Tuesday, April 26, 2005

anzac day...

anzac 2day...
as usual had parade down 4m st george's tce to langley park..
had 2 get up at 7 4 it =o=
seriously i cant even remember wakin up at such a time..
guess i gotten used 2 sleeping in :P

ne wiaz..
got there on time 8am stood round by miself at st george's tce..
since i didnt noe ne 1 there..
then found rest of ppl..
formed up..
waited till round 9 and parade started..
and once it started i realised how much i missed tha anzac parade...
not that i like tha actual ceremony which is dead boring..
but tha actual parade part...
it felt so good.. wit all tha whole marchin 2 a drum and such..
and then there wz that whole pride thingy..
like ppl watchin whilst u march past..
everythin wz goin well...
cept tha 2 ppl infront of me werent capable of keeping in step..
-.-" so i had 2 stay bak a bit 2 avoid being hit..
otha wise:
tha horse poo wz on tha otha side so i wz thinkin yay...
no horse shit 4m me this yr..
and then i thought 2 soon..
wen we turned tha corner tha horse shit wz on mi side of tha road
UGH ewwwwwwwwwwww
loved and hated it..

-------------------------------------------------------------
April 26th

u noe i realised 2day...
so far every anzac day ive been to has been in tha sun..
like its a definate day tha sun is gonna shine..?

2moro is bak 2 skool...
>.< and we have instrumental camp..
and then tha week afta all tah assignments are due...
well h bio and ic then gnt tha week afta..

yay went out 2 dinner wit mi parents last nite ^^
but mum got bit sick 4m food >.<

ne waiz..
got glasses 2day...
>.< they hurt wen i look at close things..
so onli gonna wear in classroom ^^
and guess wat? tha frames are blue..
but tha interestin thing is that wen i went 4 tha testin wz that tha person said 2 me.. "u if u came 2 us earlier we woulda said u wouldnt realli need them.. but i think that u came jus at tha rite time.. coz ure jus slightly needing them now"
-.-"
ive been like this for about 4 yrs

ne waiz..
bye
*hugz*

Thursday, April 21, 2005

ugh ive had tha most random dreams tah last few nites...
*shakes head*

ne waiz..
less than a week b4 skool starts again...
and i havent done ne hw...

can we go out on tue?
tho thing is gettin hw doen ova tha we -.-"
coz im bz all otha daiz...

u noe i concluded 2day that im EXTREMELY careless and clumsy...
its horrible..
tho i sorta taught miself how 2 hand wash clothes wit normal soap 2day...
wat happend wz i wz wearin a white knitted shirt...
and i had 2 go 2 skool 2 pay 4 fees wit mi mum..
but decided 2 go 2 resto 4 lunch b4 i went home...
but turned out it wz bz so i had 2 help out..
(i dunno watz up..
maybe i should start expectin that everytime i go out 2 tha resto
that ill end up doin some work or tha otha..
coz serving in a miniskirt or sometimes spag tops aint realli hygenic or ideal
coz i didnt expect 2 work in tha first place so didnt think bout but then forced 2 work..)
ne waiz
bak 2 story..
i ws pourin this red sauce in2 dish..
managed 2 get it ALLOVA mi top AND skirt -.-"
thing is it happend 2 be a handwashable...
so HAD 2 stop and sorta spent tha rest of mi time hand washin mi top...
-.-"
but hey i didnt have 2 work..
but then dad a lil annoyed...
good side is i learnt how 2 handwash onli prob is tha shirt wz still wet...

last few daiz i cant remember..
oh wait..
i nearly got run ova AGAIN afta sendin mi sista somewhere
-.-"
talk bout being totalli oblivious 2 things round me..
*sigh*
like i cant realli think of ne thin cept those REALLI random dreams i keep havin...
maybe i mite jus rite mi dreams down some time... :S
not sure..

hmm i rite em here maybe?

well these are tha last 4 that i actualli remember..
1 - i spent a day in nb.. go shit in a toilet which isnt in a cubicle but in tha middle of tha street :S and then meet up wit andy spend time wit him.. and he walks me home.. well bak 2 tha resto ALL tha way 4m nb and then kiss and hugs and all that.. and then i hand him a copy of mi resto's menu but turns out that tha menu has pix of james and ann on it and me in a qi pao aka cheung sam :S

2 - i live in tha boarding house.. and then im part of some club that has a meeting at langford house in tha skool.. so afta skool i walk 4m sumner to langford and then as i walk further in i get trapped in some random maze wit tha rest of tha members of tha club and we keep gettin attacked by this random water thing.. :S

3 - i go 2 some random party at some random's house.. seems 2 be some kind of dormitory.. where heapza ppl live.. and therez all these drunks..and at tha bak of tha house there is like this lake sized aquarium they have of HUGE tropical fish.. and then this guy and i go out 2 tah balcony and we start talkin bout some random subject.. and then some1 pours all this cordial at us.. tha cordial seeps thru tha floor boards and contaiminates tha water of tha aquarium.. and strangely coz of tha contamination all these fish start dying.. and we try 2 save them (wat tha?)

4 - im at skool and its recess.. we're in tha canteen discussin some random topic :S and then up tha skool driveway comes some car dun ask me wat type of car but i noe it wz red.. ne waiz.. turns out 2 be andy and go out 4 a talk.. end up walkin down below hadley hall.. suddenly therez liek a forest there... sit down and talk and stuff :P therez a bench there and we talk all day till sunset *sigh*

ok i dunno y i rote em down..
but ne waiz..
ne waiz not gonna go ova and delete em coz then im jus selectin wat i rite...
judgin 4m wat im dreaming its sorta realli scary..
well nto scary but freaky..?
or not :S
ne waiz..
well 2 outta 4 has andy in em not sure if its good or bad....
but betting its due 2 reminiscence..
doin 2 much thinkin of past yr or 2..
plus tha EMBARRESSING dance round this time last yr
*shrudderz*
and tha definate no longer slight possibility of havin a repeat of tha performance

ne waiz
gettin late..
nite nite
*hugz*

Friday, April 15, 2005

ooo
therez recover post now ^^
tho now i cant see tha colour thingos...
oh well..
its not like i use em ne waiz..

spend tha day 2day at home..
by miself whilst lina wz out wit her friends...
-.-"
ended up havin 2 work 4 mi parents whilst she wz out..
and finished jus half an hour ago (10pm)..

