Motivation

So.
i've been told to do this
n i've also been told to do that
and in the family i live in.
there seems to be a thing with longwindedness
or carry on convos where explanation
over arches over many topics
hmm and somehow ive a sneaking suspicion
that i do that too
but that's beside the point.

with the last two weekends filled
with religious happenings once again
and well means more work yeah?
and then that means different people around..
and getting to know people
and well having the point of uniqueness of poeople
reinforced over and over again
and yet. beneath all that is still those similiarities
and with the want for labelling and classifying
sometimes looking between the people
you can sometimes can sorta see how people fall into their place
each taking up their position
working together and well there you have it
everything just 'clicking'
but at the same time.. there's still all that

there's the happy n normally willing people to work
but sometimes you watch them and you wonder
if its that's who they really are..
or is it just yet another layer?

i was thinking of using the word 'facade'..
but then thought about it and reconsidered..
unless there was some prior initiation..
an original source before hand..
why else would they be here..
meaning that they would have had a caring intention
or at least goodwill..
but to continuously come back...
i wonder..
coz is the world out there really that bad?
and why i wanted to use 'facade'?
it reminded me of those venetian masks
that are like made outta plaster like stuff
clay maybe?
anyways..
time wears things away..
and all this continual exposure
sooner or later. you'll get cracks n chips
and a slight slip leaves a mark of you..
in another's opinion or impression of you..

================================================

ok that was left to rot..
but sitting through basically
an arvo worth of 'meeting'/'religious reunion'
weeks after the religious get togethers
where the aim this time was to collect money
for the next job which is indonesia (i think?)
which just got hit by some tsunami rated 8.2
followed by one last night
at bout 5.1 on the richter scale
yep. so raising money..
on the plus there's money being raised
sadly.. always from the same people
on the plus.. these people continue to keep giving

truthfully speaking..
unless this gathering actually took place..
i'd still be oblivious to it all..
for all i know..
last night i was spending my time
facebook-ing, chatting and blogging away
so really would have completely no idea
tho is it really surprising?
what seems to be a peaceful place here
its just not something you'd think about
the possibility of tragedy elsewhere
lest you stop n contemplate
to wonder.. and actually look up the news..

and yet
the reason why im picking up from
the bottom of this previous post
is the fact that today's happenings
in a way reminded me of the ongoings
of what i was writing before back before i dropped it..
is the fact that i couldnt help noticing today
the fact that a particular individual
made a comparison
to everything said.. in relation to another
and i just sat there
n wondered.. why was she even there?
she didnt have to come if she didnt want to...
as nice as it is to contribute and share experiences n all
it sort of hits excess when you say that everything noted
has happened before.. or been done before
by someone that she knew.
burst the bubble repeatedly why dont you?
coz really..
would it not be more fair for you to be out advertising?
instead of shooting down every detail?
it would be ok if it were different places or people..
but every comparison was the same...
you might as well sat there
and been like advertising for an opposing team

except..

there was no official opposing team..
this was nothing but a gathering
reminiscing what's been done..
what was acheived
and what is to be done in the near future
this is a "free" world.
and yeh there is "free" speech
and you can do whatever you choose to "freely"
so really there is nothing that could have been done
but in the same case..
you wonder..
in the place of that individual..
selectively being quiet
in some places woulda been nice for others.

tho coming from me..
i've still yet to completely learn
how to keep my mouth shut sometimes..
mm tho still i've time yet to learn

anyways.
nite nite
*hugs*