willing ppl to go study traditional chinese
between the ages of 14 - 27 to go back for 6 weeks
given the chance i may go again..
but not this yr..
i mite be going back this yr..
*sigh*
still dunno whats gonna happen at the end of this yr..

but i just cant believe that
no matter what you may do..
study hard or just slack all you like..
everything just passes..
and whatever happens happens...
living thru it all is life in itself..
existance just drifting if you have no idea of your own direction

and with uni applications due end of next month...
its seriously beginning to be a time of stress build-up

of which i just realised..
the more stressed i am the more i wanna go out..
oh great -.- esp when mocks are coming up
*sigh*
that's just great help

so..
bittersweet symphony..
where the hell does that fit in..?
i personally have no idea..
but isnt it so pretty?
like the fact that as a symphony
its a composition of so many things
just so many components
and bittersweet..
just the total difference in that..
the con-jumblence.. (yes.. as of now such a word exists :D)
of like the bitter n sweet..
yes i just realised im rambling...
i guess in a way i just wanna say..
that thinkin bout it its a really good thing to relate to life..
and being a musical thing it just reminds you..
that its through the arts
that expression of emotion can much easier-ly conveyed

and now..
for some fun with quizzes..
i havent done these in ages ^^
and i absolutely love [x]-ing and [ ]-ing
and it is right about now you see me boncing off the walls of my room
-.-
anyways..
quizzes...

[x] for yes and [ ] for no

[ ] Taken a picture naked?
[ ] Painted your room?
[ ] Made out with a member of the same sex?
[ ] Drove a car?
[x] Danced in front of your mirror?
[ ] Have a crush? (not currently)
[ ] Been dumped?
[ ] Stole money from friend?
[ ] Gotten in a car with people you just met?
[ ] Been in a fist fight?
[ ] Snuck out of your house?
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back?
[ ] Been arrested?
[ ] Made out with a stranger?
[x] Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?
[ ] Left your house with out telling your parents?
[ ] Had a crush on your neighbour? (thinking of where i live? atm EWWWW)
[ ] Ditched school to do something more fun?
[ ] Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
[ ] Seen someone die?
[x] Been on a plane?
[x] Kissed a picture? (yes im sad i know)
[x] Slept in until 3PM?
[x] Love someone or miss someone right now? (miss someone)
[x] Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? (love doing it..
cept doesnt seem to be that much free time available these days :( )
[x] Made a snow angel?
[x] Played dress up?
[x] Cheated while playing a game?
[x] Been lonely?
[x] Fallen asleep at work/school?
[...] Been to a club? (if-fy...)
[ ] Felt an earthquake?
[x] Touched a snake?
[x] Ran a red light? (well walked? i still cant drive *sigh*)
[ ] Been suspended from school?
[ ] Had detention?
[x] Been in a car accident?
[x] Hated the way you look?
[ ] Witnessed a crime?
[ ] Pole danced?
[x] Been lost?
[ ] Been to the opposite side of the country?
[x] Felt like dying?
[x] Cried yourself to sleep?
[x] Sang karaoke?
[x] Sucked your thumb? (im assuming i did.. cant remember anymore)
[x] Done something you told yourself you wouldnt?
[x] Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
[x] Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
[ ] Kissed in the rain?
[x] Sing in the shower?
[ ] Made love in a park?
[x] Had a dream that you married someone? (i swear it was a total nightmare)
[x] Glued your hand to something? (yeah my hand -.-)
[ ] Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
[ ] Ever gone to school partially naked?
[x] Been a cheerleader?
[ ] Sat on a roof top?
[x] Didnt take a shower for a week? (only on camps where there aint no showers)
[x] Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?
[ ] Played chicken? (What is chicken?)
[x] Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
[...] Been told youre hot by a complete stranger? (if-fy)
[ ] Broken a bone?
[x] Been easily amused?
[x] Laugh so hard you cry?
[ ] Mooned/flashed someone?
[x] Cheated on a test? (guilty ^^")
[x] Forgotten someone's name? (*sigh*.. TOO many times)
[ ] Slept naked?
[x] Gone skinny dipping in a pool?
[x] Performed on stage?
[ ] Blacked out from drinking?
[ ] Played a prank on someone? (hmm wouldnt remember)
[ ] Gone to a late night movie?
[ ] Made love to anything not human?
[x] Failed a class?
[ ] Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?
[ ] Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? ([x]sung for more than 10 hours? :P)
[ ] Cheated on a girl/boyfriend?
[ ] Did you celebrate the 4th of July?
[x] Thrown strange objects? (um what the? but thrown things at ppl? yes)
[x] Felt like killing someone?
[ ] Thought about running away?
[ ] Ran away?
[ ] Did drugs?
[ ] Had detention and not attend it? (never had detention anyways)
[ ] Dumped anyone?
[x] Made a parent cry?
[x] Cried over someone?
[ ] Owned more than 5 sharpies?
[ ] Dated someone more than once?
[x] Have a dog?
[x] Own an instrument?
[x] Been in a band? (there was this time at band camp...)
[ ] Drank 25 sodas in a day?
[x] Broken a cd?
[x] Shot a gun?
[ ] Dated a married person of the opposite sex?
[ ] Written a love letter?