reminiscence..
ive found that last few daiz havin trouble sleepin..
-.-"
all that happens is i keep thinkin up random things
that have happened in tha not 2 far past..
mainly of things that happend within tha last 1 or 2 yrs...
*sigh*
annoying...
and i mean some of those moments were mainly mi most embarressin...
>.<
jus great i got 2 practicalli relive them..
and otha than that..
therez also tha all possible senarios of wat coulda happend if i had done or said somethin diff at that moment...
truthfulli its jus 2 much thought 4 mi mind 2 slow down and fall asleep 2...
maybe i jus dun feel safe enough 2 actualli sleep...? :S

ne waiz...
y is it that we find it harder 2 sometimes 4get our worst moments..?
i mean tha happier 1s i cant realli seem 2 remember..
there more vague compared to those many BAD moments...
maybe its just that i cant seem 2 accept or let go
wat i actualli DID or SAID..
*sigh*

wit mi day 2day..
i swear im SO glad in skool still..
i seriously couldnt deal wit life it mainly consisted of workin in some shop..
restocking and stocktaking..
relabelling.. repricing.. rearranging...
-.-"
and i onli did 6 hours worth and i wz SO bored..
there is no way 2 express how BORED i wz..
oh well..

howz every1z holz goin...?

on tha fact that mi sista got 2 go out..
im not allowed 2 go out till ive gotten all mi hw done
-.-"
so i should realli get it done..
but realli cant seem 2 be stuffed...
like in tha mornin..
and i sit at tha desk..
and i jus feel like watchin a movie
or jus goin online and/or findin somethin 2 read..

ne waiz.
sleep now
nit enite
*hugz*

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

4gotten...

well i thoguht of somethin i wz gonna talk bout yesterday but 4got bout..
but now it seems like i said b4 insignificant...

well ne waiz...
it wz on tha nite of that tour thingy i went on...
tha thing wz at tha end...
they gave out free stuff..
like every ticket 4 taht tour got a free fish and wine...

and like...
it sorta turned out 2 be a mini stampede afta they announced that ppl could start gettin their free stuff...
i mean couldnt there be NE order AT ALL???
im talkin bout middle aged 2 elderly ppl...
pushing and running 2 get a FISH AND a MINI BOTTLE OF WINE..
if u think bout it..
and thinkin as ppl as same as u ..
i couldnt help but like feel a lil ashamed..
i mean it wz a FISH
u dun run and push ppl ova jus for a FISH and like 300 mL of wine...
and me bein on tha side line wz pushed ova...
-.-"
and i noe if scar reads this she'd sorta say no offence but u were in tha way and its ure own fault u got pushed ova..
but i jus cant get ova tha fact that there is 1 Fish and 1 bottle of wine per ticket..
and it IS guarenteed that u get it..
so Y tha rush?
thats wat i dun understand..
its not like there wznt enough 2 go round..
THERE WZ.. jus Y tha rush???
oh well..
prob jus a thing i dun think ill understand 4 now..

well 2day wz spent at home again..
so nothin realli 2 talk bout..
mona suggested 2 go out wen i talked 2 her on msn..
tho i dun think ne 1 reads atm..
so *shrugz*
if ne 1 does and has a suggestion 4 ne ideas 2 go out...
feel free 2 TRY and organise it or jus put on tagboard and i try 2 think of someway of workin it out ^^

i STILL havent started on mi holiday hw yet *sigh*
i should start it..
tho i havent bothered yet..
maybe 2moro or day afta..
tho ppl do say 2moro neva comes..
but then quotin scarlett o'hara in gwtw 2moro is anotha day...
so nite nite
*hugz*

Monday, April 11, 2005

well onli a few daiz in2 tha hols..
and i guess its jus feels like an extended w/e...
like it doesnt seem 2 end but it feels like i have 2 go bak 2 skool 2moro...

ever had this feelin that whilst talkin 2 some1..
and then u said somthin..
then unnoeingly seemed 2 have offended em wit out noeing..
and then they sorta dun talk 2 u..
and u wonder..
"wat did i do rong?"
and then later think.. wat did i say rong?
i hate that feelin..
esp if tha last thing i said wz prob wat had offended em..
but i mean that mainly happens on msn i guesss...
like u dun see tha person's reaction...
and u dunno if tha person is still tehre..
and then they jus put away then offline..
its like -.-"
no reaction nothin..

well so far havent done much..
friday wz an ok day..
skool still obviously..
had choir early mornin..
scar hurt her poor wrist by slippin wen we were "playin" soccer...
technicalli i dun think wat we were doin would be counted as "playin"
we cant play soccer end of story..
mi leg hurts coz i had a bruise and then some1 kiked tha ball in2 it again..
and then it rained....
so we went indoors and i discovered mi likin 4 badminton..

sat wz a day at home..
nothin 2 do..
mainly slept tha whole day thru..
due 2 mi lack of sleep coz of tha term..

sun..
woke up EARLY again -.-"
mi parents had booked us 4 an "autumn day" tour of areas near perth...
it wz like 1 day long..
we went 2 a grape farm/orchard place..
then winery.. cant remember how 2 spell company's name...
then went 2 an orange farm..
had this lil tractor ride..
we sat like on this trailer of cartons which wz attatched 2 tha tractor..
and it drove us thru tha orange orchards
we had lunch..
and played ping-pong at tha place
while we were waitin 4 otha ppl 2 have their lil ride thing...
and mi sista and i sorta lost 2 this lil guy who wz like younger than mi sista -.-"
i finally learnt how 2 serve properly by tha boy's dad...

then afta that we went to this fish farm..
they mainly had baramunddi...
so sad...
like they "killed" tha fish by puttin em in ice water..
liek coz they were tropical fish so it wz 2 cold 4 em..
so they went in2 this hibernatin/dead state..
and mi sista saw this fish that started gaspin 4 water..
and like its gills expanded and stuff..
SO rank..
and afta that mi sista sorta went vegetarian...
then afta that we went 2 tha sand hills in lancelin...
they said we could go sandboardin..
but they didnt botha 2 mention tha whole $40 extra u had 2 pay..
so like no 1 did it..
so i jus rolled down tha sand hills...
oh did i mention tha fact that 99.9% of tha ppl of tha tour elderly?

so then i wz looked upon as if i had tha mental age of 5 afta that -.-"
i mean y cant i be happy that im happy there?
if ure simple minded ull be amused by such simple things...
and i mean wats rong wit that?
it could mean i have less things 2 worry bout ^^
afta all ignorance is bliss...
and thru lack of knowledge u could jus be as happy..

