Day 3

another day past..
learnt how to play mahjong :P
so far havent really learnt much in the ways useful
ah well..

had the opening ceremony
and also had the intros..
well the official ones
so actually had to stand up and speak
*shrudders*
dun wanna go thru that again
i still really hate public speaking
but then again who doesnt?

Seems like ive been here for ages
but then again
its only the 3rd day
and i dunno
just the whole routine thing
i dunno
maybe i just like routine
everything just takes so long
and like bleh

i dunno i feel like saying something
but it always feels like theres some1
behind me watching..
liek it jus feels so unnatural

i got into the top class btw
Class A :P
go me..

there is like no one online
and i have another hour here
unless i ask for permission to go back to the dorms
but theres nothing to do back there
i wanna play sports
but the gym etc is all taken up by the uni students
some ppl are out playin bball atm
but like id rather not join

me and my room mates were in this class earliest
and since everyone arrived
its just gotten so busy and loud
its just weird
im prob just used to having the whole area to myself

dun really have much to talk bout
the temp round here is ok
cold but not freezing as ppl said it would be
i wonder how my bro is doing in class?
ah well maybe i worry too much

theres such a range in ages of ppl here
i dunno
like theres the youngest as i think is 14
even goes 21+
well i think thats it..

yesterday we had aerobics and yoga
but it was sorta weird since it was in chinese
ah well
same pain tho..
so no difference there
havent really heard from anyone
other than mona who's online every night

ne ways
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

Hi from taiwan - Day 2

well im in taiwan now obviously
just a quick note to say hi
if you wanna talk..
i'm online every tue night
or at least i should be..

the flight was ok..
nothing really special
but my expectations were
sorta to be like the school boarding house
it's sorta round bout similar
but sorta like below my expectation
i dunno its like..
well main thing is
they dont have irons..
and i dunno
im sorta used to having and iron to use
so it'll just end up being sorta like
either drying the clothes by hang drying
to avoid creases
or spin dry and wear them creased

i dunno
maybe ive just made a
huge deal outta this no iron thing
majority of things is alright
i just had my placement test
and well there will only be 2 classes
which sorta makes it obvious which one ill be in
since ppl either cant speak/understand/read/write/chinese
OR...
they can

umm...
some ppl are just too loud
and the rest are pretty nice
of the food i dun really know since ive only had dinner
i sorta g2g now
nite nite
*hugz*

G'day

G'day folks, I do believe you all recognise who I am. I am the legendary Scarlet wahahahahah. As you all know, Adella is flying to wagga-wagga (aka Taiwan) at precisely 1am; 13 December 05 , and she shall be away from us for a dreary six weeks.

Wahahahahahaha I am the king of delpole's blog!!

fare thee well :D

well goin tomorrow nite..
wishin everyone a happy hols if i dun blog again
and well
maybe scar mite blog..
since she asked to..
and well i sent her an invite..
so might hear from her..

btw scar..
if you do..
plz dont change any of the previous posts..
since i dun get how this add members thing works :S
*hugz*

4 days left...

well 4 days till taiwan
and im not ready
theres so much to do
and such little time
but i really cant be stuffed
i feel all lethargic and stuff..

hmm..
funny eh?
my dad these days is like
"dw as long as you get in UWA"
like trying to lower the pressure and all
but tehn again
he jus gave me this thing a few days ago.
its like a CD for the comp..
and its..
"interactive medical encyclopedia"
hmm..
doesnt matter what course eh?
on the up.
it'll help me for h bio next yr

my sister's graduated yr 7
yr 8 next yr..
scary huh?
i seriously cant imagine seeing her so much
well actually i noe how its like
i mean being in same primary and all
but i think i forgot what its like
and now?
have to adapt all over again
well not that i dun see her at lunch once in a while
but bleh

last few days ive really been on the whole
"emotional rollercoaster"
i mean seriously
ive had HUGE moodswings
esp yesterday
i think i managed to go from happy to crying
and being pissed off
in like 2 mins
and it happened so much

i seriously have NEVER had such huge
difference in emotions
a mean i may be pissed off all day
or jus be happy
but not like huge changes
that happen so frequently
ah well

anyways
thats the update for now
byes..
if i have time
ill try update as much as possible
in taiwan
*hugz*

counsel..

hmm whenever there isnt much to talk bout
and i feel like blogging
its always so hard to start
but there i go
ive started
now i can start going off on my random tangents of nothing-ness

went to ah-gong's house today
for phoebe's full month
well she's now officially 1 month old
doesnt feel like a month ago when i found out
i had another baby cousin
but then again
trying to actualli remember the morning i found out
seems like 2 yrs ago or something
:S

nm much happend
coz we sorta came late as usual...

things were as usual..
all the kids in the living room
whilst the adults were practically shouting at each other
in the kitchen/dining room
and well there was the whole
"you should study *insert uni course* it'll be a good job"
OR
"you should become a *insert some high paying job*"
-.-"
im still worrying bout my subject choices
not bout my future career..
well ok my subject choices should be
directed at some part of my career
but not at a family gathering >.<



====================================================
EXAMS has fini
YAY

but now im still stuck with 2 days off..
which im glad of..
and i wanna go out
but i noe its not likely tomorrow
bleh there goes one day

you know..
its realy stressing sometimes
you feel like discussing things
but then again finding the right person
for talkin bout each topic i feel like talkin bout
its jus so annoying
you wanna talk bout something
but then again you want em to understand
some1 who has the similar thing
like if they dont understand
you mite as well be talking to a bloody brick wall
or how bout..
even a bloody pet?

its weird
when your life is divided into all these little worlds
of your own..
little worlds which you are a part of
but then again not every1 you know is in
life would be easy if all of them were a lil connected
but anything stuffs up
and all of htem collapse
but in disconnection
anything happesn to one
you can seek resort in another
hiding may not be the answer
but in the time it takes to heal
somteimes its worth the avoidance

===========================================
not in mood for talking..
tho all i can say..
is i duno i just feel so empty
and hollow

nite nite
*hugz*

Wishes...