Movies Survey

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 70 movies, you
have no life. Mark the ones you've seen.
[x] = seen
[ ] = have yet to see

[ ] Rocky Horror Picture Show
[x] Grease
[x] Pirates of the Caribbean
[ ] Boondock Saints
[ ] The Mexican
[ ] Fight Club
[ ] Starsky and Hutch
[ ] Neverending Story
[ ] Blazing Saddles
[ ] Airplane
[ ] The Princess Bride
[ ] Young Frankenstien
[ ] AnchorMan
[ ] Napoleon Dynamite
[ ] Labyrinth
[ ] Saw
[ ] Saw II
[ ] White Noise
[ ] White Oleander
[ ] Anger Management
[x] 50 First Dates
[ ] Scream
[ ] Scream 2
[ ] Scream 3
[x] Scary Movie
[x] Scary Movie 2
[x] Scary Movie 3
[ ] Scary Movie 4
[x] American Pie
[x] American Pie 2
[x] American Wedding
[x] American Pie:Band Camp
[x] Harry Potter
[x] Harry Potter 2
[x] Harry Potter 3
[x] Harry Potter 4
[ ] Resident Evil I
[ ] Resident Evil 2
[ ] The Wedding Singer
[ ] Little Black Book
[ ] The Village
[ ] Donnie Darko
[x] Lilo & Stitch.
[ ] Lilo & Stitch 2
[x] Finding Nemo
[x] Finding Neverland
[ ] Signs
[x] The Grinch
[ ] Texas Chainsaw Massacre
[x] White Chicks
[ ] Butterfly Effect
[x] 13 going on 30
[ ] I, Robot
[x] Dodgeball
[ ] Universal Soldier
[ ] A Series Of Unfortunate Events
[ ] Along Came Polly
[ ] Deep Impact
[ ] KingPin
[x] Never Been Kissed
[x] Meet The Parents
[x] Meet the Fockers
[ ] Eight Crazy Nights
[ ] Joe Dirt
[x] A Cinderella Story
[ ] The Terminal
[ ] The Lizzie McGuire Movie
[ ] Passport to Paris
[ ] Dumb & Dumber
[ ] Dumb & Dumberer
[ ] Final Destination
[ ] Final Destination 2
[ ] Hallowe'en
[ ] The Ring
[ ] The Ring 2
[ ] Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
[x] Practical Magic
[x] Chicago
[ ] Ghost Ship
[ ] From Hell
[ ] Hellboy
[ ] Secret Window
[x] I Am Sam
[ ] The Whole Nine Yards
[x] The Day After Tomorrow
[ ] Child's Play
[ ] Bride of Chucky
[x] Ten Things I Hate About You
[x] Just Married
[ ] Gothika
[ ] Nightmare on Elm Street
[ ] Sixteen Candles
[ ] Remember the Titans
[ ] Coach Carter
[ ] Bad Boys
[ ] Bad Boys 2
[ ] Joy Ride
[ ] Se7en
[ ]Ocean's 11
[ ] Ocean's 12
[ ] Identity
[ ] Lone Star
[x] Bedazzled
[ ] Predator I
[ ] Predator II
[ ] Independence Day
[ ] Cujo
[ ] A Bronx Tale
[ ] Darkness Falls
[ ] Christine
[x] ET
[ ] Children of the Corn
[ ] My Boss' daughter
[x] Maid in Manhattan
[ ] Frailty
[ ] Best Bet
[x] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[ ] She's All That
[ ] Calendar Girls
[ ] Sideways
[ ] Mars Attacks
[ ] Event Horizon
[x] Ever After
[ ] Forrest Gump
[ ] Big Trouble in Little China
[ ] X-men
[ ] X-men2
[x] Spider-Man
[ ] Spider-Man 2
[ ] Sky High
[ ] Jeepers Creepers
[ ] Jeepers Creepers 2
[ ] Catch Me If You Can
[ ] The Others
[x] Freaky Friday
[x] Reign of Fire
[x] Cruel Intentions
[ ] Cruel Intentions 2
[x] Hot Chick
[ ] Swimfan
[ ] Miracle
[ ] Old School
[x] The Notebook
[ ] K-Pax
[x] Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
[x] Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
[x] Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
[x] A Walk to Remember
[ ] Boogeyman
[x] Hitch
[ ] The Fifth Element
[ ] Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
[x] Star Wars II Attack of The Clones
[ ] Star Wars III Revenge of The Sith
[ ] Star Wars IV A New Hope
[ ] Star Wars V The Empire Strikes Back
[ ] Star Wars VI Return of The Jedi
[ ] Troop Beverly Hills
[ ] Swimming with Sharks
[ ] Air Force One
[x] For Richer or Poorer
[ ] Transpotting
[ ] People Under the Stairs
[ ] Blue Velvet
[x] Sound of Music
[x] Parent Trap
[ ] Parent Trap Re-make
[ ] The Birds Alfred Hitchcok or whatever is the best
[x] The Terminator
[x] T-2
[ ] T-3
[ ] Empire Records
[ ] SLC Punk
[ ] Meet Joe Black
[ ] Nightmare Before Christmas
[ ] The Silence of the Lambs
[ ] Sleepy Hollow
[ ] I Heart Huckabees
[ ] 24 Hour Party People
[ ] Blood In Blood Out
[x] Thirteen
[ ] Manic
[ ] American History X
[ ] Deep Blue Sea
[x] George of the Jungle
[ ] Canadian Bacon
[ ] Big Black Titties
[ ] How High