NE waiz..
i wz covered in sand..
and wen i went bak on tha coach i wz sorta told off 4 havin that much sand on me..
:(
so i wz forced 2 get off tha bus and dust it all off..
then got bak on tha bus wit tha bus driver still glarin at me..

went 2 a beach as a stop off where they had busses 4 tha elderly ladies..
coz they were bound 2 need tha toilet on tha way bak coz it wz liek a 2 hour dive...
so took some nice pix...
tho gettin 2 dark -.-"
afta that we went bak 2 nb 4 dinner which wz included as part of tha tour...
ate at jade court i think its called :S ...
and it wz then wen i sat down that i sorta realised i had sand still in mi pockets..
so i went 2 tha bathroom 2 empty out mi pockets...
OMG there wz SO much sand no comment..
plus tha fact that mi hair wz filled wit 4m rollin down tha hill...

so yah that wz mi sunday..
and 2day..
mainly 2day wz stayin at home and watchin movies...

hmm..
next topic of tha day..?
dunno yet...
cant think of ne thin 2 talk bout..

hmm..
i noticed..
i dun like it wen i have 2 start convos..
its strange..
its like i sorta wait 4 ppl 2 say somethin first..
othawise i sorta jus stay quiet...
well that is SOME of tha times...
not that i can remember ne times that i have started much convo...

ne waiz..
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*
-.-"
wat happened 2 mi new yr's resolution that id sleep at 10 pm everynite this yr..?

Friday, April 01, 2005

well realli tha thing that i realli wanted 2 talk bout last few times had 2 do wit trust...
and i guess now afta all that time..
it jus seems more and more insignificant..
(-.-" i started this post like 2 weeks ago.. cept i sorta saved draft and left it there..)

hmm last 2 weeks...
cant remember ne of it at all...
*checks diary*
~well i had a flying camp..
~stressful weeks of skool wit assignments and tests AND failin of tests -.-"
~easter break w/e thingy...
~startin 2 go 2 orchestra rehersals *shrudderz* mr gallo
~first yaa meetin

Details -

well flying camp went ok..
cross between rec camp and flyin...
got 2 fly in cessna 152s..
did aerobatics...
spent practically ALL sat in pool at faibridge village (thats where we stayed)
and wen i wznt in tha pool we jus spent our time roaming round..
i mean it wz so much fun..
like minimum restrictions..
tho then again tha times i wz wonderin around i wz sorta by mi self..
since mi "buddy" wz walkin in front of me talkin 2 tha guy she obssesses and loves..
but we still had bball.. and catch sorta game..
and water fights ^^

well stress i dun think i need 2 say ne thin bout...
tests faile so far:
*GnT investigation
*IC investigation
*chem test - chap 4
*GnT mid term test

easter break...
well skool finished half way thru thur..
went 2 ct wit jade and dia..
watched hitch..
hitch lasted longer than we expected...
went bak 2 resto...
met up wit kat and gar there 4 dinner...
ended up sittin in tha bak since not enough tables..
so went in and started eatin whilst andrew stood there and cleaned fish tanks...
seemed bit awkward..
but othawise good ^^
went 2 diaz house afta..

kat left afta..
so jus me jade dia and gar..
slept ova...
next mornin..
had breakky in diaz LOVELY garden..
then spent some time round house..
had an easter egg hunt ^^
then went out 2 ccgs and played tennis on their courts...
kev also went along..
and kev sorta beat us all...
*sigh*
but then he plays tennis all tha time..

orchestra rehersals...
nearly had 2 play solo 4 mr gallo on wed mornin >.<
but then cant get outta it on mon arvo..
HORRIBIBBLE!!!

yesterday..
yaa meetin..
it went quite well...
tha place wz quite far 4m tha trainstation..
waited in cold in middle of ct in tha evenin 4 taxis coz i sorta had 2 go bak 2 skool wit boarders.. but taxis were like an hour late at least..
and i still REALLI feelin guilty of gettin boarders introuble 4 goin home wit them on tha taxi :'(
i guess compared to tha small business last yr its more realistic..
and like this yr we have 2 pay rent and get ppl 2 invest in us by buyin $2 shares..



k.. time 4 some random ramblin bout thoughts...
somethins i guess i dun realli notice unless i take mi time...
like i noticed weeks ago afta a voice lesson..
i wz sittin a tha round about..
and there wz this car...
driven by this azn dude....
and he stopped in tha pick up and drop off area..
i thought ok..
since therez no 1 else who needs 2 go thru i guess its ok that he wanna stop there..
maybe he waitin 4 his daughter whos still in sport..
then anotha car comes..
stops behind..
then student gets in2 second car..
but second car cant get thru coz azn dude in his car still not drivin away...
-.-"
i mean there IS a car behind u..
its sorta a 1 way drive..
go round again or somethin..
wait 4 a while..
azn dude still not drive away..
tah car behind starts beepin at tha car infront...
still tha azn dude no reaction..
tha person in tah otha car GETS OUT
and knocks on tha window of tah azn dudes car...
then he FINALLI realises tha person behind wants him 2 move..
-.-"

i mean if ppl judge groups of ppl by actions of minorities...
how do we look?
like some ppl can become prejudice against some ppl btw a few ppl act..
and personalli i find it sorta astonishin..
i mean it is simple curtesy..
it is a PICK UP and DROP OFF..
which means ure not meant 2 stop and PARK there in tha first place..
and wen ppl wanna get thru u LET them THRU..

and that realli is like in tha locker area in tah mornin..
ppl sit IN tha way of ppl who need 2 walk past 2 get 2 their locker...
and i mean mines in tha corner place..
so therez ALWAIZ a group sittin there..
and it REALLI annoys me tha fact that i have 2 walk OVA ppl..
2 GET 2 mi locker..
i mean u could jus move couldnt u..?
since URE in tha way?
oh wait.. they were there first..
so they dun have 2 botha do they -.-"
yah rite..
i think like its jus manners they should move...

hmmm
i think thats enough 4 this time..
ne more and i think ppl get bored of readin.
so nite nite
*hugz*

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

TALK

GOD i serioulsy need some1 2 talk 2...
i mean ive nearly done everythin..
talked 2 scar..
but she went off coz shez either goin home or doin hw..
every1 else is offline doin hw..
maybe i should be 2 but i cant stand it...

tried studyin but sick of it..

wz gonna talk bout some stuff but since ive finished studyin and its quite late..
next time..
-.-" delayed 3rd time already..
ne waiz
nite nite
*hugz*