Well..
as of a few posts ago..
cant remember how long..
but if not
ppl or should of heard me
talkin bout wanting an older brother..

and well in relation to my msn nick atm
[Wishes can come true :P]
well i sorta did get an older brother today :P

its my grandpa's sister's grandson..
so sorta my cous but not exactly
and he's older than me.. by like 1 yr :D
so im happy now :D
it'll sorta be the closest
i can get to havin an older bro i think
and he seems pretty nice
but he dont speak eng
or canto >.<
so the catch is sorta the language barrier
i have to actually use my mando
and he speaks teo chew fluently
and i only understand a few words
of which i can only say
like some swear thing :S

hmm
i love my cousins so much
i guess i am in quite a close knit family thing
but its HUGE
ah well im lucky then :D
VERY lucky that is

you know i was contemplating the other day
like you know how some ppl say
happiness is sorta inversely proportional
to the amount of wealth you have
and i think
its like
ok first thing would be for the hard working ppl
theres the whole no time
coz ure busy trying to get money
and then also
with the next generation
wouldnt that mean
that if spoilt by parents
with all materialistic things they need
its like they always have this wealth to fall back on
therefore they dont really have to worry bout
whether or not they're gonna fail in life
coz it seems like therez always something there
the back up which makes us secure
and would mean that we would put less effort in
in comparison to those who strive to rise out of what they are
to reach something
the goal to attain something that is like hard to attain
means you have to work hard and put heaps of effort in
and if attained it seems more valuable
than if soemthing you gain is simple
like its given
you think it less worthy once you have it

like having a trophy would mean more if
you had worked so hard and competed and actually won it
in comparison to jus buying it from some shop
to be tailor made for you
or like just rigging it so you will win
like through cheating or soemthing
the trophy wouldnt be as valuble in ure own eyes
since it is something that has no memory of hardship behind it

so like
if you have more wealth..
then as a child of parents whom worked hard for the money
and then if the child is love by the parents heaps
and spoilt as much as possible
then if they want something esp materialistic
then they get it..
what would the child learn from that?
they wouldnt do any thing
dont work hard at all
and still get what they want
and then in the end get nowhere
hmm why does this sorta slightly say bout my family?
:P
anyways
like soon the child is gonna be bored
and not interested with material things
there really isnt that much in them
since they prob have something the same
(unless they're totally gullible towards the media and marketing stuff)
and wont need it
what they still turn to
or want would still be simplistic
love, caring, friendship..
just simple things which everyone can enjoy
no matter what context
(yay i used the word "context")
or maybe not.
since there's still some stuff in some countries
that might not be as ideal as everything i see
in the whole slight eurocentric views
:S

which would that be one of the slight downfalls
in each of the dynasties in china?
ok totally offtopic
but like they always fell after some generations
i guess you could say that its just one of the possible factors
like the princes would always have easy
apparently
jus making TOTAL assumptions here
(since im prob out when it comes to asian history)
and then when the duty of actually ruling came
they became so selfcentred and pleasure seeking
since nothing materialistic could seem to satisfy them?
like they would have seen silk all their life
and gold and other what not
so in finding things that would amuse them
they would start to neglect the state
and sooner or later they brought the state down
by the simple neglect and ruling coz ppl
just up-rose and took over..
or won battles and stuff..
:s

you know
i think i would possibly like debating
if i didnt hate public speaking so much
and not the whole possibility of arguing
bout something that is against ure personal belief
like i actually expressed something today
and it felt good

maybe i just love the feeling of feeling smart :P
not that i am is the thing
but who doesnt enjoy feeling superior in comparison to the inferior
but then again with superiority
always comes with some form of responsibility
or expectations of something
UGH

ah well
life aint perfect
but sometimes things do happen

few weeks till taiwan
it just seems so unrealistic
and hopefully ill update as much as possible
tho i doubt it
since i recently realised
we're living in a uni IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
well not exactly nowhere
but its like rural
>.< which lowers the chances of having net cafe
(apparently)

hmm what else to talk bout?
actually
gonna sleep
have family foto day tomoz.. (my dad's side)
its also pheobe's full month thing :P
that is she's 1 month old now
so nite
*hugz*

Love <3

You know..
ive just realised something else?
i rarely love much..
well ok i LOVE music
and i do LOVE someother things..
or at least i hope i do..

but love is something i dont really express much
like i love my sister and i love my parents
but its seriously something i dont vocalise
fine.
so you dont have to vocalise everything
but then again think of all the tragedies happening today
or at least all the tragedies fed to us by the media
think bout the bombings and stuff
if some1 you loved died..
would you feel bad for not letting them know you loved them
for one last time when you last saw them?
or jus worried the fact that the ppl you love
have suddenly left your lives??

and i noticed
well that is recently
i dont use the word "love" much..
or do i?
(meh something to talk bout in these exam times)

like im fine with saying love
in mando..
i say to my parents
i love them everynite in mando before i go to bed
but i just..
i dont say love in canto.. :S
and i dont say love in english either
like well the fact that the main person
who i can say i love you to in english is my sister
could be a main factor
but it feels weird to say i love somebody
in canto or english
fine i can type out "love"
but then again its something that i dont generally
think about or even discuss..
hmm maybe a few times but hey..
still not a word i use daily
(well if i do..
i dunno maybe i say it unconsciously..
as in without realising it..
not as in i say it whilst im unconsious)

ah well
that was a random ranmble..
for no particluar reason
but i feel like talkin these days
:D
maybe its the fact that the only ppl i talk to
are to ppl i see just like 30 mins before exams each day
followed by 3 hours of silence
then going home
in which the process
im struck quiet since my mum's listening
to her viet news radio in the car
(AND at home)
and drops me off
im home alone
and the only possible source of talk
would be via msn
which btw ppl dont forget my fone fear..
i HATE fones
anyways
besides the point
THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO
my sister comes home
and she closes the door to her room
and tells me to get out wen im in there
plus the fact that both my parents and my sister
now have a reason to be asking me why im talking to them
(why aren't you studying at the current moment?
you should be studying not wasting ure time talking to us)

hmm
another example
yesterday:
went out to the bank with mum
met up with dad who was gonna go to ct with mum and maybe me
then dad changes his mind
Dad:NO you should be home studying for exams
Me:but i wanna spend time with you
Dad:we have plenty of time to spend together
you have no time before exams
me: -.-"

ok fine. its jus the ct
and it IS exam time when i should be studying
BUT I WANNA GO OUT
im sick of facing the walls of my room
for christ's sake i have a max attention span
of an hour of fully or half heart-ed-ly studying
before i go read soemthing else

there is no one to talk to
and everytime i turn to talk to someone
either they cant (exam, work, school)
or they tell me to study
UGHHHHHH

