Essence of Life...

what is it for you?
what makes you feel alive,
that your life is worth living?
for me its music and love.
and looking around me sometimes
i think about the times when you know..
life was that much more simple.
in the absence of all these confusing matters
in the absence of the layer after layer of confusion
the drowning under overwhelming expectations and deadlines
each one adding to the pile of unbelievable
indescribable feeling of endlessness
that the day after day continuum
there seems to be a never ending pile of work
and that the time count by days
was oh so recent became so far away
that the last time i expressed my thoughts
in this free mind dumping land of cyber space
was but only the end of last month
and look its midway into the next already...
whilst to me i thought it had been near to two months

and amazingly...
its only the third week in to being back to uni
*sigh*
and in the very near next few weeks
i can already forsee much stress in times to come..

though throughout all this
gradually, inch by inch
i can sometimes feel myself age
not that you intentionally think about it
but when the mind n body is let loose
just to walk slowly home
or just stopping for a rest
and i can just see
the slight feelings sometimes
of the stretch n strains of each day
taking their toll continually
and funny that..
with the hols having just past
im already wishing for a break to refresh
and to renergise

sometimes. as with social situations
i sorta mentally cringe with some new confrontations
its as if internally i sigh
slowly reaching for that social mask all over again
reaching down to grab that smile again
plaster it on my face
n just sit through it all over again
another sea of unfamiliar faces
or for those i think i know too well
or that i feel to casual with
maybe somethings are really better left unsaid
or maybe if it were possible to take some actions back
or to eat some words that had slipped the tongue

i like shredders...
they got one recently at work..
its so cool.. its like feeding a bulldog your hw :P

mm i think i'll end it here
nite nite
-Del