Monday, March 14, 2005

suicide...

well as every1 noes...
councilors and some teachaz noe bout blogs now...
and im sorta annoyed at how i took it off
then havin tha skool find some blogs a few daiz afta i took it off...
hope they havent seen mine....

ne waiz...
somethin i didnt mention on mi last post..
on sun...
well i dun think i mentioned it..
wz tha sad news taht trent martins committed suicide...
(AAFC person taht quit last yr)
dunno y he did it tho i noe he hung himself...
it wz such a shock 2 me...

i mean these things u hear of in tha community..
but u dun think it would happen 2 ne 1 u noe of...
its jus so sad..
i mean y would ppl do taht?
they've got their whole lives ahead of em...

and i mean i jus recently found out of anotha person i noe...
(she shall remain unnamed tho dia noes who)
she wz slashing her wrists...
and now apparently shez on 2 drugs...
its jus so scary..
it neva dawned on me that such things happend so close round me..
like tha whole reality of it..
and u think y do ppl do it?
what do they gain..?
wen theyve got their whole lives ahead..
as bad as tha start may seem...

and then 2day i wz at tha petrol station wit mi mum...
and i saw this lady..
and 4m wat i saw she wz disadvantaged...
(she had arms that were onli 1/3 of tha length of an arm of an average person)
not that she had a disability...
jus disadvanataged..
and she wz jus goin about jus like ne normal person...
fillin petrol in2 tank and everyhtin..
and it made me thought...
if this lady could get thru life..
and she looked pretty well off..
like nice car.. nice clothes and everythin...
(tho i shouldnt be judgin ppl by tha way they look)
but she looked like she wz managin thru life fine...
but Y would ppl wanna commit suicide or hurt themselves?
y would they want to cause such damage..?

i mean wouldnt committin tha suicide be takin tah easy way out of pain?
nothin but pure cowardice?
but if u dared 2 face it thru and jus tackled each thing...
and even TALKED 2 ppl more..
but then hey im makin a judgment again on ppl since i dunno wat that pain would be like... but im jus sayin...
like u jus leave ure family there grievin 4 u?

ne waiz..
gettin late
nite nite
*hugz*

quizzez...

4m email..

---------HaVe U eVeR---------
1. Been so drunk you blacked? Nope
2. Missed school coz it was raining? Not yet... tho good idea...
3. Put a body part on fire for amusement: O.O im not that much of a pyromaniac..
4. Been hurt emotionally: yes.. number of times..
5. Kept a secret from everyone: -.-" wat u think?
6. Had an imaginary friend: Lol... i did once.. but onli made her up coz every1 else had 1 and i sorta felt left out coz ppl were all playin wit their imaginary friends..
7.Cried during a Movie: So many ive lost count...
8. Had a crush on a teacher: UM... EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
9. Ever thought an animated character was hot? nope
10.had homosexual fantasies? ? ER how bout NO?
11. Been on stage: YES.. but onli forced in2 it and HATED it
12. Cut your own hair? neva tried... afta all if u stuff up ull have 2 live wit it a while.. betta not risk it..

-------------FaVoUrItEs-------------
13. colour[s]: Blu!!!! tho pink is ok...
16. Day/Night: Both :S like day 4 seein ppl.. but more awake at nite...
17. Summer/Winter: SUMMER!! :D but not wen itz 2 hot...
18. Lace or satin: SATIN!! hate lace...
19. Fave cartoon Character: dun have 1...
20. Fave Food: chocolate... pastas... lollies...
21. Fave Advert: I dont realli watch TV
22. Fave Movie: well mainly 4m tha genre of comedy and/or romance
23. Fave Ice Cream: Vanilla or choc
24. Fave Subject: atm its re and h bio
25. Fave 'normal' Drink(s): Water ^^
26. Fave Person to talk to: I like 2 listen... and i love 2 talk 2 ppl.. but i mean i enjoy discussin diff subjects wit diff ppl... so dun exactly have a "FAVE"

------------Right now--------------
27. Wearing: Pink Spag top & Jeans
28. Hair is: Long and straight and part in tha middle
29. I'm feeling: tired... but wanna talk 2 some1... how come wen therez no1 round i feel like talkin sometimes?
30. Eating: air? no not eatin ne thin..
31. Drinking: Water
32. Thinking about: Skool.. hw... mi sad existance
33. listening to: Naughty Girl - Beyonce :P

----------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
34. Cried: nope
35. Worn a skirt: skool uniform? more of a dress actualli
36. Met someone new: nope... wait that ladies who did tha soup patrol talk... tho not exactly meet them.. more of they talk i listen...
37. Cleaned your room: Yes.. tho attempt bout as unsuccessful as usual...
38. Done laundry : Yah....
39. Drove a car: Not licensed yet...

--------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
40. Yourself: sometimes...
41. Your friends: ...? wat u mean by that?
42. Santa Claus: *cries* santa 4got me last yr.. no prezzie... well i dun exactly care so... yah...
43. Tooth Fairy: i got 10 bux wen i wz lil 4m mi parents.... and got mi teeth bak :S so it sorta defeated tha idea of tha tooth fairy story...
44. Destiny/Fate: yah... tho i think it can be affected by what we choose 2 do
45. Angels: Bound 2 be some... i mean on earth i guess u can call em ure friends ^^
46. Ghosts: well we all like 2 believe that our deceased loved ones are alwaiz wit us.. and that they noe wat we're doin... as well as tha ppl we noe... that they go on 2 a next life or realm...
47. UFO : somethin that flies that we dunno wat it is ? :S

friendster bulletin...