*frustrated*

maybe chinese tomorrow will give me some time to talk
WAIT..
its not like i talk to them that much anyways !
-.-"
GRRR

the only ppl i get to talk to
is when i go to the resto
and majority of them speak viet!!!
>.<
i understand but hello
i dun wanna talk viet when i cant talk to anyone else
and most of the time it takes me 10 mins to think up a sentence

*annoyed*

anyways got caught by dad online jus then
so betta go
nite
*hugz*

Post #259

why is it that i love pracs..
but i SUCK at physics pracs?
this doesnt make sense...
or the fact that there are no instructions..
ah well
i think i did pretty well with the h bio
and the lit oral was delayed
since not enough class time today
but that means i have to do it tomorrow
which is still bad coz that sense of forboding
is SO annoying

====================================================

miss my bloggie...

ok exams in 3 days approx :S

done minimal study
which is BAD
and not recommended but i cant concentrate
>.<
i mean at sometimes i even start checkin up wats on the NEWS
thats how bored i am

ah well back to my study..

Update on my Life

*sigh*

atm im having a failing attempt at studying..
ive taken out my stuff
in attempts at studying like a billion times
but everytime i get distracted by something or another
i think ive concluded that
the lighting in my room isnt bright enough

on top of all of that my sister has friends over
next door..
and i can hear them TALKING and PLAYING MUSIC LOUDLY

i lost it again on fri nite..
well that is lost my mind
i mean i regret it
but it made me feel so much better on sat mornin
but then again i feel bad
and took it out on my sister
by sorta screaming and shouting at her..
and she jus ran outta the room
and i jus continued screaming and crying..
for like the next 20 mins
until my parents came home
which i think was coz my sista called

==================================
well
days gone past..
and ive had 2 assessments over and done with

tho surfing the net i came across this

Big Brother is about to become monkey business.
Inspired by the television reality show, Czech public radio and television broadcasters have announced that on November 7, they will begin airing a new show that will follow the lives of four gorillas living together at the Prague Zoo.

The show, to be called Odhaleni (Discovery), will see the primates -- one male, two females and one baby -- battle it out for a grand prize of 12 melons, a delicacy for gorillas.

"What the gorillas do is up to them," said Prague Zoo gorilla trainer Marek Zdansky.

Czech Television will set up 15 cameras to monitor the gorillas, and viewers and listeners of the show will be able to vote via phone messages (SMS) for their favorite contestant.

Proceeds from the show will go to helping save the wild gorilla population in Africa, organizers said.

when ppl start turning to gorillas
for forms of reality tv
its really the time they should stop altogether
i mean there is something called the "discovery channel"
ok..
so there are things called circuses which have been running for YONKS
which include animals as forms of entertainment
but like if they're resorting to this..
and ok its for a good cause
but still
if you wanna see apes and monkeys
GO TO THE ZOO

it would do you the good of some exercise
there's FRESH air
and you STILL help the apes
donate money and ADOPT one
instead of sitting infront of the box...

on the up for today
i got 100% for my chem prac ^^

tho on the otherhand i found a fear of mine
which would be confrontation in general
i can be truthful
but then again i can lie
or i jus avoid it totally
and end up in a huge mess
or some misunderstanding or another
WHY cant i keep my mouth shut at times?
or at least choose my words more carefully

oh well
what can you say?

nite nite
*hugz*

Heather Lamont... last one *tear*

Well...
there goes the last Heather Lamont ill ever attend
as a student..

i wish i had entered more stuff
*sigh*
and its not like i got any placings
:(

well i hope i get a house point
for getting second in debating (my team did)
(chair person i dun debate)
out of two -.-"
and also our tute entry got 3rd
and helpin out as section leader in textiles n craft

i mean..
jus need 1 more house point..
and then ill get a FULL house colour ^^
not one of those half colours..
but i havent even gotten a half colour ever before :(
always missed by 1 or 2 points
but then again u only need 3 to get colour or half colour
depending on yr

my poetry and fotos got nothing..
but then again..
there were a HELL of a LOT of PIX and POEMS

the only thing that annoys me
is that some fotography entries
have the entrant who is "supposed" to take the foto
IN the foto... with BOTH their arms showing
so HOW the HELL did they take the pic?
*shakes head*

i wanna vent bit more bout heather lamont
but i really cbb
coz i cnat actually remmeber what i wanted to say
and plus i feel liek readingg
so bye
*hugz*

Annabel steals mobiles O.o

well as the title of the post suggests..
im assuming a connection
between Annabel (our pet dalmation)
and my fone going missing..

well thing is it happend so long ago
it was like back when i was like in yr 6 or 7
we were all gonna go to the beach
and before we left the house
i forgot to get a towel
so i left my fone on the seat of the car
and went to get stuff
whilst every1 else was still in the house gettin ready
and left the car door open

after the session at the beach
i noticed my mobile was missing
so i assumed i lost it at the beach :(

then this sun...
whilst my dad was cutting down this tree
(bird's paradise)
well more of giving it a HUGE hair cut
(looks like this stump with 2 leaves sticking out)
and he came across the fone that i had lost so LONG ago..
the only conclusion?
a) my sister was on a rampage of hers
and decided to get me back by getting rid of my fone
b)Annabel stole it..
and hid it there

the second though unlikely under normal circumstances
seem highly likely
there are bite or more of HUGE scratch marks on it
which could have been damage caused by her teeth
when biting it
or she found it under that tree later on..
but still evidence points to annabel
since no 1 was outside at that time
and the car door was open...
ah well
another thing to add onto the
list of unexpected things bout belle

