Hello, I'm New... and who may I ask.. are you?

Hello, hello, hello.
strange that....
a word i dont even say that often anymore.
i realised that just the other day.
walking back from uni and back to work.
or rather, i don't quite remember saying it
then it makes me wonder.
how many people i do come across in my day to day life.

later yester-night..
it felt as if time gone backwards again.
back one? two years?
yep. that time again.
buddhists talks n such
and there it was the same group of people
turning up for another set of talks.
and there it was.
the same feeling
and i wondered.
was it the thoughts that triggered the feeling of being there as before
the whole collated group gathering and belonging
if not discussing then thinking over
the questions being raised.

or.
was it just that winter has arrived again.
the dark cold room
with a group of warm smiles and chatter
alleviating the lonely depression
slowly seeping in from the outside..
creeping in and under your skin
through the wind.

does this post somehow feel dysjointed?
i dunno.
it feels so familiar to be typing again
yet it feels like there's somewhat a distance
some sort of hesitation as to a clear cut topic.
funny this.
somehow it feels like. or as if i do have some
distance with my own blog.
as if meeting back up with an old partner.
trying to get past the initial awkwardness
of getting to know each other again..
trying to relight an old passionate relationship...


hmm.
to some extent... no.
some of those words were just that too far romanticised
but yes. it is true it was hard to start typing a post again
but stepping back a bit, it seems as if it really wasnt that hard
to step back in to this same role..
maybe old habits really do die hard? :P

anyways.
im hoping this is a come back to my once regular posting.
of which the only way would be to make time for it no matter what.
but somehow wondering whether retuning to my mental escape
is really that great of an idea...
good for the mind
bad for my studies :P
...
well hope it isnt.
should be a fun enjoyable past time..
which it once was.

and..
finishing off with a post i started back in feb :)

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New year.
New number.
New age.
New opportunities.
New challenges.
New ...?

so another year has started.
but is everything all so new?
just coz a calendar states that things suddenly stop and start afresh..
is it actually start afresh?
its more like it just goes on.

somehow its like you're stuck in a never ending circle
or like some roller coaster on repeated loop the loop
that you cant get away from
yet if you manage to move away
the new change eventually integrates into routine
and your routine cycles over once again..

some how that thought is slightly depressive
but.. at the same time. comforting
it means that you shouldnt be theoretically
having endless ups and downs
yet they still exist to distort your routine
however routine over rules.
least you hope so...
it would be pretty hard to find financial security other wise.
yet question would be whether
financial or emotional security for that matter
is your ultimate aim?
or a simple life?
or one studded with uncertainties and unknowns
coming round the river bend?

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hoping the rain stops soon..
(reason why i didnt go to uni today..
well that and i need to reorganise my life)

*hugs*

-Del