1) brand of ur hand phone?
nokia
2) wat'l u do if u see ur gf/bf hugging a girl?
(presumin i have a bf...)ask em watz up and whether or not they value tha relationship we're in coz if not im goin...
3) do you live alone?
no wit parents..
4) hav ur own room?
yah
5) fav pet ?
Annabel ^^
6) 1 thing u cant live w/o?
well THING... um... food...?
7) where do u live?
perth..
8) wat wud u do if sumone tells u he/she likes u?
dunno... neva thought bout it...
9) how are you feelin n0w?
tired... betta sleep soon...
10) where do you hangout?
at home? i guess that is sorta sad... but thatz where i spend most of mi time...
11)what are you good at?
nothing?
12) what is it bout a person you cant stand?
cant think of a person i cant stand atm...
13) what do you want?
a simple happy modest life...?
14) a word that describes you?
me in 1 word? thatz hard... um... apathetic like gar suggested last time??
15) what is ur dream?
2 jus have a good life? nothin that i would regret... tho then again therez things i already regret... *sigh*
16) day/nite?
i liek em both
17) sunset/sunrise?
sunset
18) like a romantic bf/gf?
yes *sigh*
19) what is it about the opposite gender that attracts you?
umm.. next q...?
20) are you an independent person?
not realli...
21)do you like school?
otha than tha studyin bit yes
22) are you stubborn?
i think im passive.. not realli sure
23) believe in God?
sorta...
24)ur favourite sport?
i LOVE most sports ^^ but im REALLI bad at em... -.-"
25) believe in fate?
yes... tho i think that fate can be altered by our actions...
26) get pissed off easily?
on some topics yes....
27) love ur parents?
YES
28) r u a materialistic person?
id like 2 believe taht im not but i prob am...
29) believe in love?
yes but tehn not meant 2 be thinkin bout that now... need 2 study...
even tho im distracted by this...
30) will u get a tattoo?
no dun think ne time soon or eva...
31)smoke?
DEFINATELY NOT
32) club / pub?
neither... i still value mi time at home..
33) wil u forgive ur bf if he cheats on u?
well dun have a bf so dunno if i would... i guess sorta depends on tha person and how i feel at that time...
34)will u expect ur bf to forgive u?
depends on tha matter and type of person...
35) were u on a trip recently?
well america wz quite recent.. tho not THAT recent... but id still call a trip ^^
36)fave country?
Australia... but im bein bit biased...
37) r u impatient?
can be..
39) do u organise parties often
nope not at all... AND im crap at organisin stuff in tha first place...
40)do u hav good friends?
yup ^^ no doubt
41) do u think u r good-looking?
ok.. ne waiz conclusion im not TOTALLI FUGLY or repulsive... tho i wz bak wen i wz younger *shrudderz*
42) do u care about looks?
sometimes... tho i try not 2 judge ppl and i dun realli care bout how ppl look... but i do care if i look like a pain 2 tah eye...
43) do you think that you're a good gf?
um.. neva tried bein 1... so dunno.. and if i did have 1... ask mi bf they'd noe.. not me...
45) do you quarrel with people easily?
depends on tha topic...
46) are you forgiving?
depends on the reason y im annoyed at em... tho ive noticed i get ova somethins surprisinly quickly...
47) do you get hurt easily?
again depends on y... and wat u mean by hurt... as in emotionalli or physicalli.. i do get a lot of injuries and hurt emotionalli..? well depends on how seriously u took somethin and if in a relationship circumstance how much heart u put in..
48) do you prefer gurl wit long/short hair?
umm... wat happened 2 not judgin looks?
49) do u prefer guys wid long/short hair?
ditto bout above... tho sadly i do prefer a guy wit shorter hair than long hair...
50) is ur hair colored?
no jus plain black... tho have some sunstreaks but they're not intentional...
51) are you a romantic partner?
no idea...
52) do you wear a watch??
sometimes.. wen i remember 2 put it on...
53) what kind of clothes do you wear?
...?
54) will you chose love or money?
love ;)
55) do you prefer sleep or eat?
sleep !!!!
56) white or black?
Both.. tho not grey ewwwwww
57) pink or red
pink
58) hate anyone?
try not 2 but some ppl jus plain annoy me...
59) HurT any one?
dun think i have intentionalli... tho i prob have somewhere along tha way of mi life...
60) haTe mosT in Class?
i like most classes.. all cept gnt and ic... hmmm maybe thatz y im failin em...?
61) wHat do yoU think about this?
i wz bored... wat else is there 2 do?

Sunday, March 13, 2005

IGSSA

notha week past..
notha w/e worth of sleep ins lost =.=
SO tired..
and apparently mr g want me 2 play in tha orchestra 2moro..
SO doomed
cant play tha piece yet >.<
and dun realli wanna carry a harp round on a mon mornin..
PLUS got physics test 2moro mornin first period..

last week..
had harmony day..
tha assembly wz quite good ^^
i liked watchin it tho tha essays were quite borin..
but good 2 have free dress..
tho i like uniforms coz that way therez less pressure 2 wear somethin nice..
or in fashion...
and there wouldnt be horrible barings of flesh...
but then i still hate our uniforms...
GREEN! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

IGSSA swimming carnival..
well we all noe we came 2nd...
2 penrhos ...
found out that a girl at mi chinese skool goes 2 st marys...
scar came ova afta skool coz then she wouldnt have 2 stay at skool by her self...
went out 2 vn 4 dinner...
started eatin like 5:15 which wz wen we were meant 2 be at skool..
so called up late..
and said we'd meet up at beatty park
wen we got there it wz jus me scar and bec suinerine (how eva spell)
and teachers came...
teacha student ratio ws 2:1 -.-"
wit mr lee and some otha teachas..
then tah ppl on tha bus came...

sat at tha bak of tha stands..
saw arnina...
lol bak row of azns... funny..
ne waiz i found it unfair how mrs gibson made some of tha yr 11s sit at tha front..
and tha yr8s at tha bak...
i mean WAT THA?
and then we were told that we werent allowed stand up coz ppl cant see...
well then y not put tha yr 8 at tha front...?
then they could see and we could stand up and cheer ^^
well scream in mi case...
and high voice by end of nite...
oh and it went bak 2 normal at 12 that nite...

sat..
early mornin chinese skool...
barely past written test 70%...
then spent tha arvo teachin some ppl how 2 dance "IT"
(its tha name of tha dance btw)
gay dance that i wz forced performed last yr...
and 1 that im forced 2 teach this yr..
and doin a diff dance next week..
but im not gonna be there..
i wonder wat its gonna be like..
hopefully better...
coz have 2 choose 1 of tha 2 for performance...

sat evenin..
dia came ova..
tehn went 2 nellie owen and katies bday party..
spent tha whole nite in tah pool..
played 2 games of table tennis..
and truth or dare...
and truthfully there were some interestin dares...
*wink*
and no i didnt do ne of hta dares..
i prefer truth ^^

and 2day..
woke up early..
went wit mi mum swapmeet marketin AGAIN..
and wit mrs tan again...
this time not much buyin of stuff..
then went 2 lunch at some viet resto in mirrabooka
that 1 of tha ladies that works in tha shop recommended...
i guess tha food wz ok..
tho i got sick of it b4 i wz finished..
like u jus had so much that u dun feel like eatin it ne more..
even tho ure still hungry?
heapza either viet or azn ppl in there...
but majority viet obviously...
and like 1 oz guy wit 2 azn ppl...
and went home afta...