*she LOVES mandarins
*and most other fruits
*she FARTS
*she eats the roll fillings
and leaves the bread
*she eats the spring roll fillings
and leaves the rice paper
*she allegedly "took" my mobile

:S

belle is SO CUTE THO ^^

==============================================
(cont)
the yr 12s have left already
well yesterday
they didnt have "muck up day"
instead they had "fun" day
but the satirical and video
and formal assembly were teh same
i think :S
(since i had to leave early due to music lesson)
the satirical really wasnt that funny
and in p 1 and 2 the prank announcements over the PA
was pretty saddening..
i mean there wasnt an inch of humour in them

watching the yr 12 video really hit me
like i felt this whole realisation that its
NEXT YR
any1 in the film could be me next yr
i just didnt want to admit
that so fast that 4 yrs have past
and once again
im thrown out into uncertainty
the whole insecurity of new things
the breaking up and moving on

i mean
how likely will any of us will stay together?
ok
so we can stay on the optimistic side and say
yes we'll keep in touch
but how likely is that?
we dun even call each other?

we rarely go out together
and even if we do
there is taht whole organising thing to go thru

ok we could TRY
but sooner or later
thrown into a new lifestyle
we'll get "TOO BUSY"
we forget this and that
and with all the new burdens of work
or uni
or tafe..
or whatever we end up going to
its jus not going to be the same
we wont be seeing each other at least once a day
or even once a week

i noe its a pessimistic view
but how realistic would it be to say
that we will be as close as we are now

=============================================
ok
4th continuation of this post..
although its the 3rd official part..
i lost the last bit due to comp stuffin up
and recover post didnt actually save it -.-"

weekends gone past..
and i had my vocal recital..
it went ok..

and had my voice lesson today
and she said i did "exceptionally well"
im jus wondering if she's tellin the truth
or jus givin the whole confidence boost
with heaps of reassurance that im doing well
like she seems to do
but hey
voice lessons are really an up for me
i actually enjoy em
:D

=================================================
like my 5th continuation of posts..
mite as well turn it into a mini series..

i dunno whats up with me today..
either im sick
or like im OVER stressed bout prob nothing
or i feel lonely
or ...
i dunno

and i mean even during h bio said my face was red
and its been liek this the whole avo i think:S
not sure but it feels like it
am i overheating? O.o
but that doesnt make sense

i could have a temperature
i dunno

its HEATHER LAMONT tomorrow
my last one *crys*

well, scarlet, steph cullinford, shree and i
are section leaders for textiles n craft
nithya, gar and chewy are section leaders for photography

ive entered quite a few things this yr
mainly photos and "attempts" at poetry
as well as debating..
where im jus reserve/timekeeper for the trojan team
which i hope i will remain as timekeeper

stayed an hour after school today
to help display the stuff in my section
there were SO many BLOODY ENTERIES for CARDS
which usually is empty
coz most ppl dont realise such a section exists
has suddenly got a BOOM in entries
ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SOMETHING ENTRIES
that is 160 something
UGH
and the majority of them were like MINIMAL effort
eg. one had a smiley face and thank you on it
THATS IT

marking the names off CARD after CARD after CARD
i dun wanna see another card in my life

and SO many ppl
jus randomly entered stuff they made years ago
-.-"
HOW POINTLESS???
i mean there was even one of those PASTA necklaces
like those pasta things you make when ure in preprimary?
there was one of those

GRRR

anyways
gonna go to sleep now
nite nite
*hugz*
(and actually publishin it AT LAST)

friendships...

why is it..
that i never seem to have any relationships with ANYONE..
that isnt based on something more than school
or something common like htat?
like eg. if we're talking school..
once school's over...
then there's like zilch in common?
the only thing to talk about WAS school
and since its nolonger available to talk bout..
then thats it..
sorta the END of the friendship..
not that i dun try to keep it up..
but ppl jus fade outta the picture..

or maybe its jus im not much of a conversationalist..

===============================================
ok that was like 5 days ago..
im trying to finish of posts that i start now
like to have it as a good habit
to finish things you start off.
tho i doubt its gonna last long

tho y do i tend to finish the posts 5 days later.

well
jus got back from the rivercruise..
THE main social event of the yr..
well thinkin back i didnt really take it seriously
concluded from my lack of organisation for ANYTHING

*sigh*

well the nite went well
with quite a number of "fun" songs :P
eg. ppl had requested YMCA as per usual
tho there was a request of "rock a by a bear"
from the wiggles by some1
who ever it was at least it was still fun
brings back childhood memories :D

the dress which i collected yesterday
since it had to be ordered
coz teh only size left in the shop
was a LIL too loose at the back..
so ordered 1 size down..
and during the WHOLE of the nite
the back was STILL falling -.-"
at least i didnt take the 1 in the the shop
but still
so annoying..
coz i danced then would have to stop
just to pull the back up

mona and kev were So cute..
tho the didnt seem to intereact much :(
no pdas..
tho im not sure if i would like to have witnessed any
in the first place..
they did slow dance once tho :P
well for bout half a song

and spent the rest of the nite with us..
with occational sitting off and i assume talking..
since it was in full view of loadsa ppl

sweet and all
but it was annoying that he was there
it felt a bit awkward :S
soz mona

like i felt bad or a lil guilty
that like i was dancing like that
in front of a guy..
ok..
i dance like that most of the time without care..
but usually the guys dun matter.
coz im neva gonna see em again
but kevin.. dunno how long he's gonna be round :S

my feet hurt now..
lol prob from all that jumping IN HEELS
i cant believe that we actually made the boat ROCK
like it literally bounced off the water
the front of the boat that is

i did see jono and wee dher..
and bonnie got in a funny incedent..
tho im not sure of exactly what happend
some guys managed a near crowd surfing
until they were pulled down by this sailor dude

in total..
it was fun
tho woulda been nicer to have it LONGER
and also maybe a larger dance floor
tho this boat in comparsion to the 1 we took on the IS
was LARGER with tables of 6 and chairs on each side
and they should have let us go out the front of the boat
but it was blocked off :(

the $1300 dress... was HELL SHORT
-.-"
what is the point in buyin somethin SO expensive
made of SO LITTLE cloth -.-"
i think she was TOTALLY ripped off
it didnt even look that good
but oh well..
her choice in what she spends her money on
i jus find it a WASTE of the money AND dress
and its highly unlikely she'll wear it again

