Can you believe everything you see?

they say that at their weakest point in life
people tend to show their true colours
or in times of adversity in general
so in desparation our expectations or limits
capacities and tolerances change
they may completly surprise themselves n everyone
by acting completely unusual
they may face the dangers face on...
cower n run away..
or..
do whatever they usually do
maybe coz what's happened before
seems as if it could become of use again
what is it they say?
go with the 'tried n tested' ?
(hmm somehow sounds a bit strange
maybe its 'tested n trialled'?
or 'tried n proven'?)

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a month later...
and somehow..
at times it feels as if nothing has changed
at yet others.. its as if im on a new plane
a new playing field..
someone went n had to throw in another dimension
another layer...
and possibly..
yet another problematic complication
things go round
as does the world..
mind you many things in the world are also round
(and at this moment i wonder also
how much my writing voice has changed...
gah.. damn you critical thinking in pubh!!)

but but but...
when you think about life...
how often is it that you think about family?
not like not think at all but in relation to problems
not like communication problems between you n your parents
but rather those 'scandals' those skeletons in those closets
those things that for example elections
where politicians have all their dirt dug up..
oooo wow ruddy went to a night club...
and those celebrities..
oh what did she get up to...
or him oh.. he so shouldnt have done that...
marriages
divorces
deaths
all in our everyday lives all around us..
and of course.. those scandelous moments...
and then after the gale.. everything settles
and every small particle
just falls and finds its place to rest
and in some cases its seems as if nothing had gone by before
had such a thing even happened?
it gets pushed to the past
possibly forgotten
but like any single moment
history can repeat itself
and with gusts indicating a storm rising again
mixed with the smallest remain of previous assults
that may not have been caught up in some disagreements
are once again the trigger point for a whole new tornado
hmm tho mind you the analogy really doesnt work
since the weather comparison doesnt work that way...
but.. maybe you can get the point.
basically. use the common one.
from the smallest of seeds a great tree can grow
but on the negative side...
coz growing trees is a positive coz we can convert more waste
and on a quicker time scale too...
think cascades and nuclear fission (i think?)
i cant remember physics anymore

============================================================
but back to those skeletons
those things that haunt our brightest dreams
of the romanticised perfect lives in peace n harmony..
mind you. not that i am saying
every single person defines this as happiness
and this is what we strive for..
but think the american dream and the aussie dream
they have their common themes
these occurrences which break up the perfection
as much as we hear about those problems
those issues and just go by day by day
not realising or giving a thought to that 'hey thank god its not me'
and entirely taking the family around them for granted
or focusing on their smaller questions and issues
as if it dominates their great microcosm

or actually thinking 'thank god its not me'
but never stopping to realise
how close these issues are to home
its just like cancer..
what only like 1 in 3 people
know of someone who has had cancer
so it such a distant issue since im the lucky 2
but hey..
who knew... it wouldnt happen to me
but it still struck a chord..
it hurts everyone...
to some scale misfortunes occur in every microcosm
it strikes, you deal, n you just gotta keep on walking
or.. if you're drowinig in quick shit..
just keep hanging on...
things keep sprialling further n further down
as if the cycle won't end
coz its definate that for sure
that one thing triggers the next
but its for the people around you that you live
that you live and keep going on...
they love you and no matter what you must keep going forward
why voluntarily cut it short?
for all you know..
things may take a turn for the best soon
maybe just around the corner
you just have to hold with that blind hope and faith
that with each fistful of crap
that you strive to take a grip on
for every stone above your head you reach for
there may be a time that you will be able to rise above it all
and what you will see is the beautiful horizon
and that all those tears...
all that crap...
all that pain you had held in.. that you hardened against
will feel worth while..
it was over and you had made it.
until then...
you walk along that line of uncertainty.
that same point where you meander...
you tilt and tip
you swing from side to side
which side will you land?

is everyone the same?
can you place the world population
on a set of scales and
find a balance against a single stereotype?
no.. its not that way
in the measurement you find variances
those strange exceptions to things in life
those point mutations and missenses
that seem to distort a single view
however..
in the view its so much easier to omit these extrapolations
than to fully accomodate and to rearrange the generalisations made
and on the other hand.. in the other light
once wronged to call someone insane
or to just apply a negative label from a single to a group
its easier not to believe anymore
to escape and shut out
to just hide and run.

but those skeletons are still there..
they're just lurking behind...
in the shadows in the dark
but in the neverending bleakness
what do you see?
what is it that you may be able to comprehend
amongst all that nothingness?
is it even a possibility to be able to
confirm what you see or understand is the whole picture
that what you claim to be there is really there
that there is no other feature that is unknownst to you?
(is that even the correct usage of 'unknowst'?)

is it overthinking?
is it an underlying current?
is it coincidence?
is it plausable?
is it superstition?
is it misfortune?
is it karma?
is it a curse?
is it ghosts?
is it the accumulated deleted chain mails come to haunt?

are you safe?
and your loved ones?
why did this happen?
it doesnt seem right.
better to have lost material things
life is the most valuable
with all the material things we treasure in this world
we placed them there ourselves
that is how they gained their value
their function or their conveinence
its due to our laziness
we indulge in that and thus we place value
on that which facilitates our indulgence
the luxury goods which gives rise to our status
but where does that lead us?
with all that money, status and power..
influence?
control?
but they have their limits

pushing and shoving
taking and grabbing
stripping the lands of their goods
what does that give you?
you did minimal for what you have
and when it ends?
you always need more
it will never be sufficient
the hunger never remains satiated
and once again you're back there desparate again

it goes round and round and round and round
if it doesnt happen to you
its someone else
but why...
why does it happen?
is it completely unavoidable?
completely inevitable?
what can be done?

will they listen?
will they heed?
no.. its a load of bullcrap!
or will they just wake up on their own?
that with time they learn?
is it worth your time reaching out?
is it worth changing them one by one?
is it possible to even do so?
or given the chance will they return to the familiar?
the flux of improvement and decline from the general norm?

the skeletons will always be there
the monkey on your back
the crawling darkness creeping in your mind
filling every crack..
consuming.
corrupting.
conspiring.
conquering.
can you resist?
bringing the beginning to the end...

can you believe EVERYTHING you see?

-Del