*sigh*

timez passin away... time slowly tickin... as we ourselvez dont notice... friendshipz driftin apart... new 1z beginnin all tha time... hmmm... wat happend 2 day..? well... i guezz we had chinese skool...and i saw andy...and then i went home... and slept.. and i've been online since i woke up... thatz mainly it... these daiz... i dunno y... mi mind and thoughtz seem 2 start wonderin... i mean itz bit strange.. coz usualli.. all that happenz is i stare out.. and mi mind jus focuses on a subject and mi mind goez blank.. but these daiz... itz liek all these thoughtz come in2 mind... itz different.... and sorta strange... oh wellz... wat else 2 talk bout...? umm... i g2g nite nite *hugz [6 daiz 2 go... ]

*sigh*

timez passin away... time slowly tickin... as we ourselvez dont notice... friendshipz driftin apart... new 1z beginnin all tha time... hmmm... wat happend 2 day..? well... i guezz we had chinese skool...and i saw andy...and then i went home... and slept.. and i've been online since i woke up... thatz mainly it... these daiz... i dunno y... mi mind and thoughtz seem 2 start wonderin... i mean itz bit strange.. coz usualli.. all that happenz is i stare out.. and mi mind jus focuses on a subject and mi mind goez blank.. but these daiz... itz liek all these thoughtz come in2 mind... itz different.... and sorta strange... oh wellz... wat else 2 talk bout...? umm... i g2g nite nite *hugz [6 daiz 2 go... ]

s+e...(again)
ne waiz...
jus finish small bzness day...
it went alrite i guezz...
but then we didnt sell everythin...
oh well...

had choir dis mornin...
and then had p1 and 2....
and then recess...
then p 3 i missed most of coz i had small bzness day...
but then it stuffed up coz i ended up bein 1 outta 4 that did tha set up...
coz 2 pplz had inclass essay so thatz okz..
i still meant 2 have melissa toh come down and help me...
but then apparently she 4got...
so i wz standin there by mi self tryin 2 work out how 2 actualli set up wen tha place wz so windy...
and then all tha paper in mi diary flew away across tha great court coz of tha huge wind.... -.-"
oh well...

wat else..?
hmmm... no 1 online... but then u can expect that..

work exp next week... agghh...
i still gotta pack...
and sorri if i snapped at ne1 dis mornin... i realli stressed out atm...

but itz all good that i have small bzness ova so no need 2 worry bout that *phew*
but still gotta make a decision on whether or not 2 perform on tha harp 4 tha music tour 4 vienna...

u realli hate makin decisions....
hmmm... got voice lesson now..
g2g
bye
*hugz*

[8 daiz 2 go....]

s+e

s+e...
nothin 2 do..
small business day 2moro...

itz so quiet.... oh well time 2 relax and reflect i guezz...
come 2 think of it...
these daiz tha onli time i get 2 jus sit and sorta relax at skool iz durin s+e...
not realli taht much work involved since i have mr o...

minin camp next week...
i gonna be so bored on tha bus trip there...
i mean sittin on tha bus for 7 hours!!!
i aint gonna liek it... but oh well..
i'll have dia and scar 2 entertain me :P

now daiz i realli startin 2 reconsider mi choicez 4 subjects next yr...
i dunno if i should change outta human bio in2 some humanitiez subject...
i realli worry bout if i stuff up then it'll go bad...
oh well....

itz artz week...
so every day this week is day x... me so happi!!
but then we've alwaiz got some random thing 2 go 2...
there wz tha talent quest 2 day as well as tha dance fest performance...
thiz year tha talent quest wz so much betta than last yrz...
so funni

half tha lesson 2 go...
and i've gotten a realli big headache...
hmm... i wonder if itz dehydration... or if i'm jus sick....

ugh...
2 much stress this week...
2 much due 2moro....
i've still got mi maths invest 2 work out... all mi pom pom hair ties 2 sew up... mi english journal thatz due... mi bio test...

i dunno if itz me...
or if itz pms... or jus otha pplz....
but these daiz itz as if i cant tolerate ne thin ne morez...
esp it seemz like in tha mornin... i jus am so pissed off...
and then also durin commerce... and some otha classes...
i dont wanna be pissed off but then pplz jus seem 2 get on mi nervez so easily...

oh well...
class is ova...
*hugz
bye

[9 daiz 2 go...]

s+e...
mr o iz jus sittin across tha room and talkin 2 pplz... typical...
nothin 2 do... and no 1 iz on msn...

so ye...
tha mid term break iz ova so quickly...
oh well..
and now i got heapza stuff 2 do coz i didnt do ne hw....
oh well...

well tha second half of tha w/e wz okz...
i went 2 tha temple on sun and had a lovely vegetarian lunch...
and then stayed at home 4 tha rest of tha day...

but now i'm sorta gettin worried bout miself...
i mean i'm not sure if i've developed an eatin disorder or somethin...
i hope not... but then i dont think i've been eatin properly..
wen i feel like eatin... i sorta lose mi appetite no matter
oh well end of class finish later...