*sigh*
during some of the rc
i sorta wished i actually had a partner
but tehn again
i noe id still hate the awkwardness of it
coz think bout mona and kevin
and they see each other reasonably often
well think so :S
i mean its either dance
OR
sit and talk
and how could you talk for THREE hours straight?
well it is possible
but bleh
if you dunno the person itd still be awkward

ugh..
what about the ball later on?

oh well
can always go without
and not have to entertain some random guy :D

no1 really blogs anymore..
but then again its coz of blockages
and also the whole
dun have time coz i should be studying
but hey
i find it reasonably relaxing at times
well sorta more of mind babble
jus less thinking and trapped-ness
in mind of thoughts

*yawns*

my feet hurt
:(
but then its my fault

i stuffed up my chem test today >.<
and i rememeber earlier today
i was like "yay its the rc tonight"
and now its like
"HUH? its over already?"

well i betta go sleep soon
coz im gettin tired AND a headache
i assume from dehydration

there seems like nothin to talk bout
(btw jus typin
coz im waitin for my comp to finish scanning)

my parents must be SO relieved taht im not goin to afters
and plus i would still be their "innocent lil baby girl"

like during the avo wen we were gettin ready
i could sorta see the worry-ness
and sorta sadness in mum *Sigh*
i sorta started feeling guilty

its scary how time flies
i can still remember teh start of the yr
in term 1 when we were talkin
bout how EVERY1 was talkin bout the rc nonstop
and now its OVER

we also had house farewell as well
and we sung "hear you me"
but edited the words
so that "may angels lead you in"
to "my angels guide your way"
and i was singing it
and i nearly started crying
i mean
its so emotional the fact
that time passes LIKE THAT

ne waiz i cant be stuffed
waitin for the scan to fini
cancel it and sleep
nite nite
*hugz*

Small, Small World - update on who's been spotted..

ugh you know how bad i am at seeing ppl in the st?
but then again sometims im not..
hmm whatever..

jus writing up an update on how small this world is a usual..
i saw cvitanovic at the show dia..
lol
well as well as other ppl from school who worked at the show..
isnt it saddening that it seems to be the highlight of the yr in perth?
or at least it seems to be?
oh i also saw ben in tha hols..
he went to my primary school..
ugh so annoying wen ppl used to be around your height..
in a few yrs shoots up to be SO much taller than u..
but then again in my case it occurs most of the time..
since most ppl ARE taller than me anyways..

hmm come to think of it..
wonder if david ching is still in ccgs :S
coz thats where i heard he went to
oh well. whatever..

=========================================
ok .. its been 5 days since the beginning of that

and you know WHAT is SCARY!?!?!?
ok..
the earlier bit of the post i wrote 5 days ago..
that person..
david ching?
i had this post open..
and was procrastinating the finishing of this post..
when a convo popped up from sukey..
she had said "this is david"
im like O.O
TALK about coincedence..
its scary even..
and the thing is i havent even talked to anybody bout him
or anythin..

and tru he did end up goin to ccgs..
and is STILL there..
and takes nearly the exact same subjects as me..
its scary..
too much of coincedences..

ah well..
"Small World"
:D

nite nite
*hugz*

Bombing and Natural Disasters = DEATH + Survival Stories

I guess today im really havin a "bloggin spree"
i seem to have or more likely..
WANTING to say stuff..
and really these are the only things i feel liek talkin bout atm..
saddening things like death.. and MY PROBS..
hey.. wat can u say? its my blog and i write what i feel :D

Nice how the whole earthquake thing happend so recently..
which has happend in north eastern pakistan
when teh whole thing jus got ova with the tsunami in SA asia
earlier this yr..
well more of last yr since it was boxing day..
but still
it was a HUGE thing..
and tehn teh bali bombing..
interesting how all i seemed to mainly hear bout on the news
is jus single digit number of AUSTRALIAN ppl dead..
well i jus found out the total dead was around about 20..

saddening?

*sigh*

and what of the london bombings earlier this yr?
i missed them by 3 days...
if our tour had stayed..
we might have been travelling on those busses on the way to shop..
and then BOOM

and the bomb threat on eiffel tower..
what is the point of these ppl?
WHAT is it they want?
protest?
like many questions..
WHERE do you draw the line?
are all these bombings their form of protest?
or are they jus undermining some thing else?

WHAT do they want?
an ulitmate chaos?
scariest thought is jus like what i read in this article
in the paper on the plane to vienna..
EVERYTHING is so accessible..
everything is on the net..
and even if you access it you could access under some random username
people are learning things.
is our great technology also our undoing?

is our technology that great?
so great that we destroy all we have with what we create?
what is the whole meaning of this?

but i guess.
one good point..
well obivously since death and injuries isnt one..
is that there are always those great inspiring survival stories.
as well as medical trimphs eg. fiona wood
(i think? :S) that did that burns thing
and the emergency services also become of use.
but really..
how depressing is the thoughts
of losing a loved one in an instant?
and what if you had a fight with them earlier that day?
ure last memory of them was in an argument..
and you dont even get to say goodbye.

=========================================================
you know the possibility of not being able to sleep
could be the fact ive been turning too much of this stuff
over in my mind..
=========================================================

*sigh*
maybe i should jus go..
nite nite
*hugz*

Quizzes Galore...

