The Little World of Voices in My Head.

do i really have a world of voices in my head?
no i highly doubt it..
unless that's really what they want me to believe!?
what am i on about?
i have no idea
the voices are making me do it.
maybe its just my multiple consciousness-es
and you wonder.
of all the voices
which ones are the way
and the others just noise?
finding the pathway through the haze

*sigh*
i guess in the end its usually when emotions run high
or at least rise and fall
that i have the greatest amount to write about
least when i have time to reflect
and to have those lil conversations in my mind
that those thoughts bubble together
but in your own mind
how much do you trust those voices?
even tho you know them as your own
for some you as enticing as they are you just wanna believe
and yet there's the pull at the other end
the other voices
and there's those that just sit there and commune

isnt it so easy to believe what you're willing to?
and yet in the end
after it all.. all you're left with
is a sense of empty believe that you were once deluded
that or disillusioned.
wasnt it just easier to turn away from the start?
and what of that, that you still wish to deny?
you turn and walk away and yet it pulls you again.
and again. always there
nagging and grabbing for your attention
and yet there's little way to refuse?

what is the self?
the actual individual within you
that makes the decisions?
what if its wrong?
what is there to fall back on afterward?
who's there to console but the silence?
as the noise fades? and you're left with what?
nothing but the reverberations of the past
of what the bright future had bought
the resonance of the days past
was it really what you wanted?
what you wished for?
the hope for the days to come,
all which came to nil? nada? zilch?

all this while, the around the outside
everything else turns, you stand still
and yet the world revolves
you want it to stop to notice you long enough
for you to get back on to your feet
to be the way you were before your path branched
and you made your choice of the split
amongst all the noise, all the distractions
you dont need the world to revolve around you
but could it not just stop for a few seconds?
reading this.
all you could think would be pathetic?
well what are emotions for you?
if you numb it all off...
is it not the same end?
all minus the knowledge of the moments of delusion
is the fall worth the moments of disillusion?
for those who've known the sweetness
how can they return?
and yet for those who have not known
live as they were previously not knowing
the product, the cost nor its worth
so tell me dear.
which path is it you follow?
can you really hear the melody amongst the noise?

you know?
its has yet to be a full week of uni yet.
and its been pretty good
day after day a new surprise
something that i guess i never thought possible
for mid-year since its sem 2
but day after day has yet to disappoint me
ranging from people who've helped me
to those who are just are are around to spend time with
and of course to those people of the past who've appeared
like OMG Praggie :D
small world after all

getting late now
nite nite
*hugs*
-Del