and that wz mi w/e..
nothin interestin..
tbo lots 2 rite bout...
hmmm..

ne waiz late...
and im REALLI SLEEPY
nite nite
*hugz*

Monday, March 07, 2005

long w/e

long w/e..
and every1s either got a good life and is havin fun..
or doin their hw.. so doesnt seem 2 be ne 1 online :(
oh well..
but then that is tha sad thing...
tha fact that im online as per usual...
*sigh*

well had dinner on thur nite..
maxy, sheila, yee lian, gar, dia and kat came
and kat, gar and dia slept ova...
and no mona no pix
got 3 hours sleep..
then went 2 tha ct tha next day..
met up wit scar..
walked round...
spent less than an hour in nb...
i found that i quite like taht new game in timezone billy bowl...
but then im so crap at it..
scar and i played in timezone
whilst kat, gar and dia stood round and watched..
AGAIN

update later..
tired now..
nite nite
*hugz*

Sunday, February 27, 2005

past week

yayyyyyyyyyy
i dun have 2 take mi physics text book home no more ^^
ive loaded it on 2 tha comp
and no i didtn scan it in2 tha comp...

ne waiz.. random topic of discussion 2day :

we neva want wat we have?

we neva want wat we have...?
and yet wen we lose it then its value suddenly seems so high...
y do we take so many things 4 granted?
i guess i live in 2 much of a wealthy world..
i remember wen i wz lil..
stuff i wanted wz neva allowed coz we didnt have tha money 4 it..
and then therez tha thing were u alwaiz chase afta wat u dun have..
(wait i feel like ive talked bout this b4...)

and i guess sometimes i jus want some1 hug...
and jus feel like i dun need 2 be rushed 2 do 1 thing or another..
2 forget everythin thatz happenin and get lost in time...
*sigh*
(amd this 1 2... oh dun i love 2 repeat miself...?)

and also its been like a week since i last posted...
highlights - tha whole steve thing...
where he wz made redundant due 2 tha skool makin a contract wit some caterin company..
and so tha skool dun hav 2 run both tha dinin hall and tha canteen...
and then students were protestin..
apparently there wz free cake bein given out 2 ppl on tha recess by him on fri...

my grandpa went home...
well its not a highlight its more like a lowlight (if therez such a word)
but i mean its an event 2 talk bout..
an tha nite b4 he left he sorta gave me this lecture on how i cant date till im 25.. and then i can meet guys..
if i realli like 1 i take him home 2 meet tha parents..
and then i can date em..
and i can onli have 1 or 2 bf
then like wen im 28 i marry em
so.. i guess thats sorta mi love life sorted out..
otha than tha guy...

and tha combined skool disco last nite..
it wz ok..
it wz in tha st hildas underground carpark..
quite nice..
tho i sorta broke my bracelet nooooooooooooo
but i sorta fixed it again afta it wz trampled by ppl
coz there wz 2many ppl

it wz sorta a disco/family event..
like outside tha underground carpark on tha oval they had like bouncy castle
and mad cow (i wan anotha go!!!)
and tha disco thing had like half hour sessions...
and we met scarz st hilda friend who she met on tha bus and engineerin camp..
i think?

i hurt all ova now... x.x
my shoulders hurt.. my neck hurt.. my legs hurt.. my arms dun realli hurt...
but ne waiz point is im SO unfit...
AND i havent done so much movement in AGES...

ive gotten mi IC, chem and physics tests bak..
chem i did pretty well im happy coz i fall in between tah grades of a or b..
but IC and physics i barely scraped a pass >.<
must STUDY

4 cadets ive learnt that not realli enough lecturer's available..
so we're gonna do IT AND SURVIVAL ADVANCED 2getha..
which means ill have 2 lecture >.<
oh well
at least i have tha notes 2 it and it'll be practise 4 SNCO, WOFF skool AND CUO course...
and there aint that many ppl in advanced ne waiz so good good

um...
its sorta gettin late so im gonna go sleep...
afta all ive missed out on 3 w/e's worth of sleep ins =o=
nite nite
*hugz*

Sunday, February 20, 2005

week long post

well bak 4m choral camp...
and and bout a week (or 2..?) since i last updated...

well it wz mi bday on tha swimmin carnival...
nothin much..
EXTREMELY hot..
tho thank god no work 2 do..
i substituted 4 eve..
coz dia didnt wanna swim and she wz in tha event..
so i jus participated 2 support her..
and so i came last in tha 50m breastroke...
and then came last in tha noodle relay...
and also i had 4gotten mi towel that day
-.-"
but thankfully 4 mona who lent me herz

then tha rest of tha week sorta past...
and had choral camp..
i guess it wz quite alrite..
there wz jade, kathleen, nithya (yay i think i spelt her name rite 4 once on tha first try !!!) an alison..
well there wz also liz, nelly, bec, sarah, helen and tegan
but they were sorta a group of their own...

jade helen and sarah left early..
and 4 tha first time we actualli got thru 3.8 songs in tha 1 camp..
then apparently u could hear mi voice ovall at tha concert ?.?
and there wz onli 2 sop 1s..

ova tha last 3 or so weeks...
ive grown 2 dislike tha blonde techdesk lady more and more...
(i think ive already told some ppl bout this)
i mean 1 fri aftanoon...
it wz round 4..
and tha RC closes at 4 rite?
well instead of jus tellin us that it wz 4 and that we needed 2 go..
she goes and saiz "dont ne of u have ne homes 2 go bak 2?"
in this haughty tone..
i mean dun need 2 be that harsh..
and then..
there wz this arvo where her son wz doin hw in tha RC...
surrounded by these girls..
and they were jus casualli talkin and then tha lady comes along...
grabs her son by tha neck..
and drags him 2 tha next area...
and he falls off tha chair and she KEEPS draggin him..
i mean how MEAN is that?
oh well
shouldnt talk bout other pplz bzness...

eva felt like uve done somethin rong 2 make some1 angry at u?
i dunno y i feel liek that somtimes...
like some ppl seem pissed off at me..
and i jus cant help but wonder wat did rong..
oh well

and eva felt like sayin somethin 2 some1 but just dunno how 2 start?
or that ppl r talk bout u..?
and yet wen u notice they try 2 change subject?
*sigh*

or i could jus be ova reactin 2 everythin..

hmmm...

im realli gettin worried bout mi sista..
and i seriously dunno wat 2 do bout her..
i mean its either me or she suddenly seems OVA self absorbed and materialistic...
AND obssesses bout teachas???
and LOVES showin off wat she owns..

like she took 50 pix of herself coz she wz "bored" !?!?!??!
hallo she wz sittin in a car...

and she takes camera 2 skool and takes pix of TEACHAS!?!?!?!?
and drew pix of her teacha
and WONT STOP TALKIN bout her teacha
and tells me bout HER teacha this and that...
and took pix of her teachaz PASSPORT pic
AND her teacha repeatedly..