Have you ever..
1.Been kicked?Yes but not hard or painful.. tho i feel sorry for some receivers of mine
2.Been punched? No not really
3.Been asked if you were brother's/sister's? yes.. well obviously i HAVE a sister..and obviously her friends ask if im her sista.. -.-" AND ive been asked if im some1 else's lil sister.. as in "IS (insert name) your brother?"
4.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend? No
5.Removed your clothing? well.. if i havent then HOW tha HELL would i change?
6.Been offered a cigarette? No
7.Been offered drugs/alcohol? Not Drugs.. but alcohol yes :D
8.Gone skinny-dipping? No.. well at least not to my memory
9.Walked in on someone while they were changing? Think i have.. cant remember who..
10.Walked in the rain without an umbrella or raincoat? most recent time.. mainly majority of time on music tour.. tho main memory was in Montreux wen the rain was worst with no shelter
11.Been outside between 3 am and 4 am with at least 6 other people? No
12.Lablled someone? huh ?
13.Been called a goth? No.
14.Bitch? Yes
15.Punk? No.
16.Prep? Prep?
17.Slut? Yes. Quite a few times.
18.Whore? No.
19.Hoe? No.
20.Sleazebag? No.
21.Douche? No.
21.Brat? Maybe behind my back when i was younger :P
22.Nerd? Not to my memory. Which these days is fading
23.Dork? No.
24.Wannabe? No.
24.Kissed someone from the same sex? No.
25.Played truth or dare? Yes
if so- taken a dare and successfully accomplished it? Strangely they tend to forget to give me dares since by the time its my turn ppl cant think of anything anymore :P
- taken a truth and actually told the truth? Yes.
26.Played spin the bottle? No.
27.Performed in some way in front of an audience of 100 or more? Yes
28.Pretended to someone on msn that you forgot an away message When you really just ignored them? No.
29.Talked behind a bestfriend's back? No.
30.Cursed while a teacher was standing right beside or behind you? Try not to curse.. well actually.. i try not to at times.. tho sometimes it jus comes out :P but hey teachers dont seem to be around :)
31.Seen a member of the opposite sex naked? Yes. Don't ask.
32.Lied to someone of the opposite sex to get closer to them? Well.. white lies or part truth ? :p but i dun think it was really to get closer to them..
33.Pretended to be scared during a movie so you could cuddle closer to someone? No.
34.Pretended to be bad at pool so someone you liked could "help" you? Well. i Was bad at pool.. still sorta bad.. but learning and No havent had "help"
35.Tanned completely naked? No.
36.Been to a nudist resort/beach/community? No, tho we nearly got to one during a p.e. walking along the beach lesson, we were told to stop before we reached the nudist beach. (thank god)
37.Gone through someone's stuff that you shouldn't have been going through? No.
38.Shoplifted? No.
39..Seen someone shoplift? Yes.
40.Punched someone? Hmm.. not really.. not punch punch.
41.Kicked someone? Yes, too many times.
42.Stolen from a teacher? Well. No.
43.Stolen from your school? Well sorta. didnt intend to but left it at home so literally "permanently" borrowed since i was in yr 7 and i cant go back to return it.
44.Cut class? Not really.
45.had an eating disorder?No.
46.Worn sunglasses on a shady day? Yes, in yr 9 when i had that random eye infection >.<
47.Been on a soccer team? Jus for p.e. in yr 9 WE WON ^^
48.Dived off a diving board? Yesss!
49.fallen off your bike? Yes. But too long ago.
50.Failed a subject? Yes. IC n GnT and maybe physics :(

One or the other?
1. Music/TV: TV
2. Guys/Girls: Both ? :P
3. Green/Blue: Blue
4. Pink/Purple: Pink
5. Sleep/Stay Up: Stay up
6. Summer/Winter: Summer
7. Spring/Fall: SPRING !!
8. Night/Day: Night
9. Hanging Out/Chilling: What's the diff? :S
10. Friends/Lovers: Both.
11. Cold/Warm: Warm.
12. Fast/Slow: Depends on what but prob fast.
13. New/Old: New
14. Dark/Light: Light
15. Sparkle/Shine: Shine.
16. Peach/Plum: Peach.
17. Apple/Orange: Both?
18. Laundry/Dishes: Laundry. I HATE DISHES
19. Hugs/Kisses: Both ^^ *sigh* tho you can have hugs from everyone ^^ so leaning more to hugs
20. Ketchup/Mustard: Ketchup
21. Glass Half full or Half empty: Half Full.

My Favourite?
1. Colour: BLUE.
2. Number: 12
3. Food: just food in general ^^
4. Non-alcoholic drink: Water
5. Alcoholic drink: Baileys.. well dun really have much of a choice at home now do i?
6. Snack: ANYTHING
7. Movie: dunno :S
8. Actor: None
9. Actress: None
10. TV Show: None
11. TV Channel: 10
12. Cartoon: None.
13. Disney characters: Mulan, Pluto ^^ Mickey n Mini
14. Song: Too Many
15. Singer: Dun have 1
16. Band: neither
17. Group: ditto
18. Sport: Most sports ^^
19. Book: Books are good.
20. Board Game: -
21. Card Game: Cheat, Big 2(cant even play that properly -.-"), Spoons. and that other random one oh yah peanut butter and jelly.
22. Smell: Babydoll, some fragrances from fragonard and Echo Woman as well as many more :P
23. Flower: Lotus :)
24. Magazine: -
25. Item of clothing: Jeans
26. Item of jewellery: Earrings, anklets and Necklaces
27. Time of the day: 8 pm
28. Day of the week: Fri
29. Week of the month: Does it really matter?
30. Month of the year: Feb :P
31. Place to be: "Home is where the heart is" Home would be the place to be :)
32. Thing to do in your spare time: MSN ?
33. Thing to do on the weekend: -

Do you..?
1.Cut yourself: No. Not purposely.
2.Kill people: WHY would i? No.
3.Plan on killing any one: Never did.
4.Hate a lot of people: Maybe some.
5.Like a lot of people: Yes.
6.Get grounded often: Never grounded
7.Yell a lot: Ask my family :P
8.Cry a lot: Read post below
9.Cry if your parents died: I'd be worried if i said No. Of Course I'd cry
10.Want to die: No.
11.Steal: No. Why would i?
12.Smoke: I'm not the 1 ruining/shortening my own life tho plz. dun smoke around me.
13.Go to church a lot: Well.. compulosory?
14.Love school: Once. a long time ago.
15.Wear dark colours: If it suits my mood.
16.Dye your hair: No. Not at all.