========== continued ==========

ne waiz... i think i wz on tha topic of mi eatin habitz...
oh well... i hope it getz betta soon..

well atm... i'm a quarter tryin 2 study 4 2moroz mathz test....
a quarter makin a pom pom 1 quarter typin dis... and 1 quater chattin...
very bad habbit..
oh wellz... it keepz me 4m stressin...
or maybe i should get mi prioritiez straight...

i dunno y... sometimez... life feelz like itz full of deceit..
and liez... and as if therez heapza pplz out there 2 jus trick u and fool u and then laugh...oh well...

and then.. yesterday..
went 2 tha ct... walked round... now i hurt all ova... >.< 2 much walkin i guezz.... mi arms and mi shoulders hurt and mi nose ?.? oh well...
well walked round... met scar and then met andy later on at joy garden.. then lina went off wit her friendz...(4 once!!! but i got told off later on 4 it... -.-") and so scar and i had 2 walk 2 and from tha ct repeatedly... and then scar left and it wz jus me and andy..
we walked round tha ct 4 a while... still havent found a prezzie 4 dad 4 father's day... and then got home round 6 or 7 some time den... and then thatz bout wat happedn 4 mi day yesterday...

mi life seemz so borin...
oh well... betta go finish studyin and then get some harp practise done or mi teachaz gonna kill me...
nite nite
*hugz

[11 daiz 2 go...]

*sigh*

*sigh*hmmm.... happi bday 4 kat 2moro... tho i doubt she readz mi blog... but oh well... itz tha mid term break... so i had fri off and mon also... i spent fri at garden ct... went wit jade and dia.. and met up wit scar dere... had lunch (and breakfast 4 me)... we were gonna go see tha girl next door... but we ended up watchin white chicks coz dia 4got 2 bring her library card 2 verify her age... tha movie wz quite good i guezz... but i dunno y... i'm not sure if i wz sick or ne thin.. but i felt realli sick.. i ended up vomitin a bit in tha bathroom half way thru tha movie... and then.. walked round 4 anotha while... then went home... but then b4 that both scar and dia decided 2 call AND sms andy on mi fone wit out me noein... -.-" and he called bak... lolz so funny... ne waiz... went home 2 get ready 4 cadetz... andy called up again 2 wonderin wat wz up and if it wz urgent... and me sorta in a towel and doin mi hair... so i promised i'd call him bak some otha time... had cadetz... froze 2 death... and got called mrs braidy.. -.-" i mean first house wife.. now somethin specific.. -.-" okz... 2day... had chinese skool... mi teacha decided to invite her friend along 2 class... apparently her friend iz like some famous advertisin actress person... ne waiz... i hated it... then skipped lunch... and wz picked up by mum and dad... went 2 ct wit em 2 get tha plane tickets... went home... then spent bout an hour at home... went out 2 tha resto 2 help coz 1 of tha employees called in sick... worked till round 9... called andy bak 2 clear up everythin... (4 once i could talk on tha phone wit out mi sista interferin..) coz shez at her friendz house... ne waiz... yah... tahtz mi w/e so far... 2moro goin 2 tha temple on money st... prob have lunch there... and then find somethin 2 do.. damn... mum wont lemme go out until afta tha trip... -.-" *sigh* oh well.. gettin late... nite nite *hugz* [14 daiz 2 go....]

Bored Bored.... doin some quizzez... resultz below.. Color Quiz Your Existing situation: Easily affected by her environment and readily moved by the emotions of others. Seeks congenial relationships and an occupation which will promote them. Your Stress Sources Resilience and tenacity have become weakened. Feels overtaxed, worn out, and getting nowhere, but continues to stand her ground. She feels this adverse situation as an actual tangible pressure which is intolerable to her and from which she wants to escape, but she feels unable to make the necessary decision. Your Restrained Characteristics Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity. Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation. Your Desired Objective Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermining others' confidence in herself Your Actual Problem The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond her capabilities, or her reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. She attempts to remedy this by intense activity and by insistence on getting her own way. Faulty self-control can lead to ungovernable displays of anger. Your Actual Problem #2 The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity. click on a shape Introspective Sensitive Reflective You come to grips more frequently and thoroughly with yourself and your environment than do most people. You detest superficiality; you'd rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk. But your relationships with your friends are very strong, which gives you the inner tranquility and harmony that you require. You do not mind being alone for extended periods of time; you rarely become bored.

colorgenics
You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to 'All things bright and beautiful'. This personifies a caring person, a person who 'needs' and indeed 'needs to be needed'.

Of late, everything seems to be going so slowly - far slower than you anticipated - and this is causing you much anxiety and frustration. It would appear that there is little you can do about the series of events that now seem to be taking place. In spite of the fact that you feel like 'giving up' - don't. Take a deep breath and start over again and you will find that eventually the expression 'All's well that ends well' will have an extra special meaning for you.

