Define. Me.

was thinking again.
well i guess you can do a whole lotta that
esp when you're sick and at home
and should be resting cept you cant sleep

i was thinking about what defines YOU?
what defines us.
like some may say to judge people
by not who they are around you
but by their friends.
others its the actual person themselves
irrespective of who they spend time with

what makes a person who they are?
their experiences?
their opinions?
what they choose to do?
their background?
their family?
their restrictions?
their freedom?
all the small things they do?
the big decisions they make?

and intermix that with the free will idea
that i swear i probs failed with
its worse than my darwin one ><
(gah. i didnt even mention darwin
IN my darwin essay.. pointless ne?)

anyways since im on essays.
got my anth essay back yesterday.
and i swear
seriously anth really doesnt do any good
towards my attempts at breaking
my bad procratting habits
i wrote it the day before/night/morning
it was due
and that includes continuous procrat
and sleep between those times
but anyways
on 1 and half hour sleep
the result?
and unbelieveable grade and comment
HD and a comment that basically says
that my intro and conclusion
argues a different point
from the point my body essay argues
and my last body para is under supported.
i dunno but from all those comments
i woulda placed a lower mark

anyways
so how would you really discriminate
to judge something its worth
but worth n value in itself
is soemthing that's entirely relative?
mm i think im a pretty relativistic person
depends. depends. depends.
everything seems to depend
but then again it has its pluses
and minuses (mainly indecisiveness)

but back to the main topic
true that worth or value is relative
and well then what of self view?
that would be different to others see
and what of the view of other's
affecting your own self view?
like the whole "being-for-others"
thing from sartre.
where freedom is lost on the opinion of others
where we objectify ourselves
that what we choose to do is affected
by another
and i remember saying this before i think?

so are we what we define ourselves to be?
but in that sake it leads us to put our own limits
or that our limits are external
that would mean we're not free to act
as we choose to as we're constrained
to what we're expected to be
and to be disappointed
would suggest a prior expectation
and not having it fulfilled

and to question
to wonder, testing limits
does it not it put things at risk
to risk is but to gamble
on the possibile outcomes

im tired
why do we sleep?
ive slept all day
to recharge
to recover
to escape
to enjoy
to be lazy
to waste time

nite
*hugs*
-Del