AND she takes pix of her DEODERANT!?!?!?!?!?
and her teddy..

i think its either she loves takin pix or she loves her camera 2 much...
but then she doesnt CARE 4 tha camera..
2 her its like wateva
i guess thats her attitude 2 most of her possessions..
coz like tha fact that she believes that dad will buy her a new 1 if it stuffs up..
and yet ppl wonder y we go thru so many items so quickly?
well mi sista doeznt botha carin and let things drop and fall and throw...
and wen i ask her 2 care 4 things i feel SO long winded...

and again im repeatin mi self -.-"

i guess mi sista is mi fave subject coz ive got so much 2 complain bout her lol

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

well...
happy cny 2 every1..

>.<
i have 5 hours of chem catch up 2 do..
PLUS GnT >.<
oh well..
break 4 now..

tha otha day wen i went 4 tha cosultation wit tha facial/oral surgeon guy...
i wz sittin in tha waitin room..
and i picked up this magazine..
jus flickin thru..
then came across this REALLI disturbin article..

it wz bout parricide..
(tha murder of a mother father or CLOSE relative)
i mean so scary..
and tha article wz mainly focusing on this case of this azn dude..
he wz 19..
and he had a sista who wz 13 (i think...?)
apparently tha family wz quite wealthy..
and afta all this careful plannin he murderd his parents and sista..
i mean how scary..?

and apparently annualli this happens on an average of 12 times..
which is 1 case per month..
and jus imagine it..
some1 u LIVE with could be plottin URE death..

and accordingly tha ppl dun have ne mental issues..
they jus are realli distanced and detached..
and seem 2 show little feeling..

but this azn son jus murdered them..
and pretended like it wz a surprise 2 him for months b4 ppl found out..
and he wz in full mournin and stuff...

and tha most hauntin thing in tha article is that there wz anotha case..
of some white guy...
he murdered his sista mother and lil bro..
coz tha parents WOULDNT LET HIM DRIVE THA FAMILY CAR!!!!
i mean WAT THA?!?!?!?
could DRIVIN A CAR
be worth MORE than ure family's lives!?!?!?!?!?!?
jus tha thought of it makes mi skin crawl...

uh oh..
gettin late..
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

Sunday, February 06, 2005

first week of skool...

first week of skoolz finished..
have had most of mi subjects..
and am quite happy..
tho it seemz like hterez heapz of hw..
but its not realli that much..
or it could jus be me...
used 2 gettin away witout doin tha hw..

i wonder..
y do ppl ask "did u miss me?"
i mean wat do they wanna noe?
that we ourselves are lackin such a life
that we're missin em and thinkin of em 24/7?
or that we're so head ova heels that we cant think of ne thin but em?
or wat do they mean by tha actual "MISS"?
yet wen i say i DUN miss em..
they either say im heartless or im lyin....
so wat u want?
an actual lie?
or r u so up of ure self
that ure convincin ure self that im lyin 2 u?
oh well...

ne waiz gettin late...
and mi new yrz resolution wz 2 be asleep by 10 everynite
oh well i broke it...
nite nite
*hugz*

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

day 3 of skool

3rd day of skool now...
tha teachas i got are ok..
tho not completely happi tho i cant complain
coz some ppl didnt get ne thin they wanted...
turns out that scar chewy and i arent in tha same classes...
oh well
so much 4 hopin 4 tha best..

u noe i wz thinkin 2day...
and i thought...
if ms silberstein say therez tha placebo effect (dunno how 2 spell)
where tha person's heart rate speeds up due 2 tha person thinkin bout it...
and gettin excited therefore increasin tha heart rate...
could some1 by that way convince themselves that they liek some 1?
i mean u could get confused...?
between ure heart rate increasin coz u like that person..
or coz u try and NOTICE whether or not ure heart rate increases..
and there by increasin it?
confusin :S

i realised tha otha day wen i went shopping wit mi mum...
wat i wear is realli gettin more daring...
if u noe wat i mean..?
but them again im not tha 1 doin most of tha choosin..
oh well...

i wonder soemtimes...
how can some ppl go on in their lives not affected by tha way otha ppl talk..?
i mean i can take some..
but i mean i have mi limits...
yet some ppl jus go on by..
or they jus turn it in2 some form of compliment...

g2g
nite nite
*hugz*

Friday, January 28, 2005

BAD DAY

addin 2 tha post on wed...
aust day..
i wz gonna rite more but mi dad wz REALLI annoyed

bein patriotic on aust day is all fine..
but do ppl have 2 turn tha NATIONAL FLAG in2 ITEMS OF CLOTHING?
personalli i find it sorta a form of disrespect
i mean it is tha national flag..
it represents australia..
and ppl turn it in2 clothing..
and jus SIT on it...
*shakez head*

i had tha WORST DAY 2day..
well mi sistaz friend wz goin 2 adventure world
wit friends and family of friends..
and invited her and me..
(plus tha fact that mi mum MADE me go
coz she wz scared taht lina would get lost)
not that i didnt wanna go 2 adventure world
ive neva been..
tho goin wit mi sista and her friends
didnt realli make it seem so appealing as it coulda
but i guess im grateful that they invited me

ne waiz...
all wz goin fine..
then i wz swimmin in tha pool wit this lil girl
who wz tha sista of mi sista's friend's brother's friend
ne waiz
we were swimming..
then she came up and headbutted me in tha jaw..
and since it wz so near mi ear i sorta lost part of mi hearing -.-"
and cos of her age and height...
i missed out on ridin most of tha rides..
coz apparently she wz mi responsibility since i wz tha oldest...
-.-"

tho i did end up ridin tha rampage
and wz scared tha hell outta me...
coz i had jus got outta tha pool b4 i wz still drippin wet...
so wen it wz goin...
i wz slippin and fallin outta tha seat..
and then wen i fell forwards i dunno..
maybe i wz 2 heavy or somethin..
tha safety bar thingy moved forward
and it so freaked me out that i wz gonna fall out...