The way things are, you feel that you are stuck in a rut and there is not much you can do about it. You feel frustrated and inhibited but if you can find a way to let yourself go, you may find that things aren't quite so bad as perhaps you thought they were. One consolation is that since you are an extremely emotional individual, with the right person you may be able to release some of that frustration and tension with some mutual tender loving care.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalize but you need to realize a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

The Map
The Map personality is often deeply and intimately involved in the world. This world however is usually inside his/her own mind. Thoughtful to the extreme, this type is often obsessed with perfection and the rules governing their own personal interests. They are generally good-natured people, and are often in areas not important to them very easy-going. Step across the line in regard to something the Map deems important however and you will recognize the wrath of the true believer. Principles to the Map are generally black and white. Their understanding of these principles however are always in question. Because the Map personality believes strongly in justice, it will often question its own perceptions, in fear that a mistake could have disastrous consequences. This prevents the Map personality from becoming too dictatorial or didactic.

ABC
You seem to have a Type B personality. Your personality draws characteristics from each of the other personality types, that is, Type A and Type C. Either you adjust your behavior depending on the situation, or you tend to be moderated in your attitudes. In any case, you are the most balanced of the three personality types.

oh well...
enoughz enoughz..
nite nite
*hugz

stupid math... i realli dislike prob solving.... oh well... i dont realli see tha point of thiz week... i mean they say itz meant 2 be stress less and all... but EVERYTHING is due NEXT WEEK!!!! i mean realli... 4m 1 extreme 2 anotha... and then all followed by work ex... bz bz term.... okz... oh well... sometimez some pplz realli get on mi nervez and annoy me... thinkin bout it... i could say i realli hate them but then tha word hate iz quite strong... but then some pplz i noe... *shakez head* i mean they are hypocritez.. and they dont seem 2 realise... if they do still.... or i could say they jus r 2 harsh wen they make their commentz... (and thiz aint directed at u scar...) i mean even if they aint gonna hear it realli iznt rite of u 2 judge em...

i mean itz practicalli human nature 2 judge everythin in sight...
but still.. even if ure gonna voice it... u realli shouldnt unless u understand their circumstances or situation...


i mean by judgin so quickly.. judgin by name... appearance... and maybe how they act... u dont realli get 2 noe em.. it jus leadz 2 racism and discrimination by judgin 2 quickly... every1 doez it... but then if pplz keep it 2 a minimum.. then everythin'd be fine... if not... at least betta...


but then there are some cases where ure first judgement of tha person realli how they are by appearance...
*sigh*
i talkin round in circlez...
maybe i just talkin in circlez coz therez no1 2 talk 2 atm...
i mean pplz jus not replyin for some reason or otha...
*sigh*
every1 has their own reason...



oh well...
betta sleep now...
nite nite
*hugz
[still 17 daiz 2 go...]

stupid math... i realli dislike prob solving.... oh well... i dont realli see tha point of thiz week... i mean they say itz meant 2 be stress less and all... but EVERYTHING is due NEXT WEEK!!!! i mean realli... 4m 1 extreme 2 anotha... and then all followed by work ex... bz bz term.... okz... oh well... sometimez some pplz realli get on mi nervez and annoy me... thinkin bout it... i could say i realli hate them but then tha word hate iz quite strong... but then some pplz i noe... *shakez head* i mean they are hypocritez.. and they dont seem 2 realise... if they do still.... or i could say they jus r 2 harsh wen they make their commentz... (and thiz aint directed at u scar...) i mean even if they aint gonna hear it realli iznt rite of u 2 judge em...

i mean itz practicalli human nature 2 judge everythin in sight...
but still.. even if ure gonna voice it... u realli shouldnt unless u understand their circumstances or situation...


i mean by judgin so quickly.. judgin by name... appearance... and maybe how they act... u dont realli get 2 noe em.. it jus leadz 2 racism and discrimination by judgin 2 quickly... every1 doez it... but then if pplz keep it 2 a minimum.. then everythin'd be fine... if not... at least betta...


but then there are some cases where ure first judgement of tha person realli how they are by appearance...
*sigh*
i talkin round in circlez...
maybe i just talkin in circlez coz therez no1 2 talk 2 atm...
i mean pplz jus not replyin for some reason or otha...
*sigh*
every1 has their own reason...



oh well...
betta sleep now...
nite nite
*hugz
[still 17 daiz 2 go...]

commerce

commerce atm...

meant 2 be doin prof and loss statement..

but then i dont understand wat 2 do...

so now i got somethin 2 do...

or it seemz like i'm doin somethin...

lianz actualli gettin tha work done as usual....

joanne iz at a music lesson..

melissaz jus on friendster (again..)



nothin 2 do...

tha net connectionz stuffed up...

and melissaz askin me y it not workin..

