why is it..
that when i actually have a thought to blog
i realise that oh i have something due soon
or just get side tracked.
tried blogging
then get barely anything done
so in the end
the point is forgone??
ah well..
tho today
after that mini intro bit
i managed to remember my thought of well.. thought
with a full on weekend of religion-ful-ness
ranging from the bright summery weather on sat
to the entire DOWNPOUR on sun
with the beginning of the weekend being fri night
i sat in for a 'religious gathering'
an example of a religious universal
among the Nailartsua people
anth.. :P
in hours..
we had sat learning to chant in...
wait for it...
TIBETIAN!!
yep.. so i learnt a new language..
of which i dont get a word of what it means
but still.. :D
and well the sat n sun..
buddha's festival was being held in the city
gees.. usual large spending
sat morning?
boat trip..
relating to a ritual to pray for no natural disasters
well at least no water related natural disasters..
so yep
on boat..
sitting there.. listening to chanting
and everyone chanting together
then reach a far out enough place
the boat stopped
and basically it was drifting..
and more chanting
then praying to the dragon lord of the sea
we threw these vase things
filled with herbs n gems n what not filled inside
into the water..
ritualistically
with the flowers
mind plastic was kept on board
[pollution was kept to a ritualistic minimum
well as low as possible to still allow for the
ritual to actually occur]
then turned back
i spent most of that time sleeping
early morning ><
vegetarian lunch..
then off to city for the buddha festival
sunny summery day
off ta kareoke
but then.. had to leave early :(
sunday?
day of stress n rain
tho i guess i jokingly noted
that well..
the offerings polluted the river
so the dragon king got angry
and decided to make it a down pour :P
ah well..
sat was meant to be described as rainy..
but turned out not..
so maybe what? accumulation of pent up repressed rain?
so yep
sang
off stage
off to place where
we were gonna get the 'fo gong' done
basically it was a mini bonfire
where herbs, samples of hair, nails, clothes
and a bunch of chanting happened
then everyone took pix of it
as many as possible
and supposedly with the pictures on the camera
we were meant to see beams of light from above
supernatural beings and/or a dragon come down
or out of the fire or the smoke
not quite sure of which
so everyone was frantically shutterbug-ing
hoping to get a pic then to look at the pic
to look for the possibilities that its true
and then this lady screams out
OMG I GOT IT..! look its rays of light
and there! there's guan yin
i see guan yin in the fire in my picture
EVERYONE get down n pray
and that was it..
everyone was down on their knees
either taking pix
or just there praying
with the continual chanting
the heat of the flames
the smell of the smoke rising up
the atmosphere was such an amazing thing
there was this lovely sense of belonging
that there was this sense of belonging
everyone placed down equally low
on the same level in servitude to this higher being
[tho mind i may be using incorrect language
blogging for me after all is the first word i think of
like a mind stream so it can be incorrectly
interpreted unintentionally
coz i actually take no possible thought
to other readings to the one i mean
in the first place]
basically
it just reminds me about how much
a sense of community and communal wellbeing
can sort of in a simple ritual
brings together a group of people
its just this sense that transcends description
tho you stop.
and you think about it
and for the seconds that you believed
they after sometime
are potentially tinted with skepticism
as you try to rationalise
to understand
to put into your own terms in relation to your experiences
the belief that once again you may have possibly been deceived
that this it was all an illusion
but at the time was so real
for the seconds you believed
that for once you let go to feel
and yet in an instant can be dashed away
but that's where trust and faith come in
it is but through your own trust and faith
that you fully believe
it leaves you vunerable
to trust, to believe, to have faith in
you have to leave your judgements
if you believe
you're left there defenceless
against possible deception
to open completely once again
just as dependant as any infant would be
and you wonder
like is it just that single lady
who claimed what she saw
could just be coincidential?
that the shower of rain left a droplet of water
and the reflection of a flash could just leave
the illusion.. an illusion that lead a-many
from this single claim,
so many people just were on their knees
they were praying and chanting
all lead by one
and you think about it
and then on religion
the thought that hit me on my way along uni today
was a poster that said "Why doesn't God Prove Himself?"
or something of the like..
my memory is fuzzy by now
but i was looking at it
and i was thinking..
why should God have to prove himself?
and what about religion?
is it but a social construct
just to satisfy the wants of the believers
that it just exists to give life a meaning
because in reality there is nothing
do we believe to give ourselves a reason..
to give ourselves a purpose
like the thoughts of plato..
is what we perceive really what is present?
is it really what it seems?
despite what i read on the impressions of people on others
where what is perceived is given as reality
you wander
what about those who are mentally different
those we label as "mad" "insane"
is it that they perceive the world differently from us?
well quite likely
and what of those who seem to
live in a whole world of their own?
is that what is really there?
just like suggested in Buffy..
[oh god im referencing Buffy]
how it was the mentally "deficient"
were those who could see Dawn
for what she really was..
they saw the reality
so why doesnt God prove himself?
what i question is..
why is there a need for God to prove himself?
if he really exists..
does he really in his self need to be revered?
coz if you think about it
is it not he reason he would choose to prove himself
was the fact he wishes to be acknowledged
but in the assumption that he wishes to be acknowledged
does that not place him on the same level as us?
basically a creator but at the same time personified
in human form?
then what actually places him above us?
afterall it is stated that
God wants to have a relationship with us
but in that fact it is not one of equality
he is still higher and it is more like that of
that of the Lord as a Shepherd
guiding us sheep along in our masses
so we're not equal..
is it not a social construct then?
that we wish for him to prove himself?
that to satisfy and consolidate our beliefs
we in our ownselves seek out proof
to justify to ourselves that our own
social structure and personal beliefs and values
are ones that are correct
that the lives we are living are "good"?
"good" that is..
on our own terms
whether it be for the one of satisfaction of desire
or "good" for the general population
for the greater "good"
but who is it to deem what is to be for the "greater good"?
so in our own seeking of the truth
do we not just grasp onto the first possible
sign that shows the possibility
and treat it as the most likely answer?
for what else is denial?
but the rejection of that which does not please us?
denial allows you to hide
to run away
and yet it makes it so much easier to deal with
then there is no actual need for the supposed acceptance
you can just try to run for as long as possible
just not to take what you wish not to happen
and that which you want
as they say..
say it often enough and it may come true
you sort of in a way trance yourself into belief
to make yourself believe what you want
and in the end what comes of it?
sooner or later you'll still gotta deal
even if you wish you could stay
in that particular dream for so long
so..
what do i do?
turn escapism
to sleep i go :P
nite nite
*hugs*
-del
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