and then round 2 mi sistaz friend got lost...
so spent tha rest of tha time lookin 4 her..
then i wz late 4 work..
but then turned out that she wz waitin 4 us..
coz she thought we were gonna go on that ride..
but in tha end gave up on waitin in tha line..
and didnt noe that she wz waitin 4 us coz
she had said that she wz gonna go on some ride..
-.-"

so i wz late 4 work...
and mi parents werent home..
i had 2 ask mi sistaz friends mum 2 drop me off at mi house
so i could 2 grab mi clothes 4m mi home
and change at tha resto..
and ended up gettin 2 tha resto
in mi bathers hair out and jus a sarong on
-.-"

and not good since andrew wz workin...
im not sure if i rote bout it..
i jus found out that 1 of tha waiters at mi resto
wz discussin wit his cousin
(whos tha bf of 1 of tha shop's employees who i noe
realli well)
how id react if he (tha waiter) grabbed mi ass
-.-"
and then 2day since i went 2 adventure world..
i got this sunburn (4 tha first time)
on mi face..
and apparently it looked like a blush that wouldnt go away
-.-"
plus plus plus is not good...

and then...
afta i had changed..
i worked tha resto...
i SMASHED 3 glasses..
broke 1 tall glass..
took a menu 2 tha kitchen..
instead of sayin "sorry 2nite tha kitchen is bz"
said "sorry 2nite tha kitchen is bitchin"
cut mi finger...
and a load of otha stuff..
tho cbb mentionin..
plus im sorta runnin outta time..
parents say have 2 turn off SOON

ummm...
went out wit mi sista gar dia and kevin yesterday..
soz scar didnt invite u coz we knew ure still grounded...
originalli it wz gonna be jus me and gar..
but then dia finished her bridgin course jus in time
and wz notified on V LATE notice (15 mins b4 movie start)
we watched alfie..
1 of tha most borin movies...
well in mi opinion tho gar mite have found it interestin
due 2 jude law..
there realli wz no plot 2 tha movie...
tho kevin and lina sittin 2 getha wz a highlite enough
lol

then we ate at sizzlers..
kev and lina sat next 2 each otha again
and played in timezone
well more of me lina and kev played..

and then every1 went home..
and me lina and mum went shopping in westfield..
then bak 2 work that evenin 4 me..

sometimes i wonder..
do i take most things in life 2 seriously..?
like i take jokes 2 seriously..
and i take wat ppl say 2 seriously..

ugh..
g2g
maybe continue thinkin aloud later on...
well not exactly aloud but in written form?
nite nite
*hugz*

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

aust day

aust day 2day..

stayed at home..
no work coz tha resto wz closed...
tho we ended up goin 2 watch tha fire works..
tho mi dad came late coz he had 2 go buy some stuff...

we arrived at 7..
and sat 4 an hour waitin 4 tha fireworks 2 start..
and while i wz sittin there near tha footpath..
this guy walked past im not sure if he wz sober or drunk
but u noe wat he said?
"its australia day NOT chinese"
i mean im jus slightly offended
but if he wz drunk i guess it wz jus ok..
maybe he didnt noe wat he wz talkin bout in tah first place...
tho if he wz sober...
id be a lil annoyed..
but mostly id sorta pity him
i mean if he realli meant it that way..
i realli feel sorry 4 him
that he didnt think
of tha fact that HE himself ISNT australian...
i mean wat do u have 2 be 2 be considered australian..?
otha than bein borne here wat could he say..?
he WZNT an aboriginal so he cant say his family wz here all along..
so he would jus be as australian as i am..
cept a diff country bakground
ignorant git...

ok
feel much betta
um....
nite nite
*hugz*

Monday, January 24, 2005

annoyed...

dunno..
im not excited that i have 2 go bak 2 skool soon
yet its not like im dreading it...
jus numbness if thats how u can sorta explain it
not realli ne feelin bout it

-.-"
SO annoyed atm..
and some ppl arent helpin at all
bad day of work..
and then ppl who r jus curious..
or love 2 use msn 7 and keep usin tha nudge...
so wen im typin stuff in tagboards
or 4 a post i keep gettin interrupted..
and i think its also how some ppl affect me..
or tha point that i cant stay annoyed at ne 1 4 longer than 20 mins...
or its jus me annoyed at me...
or i could jus conclude pms

ne waiz..
2day...
therez a week left till skool
and how easy is it 2 regret stuff?

and i seriously dunno wat 2 do wit mi sister...
jus tha otha day i caught her tellin some random
which suburb we live in -.-"
or maybe im jus bein paranoid..
oh well
i jus keep tellin her and tellin her..
and now i keep feelin like me mum
i even sound like her sometimes >.<

ne waiz
late
nite nite
*hugz*

Monday, January 17, 2005

Money

money...
*sigh*

i realised recently how much i talk bout it
>.<
and how realli it seems important 2 me i guess...
or not.. ?.?
like how ppl say time is money...
time can sometimes be worth more than money
and with time you can get money..
u could work hard and earn it in time
or win it but all in a matter of time..
but u cant buy time wit money
>.<

i seem 2 waste so much time
and mi parents spend so much of their time 2 get money
and i guess i help 2
but wat 2 do wit so much money..?
u convert such precious time
jus 2 get money
but wat is it worth in tha end?
is that y i keep tryin not 2 spend money...?
i mean i keep talkin bout how little i bought somethin 4
is that y it seems so important 2 me that i save money..?
that its jus time spent converting it 2 money in tha first place..?

its like i wanna get all that time bak..
so i try 2 save money..?
or ...
*sigh*
oh well

time thatz gone cant be retrieved...
yet haunting memories of what was done and wat wznt..
all that could have been changed..
if i had acted differently at that time
and each replay shows a different possibility
a different me..
a different change...
a different ending...
a different everything...
if onli i had done this..
or if onli i hadnt done that..
a variety of wat could have been
yet can no longer be
*sigh*

and then i get flooded with tha empty hollowness...
of great guilt..
like therez no point doin ne thin..
if ure gonna regret it later..
yet i dun think of how by not doin ne thin ill end up regrettin
and i jus seem 2 drift thru time..
second by second..
minute by minute..
hour by hour..
(u prob get tha idea by now)
day by day...
week by week...
yr by yr...
*sigh*

well late
g2g
nite nite
*hugz*