Total = 55 movies

nite nite
*hugs*
-Del

# 360... Bittersweet Symphony...

Lol just downloaded..
and well thats the song im listening to atm..
its so strange to be at home..
and it seems like it was forever ago..
that panda, albie n k had come over :(
well sorta nearly 2 months ago but still..

and yes today is bloggie's bday
happy THIRD bday bloggie
and this is its 360th post ^^

Poetry and Metaphors....

*Warning: Prior warning to readers this is a LONG post
and coming from me AFTER writing it..
it is pretty damn long..
and well to my standards..
(cant remember now since i havent blogged for a while
but approx)
V F Long :D
but enjoy*

ya know..
i was thinkin bout continuin my post from the other day..
but then it sorta hit a dead end..
and well
i kept thinking..
theres something special bout today..
and if not then its something coming soon
and i cant remember what..
then i think of my blog..
and i hits me..
round this time bout 2 or 3 yrs ago
i started the blog..
then i thought..
nah couldnt be musta been round september?
and its like august now..

just to be safe..
i went n checked and bonza!
(^^ instead of bosza)
it was soon..
infact..
it is tomorrow !!
so everybody sing now

happy birthday bloggie..
happy birthday bloggie..
happy birthday my dear bloggie..
happy birthday to you
hip hip hooray
hip hip hooray

ok now that we've established the fact that my blog
is getting on with its dear age..
and the fact that del is slowly losing it
since she has just sung happy birthday to her own blog..
and once even had a count up for the age of her bloggie

what to talk bout today?

lol on the note..
i decided to read a bitta the 2nd ever post on this blog..
and well..
lets just say that
IT WAS ARTS WEEK THEN TOO!!
wow!
isnt it amazing?

and for the readers who atm is thinking this is
a VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV pointless blog post to be reading.
i agree too..
so whether not you continue reading is your own choice..
i have no actual thought on what the point of this post was..
well other than the fact i realised it was bloggie's bday

guess its back to teh basics..
of when i first started..
have no idea what to say?
then write "i dunno what i feel like writing"
still dunno?
the write dunno why?
"im bored"
left to the epitomy of boredom
and still wanna update..
say what you've done today
"i had 3 consecutive assessements"
and whine all you like
"OMG.. (etc)"

in the growth of a person..
emotionally and mentally..
(physically can sorta be measured rite)
maturity.. thoughts.. personality changes
cant really be measured can it..
there seems to be no comparison
really..
unless you made a whole heap of home videos...
or had a diary journal..
or like me..
had my dear bloggie ^^
where you write thoughts n concerns..
then looking back you're like
"WOW i was such a ditz.."
or
"WOW i was so materialistic"
or
"WOW i didnt have a care in the world"
or
"WOW i was so simple minded"
or
"WOW i was such BORE"

hmm get the point?
i think you do..

but unless you see realise your own mistakes..
its harder to grow..
to improve as a person...
but to improve in anyway..
its also depends on the conscious acknoledgement of stuff..
or you just change..
and change..
either to conform
or differentiate..

hmm
just came across a nice poem..