-.-"

i mean i cant help it...

so ye...

i jus half type and half make a pom pom...



hmm... got house act next.. then stupid french and english...

oh well.. at least i'll get 2 jus lie down and read 4 english..

but tha english jounal due soon... >.<



hmm...

wat 2 do now???

so bored....



tha teacha doeznt noe wat shez teachin... i mean she keepz correctin herself...
watz tha point in that????
i prefer ms stein so much more...
pluz commerce iz so borin 4 me...
i guezz i wont be an accountant so bloody borin...
and tha funni thing iz that atm...
everytime i see a relative itz all bout askin wat i subjectz i choosin and wat i wanna be...
i mean i've still got time...
stop buggin me...


in mathz b4...
ms bayly yet again turned on hymnz 2 listen 2...
-.-"
cept thiz time they were those lil kiddee happi 1z that can get so annoyin....
she event tried 2 get us 2 learn 1 of em...
tara got tha 1st verse...
thatz prob y she noez tha namez of tha bookz of tha first testament off by heart....


got bout 5 minz left of class...
bye
*hugz
[17 daiz 2 go...]

*sigh*

s+e... got tha s+e excursion later on 2day... hmm... got commerce next... and then science afta... i guezz tha daiz gonna be okz... theze daiz i dunno y... i keep typin posts but i neva actualli end up publishin em... i mean i may even jus feel like typin 1 up... then by tah time tah screen actualli loadz... i jus sitt and stare at tha screen find somethin else 2 do and then i wont end up postin ne thing.. *sigh* hmm... i noticed... mondayz i also usualli jus go 2 tha shop..... grab heapza junkfood... and then spend monday evenin bingin on food.. me jus gett fatter and fatter.... oh well.. i wonder sometimez... i mean i think of mi life as full of responsibilitiez.. but i wonder if they realli r there... i mean... i noe i've got mi lil sister 2 worry bout.... but do i jus mother her and try 2 do 2 much??? do i jus choose 2 have thiz responsibility??? i mean like gar said i could alwaiz refuse it... so do i choose 2 actualli take on tha reponisibilitiez... or r they actualli there... do i realli hav a choice in it all??? *sigh* and then... therez mi skool work... i noe that i do hav 2 do it... but y dont i??? do i hav mi prioritiez ordered in tha rong way??? wat do i value??? wat do i actualli think iz important??? *think think think* ugh... itz rainin again... see??? so easily distracted... oh well... must concentrate more... but then i'm distracted 4m mi class work by typin thiz post... oh well... time iz tickin away... time time time... how i hate it sometimez... "time iz a precious resource" sayz mr o... -.-" i guezz every1z runnin outta it... i handed in mi science subject form in thiz mornin... i doubt i'd get mi choicez tho... hmmm.. i wonder... y dont pplz think.... some pplz i guezz jus get along in life.. jus havin fun... dont stop 2 think or read tha fine linez... i mean i'm not directin thiz at ne 1 in particular... but still... there are pplz who jus waste time.... and get good resultz... and there r those who work so hard... and still dont achieve their goal... and those who work very hard and finalli do... i mean... eg. there are some pplz in mi science class... they r in tha top class.. yet they jus dont do ne thing... they fool round... and therez like lian.. who workz so hard... i wonder... am i 1 of those pplz who realli waste time??? i prob am.. but itz not like mi markz are that good... maybe i realli should get mi act 2 getha and get bak on trak.. come 2 think of it... i spent most of last yr slackin off in s+e and english... maybe thatz y i got pretty bad class... i mean i have practicalli no consistancy in ne of mi work... i dont even remember a time of workin hard... lalalalalala... nearly end of class... i need somethin 2 do... gar.. i'll put up tha metaphorz 2nite prob 4 u kz??? um... wat else 2 say in tha last 2 minz??? oh well... betta publish tha post... thiz time i aint gonna jus close it.. bye *hugz [18 daiz 2 go...]

i realli give up... tha middle of thiz blog iz realli stuffed up... i spent most of last nite tryin 2 fix it 2 later realise it wz tha layoutz of each individual post... so i deleted some of tha stuffed up onez...
so ye... therez some posts missin...

okz...
yesterday wz pretty borin... and so wz tha day b4... tha drill comp iz comin up next w/e... i'll prob have 2 go... coz i dont have a reason not 2 go... pluz i'm stuck on tha cheer sqd... i mean it wz that or i'd have 2 do tha air rec thingy... i mean i'm REALLI crap at air rec...so ye..

therez tha fieldcraft camp at bindoon comin up as well...
*sigh* jus lookin at mi diary... therez so much comin up!!!
ugh... i mean therez all thiz stuff...so bz!!!

hmm... jus realised... next week'll be 1 yr since i first rote in thiz current blog... i cant believe itz been onli 1 yr...
seemz like agez ago...

oh well...
betta get mi hw done...
maybe post again 2 nite...

ugh cant remember tha last time i posted..
ne waiz...
wat happend in tha last few daiz...
mi sista sprained her ankle...
and thatz bout all that realli happend that i can remember...


there goez mi memory...


i jus got bak 4m cadetz...
we had pplz 4m hk come... they were like 4m tha hk air force pplz or somethin....
watched drill sqd... and then afta i heard em say...
"letz go" as soon as we were told 2 clean up...
lolz they were so eager 2 leave...
and tha thing iz they said it so loud but then like no 1 understand canto so i guezz it wz fine...


