life...

thoughtz thoughtz endlezz thouhtz...
sometimez i guezz wen i realli get bored...
endlezz thoughtz jus run thru mi brain..
and it startz wonderin...
or it could jus be lack of sleep...
oh well...
main point...
i can realli get a headache 4m all thiz thinkin... and yet... wen i do type out mi thoughtz... most of tha time mi comp accidentalli closes it stopz respondin...




gar...
wen u said u me 2 rite in para...
did u mean para as in divided up..
or like chunkz of ritin that goez all tha way across tha page...?
oh well...
i do half half...
and pplz who read can decide...




so ye...most of tha time... tha thoughtz i rite down doez get lost... so somtimez it seemz like there iz no point in ritin mi thoughtz... tha effort 2 actualli type it out iz lost... *sigh* yet it'd be easier 2 type out than actualli rite it out in a diary... pluz itz somethin i can do wen i'm at skool and wen i'm bored... i wonder wat mi life'd be like wit out tha net ne morez... prob i'd be bak 2 watchin tv every nite... doin ne thin 2 avoid doin hw... i guezz itz liek a way of escapin tha thoughtz that come across in mi mind.... i mean realli... sometimez i feel so depressed jus sittin and thinkin... thoughtz runnin thru mi mind... but then i realli love jus sittin down and talkin 2 pplz or jus 2 sit and listen 2 pplz... but then i'm realli crap at comfortin pplz wen they sad... all i can do is jus sit and be wit em in their time of sadness i guezz... i wonder if that realli iz enough... *sigh* but then i guezz havin some1 wit u wen ure feelin realli bad iz good... but then itz like they dont understand... *sigh*




oh well.... hmmm... opportunitiez in life come and go... i guezz sometimez if u dont sieze em... they sometimez neva come bak... but then if u realli wanna... but then wen i think bak 2 thingz i wanted 2 do... itz like tha opportunitez have gone... i mean thinkin bout it soon our high skool livez will be ova... most pplz would have achieved somethin... but then wen i think bout wat i've done... itz like there iz nothin... nothin worth rememberin... cept tha happi daiz i had wit friendz... sometimez itz enough but somez reflectin bak itz as if it wznt enough afta all... everythin wz wasted....




i mean sometimez... itz like there iz no point at all... but then sometimez life iz like thiz whole competition... i mean even i mi famili itz liek competition... therez tha educational part.. and then jus parentz who have siblin rivalry and like are comparin children 2 compare raisin skillz... i mean realli... itz like so competitive as if we have 2 strive 2 be tha most favourd child and grandchild... i mean... i even had 2 get up and sing in chinese 4 tha whole family jsu 2 show how betta am i am... i mean i udnerstand if they wanna be proud and all that... but still... itz like therez heapza pressure... 2 be 'perfect...' i mean on mi mumz side itz like pretty eazi... since i am like tha eldest /child daughter of tha onli daughter... so ye... but like on mi dadz side itz like full competative... i mean they've even gone down 2 if they marry well and blah blah blah... i mean on mi mumz side mi couz iz gettin married soon... and like itz actualli quite interestin that shez gettin married tha same as mi mum wz married and i am like tha same age as she wz wen mi mum got married.... ne waiz... like afta her on mi mumz side therez liek only bout 3 more and then itz like 2 me... and every1 will be lookin at me... i mean even like mi lil couzin jessica noticed that... i mean at chineze skool like durin one of tha recesses she siad 2 me... on our side/ mi dadz.. therez liek 2 more and then pplz will be lookin at me 2 get married... i mean itz suddenly a pressure 2 get married.. i mean last time i saw pplz they were askin if i have a bf yet... *sigh* but that wz like sometime last yr or tha yr b4... but then it may not be me on thiz side coz therez still inge and vincent... but on mi mumz side... therez like thiz gap... and itz like jus me only... *sigh* i think i'll think bout thiz sometime later...




wat else...? starz starz starz... me makin paper starz.... sometimez i wonder... destiny... iz there such a thing??? do we need 2 work 2 meet tha destiny ritten 4 us??? or do we jus float along life wit tha destiny leadin us along tha way... or choicez... do choicez affect destiny??? or are our choicez made accordinly 2 wat destiny has ritten out 4 us??? or iz it jus that there iz no such thing as destiny... and our future iz all tha consequencez of our choicez??? *sigh* r these q meant 2 be answered??? or r we put here 2 answer our own questionz... of our dear inquisitive mind....? *sigh* and then... wat bout love??? r u destined 2 be wit a particular person??? or do u jus come across some 1 and then doez wat happen meant 2 happen??? whether they stay 2getha or drift apart... wat bout friendship??? do pplz jus "clik" or do u have 2 actualli develop a trust... as u talk more and get 2 noe eacha otha??? *sigh* life long questionz i guezz... questionz that appear in mi head wen i have nothin 2 do... jus lettin mi mind wonder....
*sigh*

mi time on tha net iz up...
nite nite
*hugz