Not Again -.-

family dinner tonight..
family dinner?
get hyped up meeting n talking to people
get hyped up...
hyped up means random talk
random talk means.. lots of talk
lots of talk..
lots of talk means think through talk
think through talk means...
irreversible talk
irreversible talk means.
ah shit..
un-thought out sentences..

OR

sentences stated without consideration
of the world outside the current bubble im in
that im conversing with the other person.
people sitting right next to me get cut out
out of the lil sphere of focus..
and..
what does that lead to?
the potential to offend...
family? no worries..
they've hopefully realised its a bad habit
close friends?
try to save yourself digging a hole..
friend?
well.. still hole digging..
but a laugh anyways...
aquaintence!?
AH SHIT T.T
SHIT
SHIT
SHIT..
*sigh*

dinner tonight?
meet some cousin's current partners.
first impression.. *cries*

i really need to learn to think before i speak
or at least..
stop spewing random crap that i dont mean
that in reality in a normal convo
i wouldnt say coz its not what i usually think
its just words that come right out
that dont actually represent my point of view at all
just that it happened to cross my mind that way
at that particular moment..
possibly because of some particular
suppressed bitchy thought i may have had
to particular individuals over times in my life...

speak is speak..
un-re-eatable.. cant take them back as easily
my resolution i guess then for this year?
definately.. to LEARN TO THINK BEFORE I SPEAK..
if not.. then at least to keep my mouth shut
least about particular issues.

late now..
dinner n such.. -.-
nite nite
*hugs*
-Guilt-ridden Del