hmmm... got chinese skool 2moro...
garz i dunno y but i cant open ure blog...


damn... i cant change that template coz blog skinz stuffed up atm...
oh well...


so....


nothin 2 do...
life so borin sometimez...
but then i have mi hw 2 do... yet i dont do it.... me so lazy... thatz prob y some of mi gradez drop...


hmm.. there wz that engineerin thingy that ms bayley wz talkin bout... i wonder if i should try out... but then i dont exactly wanna show pplz mi report... oh welll... tryin out has no harm...
hmm...
betta go 2 sleep...
nite nite
*hugz

*sigh* so bored... Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia tha fear of long wordz... how sad... i mean how mean iz it??? i feel sorry 4 tha pplz that have that fear... they have tha fear yet wen they need 2 explain it they scare themselvez 2 death... hmm... i spent 2 hours at tha piano 2 day... thatz like hta longest i've played since i dont practise... i guezz i wz jus havin bitta fun 4 once... i mean tha piecez i played started gettin so familiar mi mind started jus wonderin off... and i guezz it wz quite relaxin.. 4 once i actualli enjoyed tha piano... mmm... white burgandy.. ne waiz... wat 2 talk bout... so strange... 2 nite... everytime i open a convo 2 talk.. afta a while every1 go offline straight away... am i that much of a reject or loner??? *sigh* oh well... i dunno y... theze daiz i like playin instrumentz... i mean itz not that i didnt like playin em b4.. but now i like 2 more than i usualli do... or it could jus be tha white burgandy... er... betta get sleep nite nite *hugz

commerce

in commerce atm...
got bout 45 minz b4 i have 2 go...
got notha performance... >.<

last nite i had tha mini harp performance... i did SO crap...

i kept stuffin up...

oh well...



but i guezz itd be heapz worse if i stuff up at tha joondalup eisteidford (how eva spell)...

we're up against st stephenz chior mainly... and chorale has pulled out...

i mean thatz good 4 us...

but then... that meanz that we as a skool prob not win 4 that section...
*sigh*

at least i miss out on skool... but then i also miss out on free dress day...

but then if i wz gonna dress up i wouldnt noe wat 2 wear ne waiz...

i hope mi harp teacha wont find out bout me performin as a choir 4 tha eistedford coz...

she wz liek encouragin 4 me 2 perform on tha harp there.. and tha onli reason she gave up...

wz that i told her that mi parentz wouldnt let me go 4 so much competition....

and now i'm goin 2 go sing...

oh well...

durin tha rehersal thiz mornin... it seemed like every single one of her correctionz were aimed at me... oh well... i neva said i wz good at singin... i jus love 2 sing :D



wat else??? oh in mathz jus b4.. i couldnt believe it... ms bayley had her comp on... and had windowz media player on... so i thought she mite play some music... she told us that she'd play some music on tha comp... turned out 2 be HYMNS!!! -.-" i mean realli... i wouldnt have even minded if it were classical music... BUT they were hymnz... tha onez that we sung 4 college sunday!!! but by some otha random vocalist...



hmm...

maybe i'll jus leave earli...

tara jus told tha teacher we leavin in 17 minz...

wat 2 say for bout 15 minz???

lalala...

scar it tha name of tha song i think wz renew mi heart lord...
oh welll mite as well log offnow...
no point in typin ne morez since i cant think of ne thin 2 say...
bye
*hugz

*sigh* me feelin realli sick... i mean durin p.e. i wz liek seein lil white thingyz floatin everywhere... we played modcrosse... and i ran in2 elissa a few timez... kat got hit by tha ball a few timez as well lolz.... and then afta she asked me 2 look at her head 2 see if she wz bleedin... so cute^^ i cant believe itz thurz... itz like tha time iz goin very slowly yet not as slow as i think... sorta fast and slow... oh well... at least i gettin heapza music practise done.... damn i g2g... bye *hugz

life...

thoughtz thoughtz endlezz thouhtz...
sometimez i guezz wen i realli get bored...
endlezz thoughtz jus run thru mi brain..
and it startz wonderin...
or it could jus be lack of sleep...
oh well...
main point...
i can realli get a headache 4m all thiz thinkin... and yet... wen i do type out mi thoughtz... most of tha time mi comp accidentalli closes it stopz respondin...




gar...
wen u said u me 2 rite in para...
did u mean para as in divided up..
or like chunkz of ritin that goez all tha way across tha page...?
oh well...
i do half half...
and pplz who read can decide...