Randomness
1.Unwrap a starbust with your tongue? Never tried.
2.Lick your elbow? Physically Impossible.
3.Manipulate people easily? Never tried intentionally.
4.Sing well? I wish. Ask lina She HATES it :P
5.Open your eyes underwater? Yes.
6.Eat whatever you want and not have to worry? At times :P
7.Iceskate? Yep. Not sure bout the number of times ill fall tho :P
8.Sing in front of a crowd? Yes
9.Whistle? Yes. Stuffed round today.. wolf whistled at a staff member as a joke. and a customer looked at me strangely. i think he thinks im less :(
10.Be a bitch sometimes? Can be.
11.Walk in really high heels? YES.
12.Eat super spicy foods? Definately No.
13.Play an instrument? Yes. A few. Tho Jack of all trades :P
14.Block out what someone is saying if you don’t want to hear it? At times.
15.Act like you like somebody you hate? Yes.
16.Attract a lot of boys? I wouldnt know. Nor would I.
17.Skateboard? Dun have 1.
18.Sleep with lights on? Hallway light always on. But i dun mind pitch darkness.
19.Multitask? I wish sometimes.
20.Touch your nose with your tongue? Definate no.
21.Fall asleep easily in a car? Depends on tiredness level.
22.Catwalk? Dun think so. BUT would be fun to try :P
23.Do the 1,2 step? Huh?
24.Blow your nose? Yes.
25.Do the cottoneyed joe? What's this?
26.Tell when a guy is gay? Prob some fit in stereotype, some dont >.<
27.Play DDR and not fail? Definately Not.
28.Surf? Tried long time ago. cant remember result. tho most likely fell off :P
29.Make yourself cry? No.
30.Fit in your locker? Def no.
31.Taste the difference between coke and pepsi? Sometimes.

Bitching and Stealing

========================================
finishing this off..
but it was started a few days ago
========================================
something which i dun understand here..
y do ppl bitch?
and
Y do ppl steal?

ok in like those first world countries and stuff..
where ppl dun have anything to eat..
so they resolve to stealing i understand..
sorta..
but Y in our society?
mainly..
well in the suburbs around us?

ok..
now bitchin?
ugh..
hate it but then again so easy to do?
i jus hope i dun bitch that much
tho some ppl *shakes head*
but y would they do that?
hate? or jealousy? or...
i dunno..

=====================================
sorta lost the drift of things..
but ill try
=====================================

hmm realised i could slightly be bitchin bout ppl..
but im making a comment..

maybe thats what they as themselves are thinking?
and the thing of "bitching" labelled as a girl thing right?
-.-"
they still talk..
question: do i know enough guys to draw that conclusion
prob no..
*sigh*
but hey..
there are still words that go round..
Eg. "slut"
tho then again guys are most likely to be using em :P

but why is it that females more likely to bitch?
here's some of my thoughts?
a) we have need something to talk bout
b) we have a longer extent of want of talking in comparison to guys who tend to grunt alot.. (esp wen it comes to my relatives -.-")
c) we can talk whilst working.. its part of multitaskin :P
d) for some.. the thought of down troddening some1 else makes them feel empowered?
e) i said it before.. jealousy..

what is the point of this post?
i personally do not know..
oh well at least its finished :P
ne waiz
*hugz*

WARNING: LONG EMOTIONAL POST (#250)

ok..
lost my last post..
have to type it up again..

last thurs..
spent the day doing paperwork..
driving around getting this done that done..
and we stopped by the ct..
and we bought a pedometer for dad..

this morning i woke up early..
and found that he had left it so i thought..
hmm let me try it..
(as slightly inaccurate as it will be since its set for my dad)
stayin at home wouldnt really work..
so i decided to help out at the shop..

nothing really to do cept act as a messenger between the shop and resto..
good i guess walking increase pedometer :D

but there seemed so be something i noticed..
i always walked the front way..
that is along the st where there's lots of shops and restos..
and i realised..
many shops = many windows.
many windows = many reflections
AND I COULDNT STOP LOOKIN AT MYSELF IN THE REFLECTIONS

therefore today's question:
am i EXTREMELY self-conscious or jus SELF obssessed in they way i dress?

funny thing tho..
in the morning..
i neva care bout teh way i dress..
well not entirely true..
coz i dun always wanna look like a total hag
but i walk out the house with MINIMUM care of my image

===============================================
THANK god for recover post...
nearly had to restart a third time..
i jus realised that it was there -.-"
===============================================

ok back to waht i was talking bout..

-.-" lost the drift of things..

umm..
oh yah and whilst i was waiting for mum..
wen we were bout to go home..
it was a while before
i realised was staring at the reflection of myself on the car window
-.-"

worrying...

anyways..
since i dun feel like talkin taht anymore..
i just thought bout something

what is up with some ppl and their one tracked minds?
ok ok
there is the female multitasking thing
but hey..
u dun go and NEVER talk to some1..
then out of the blue talk to them
then ignore em after you get the info you want..

maybe i jus cant get over this topic.
but i seriously find it annoying
you dont not talk to some1 then go talk to them jus coz u need help.
ok a person should be helpful and all
but still
isnt it rude?!?!
get what u want..
then after that say bye and start ignoring them all over again?

*sigh*

im going round in circles..
and the blog post that i still havent published taht i spent days on..
since i had to keep starting it ova and ova
coz of the windows closing due to some error or the other..
i dunno what to do with it..
i dun feel like finishing it either..
and its jus gonna sit there..

oo this is my 250th post!!!

happy 250th post..
hmmm saddening my life is isnt it?

what else is there to talk bout..
its 4:21 in tha arvo..
and i bored to death..
my organic chem booklet is only half finished
and its the only subject ive started on..

ooo
heres something to talk of..