The Camper by E. Pauline Johnson
Night 'neath the northern skies, lone, black, and grim:
Naught but the starlight lies 'twixt heaven, and him.

Of man no need has he, of God, no prayer;
He and his Deity are brothers there.

Above his bivouac the firs fling down
Through branches gaunt and black, their needles brown.

Afar some mountain streams, rockbound and fleet,
Sing themselves through his dreams in cadence sweet,

The pine trees whispering, the heron's cry,
The plover's wing, his lullaby.

And blinking overhead the white stars keep
Watch o'er his hemlock bed - his sinless sleep.

pretty isnt it?
i love the rhythm n rhryme..
tho i just realised how much i love poems
but i hate analysing them..
tho for poems i dont like i guess..
analysing them would be the only way for me
to begin to like em.

i think i mite just type up a poem from this poet
once in every while..
tho plz totally open for comments on the poem..

i love poetry...
tho i think i like more of the classic stuffs
tho i dont read that much..
so still dont have much to critise on..
tho i just love consistent flowing..
nature related.. flowery language..
ah well some i like some i REALLY dont like..

but speaking of poetry...
poetry of life?
the rhythm of the heart..
the rhyme of the world
the words of the happenings in days
the tone of ones personality
the persona just any person
the allusions of memories
the similies of comparisons
the metaphors of ...

ok i made a whole bunch of random crap..
but yes..

hmm Disambiguity..
isnt it a nice word..
as much as for those who may be pedantic
*cough* may not like its discrepencies?
(oh i SO know what im talking bout
plz feel free to correct me of any incorrect word usage
im more on a random spiel than thinkin bout what im riting
and let alone worrying bout word choice)

mm thinkin bout poetry is making me think of lit.
and lit reminds me of my essay
which then leads me over to the thought of the text.
The Lost Honour of Katharina Blum...
written by Heinrich Boll..
a text which had won him the Nobel prize for literature..

of the whole entire thing
the only thing i like is the water metaphor..
i LOVE the water metaphor..
and damnit.. it has very little significance
when it came to CHARACTER ANALYSIS
well there was some relevance but still
it was only slight..
actually i love it so much..
im gonna type it..
and then comment and then YOU can comment ^^

2
If this report - since there is such frequent mention of sources - shouold at times be felt to be "fluid," we beg the reader's forgiveness: it has been unavoidable. To speak of "sources" and "fluidity" is to preclude all possibility of composition, so perhaps we should instead introduce the concept of "bringing together" of "conduction," a concept that should be clear to anyone who as a child (or even as an adult) has ever played in, beside, or with puddles, draining them, linking them by channels, emptying, diverting, and rerouting them until the entire available puddlewater potential is brought together in a collective channel to be diverted onto a different level or perhaps even duly rerouted in orderly fashion into the gutter or drain provided by the local authorities. The sole objective here, therefore, is to effect a kind of drainage. Clearly a due process of order! So whenever this account appears to be in a fluid state in which differences in and adjustments to level play a part, we ask the reader's indulgence, since there will always be stopages, blockages, siltings, unsuccessful attempts at conduction, and sources "that can never come together," not to mention subterranean streams, and so on, and so on.

isnt it lovely?
the idea that truth is but fluid..
rite.. i just realised why i wanna talk bout it..
the fact that i sorta have said ZERO on the text since we started studying it..
and well..
when i wanna say something either someone else says it..
OR well..
teacher decides to close discussion
OR
the fact that i dont speak up in the first place..

the idea that truth.. being fluid..
it moves n interchanges..
put it in a container and it takes another form..
place words, parts of truths in a different context..
and you could shape and create something else..
channelling it in the land?
you have ancient channels and salt lakes..
empty and drained of all truth..
nothing but empty lies..
but the subterranean streams are but underlying hints
of gathering we have the corresponding versions of reality..
each person's interpretation of the truth
and the drains provided by local authorities?
but the covering up and elimination of truths..
whether it be evidence for scandals..
or private disclosed confidential information collected for gov. usage..
and what of us as humans?
we are 80% water...
we each in ourselves have our truths..
as we ourselves are vessels
we have our abilities in causing blockages..
creating other "truths" or
whether we spill the truth is but our choice
and the notion that through our senses
we ourselves take in more and more water as we age..
(am i over doing it? ah well i love this metaphor ^^)

ah well late now..
nite nite
*hugs*

Wang Le Ta... Obsessions

Mmm..
post is song inspired...
(Mei Mei - Guang Liang)
well that n the fact that i've been thinkin bout this recently..
and well.
the song sorta reminded me n stuffs..
so bleh..
oo and it fulfills my double post promise ^^

To have an OCD
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder..
according to wikipedia.com
(lol.. too lazy to google it nowadays..)
the individual must have either obsessions alone...
or both obsessions and compulsions...
quote wikipedia:

Obsessions are defined by:

Recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress.

The thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems.

The person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action.

The person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind.

Compulsions are defined by:

Repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.

The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive.

to be obsessed..
to have an obsession with anyone or anything..
looks like not gonna make double post.
ah wel cont next time

====================================
obsessions..
to be obsessed..
i dunno the idea of being so entranced by anyhting
seems so :S
tho think about it
as any youthful person..
obsessed is really a word which is thrown round
quite easily..

bleh..
looks like a dead end post..
dont feel liek talkin bout it anymore
cya

Life Is Short.. As Long As It May Seem

Yep long time no post..
it seems strange..
when i post regularly there's bound to be plenty to say
but the less i blog..
the harder it seems to think of somethign to say..
tho i guess could possibly be the fact that
when blog regularly its sorta an ingrown anticipation
constantly.. well not entirely constantly
tho quite alot.. thinkin bout what to write next
but without the consistency..
it just doesnt cross my mind bout what to write next anymore

it just seems so much harder to start writing again..
tho the issue that i keep thinkin bout these days...
really is trust..
to what degree would you believe people..
without the trust there.. would you still take their words
as like the gospel.. the words of god..
or whatever your interpretation of that may be..
as for gullability.. do you just trust so easily?
once bitten twice shy..
what of those betrayed...
time over and over again..
whether the offender may not perceive it as a betrayal..
the offended.. in their eyes..
is it likely they'll trust again anytime soon?

you can say its a way big bad world out there..
that there's no one to support you..
building up that guard..
not wantign to trust so easily..
would you ever let anyone reach for you..
let anyone in just as close ever again?

but for those who've always been lucky
and been able to trust
what's in it for them in their first betrayal..
something that may just be seen as such a large scale thing..
since all their life they've been lulled in a sense of security
that the world can be kind..
and yet the most recent one they've trusted has turned out
to be the not so nice

whether you choose to trust or not..
you still float along in your life..
and then..
for those who believe their world is living hell..
day after day may be just so long..
that they have to struggle through

to trust or not to..
its your choice but
with the a sense that if you can lower the wall around your heart..
and let your feelings thru..
express em.. and have someone listen
listen fully and sympathise..
just remember oen thing..
you are lucky to have at least one true friend

and looking on an optimistic view..
for those who've yet to find someone they can entirely trust..
turn around and look at the people around you..
and for good ness sakes your family.
usually one of the first sources of trust between people..
thats aussuming you've a lucky happy family
dont take what you have around you for granted..
thank them for the smallest things they've done..
say that you love them
remind them that you're thankful for their presence..
thank them for jsut being there..

if not..
just that i wish and hope for you
to find someone that you one day trust enough to confide all..
if not all then at least to have someone to talk small things thru..
small, medium, large.. someone out there will understand..
just dont lose hope..
and if you still dont entirely trust..
here's a hint..
dont just let it all out at once..
you'll regret it.
no matter how long you've known the person..

nite nite
*hugs*

PS.. i seriously wonder how my ending bit can entirely
in an optimistic view -.-
ah well murphy's law :P

My dear Ophelia....

Wassup all my cherubs?? Lol, anyhow this weekend has flown so quickly for me! Like always, homework hasn't even been touched...CRAP! I've got an english oral tomorrow, which I haven't really written more than one line for. I HATE UNSPEAK. Its a good read...for leisure, but studying it is like hell. And I mean it! Its so damn *censored word* complex, in that every sentence has a reference to it, and the list of footnotes is exactly 30 pages. I swear this Poole guy is crazy man. Its so dense and jam packed with ideas that five sentences into a chapter, you've already forgotten what the first sentence was about!

I have three tests this week only, so its alright. But Geography man! I'll have like no time to study for that (like always) because I'm going to be busy trying to work out UNSPEAK and my applic epw during the week. GAH. At least I don't have six tests this week, or eight tests like a friend from PLC did (may I ask you, do you know anyone who does art, music and calc as a combination? I swear that girl is CRAZY).

And you might be wondering why I'm posting in Adella's blog instead of my own again? Well too bad, I feel like invading Adella's blog. (Because, usually after I post, she posts, hahahaa...lets hope it'll happen again this time-- No pressure! =P) I have pictures of Adella which I could post (muahahah), but its on my other computer, and I'm extremely lazy to move my ass onto that computer, so maybe next time? =)

Anyhow I wish goodluck to anyone who has any tests this week! Yay. Ok I'm off now, ciao.