so ye...most of tha time... tha thoughtz i rite down doez get lost... so somtimez it seemz like there iz no point in ritin mi thoughtz... tha effort 2 actualli type it out iz lost... *sigh* yet it'd be easier 2 type out than actualli rite it out in a diary... pluz itz somethin i can do wen i'm at skool and wen i'm bored... i wonder wat mi life'd be like wit out tha net ne morez... prob i'd be bak 2 watchin tv every nite... doin ne thin 2 avoid doin hw... i guezz itz liek a way of escapin tha thoughtz that come across in mi mind.... i mean realli... sometimez i feel so depressed jus sittin and thinkin... thoughtz runnin thru mi mind... but then i realli love jus sittin down and talkin 2 pplz or jus 2 sit and listen 2 pplz... but then i'm realli crap at comfortin pplz wen they sad... all i can do is jus sit and be wit em in their time of sadness i guezz... i wonder if that realli iz enough... *sigh* but then i guezz havin some1 wit u wen ure feelin realli bad iz good... but then itz like they dont understand... *sigh*




oh well.... hmmm... opportunitiez in life come and go... i guezz sometimez if u dont sieze em... they sometimez neva come bak... but then if u realli wanna... but then wen i think bak 2 thingz i wanted 2 do... itz like tha opportunitez have gone... i mean thinkin bout it soon our high skool livez will be ova... most pplz would have achieved somethin... but then wen i think bout wat i've done... itz like there iz nothin... nothin worth rememberin... cept tha happi daiz i had wit friendz... sometimez itz enough but somez reflectin bak itz as if it wznt enough afta all... everythin wz wasted....




i mean sometimez... itz like there iz no point at all... but then sometimez life iz like thiz whole competition... i mean even i mi famili itz liek competition... therez tha educational part.. and then jus parentz who have siblin rivalry and like are comparin children 2 compare raisin skillz... i mean realli... itz like so competitive as if we have 2 strive 2 be tha most favourd child and grandchild... i mean... i even had 2 get up and sing in chinese 4 tha whole family jsu 2 show how betta am i am... i mean i udnerstand if they wanna be proud and all that... but still... itz like therez heapza pressure... 2 be 'perfect...' i mean on mi mumz side itz like pretty eazi... since i am like tha eldest /child daughter of tha onli daughter... so ye... but like on mi dadz side itz like full competative... i mean they've even gone down 2 if they marry well and blah blah blah... i mean on mi mumz side mi couz iz gettin married soon... and like itz actualli quite interestin that shez gettin married tha same as mi mum wz married and i am like tha same age as she wz wen mi mum got married.... ne waiz... like afta her on mi mumz side therez liek only bout 3 more and then itz like 2 me... and every1 will be lookin at me... i mean even like mi lil couzin jessica noticed that... i mean at chineze skool like durin one of tha recesses she siad 2 me... on our side/ mi dadz.. therez liek 2 more and then pplz will be lookin at me 2 get married... i mean itz suddenly a pressure 2 get married.. i mean last time i saw pplz they were askin if i have a bf yet... *sigh* but that wz like sometime last yr or tha yr b4... but then it may not be me on thiz side coz therez still inge and vincent... but on mi mumz side... therez like thiz gap... and itz like jus me only... *sigh* i think i'll think bout thiz sometime later...




wat else...? starz starz starz... me makin paper starz.... sometimez i wonder... destiny... iz there such a thing??? do we need 2 work 2 meet tha destiny ritten 4 us??? or do we jus float along life wit tha destiny leadin us along tha way... or choicez... do choicez affect destiny??? or are our choicez made accordinly 2 wat destiny has ritten out 4 us??? or iz it jus that there iz no such thing as destiny... and our future iz all tha consequencez of our choicez??? *sigh* r these q meant 2 be answered??? or r we put here 2 answer our own questionz... of our dear inquisitive mind....? *sigh* and then... wat bout love??? r u destined 2 be wit a particular person??? or do u jus come across some 1 and then doez wat happen meant 2 happen??? whether they stay 2getha or drift apart... wat bout friendship??? do pplz jus "clik" or do u have 2 actualli develop a trust... as u talk more and get 2 noe eacha otha??? *sigh* life long questionz i guezz... questionz that appear in mi head wen i have nothin 2 do... jus lettin mi mind wonder....
*sigh*

mi time on tha net iz up...
nite nite
*hugz

F*ck... -.- i lost mi post 4 like tha 5th time 2 day.. -.-" i realli havin bad day... maybe i jus cant eva take tha time 2 say wat i thinkin... *sigh* maybe if i remember... i'll rite it out 2moro nite... hopefulli i'll remember... gettin late ne waiz... but i'll start ritin it... if i dotn fini i fini 2 moro nite... actualli realli cant be stuffed ne morez... i'll get mi thoughtz 2 pplz one day... i have a whole life time 4 that... well nite nite *hugz*

Commerce

in commerce...

*sigh*

nothin 2 do...

hmmm our class is gettin ivaded by yr 12z...

oh well...

hmm...

i realli wonder...

should i realli be that truthful on mi blog...

so open...

i mean i could put on a javascript like gar...

but then i'd actualli have 2 go round tellin pplz wat tha word iz 2 get thru and stuffz...

hmmm...

i havent put in tha archivez bak in2 thiz blog...

should i???

but then therez not realli ne point in it...

pplz are actualli doin work now...

maybe i should...

or maybe i jus cant be stuffed...