I CANT SLEEP

i dunno HUGE problems sleeping these days..
not the whole i cant sleep coz im thinking of some1 prob..
but more of i cant get to sleep
it thinketh that it could partly be stress..
stress of gettin things handed in etc..

not sure if everyone noes..

IM GOING TO TAIWAN!!!!

tho not a perfectly good thing...
since its 6 weeks of study in my SUMMER HOLIDAYS >.<

back to the sleep thing..
its weird coz like i wanna sleep...
and wen i try to sleep i think ...
i think of parents
i think of school
i think of life.
i think of my sister.. :S
i think of music
i think of annabel
i think of resto
i think of jane mann and the whole brain tumour ting
i think of the tragic things on the news
i think of EMBARESSING memories
i think of memories in general
i think of TOO many things..
and then somewhere along the way..
i drift into this random state where im still thinking..
but im also asleep.. but not asleep asleep if u noe wat i mean?
like im still conscious and thinking and all
but rested..
i dunno how to better say it..
then later on
i think of im gonna wake up
i think of no back to sleep
i think of no wake up
i think of back to sleep
i start aguing with myself whether or not to wake up !??!!?!

what tha?

and then if i continue sleeping..
i wake up later on..
still realising i havent really slept slept..
look at the clock and its O.o
FOUR AM
-.-"

and sometimes wen im in tah half thinkin sleeping thing..
my sister kiks the door
(her bed is now blocking the door..
therefore her leg can reach it)
and its this HUGE BOOM
and it wakes me up >.<
at like TWO AM

I CANT SLEEP
AGH!?!?!

and also..
ive noticed..
i sorta tear..
like i dun fully cry and bawl out and everything..
and its not the whole shruddering watery nose thing..
its jus tears that keep falling..
drip drip dripping..
falling
down down down
but i dunno y i cry?
*sigh*
there really isnt anything to cry about really..
nothing i feel emotionally saddened about...
jus this whole numbness when ever i think of things sad..
yet i "cry" wen im trying to sleep
a silent weep if you can call it that..

its a numbing weep..?

im really confused i guess.
and sometiems it feels like theres no1 one
round to talk bout anything to..

could be overall stress..
but i dunno

and i mean thinking too much...
really can literally drive you insane..
like you get all these mixed emotions..
going from one thought to another..
sorta goes from a dull lack of thinking on the computer..
to a numbing flood of thoughts and emotions..
plus the fact taht my sight is gettin worse due to spending my time
in front of the comp this whole hols..

i need a hug :'(

ah well..
like ive told so many
life goes on..

i can do fine by myself..
and jus go on as if nothing happens..
but what does all this end in but drifting??
and where is the drifting me ?
lack of study..
and the belief that ill get good marks even if i dun study..
which nowadays dun work that way..

well ive reached a conclusion i guess..
the source of my not studying..
but how DO you study?

you know?
sometimes thinking of somethings..
jus runs shivers up my back..
there's this cold feeling..
a lacking of something..
this coldness..
this strange alien feeling..
maybe its jus the loneliness.
its not like my sister cares
and dont you just love that quote..?
"you can be in a room full of people and still feel as lonely as ever"
i dunno if i really love it..
but it seems so true..

time passes..
time may change things..
but somethings never change..
some too fast
too fast to grasp..
but what caused the change?
what is the catalyst..
or the peservative?
time keeps turning
but us people caught within the spokes..
may be tossed around
swinging from one personality to another
or stuck at the bottom remaining unchanged at all

and dejavu?
i dream up these things..
and some of them come true.
question is..
if we were reincarnated..
maybe this life has happend before
and we were sent to correct something
is it that our dreams are meant to remind us that something WILL reoccur
or tha something should be prevented from happening?
are things we dream things that should happen or not?
as real as they feel in the dream?

*sigh*

like i said before.
thinking can drive you insane..
and i still..
need a hug...

have a good avo..
*hugz*

hols..

u'd think in tha hols
id blog more often..
guess NOT..

nothing seems to have been happening..
well other than tha random outbreak of emotion a while ago..

i havent done an inch of hw..

i spent the first three days of hols with family..
well more of spent the evenings doing so...
cant remember them exactly..
tho i noe i went to sizzlers
and also the dragon resto for seafood steamboat buffet..

went to the ct and nb on wed..
saw ron on the train to ct..
went with mona, scar, sheila, gar (tho left a while later)
oh and steven(mona's bro) was tehre a while..
till we got to nb..
had korean for lunch..
cant remember the rest of it..

thurs..
went to royal show..
late again >.<
sheila, maxy, scar and me..
walked around a while..
had some of that "twisty" chips..
watched fireworks..
went out to nb afta
and ate some congee..
god its been ages since i ate out..
got home late..
well it was the latest i eva got home from goin out..
not sure wat my parents think of it..

fri..
cant really remember it..
i think i stayed at home

sat..
went out wit mum to show..
spent most of the arvo out there...
all we did was spend the whole time in the pavilions
lookin at stuff we could buy..
since we had 2 free passes in..
so mite as well use em
i bought 1 of those halos..
was walkin across the street from train station
and had ppl call out
"look an angel.. look (name of person) therez an angel over there"
-.-"
wonderin if i shoulda bought it and worn it at all..

sun..
stayed at home

mon..
woke up early :S
which is unusal for me
and at 6:30..
which is like unbelievable for me in tha hols..
went out to shop..
stood at cashier till bout 11:30
picked up lina from home..
went out to ct and nb
with penny, ron, raymond
and jemmy later on afta his exam
i learnt how to play pool is one thing..
otha than that didnt get anything outta tha day..
went home..
and spent most of last nite reordering stock with mum

and today.
went out with parents in the morning
back to the resto..
got told by my grandma heaps to help out wit the resto
but each time i was outside there was nothing to do..
then spent the evening jus wondering between shop and resto
helped out a bit with the checking of ordered stock

thats bout all that's been happening
nite nite
*hugz*

BREAK DOWN

lost it today..
*sigh*
just got too much...

but fine now..