*sigh*

2 tired i guezz...

i slept at like 11pm last nite...

but then for tha first time...

i'm actualli REALLI sleepy durin tha day...

ususalli by recess i'm fine...

and interestinly i had slept at 11...

which iz 1 hour earlier than tha time i sleep these daiz...

maybe i juss need 2 get heapza rest....

or maybe i slept realli bad last nite...

*sigh*

oh well...

damn...

i have piano/guitar 2 day...

lookz like i wont be gettin 2 sleep afta skool...

-.-

i mean i could jus lie down and fall asleep rite now...

... zzzZz...zzzzzzZzzzzzz...zzzzzzZzzzzzz....zzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzz
so sleepy...

and there iz like nothin 2 do...

so i jus have 2 sit here and type out wat i'm thinkin atm...

hmmm...

s+e next...

gr8...

get 2 fall asleep listenin 2 econ...

i mean mr o iz a realli nice teacha..

but he doeznt force us 2 hand stuff in..

or ne thing like that...

jus 2 slack...

so all i eva do is jus sit and talk...

or jus fall asleep....

and itz like last period so y not???

i can bearly keep mi eyez open...

hmmm..

wat 2 do afta piano/guitar???

prob 2 dark..

if not maybe i could go and rollerblade...

and gett realli hurt..

coz of mi lack of balance...

but i guezz itz like tha onli way of keepin mi sista entertained...

and stop her 4m annoyin me...

but then if itz liek 2 dark it juz feelz dangerouz...

pluz i doubt i even have a sense of balance so how???

i prob will end up wit heapza injuriez...

i mean tha scar 4m last time haz bearly gone yet...

-.-

now i jus got a patch of linez on tha side of mi leg...

oh well...

or...

wat else could i do???

i noe let mi sista play simz and i could sleep!!!

nah...

i'll prob end up goin online and jus talk 4 a while...

maybe type in thiz blogg 4 a lil while..

and then mi parnetz will come home...

and then i'll ahve 2 sleep ne waiz...

hmmm...

strange..

some of tha blog posts are sided in tha middle...

and some are jus 4m tha left...

i wonder y...

oh well...

damn...

i 4got 2 check tha timez 4 mi music lesson 2 moro...

oh well...

at least i got tha discus thingy sorted out...

i got so freaked out thiz mornin..

tha coach 4 discus came 2 me 2 ask me 2 go see her...

and then it wz bout trainin and y i didnt turn up...

then luckkily i checked my diary and i wont be here 4 tha IGSSA athz carnival...

yay!!

that meanz i dont have 2 compete which meanz no trainin...!!! yay!!!

i still cant believe i got in in tha first place...

21.05 m iznt realli a throw i could do...

musta been a huge mistake....

itz gettin funni...

i remember bak wen i just started postin...

there wz like nothin 2 talk bout...

now i jus rite wat i'm thinkin atm...

b4 i wz alwaiz choosin wat 2 include...

i guezz i wz much more cautious bak then...

oh well....

pplz change...

therez nothin 2 do...

commerce iz so borin...

our orderz have sorta stopped comin in...

oh well...

all we can do iz jus hope 2 sell more 4 small business day...

but thatd mean heapza work...

i mean our whole group sorta slacked off...

all cept lian of course...

*sigh*

y do i sigh so much more theze daiz???
thoughtz???
plauged mind...???

hmmm...

i jus noticed..

wenever i find timez where i sorta feel bad..

i jus usualli talk 2 some1...

or type in thiz blog...

if not i seem2 go and practise mi music...

itz sorta like a form of strezz release...

or sorta like somethin 2 think bout 2 stop me 4m thinkin that much...

time...

a precious resouce which we cannot hold to...

we may wish for it 2 go faster...

or slower...

but it jus goez on at itz own pace...

y?!?!!?!?!?!?

wen i seem 2 have tha worst time..

it jus slowz down 2 tha slowest possible rate...

and wen i'm actualli enjoyin life..

it jus fliez by....

and wen u think bak bout it...

it jus sadenz me 2 think bout all that time that i may have lost...

as if i wasted it....

*sigh*

need somethin else 2 think bout...

itz startin 2 get depressin again...

i wonder....

i realli wonder y life goez on tha way it doez..

wen u wanna spend heapza time wit pplz...

itz seemz limited..

as if there iz no such thing as time...

as if everythin has no purpose...

as if we're jus driftin along...

waitin 4 our ending...

*sigh*

okz...

need new thought soon b4 i drown in depression...

er...

holidaiz..

hmmm..

wat comin up..

tha rs!!!

but then thatz spendin heapza money...

i mean realli....

so much can be spent...

hmmm..

mi parentz were thinkin of havin a stall there thiz yr..

should they???

i guezz if they did i'd be gettin free entrance as alwaiz...

but then i'd be workin..

but then i'd still get 2 go round a lil...

waste...

waste of money...

tha rs iz such a waste of money...

but then we still want 2 go...

and there realli iz no main difference...

4 minz till end of class...

a class i wasted time doin nothin but typin out mi thoughtz...

oh well...

bye

*hugz

new blogskin

okz...
afta agez of edittin...
i've changed tha template/blogskin...
wateva...
itz more condensed...
less spacious...
but then u dont have 2 scroll so far 2 tha rite...
tha old template wz sorta borin me...
even afta all that effort...
2 work out how 2 get tha snow 2 work...
oh well...

ne waiz...
had college sunday 2day...
annoyin day where they decided 2 have a church...
sermon thingy on a sun...
2 make us go 2 skool in uniform...
and giv em money 2 give 2 charity...
2 make it look like tha skoolz realli charitable...
*shakez headz*
i mean how much money doez our skool have???
y not jus use that money???
but no...
our skool iz like a business....
have 2 get profitz outta our parentz....
and waste it on serviettez wit tha skool logo on it...
and random itemz which we dont need...
such as those random balloonz...
and yo-yoz...
i mean who wit a rite mind would want a yoyo...
wit tha skool logo on it...???
ugh...
and wat else do they have???
stupid bookmarkz....
and random pamphletz....
i mean itz a whole marketin thing...
and wat r we???
as studentz we are sorta tha productz that they're marketin...
-.-"
and yet we are bound by their rulez....
and we get nuffin...
no bloody aircon in ne of tha roomz...
otha than tha RC...
-.-"
and there wz tha bloody shirt incedent...
y did mr lee have 2 sign that contract...
4 bout 7yrz worth of that material???
i mean i noe tha yr 12z want their individuality...
y not find some otha privilidge?
i hate tha colour green...
y doez our skool make tha most stupid desicionz???
i mean wznt tha uniform blu b4 then they changed it...
jus 2 suit that green and gold tie???
i mean tha WHOLE uniform jus 4 one tie...
*takez a breath in*

hmmm....
betta talk bout somethin else...
b4 i bore every1...
so we had college sunday...
and it fini round 11:30...
garz dad took us 2 tha ct...
me dia and gar walked round 4 a while...
ate lunch down a tha food hall....
then went shoppin...

me and dia bought similar skirtz 4m sportzgal...
but then mine $10 cheaper...
hehe
mine wz denim and diaz i cant remember...
walked down 2 diva...
were bout 2 buy some earringz...
gar and i stayed in tha store..
and dia went 2 get her jap exchange sistaz...
(cant remember their namez... -.-")
they came bak...
and we sorta walked round....
took em 2 some souvenir placez...
so that they could buy prezziez 4 pplz....

walked round 4 bit longer...
well...
until 5pm...
gar went home...
me and dia and 2 jap exchange pplz went by train...
got bak 2 claremont...
and dia and em walked off somewhere...
and i walked bak 2 hj...
and jus waited 4 mum 2 pick me up...

so ye...
thatz all thatz happend 2day...
at least we all bought at least one thing....

these daiz...
thinkin bout it...
we're actualli startin 2 fit in2 tha stereo type of a typical teenager...
interestin...
but then not entirely fittin....

hmmm...
no 1 2 talk 2...
most tha pplz online are either bz...
or away...
-.-"
wat iz up wit that on a sun nite???
or maybe jus gettin their hw done...
unlike me...
and i dunno...
tha rest of tha otha pplz i dont feel like talkin 2...
no offence if ure readin.....
me jus bein truthful...

i wonder y tha truth hurt sometimez...
i noe itz tha whole thing that u see wat u dont wanna...
but then y dont we wanna noe tha truth???
see tha truth???
y do we wanna hide away in our lil worldz...
thinkin that every thin iz good...
jus as we want...
y cant we as pplz jus accept that there iz bad...
and jus try 2 resolve it instead of igronin it...
but i guezz...
thru ignorance we gain tha bliss...
of jus not noein there iz a bad side...
of our big bad world...

but i guezz...
there iz tha whole balance theory...
where they say there iz a balance...
for good and evil....
and jus lucki thingz and unlucky...
but iz there a balance for everythin???
if thiz wz tru...
would that mean for every good deed done...
and a bad deed may occur????
or every bad deed done a good occurz...???
or doeznt it happen at all???
maybe deedz good or bad occur...
because some1 choosez 2 perform it???
or doez it happen by chance...
or destiny???

and then they also say...
knowledge iz power...
but then...
if thiz iz so...
then would be ignorant and not learnin ne thing....
leave u defenseless and blissful???
or iz it that ignorance iz talkin bout not bein observant???
but then by observin do u not learn???
and by learnin u gain knowledge...
which inturn iz power accordin 2 tha sayin...
so...
wat doez it all mean???
do tha quotez contradict???
or do they all tie in 2getha???
iz there a greater picture we have yet 2 see???

and then i wonder...
do i reveal that much bout mi self in tha way i post???
do i actualli say that much bout me and pplz round me???
god...
i think i startin 2 get a headache...
suddenly so much thinkin...
-.-"

i need 2 think of stuff 2 rite...
i dunno...
but sometimez it feelz like thiz has turned in2 mi diary...
so much easier 2 rite in thiz...
than tha diary i have...
i guezz it goez along wit tha convenience thing...
hmmm...
mi thoughtz so borin 2 read...

oh well...
gettin late..
nite nite
*hugz